A/N: Hey, everyone! This is actually the first fanfiction I ever posted online, but I only put it on Twisting the Hellmouth originally, so I decided it was time to share it all here with you. It's several years old, so the writing isn't up to my usual standard, but I decided against changing anything. I hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Eureka or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These are owned by Universal Media Studios and Joss Whedon respectively.
Isn't Christmas supposed to be a relaxing vacation? Not in Eureka, or at least not with someone going around summoning song demons. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It all started with the exploding chickens…
Jack Carter groaned as he surveyed the damage. As Eureka's sheriff, he'd seen a lot of weird stuff, and while this wasn't the worst, it certainly wasn't the normal, boring type of issue either. Dr. Jim Taggart, the local eccentric animal expert, had decided to design robot chickens that exploded when attacked. The only problem being he hadn't caged them and one had wandered onto the road and was hit by a car. BAM! No more distracted driver. They had rounded up the rest of the chickens, but Jack's job was far from over. He still had to dispose of the clucks of doom and find out what Taggart had been thinking-if he had been thinking at all.
Jack sighed glumly as he trudged over to where Taggart was in a heated debate with Dr. Allison Blake, head of Global Dynamics' medical science division.
"-and what ever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Are you just going to murder a bunch of poor scared chickens without even giving them a trial?" Jack decided to interrupt Taggart's furious rant before it went too far.
"Hey! That's enough." He waited for their attention then went on. "Now Taggart, do you suppose you could explain to me WHY you thought it was a good idea to put BOMBS in CHICKENS in the first place?"
"Why, foxes of course, sheriff. Them sneaky critters have been harassing all of my animals, so I baited the trap," Taggart nodded sagely. "The first one to try and bite one of my lovely hens would have regretted it."
Jack sighed again.
"Right, well if you can convince Fargo not to destroy the chickens, then that is his decision. If not they are gone, for good," Jack gave him a look. "Agreed?"
Taggart nodded happily.
"Absolutely. I must be off. Cheerio!"
As he moved away Allison turned to Jack.
"Thanks for that. It is so hard to deal with him sometimes. I can't believe he doesn't see the danger those things pose," She stopped suddenly. "You don't think Fargo will actually let them out, do you?"
"I'll go talk to him and make sure he doesn't do anything… Fargo-like," And off he went.
30 Minutes Later…
"Of course I didn't agree to free the robo-chicks. Those things are dangerous," Dr. Douglas Fargo, the head of Global Dynamics, said. "How stupid do you think I am?" He frowned. "Don't answer that."
"Sorry Fargo, but I had to check. It's my job." Actually, he wasn't very sorry at all. You never could tell what Fargo would do. "Anyway, I hope things quiet down from now on. For once I want a quiet Christmas with singing, presents, and good food that won't make people go crazy or turn them into monsters or any of the other bizarre things that happen here. Know what I mean?"
"Yeah, and I will do my best to make sure the whole town can have a relaxing Christmas," Fargo agreed. "Anyway, now that the robo-chicks are dealt with, you can have the rest of the day off."
"Thanks, I appreciate it," And with that he left as fast as he could.
"Ahh," Jack relaxed with a sigh. There was nothing like a cozy fire and eggnog to make a troubling day better.
The phone rang.
"Oh, come on!" With a frustrated growl he picked up the phone. "This had better be good—Yes—Not again—A what?—Fine, meet me down there in twenty." He turned to his daughter Zoe. "I have to go sweetie. There's a man that swears he saw an 'evil robot' and I have to investigate. I'll see you tomorrow."
Zoe looked up from her school work.
"Bye Dad. Say 'hi' to Jo for me,"
And he was gone.
30 Minutes Later
Jack wandered along the streets searching for anything strange looking.
He opened his mouth and began to sing. "Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and fight the fight. Still I always see the strangest dangers. This is so surreal. It just isn't right. Sometimes I am slow, when it comes to foes, but someday I will know…"
Jack walked into Café Diem and up to the counter where Josephina "Jo" Lupo and Zane Donovan were already seated.
"Good morning," Fargo said as he walked in, followed closely by Henry Deacon, Jack's best friend, who sighed in contentment as he sat down. "I've been working all night on Christmas presents," he explained. "The usual," he added to Vincent, who owned and ran the restaurant. The chief nodded cheerfully and turned to his work.
"Good morning, Jack. Oh, hey did Zoe get off to school alright?" Allison asked as she walked up with Fargo.
"What? Oh, uh, yeah. I think so." Jack nervously surveyed the building. Taggart waved from a nearby table. "So, no monsters or rampaging mad scientists, right?" Everyone shook their heads no. "Good! Good. Um, last night did anyone, ah, burst into song or anything?"
Jo stopped chewing. Everyone stared at Jack for a moment before there was an explosion of noise as everyone started talking at once.
"I thought it was just me!"
"I'm not insane!"
"The pineapples were really freaky,"
"So what is it?" Jo asked. "We have to discover what's behind this. I say we start by-"
Henry sat up with a start. "I've got a theory, that it's a machine, a dancing machine, no, something isn't right here."
Allison started when Henry stopped. "I've got a theory, some kid is dreaming, and we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare."
Fargo jumped up. "I've got a theory we should work this out."
Everyone joined in. "It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?"
Fargo perked up. "It could be mushrooms, some rotten mushroom, which are making everyone go crazy, psychedelic trips and wigging out and I'll be over here."
Fargo tried to hide behind Jack to get away from Vincent's angry glower.
Taggart scooted his chair closer. "I've got a theory, it could be foxes."
Everyone stared for a minute. Jo started to sing. "I've got a-"
"Foxes aren't just cute as everybody supposes, they break into coops and trample all my roses, their mind projection's spiffy, their eyes are hypnotic in every way, foxes, foxes, it must be foxes!" Taggart noticed everyone staring at him. He raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe midgets?"
Allison turned to Henry. "I've got a theory we should work this fast."
They look uneasily at Taggart. "Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed."
Jack stood up. "I've got a theory, it doesn't matter. What can't we face if we're together, what's in this place that we can't weather, there's nothing we can't face!"
Taggart shook his head sadly. "Except for foxes."
"Yep, that was definitely freaky. We need to figure this out fast," Allison said with a shudder.
"Is it just us?" Zane asked. "Because it could be something we all ate or drank…"
Jack stood up and walked to the door.
A man stood outside waving around his drycleaning while people did cartwheels around him. "They got the Sinapis Alba out!"
The people surrounding him waved their drycleaning around as well. "They got the Sinapis Alba out!"
Jack turned back.
"It's not just us," he said. "Let's head to Global Dynamics."
Zoe burst into the lab.
"You guys will not believe what happened today!" Zoe said with a grin.
"Everybody started singing and dancing?" Jack queried.
She frowned. "I gave birth to a pterodactyl."
Fargo's head snapped up. "Did it sing?"
"You guys too, huh?" She sighed as she plopped onto a chair.
"What did you sing about?" Zane asked.
"Astrophysics," she huffed. "It was Dr. Copernicus' class."
After a minute everyone went back to their research.
Zoe spied a necklace lying on the table, picked it up, and slipped it over her head.
Night Time: Abandoned Warehouse
A man, his eyes wide with horror, sweat dripping down his body, his mouth an "O" of shock, tap danced. He danced faster and faster until suddenly he burst into flame. Screaming, he fell to the floor in front of a pair of red shoes and red pants.
A slow grin spread across the face of the onlooker.
A/N: The next chapter should be up on the 17th. Please let me know what you think!