Groaning, Kazuma sat up, rubbing his head. Great. He'd died. Again. Well at least he'd managed to defeat the Devil King this time. He looked around, uncertain of where he was exactly. Normally there would be a glowing circle and…

"Eris? Where are you? Come on, cut me some slack, I just defeated the Devil King and-"

There was a loud bang, and Kazuma jerked up as a metal circle rolled past him. He sniffed slightly, and immediately regretted it: Yep, that was a trash can lid and-

A familiar sound of sobbing could be heard, and Kazuma sighed, standing up and walking over to the overturned rubbish bin, where Aqua was blubbering amidst the bags. "What the hell are you doing here, you useless goddess!? You're supposed to be reviving me, not laying around and crying! Where are we, anyway?"

"K-kazuma!" Aqua wailed, jumping up to grab onto him and pull him closer to her. "Y-you d-died, b-but then I-"

Kazuma slapped Aqua unceremoniously across the face, hoping she'd calm down a little. "I know I died! Now where is Eris, and why are we in a back alley somewhere?"

"Um," Aqua blushed and looked away, tapping her index fingers together. "I, um, I sort of...got the attention of the Chief Goddess...and maybe started a fight with her."

"You started a fight with the Chief Goddess. Cool. Now what does that have to do with anything?" Kazuma demanded, making a face and wiping the slimy plastic wrappers off himself. He paused. He wasn't wearing his adventurers gear. He was wearing his tracksuit.

"Er, well, you died defeating the Devil King, but I maybe demanded that we bring you back to life, and um, when she said you had to go back to Japan I maybe got a teensy tiny bit angry and yelled at her that you deserved to make a choice and you shouldn't have to leave Belzerg and you deserved a wish, and then I accidentally on purpose slapped her, and um...I got banished. Again."

"You got banished. To where, exactly? I assume we're back in Japan," Kazuma said, feeling the bottom fall out of his stomach as he looked around.

"Um, yes. I got them to bring you back to life, but they returned you to Japan. I...I'm sorry, Kazuma. If you hadn't died while fighting the Devil King…"

"Yeah, well, it's fine," Kazuma said dismissively. It was not fine. It was not even close to fine. He didn't want to go back to Japan! He was a loser NEET here! Back in Belzerg, he had been rich! He had been famous! He had...he had friends, people who cared about him, people he loved. Megumin. Darkness. Iris. Hell, he had Wiz, and Chris, and Dust, and all his other buddies. He'd even take that asshole Vanir over his life here.

With Aqua still sniffling, Kazuma led her out of the alley and looked around.

"Yeah, this is my home town. I recognize where we are. Sort of. Been a while, things look kinda different to me," Kazuma admitted, glancing around at the quiet street. He was familiar with some of these shops, they were across town from where he lived, over by North High. He was out in the suburbs to the west.

Kazuma turned to regard Aqua, who was in her usual ensemble. "Think you can clean yourself off a little? Can't ride the bus with you smelling like the inside of a dumpster."

"I am a goddess! I do not-" Aqua froze, a look of horror on her face, then she started crying again.

"Alright, sheesh! We can walk, whatever, it's only a few kilometers!" Kazuma said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"N-no, I-I, I'm not a goddess anymore!" Aqua wailed. "They exiled me! I, I think I'm human now! This is terrible."

Part of Kazuma wanted to mock Aqua, as that was sort of his default state. Another part of him was miserable and grieved that he was alone in the world again, but at least he had Aqua. He awkwardly pulled her into a hug, trying not to breathe through his nose. "Hey, it's ok. You'll always be a useless goddess to me."

"I'm not useless," Aqua mumbled, pressing her snot encrusted face into Kazuma's shoulder and making him flinch slightly. Then she moved away, glaring at him. "And I still have my powers! ...I think. Um, Purification!"

There was a slight flash, and a bit of the grim on Aqua's outfit vanished. "Purification, Purification, Purification!" After that outburst, Aqua stood there, panting, but the mess on both her and Kazuma had vanished.

"Sheesh, keep it down, will ya? People around here don't think magic is real and stuff," Kazuma whispered, glancing around. Thankfully, it seemed to be early morning, and the streets were pretty dead. What day was it? Had it been a Sunday when he died? He didn't really remember, it had been a while.

"I...my magic isn't working right," Aqua gasped, leaning on Kazuma. "That was harder than it should have been."

"Right, sure." Kazuma rooted around in his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He was grateful to find a wad of bills and a few coins in there. "This should be enough for the bus. Come on."

He pulled away long, but she seemed exhausted, leaning on him slightly. He normally would have brushed her off, but right now he was sort of reeling himself. Back in Japan, after nearly two years in another world. Was this even home anymore? Whatever. At least he hoped no time had passed, otherwise his parents would have thrown out all his stuff.

"How the hell am I going to explain how I came back to life?" Kazuma muttered. He was lost in thought as he made it to the bus stop, sitting on the bench as he glanced at the route. It was different than he remembered, but he hadn't exactly gone out often. He did find the line that went by his neighborhood easily enough though.

Aqua leaned on Kazuma's shoulder and was soon sleeping, and, of course, drooling on his shoulder. Freaking gross. He glared at her, then his expression softened. She'd fought for him even when he died. Sure, she was still pretty useless, but she was a good friend. Good enough to stand up to the Chief Goddess, whoever THAT was, and argue for his life.

"We'll find a way to get back to Belzerg. Even make you a goddess again," Kazuma whispered. Though he had no idea how he could make that happen. Maybe they could get in touch with Eris?

The right bus came soon enough, and Kazuma shook Aqua awake, then led her onboard. He bought two bus passes, grumbling about the expense as he did so, then went to sit in the back as it would be a long ride back to his house. Aqua took the window seat, looking out with a suddenly happy and curious expression.

"I never got to visit Japan before! I want to try all the new kinds of cuisine and booze! Kazuma, you have to buy me some sake and sushi!"

"Oh, what, you starting your goddess of debt routine already?! I can't buy you sake, moron! I'm not 20 yet!" How old Kazuma was could be a subject of debate. He'd spent two years in Belzerg, which should make him 18, but if no time had passed, he was 16 again. Quite the conundrum.

"Well, I'm at least 20, so if you give me the money I can totally buy it," Aqua sniffed, folding her arms over her chest and looking out the window as the bus pulled away.

"Hey! Hey you! Lady, stop the bus, we need to talk!"

Kazuma looked out the window to see a panic stricken high school boy running towards them, hotly pursued by a frantic looking girl with long red hair. He seemed to be pointing at Aqua, but why he would do that, Kazuma had no idea. Either way, the bus wasn't stopping, so he ignored the dope and leaned back in his seat.

"Introducing you to my parents is going to be a trip," Kazuma muttered. "I assume you don't have a place of your own to stay."

"They didn't let me take anything from my room in the Divine Realm," Aqua sniffed, tears welling up again. "I didn't even have time to grab my wallet! I'm, um, broke again…"

"Super. I can just see it now. 'Hey, mom, dad, I'm alive again, and I have a magical girl friend who isn't my girlfriend, she's just sort of a leech that tries to suck me dry and cries a lot, but she doesn't have anywhere to stay so she'll be living with us now!'"

"I am not a leech!" Aqua hissed, then suddenly paused. "You...you'd let me live with you? At your house?"

"Don't get any ideas. You HAVE been living at my house for ages now! Don't forget who's mansion that is we were living in back in Axel!"

"I earned that place just as much as you!" Aqua growled, shoving at Kazuma. "Don't forget who exorcised those ghosts!"

"There wouldn't have BEEN any ghosts in the first place if your idiot ass hadn't put a holy seal on the graveyard!" Kazuma shouted, sticking his finger in Aqua's face.

"You're the one who made me get rid of them in the first place, you stupid NEET! If you had just let Wiz keep doing what she had been instead of insisting that we-"

There was a loud cough behind them, and Kazuma and Aqua turned to find an elderly woman glaring at them from the seat behind there's. Slowly, they looked around themselves, finding a number of rather irate passengers glaring at the two apparent teens who were causing such a fuss.

"We're sorry," Kazuma and Aqua muttered together, bowing in shame. "We won't disturb you again."

They spent the rest of the long bus ride in awkward silence. Aqua looked deeply disturbed, sniveling and looking out the window, while Kazuma felt awkward and uncomfortable and kept his head down. He felt like a foreigner in his own land, and it wasn't a fun feeling. When had Belzerg become his real home? Probably about the same time he'd joined up with Megumin and Darkness. He was going to mess that crazy chunibyo and that pervy knight.

They arrived at the right bus stop at last, and Kazuma and Aqua hurried off the bus. They started in the direction of Kazuma's house, their pace slow and stumbling.

"Sorry I called you a leech. I...I'm grateful you brought me back to life, one last time. And..and I'm glad you're here, Aqua. I...I'll miss the rest of my friends, but it's good to have you along again."

Aqua perked up, giving Kazuma a sad smile. She rubbed at her red eyes and nodded. "I...I'm glad you're alive too, Kazuma. I...I sort of wanted to go back to heaven, but...but I didn't want to leave you and the others behind either. You...you're my friends. I never really had friends before, aside from Eris, and it wasn't really the same. Belzerg was starting to be more of a home than even the Divine Realm, which is stupid because I am...I was…"

Aqua started crying again, which was both highly irritating and somehow comforting. Kazuma awkwardly put his arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it's OK, we'll get back, somehow. Maybe we can get in touch with Eris, and she can hook us up with a portal to Belzerg or something. I wouldn't put it past Megumin to come up with some crazy plan to find us either. We um, we were getting sort of close, and, uh-"

"Ugh, don't talk about that gross stuff you mortals do," Aqua said, making a face and drying her tears again. She glanced at a spot in the road, then frowned. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Kazuma asked, looking at the same place. Then he jerked back. "Holy crap, that's where I died!"

"Yeah, only...only it doesn't feel right," Aqua crouched down over the asphalt for a moment, running her hand over the surface. "I don't sense any death here."

"Maybe it's 'cause you're not a goddess now?" Kazuma guessed, then immediately regretted it, when Aqua flinched.

"Probably," she said quietly, then stood up again. She forced a smile onto her face, her eyes still watering. "I can't wait to meet your parents!"

"Yeah, well, those assholes laughed at me when I died, so don't get your hopes up," Kazuma muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and slouching slightly as he shuffled forward.

They made their way down the road to Kazuma's little house. It was actually quite nice for a home in Japan, with a small yard and fence around it. His dad was some bigshot engineer at a local firm and his mom was an accountant for the same company. They pulled in pretty good money so-

"Hey, that's weird," Kazuma said, frowning at the house. "Did they have the place painted again? It's back in the color it was before."

"I dunno, why are you asking me?" Aqua demanded in a huff. "Who's that, anyway? Your cousin or something?"

"I don't have a-" Kazuma paused, looking at the little boy who was sitting on the house's steps, tapping away on a Gameboy Advance. He looked to be about six years old, and that was Kazuma's own device he was using! He remembered many fond hours gaming on it, sitting right where that boy was actually.

The boy looked up from his game, frowning at Kazuma and Aqua. "Who're you? Are you trying to sell some dumb magazine subscription for your high school or something?"

"What?! You think we're high school students! I am not a highschool student!" Aqua ranted.

"Kazuma? Is someone there?" a voice called from inside, and Kazuma felt as though someone had walked over his own grave. Other than him and Aqua, anyway.

A woman stepped out of the house, a woman that Kazuma knew quite well. His own mother. Except, it was all wrong. She looked like she was in her 30s again, and she was wearing an outfit that had long been thrown away.

"I dunno, mom, I think they're a couple of weirdos," the little boy commented, standing up and pocketing Kazuma's Gameboy.

Only now, Kazuma recognized the kid. That was him. That was Kazuma Sato, only he looked to be about six years old.

"Are you two selling something? Is it for a club or something?" Kazuma's mother asked.

"No, we uh, we thought this was a friends house. Got the wrong one. Sorry to bother you," Kazuma said, grabbing Aqua's hand and turning away.

"What? I thought you said-"

Clamping a hand over Aqua's mouth, Kazuma hustled her down the street and shoved her behind a large bush at the corner.

"You useless goddess!" Kazuma hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "You brought me back to Japan alright! Ten freaking years ago!"

Aqua made several muffled sounds, then bit Kazuma's hand, which made him swear and jerk it back.

"I didn't send you here! I tried to get you back to Belzerg, you stupid NEET!" Aqua snarled, stabbing Kazuma squarely in the chest with her finger. "I didn't ask to come here! I should be back in heaven, relaxing after beating the Devil King! Instead I'm stuck on earth like some worthless mortal!"

Kazuma grabbed Aqua's finger and wretched it away. "Yeah!? Well I never asked to get hauled into your stupid politics! I just wanted to relax and have an easy life, and instead it's been nothing but misery since I met you!"

That was when Aqua punched Kazuma with a cry of, "GOD BLOW!" and sent him reeling back. He roared in anger and pain, then jumped Aqua, grabbing her cheeks and pulling them apart as she wailed and punched at him.

"You can't even do your own job right! Now I'm stuck here with you, no home, hardly any money, and not a clue what to do! I ought to paint your face and turn you into a clown, because the only thing YOU'RE good for is party tricks and-"

Wheezing, Kazuma stumbled away after Aqua had kneed him in the groin, hard. "You're stuck here!? You dragged me into this in the FIRST place you perverted hikikomori! I was happy enough where I was until you basically kidnapped me!"

Kazuma kicked out, catching Aqua in the leg and sending her sprawling, then scrambled on top of her to slap at her face. "You're the one who didn't leave me to rest in peace! I ought to-"

"Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice the disturbance the two of you are causing. You really shouldn't draw attention to yourselves like that. Not in your situation, anyway."

Both Kazuma and Aqua froze, in a rather compromising position, with him straddling her, while she yanked on Kazuma's clothes.

"We, uh, this isn't what it looks like," Kazuma said, feeling a blush come up. He looked up to find a young man in a nice suit with a friendly smile on his face, his eyes closed as he knelt down to look Kazuma in the eyes. Behind him, two men in dark suits and glasses stood, scanning the area around them, a black SUV with an idling engine obscuring the view to the road.

"Get off of me!" Aqua snapped, and roughly shoved Kazuma aside. She sprang up, glaring at the new comer. "Who are you, anyway? We were just having a friendly discussion! Now, unless you have something to say to us, go away! Kazuma and I are friends, and we'll figure our way out of this."

"Says you. I think we're screwed. I don't want to go back to being a day laborer," Kazuma muttered. At least he could probably do that. Sheesh. He hated the idea of having to get a real job again, but starving to death sounded even worse. Homelessness sounded awful, but he and Aqua would find a way back to Belzerg. Probably. He had no idea.

"A friendly discussion? My, you two must be quite good friends to be so comfortable with one another," the other boy said, standing slowly. The smile never altered, and his posture was open and inviting, but something about him make Kazuma think "smug prick" instead of "happy."

"Listen, asshole, Aqua and I don't need your advice or whatever. So why don't you scoot along back to rich boy school or wherever it is you come from."

"Hmm, I don't think so." The boy waved a hand in the air, and a faint shimmer appeared. "This is them. Grab them."

Kazuma's eyes went wide, as the goons stepped forward, hand extended.

"Woah, woah, back off!" Kazuma said, spreading his arms wide as Aqua let out a squeak and tried to hide behind him. "You want to start something with me, and I'll make you regret it!"

"You are an individual from another dimension or time. The Organization is quite interested in persons such as you. I wonder, how is She responsible for this?" the smiling boy said as his thugs circled around Kazuma and Aqua.

"K-Kazuma, I don't want to get dissected in a lab," Aqua whimpered.

"Yeah, that's not happening. Create Earth!" Kazuma said, holding out his hand. A very small amount of dust appeared, almost miniscule. "Oh shit. Um, Gust!" A faint breeze puffed along Kazuma's arm, sending out a slight spray of the dust.

"Director, they appear to be some sort of espers," one of the goods said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a metal rod that telescoped into a meter long weapon.

"I think She is involved. We will be taking them," the boy agreed. "Fascinating. This is unlike anything we've had to deal with before."

"Aqua, I have a plan," Kazuma whispered as their foes closed in.

"W-what's that?"

"RUN LIKE HELL!" Kazuma roared, and grabbed Aqua's hand, then barreled into the barefisted mook. He managed to knock the man aside, and he and Aqua sprinted down the street, Aqua squealing as Kazuma puffed hard, the two goons hard on their heels. He skidded around a corner, then led Aqua down a narrow back road the car couldn't pursue them down.

"STOP RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME OF THE ORGANIZATION!" one of the men bellowed behind them.

"SCREW YOU ASSHOLES!" Kazuma replied as Aqua continued to wail and blubber in panic. "AQUA, MAKE SOME WATER, SLOW THEM DOWN!"

"S-Sacred Create Water!" Aqua gasped, pointing a hand at the man. About as much water as would be produced by a regular garden hose shot out, which slowed the men for a moment, but then they were right after the pair again.

"Kazuma, Kazuma!"

"Oh just shut up, I saw!" Kazuma snapped. "Just run!"

They rounded the corner and Aqua crashed face first into a warm, soft, somewhat squishy surface, which meant Aqua slammed right into the back of him, and her warm, soft, squishy bits were imprinted on Kazuma's back. If he weren't trying to flee for his life (and it hadn't been Aqua behind him) he probably would have enjoyed the experience. As it was, he rebounded off the mammaries before him and fell on top of Aqua with a thud.

"Oh, goodness!" the source of Kazuma's brush with second base gasped. She was a woman in her late twenties or so, with glasses and long red-brown hair. She looked vaguely familiar, but just then Kazuma couldn't fathom just where he had seen her before.

"Shit, sorry lady, but we-"

"Hold it!" Kazuma cringed and spun as the thugs caught up to them, panting and soaked. "You! Back off, this is the Organization's business, not the TPDDs!"

"I think you will find this is very much my business, as these two individuals are, in fact, time travelers," the woman said firmly, stepping forward.

"Holy shit lady, you cannot just SAY something like that!" Kazuma cried, jumping up and hauling Aqua to her feet.

"I'm not a time traveler!" Aqua protested. "I'm a-"

Kazuma shoved a hand over her mouth. "Ix-nay onway e-they oddess-gay uff-stay."

Aqua glared at Kazuma and muttered something. Then he realized she probably had no idea what he said, because she was too stupid to know pig latin. "Shut up about all that stuff. We're just two ordinary teens, right? And these assholes should bugger off and leave us alone."

After a moment, Aqua nodded rapidly and Kazuma removed his hand. "Um, yes! This Kazuma Sato, and I'm, er, Aqua Mizu! We ah, we're selling magazine subscriptions for our High School, which is uh-"

"North High. We both go to North High," Kazuma said, picking the highschool across town instead of his own alma mater. "We're in the, uh, Media Club."

"If you both go to North High, I would think I would recognize you, seeing as I attend there myself," the smiling boy from earlier said as he strolled forward. "Hello, Miss Asahina. Or should I call you something else right now?"

"Director Koizumi," the woman said, nodding slightly. "I'm here to see you don't make a grievous error."

"Error? Why, we were just going to take these two anomalies in for questioning. That's all. Quite a massive area of Closed Space appeared right as they did. We managed to track them down, not that they made it particularly hard."

"Are you guys working for Planters, because you're all freaking nuts," Kazuma said, slowly backing away with Aqua beside him. "We just, um, we're gonna go so that-"

"Kazuma Sato. I suggest you do not depart. You are very important to the stability of this world, as is, ah, Miss Mizu," Asahina said firmly.

"I agree. And they will be going with me," Koizumi said, his smile widening until it became downright disturbing, never touching his eyes, which remained hooded. "I owe some fondness for the current version of yourself, but the future version I have no reason to be gentle with. Don't make this hard on yourself, Miss Asahina."

"That would be a mistake on your part. But I planned for this. You see, I have an insurance policy," Asahina said with a smirk. "Nagato?"

A purple haired girl of about sixteen in a school uniform with a dark jacket and glasses stepped out from behind a tree behind Kazuma. "Itsuki Koizumi. It would be unwise to interfere here. The girl is an alien being, possibly a Humanoid Interface."

"I'm a who now?" Aqua asked, looking baffled, but everyone ignored her.

"She does have the hair for it," Koizumi admitted. His smile never faltered, but the way he tapped his foot indicated irritation. "I'd also be a fool to ignore your advice, Nagato. Well. This is interesting. So what do you plan to do with these two then? What of the boy?"

"I got a name, you smug jackass," Kazuma snapped. "And stop talking like we're not here or something! Who the hell are you people?"

Koizumi and Asahina ignored Kazuma, studying one another for a long moment, until Koizumi spoke. "Well. What do you suggest, Miss Asahina?"

"She has likely brought them here. I suggest we give Her what She wants in this case. She's been speaking of expanding the club for the coming school year. Well, here we have our opportunity: two transfer students. An exciting preposition. It should keep Her happy for some time."

"What the heck are you two babbling about?!" Aqua demanded, shoving her way forward between Asahina and Koizumi. "Who's this 'She' person? What are you so worried about?! And if you know so much about Time Travel, send me and Kazuma back to his proper time so we have somewhere to stay! I am a g-"

Kazuma kicked Aqua in the shin, causing her to howl and swing clumsily at him with her fist, which he dodged. "She's a girl, and she doesn't want to be homeless. But that stuff about time travel is clearly crazy talk. So we'll just be on our way."

"B-but Kazuma, they look like they have money! I don't want to be a homeless day laborer again!" Aqua wailed.

"I'm afraid time travel for the two of you is out of the question for the moment," Asahina said, giving a sweet smile that actually did reach her eyes. She looked at Kazuma and Aqua almost fondly, as if she knew them or something. "You'll just have to do it the normal way. However, I think between myself and Director Koizumi, we can do something about your current situation."

"Your plan is a good one. I suppose it wouldn't be too hard to set these two up with everything they need to start school next week," Koizumi agreed, his smile fading as he looked thoughtful. "It would give Her something new to do. We've been having real problems with closed space: she's likely feeling Melancholy again, even with our efforts."

"Ok, who is this 'Her' you keep talking about?" Kazuma demanded. "I'm all up for free stuff and rent, but you idiots are making this sound like some insane S ranked quest."

"S ranked quest. How quaint," Koizumi said, a faint grin brushing his lips. "Well. It's quite simple:She is Haruhi Suzumiya. And you two just volunteered to join the SOS Brigade."

Kazuma and Aqua exchanged a look. "Huh?"

Somewhere, God was laughing. And she was not playing nice.