Am I drugged? Is this a stroke? Did my bad habit of lazing about everyday finally come back to kick me in the ass? Oh, god, I got drugged didn't I. There is 0 other reason for me to be wearing this coat. I don't wear coats, they make me get too hot. And the strangest part is that I feel fine. Not cold OR hot. Is this a prank?

This is not a prank. You have been selected to have the Gamer System.

Oh fuck off. You can just let me die instead, if Aqua was right, heaven isn't all TOO bad.

You were not dying when you were displaced. You were deemed compatible with the system, and then chosen to be the new Player.

You say I did not die, yet the more I listen to you, the more this feels like hell.

You were also... "Upgraded", from a simple human. Along with a stat system so that you can properly gauge your strength in comparison to others, you have also had your race changed to something you had come up with yourself.

...No. No fucking way. You dug around my memory, and then made me a overpowered kroger-brand version of Bob from smg4, and then threw me in some random forest!?

Incorrect. You are currently on the continent of Fodlan. Specifically, the forest from the prologue. It is 3 months until the beginning of canon as you know it.

Great. Roughly 60 days to take Cranky's advice and git gud. [Status] is a proper command, right?

Yes. Would you like to use it?

Yes.

Name: Reese Whittington

Species name: Āmarīmanto o shoji; or, Possessing armory cloak

Class: Cloak Spectre

Level: 1

Stats:

HP=11

Str=9

Mag:9

Dex=7

Spd=6

Def=5

Res=5

Cha=4

Personal skill: Metaphysical wave

-Can perform a weakened Divine Pulse to reverse time in order to heal wounds, or to slow down time, halving enemy hit rate & evasion when you engage in battle. You are more likely to be caught up in major events to balance the scales.

Class skill:

Immaterial armory

-Weapons are immediately replaced by a replica on breaking. Can only have weapons in inventory.

Eldritch cloak

-Whenever you are wearing the coat, you gain +5 Dexterity, Defense & Resistance. While it is off, you cannot heal. You cannot remove this class, but the other classes are applied as well.

Arms caller

-Gain the ability to materialize weapons from the coat's abyss. The quality of your weapons is directly scaled to your level.

Current weapons: [none available]

Well now. I have my work cut out for me. So much I could make a joke relating to emos. Can I at least farm exp from animals?

Yes. I can even have music playing for you..

Yes please.