Chapter 39: JOOT THE HERO

Jotaro hid behind his rock and willed Katara to rise. But she didn't. Robert was laughing and the laughter was ringing in Jotaro's ears. For all that Jotaro knew, Kakyoin and Zuko were still hiding behind their rock (they weren't as you know. But Jotaro didn't know that.)

Good freakin' grief… if Katara doesn't freakin get up I'll have to freakin fight Robert… damn…

Just then, Robert turned his Golden Eyes directly towards Jotaro.

"AH THERE IS ANOTHER TO KILL. COME FORTH," Robert said.

"Um, no." Jotaro retorted with sas. Jotaro tried to shrink against the rock. He squeezed his eyes shut and wished he was somewhere else. He wished, for the first time in a long time, to be in his childhood room. His mother would be there. That was all he wanted in that moment, in his heart. He just wanted home. For isn't that what we all want? A place to belong?

As if by some sick, twisted magic, Jotaro felt a wash of peace over his soul. Because there, standing in front of him, was his mother.

"Mom?" Jotaro's voice came out small, like a child. His mother smiled at him as if coming from a memory. A memory of when Jotaro was a young boy.

"Hello, my son."

Jotaro shook his head.

"Hell freakin no. You're an illusion of Robert's. He wants to torture me before he kills me,"

"No Jotaro. He does not have all the power in the world," Holly came forward and touched her son's face. Jotaro began to cry loudly.

"Don't cry Jotaro! You're a big boy!" Holly said shrillish.

"Good freakin grief Mom. Why are you only showing up now?"

"It was not the time my son… but I have always looked over you and protected you as if I was God." Holly shone with divine light.

"Mom, come on. Get us out of here. We're all gonna freakin die," Jotaro pleaded.

"Um no. You must kill Robert,"

"Why can't you do it?"

"It is not my place, my boy. You have the strength in your heart. You can do it," Holly's eyes were like roses drenched in holy water.

"But… how?"

"You know how, my child."

"No, I don't!"

"Yes."

"No."

"YEZ MY BOY YOU CAN BECAUSE THE DIVINE RIGHT OF POWER HAS BEEN GIVEN UNTO YOU FROM THE HANDS OF THE WORLD TREE NOW KILL, MY SON I ALWAYS KNEW YOU COULD!" Holly gave Jotaro a swift slapin the face and ran full speed away from him.

"Ugh, what the freakin hell Mom? What do I do?!" Jotaro cried out with anguish and pain. Holly had never been very affectionate. It was then that Robert began to march towards Jotaro. Jotaro was terrified. He felt he would surely die.

"GET READY TO DIE YOU STUPID CHILD." Robert hummed out loud as if he was Justin Beiber. Jotaro couldn't move. Robert grabbed Jotaro by the feet and looked at him like Jotaro was an ant about to be crushed.

"What Hogwarts house are you, Robert?"

"WHAT DO YOU SPEAK OFF?"

"Well," Jotaro said with a smirk "you must be a slytherin cause you are about to slither back into hell!"

In a flash, Jotaro did a backflip and landed on his hands. Then he biunced off the ground and shot up and kicked Robert in the face!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Robert screamed in pain. Jotaro laughed.

"You dumb bitch. When I was a young boy, my mother took me into the city. To see some dumbass marching band. From that moment, I have known how to kill demons from hell…"

"NOOO! STOP! LET ME GO!" Robert cried pathetically. Jotaro punched Robert into the ground with his bare fist. Robert was imprisoned in the ground.

"Now I've got you, you squeamish, disgusting bastard. Now I can beat the living shit out of you… my fav pastime."

"BUT… HOW? I AM ALL-POWERFUL! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?" Robert screamed. Jotaro touched Robert's face tenderly.

"There's only one thing I have to say to you, Robert," Jotaro said as he adjusted his hat. You see, Jotaro knew what to do. He remembered his power. Star Platinum's mind punching power (remember?).

"Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, but rather the hero's heart," Jotaro said with malice. Then… he punched Robert. And suddenly, the sun seemed to explode in Robert's fragmented mind. Suddenly, he was a wee lad, drinking orange juice barbie. His momma was alive and his good mate was his best friend. Jotaro punched him again and sang out "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles!"

Then all of those memories of Robert's were dead and gone and Robert was a little sponge, crying, alone at his mother's grave. The snow fell lightly and seemed to breathe a deathly silence. Jotaro winded back Star Platinum's fist again and yelled "Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad!"

Then Robert was a teen, living with the awful Dursleys, under the stairs. He cried out for his mother, but she was dead as a doornail.

Jotaro punched. Again. And again. The words he was yelling rolled through Robert's mind.

"Say no to drugs!"

"Drugs take you to hell, disguised as heaven!"

"Recovery is an acceptance that your life is in shambles, and you have to change it!"

"Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming!"

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door!"

"STOP! STOP!" Robert begged. But it was too late. His mind was deteriorating and going back to its place of origin… Hell.

Jotaro breathed a sigh of relief and sweated through his jacket. He dramatically smoldered into the sun and breathed heavily.

Enter Robert Requiem.

Robert Requiem flew at Joot like a mad bastard, screaming obscenities and menu items.

"CHEESE! PEARS! FUCKING PASTA! RAVIOLI RAVILIO RAVLIO-"

He was cut off when Jotaro stabbed through the eye with fishing spear. Robert Requiem died instantly. Jotaro immediatly gave an explanation to the audience:

"There's a common misconception that the Requiem version is the stronger one…. That's a filthy lie, propagated by my Grandfather to monopolize American pop culture and the selling of The Idiot Box and Nicotine, corrupting America with youth and capitalism," he said wisely. It was just then that it seemed a holy ray of light began to shine over the world. The trials were over. Jotaro could hardley believe it. It was at that moment that Joseph Joestar fell out of the sky.

"Old man? That you?"

"Oh, my godd! Jo-to-ro! What the hell is going on? I was in prison in hell!"

"Well, I'm glad your back, old man. Good freakin grief… oh, wait. Mom's here too…"

Holly walked weirdly towards her son and father. Together, they had a family hug.

A.N: WOW IS ROBERT FINALLY DEFEATED? IS KATARA ALIVE? WILL EVERYONE FIND OUT KAKYOIN IS A MURDERED? LOOK OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT!