How could a kiss feel so wrong, yet so right at the same time?
A/N - Just a short one shot I uploaded on A03. I thought I'd upload it here too.
The next few moments happened so fast. She moved closer to him, feeling a powerful outburst of desire surging her. Instinctively, she reached out a hand, running it along the scar he had received from a wolf bite as a child. She thought he would flinch, but he remained steady, cool blue eyes lingering on her face.
Heart pounding, she drew in a deep breath, swallowing a mouthful of air, then looked into his eyes, hoping to communicate her desire to be with him. It seemed to work. He drew closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. Taking that as a sign of encouragement, she moved her head forward, then closed her eyes. Soft lips brushed against hers and at that very moment, her overriding hot passion for him run through her veins. She trembled slightly, but raised her hands, placing them around his head pulling him in close, a soft moan escaping her.
But then her mind finally registered what was happening. It was like a sudden slap in the face. Randvi pulled away from Eivor, and looked down at her feet, her face burning with shame and guilt. Why? A simple word, but a complex question to answer. Why had she kissed him? She was a married woman! They were standing on the cliff's edge overlooking a small lake. It was supposed to have been a day away from the stuffiness of the long house – to allow her to have a chance to breathe – but instead had become more suffocating than before.
"Randvi…" Eivor started, his tone calm.
"I'm sorry," she replied, still refusing to meet his eyes, her tone unsteady. How could she? "I don't know what overcame me. I should return home." Another lie. She knew why. She didn't love Sigurd. It was a love birthed from politics. Only one man filled her dreams at night, and he was standing before her now. Ashamed, she turned around and prepared to walk down the gentle hill, but a strong arm grabbed her own.
"Randvi," he repeated. "You are not to blame."
Now she looked at him, gazing into those cool blue eyes that had witnessed so much pain and suffering. "But I am. I hurt Sigurd, my husband, your brother. I placed you in a difficult situation." She bit down her lower lip. "I was foolish. It never should've happened. I'm sorry."
He reached a hand forwards, his fingers brushing up against her right cheek. "Stop apologizing. I made a choice too. Sigurd…" He lowered his hand, drawing in a deep breath, turning his head to the side looking in the direction of home.
"What are we going to do?" Randvi said.
Eivor ran a hand through his hair and turned back to face her. "We speak of this to no one. It was just a kiss. Nothing more."
Her shoulders dropped, and a heavy weight gripped her chest. "Nothing more?" But she wanted it to mean something. Something deeper. Eivor pulled away and turned his back, already preparing to mount his horse and take her back home. "Nothing more," she repeated. Of course. She would be a fool to place a deeper meaning on the kiss. Nothing but a mistake. Heat in the moment. But sinful thoughts would not leave her mind. She had to know.
"Randvi?" Eivor called, turning around to face her once more.
She approached him. "I wish things were different, Eivor. Every time I should be thinking about Sigurd, I think about you instead. You fill my thoughts. Your worries become my own."
Eivor stopped and turned around once more. "But Sigurd…"
She closed the distance between them, and grabbed his arms, looking directly into his eyes. "…Doesn't satisfy me. If this kiss meant nothing to you… Tell me. I need to know, or I'll never be able to sleep properly with these thoughts inside. What do you want, Eivor?"
He rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture he often did when he was faced with a difficult choice. He then pretended to scratch his chin, as if there was an itch, before lowering his hand. "I care about you, Randvi. But people will talk. Basim is always watching. Dag already suspects I want everything Sigurd has."
She nodded. "I know."
"And Sigurd…" His voice faltered. "Sigurd is my brother," he added, as if to remind himself.
The loyal brother, Eivor. He did everything Sigurd asked. Defended his choices. Supported his ideas. He swore an oath he would never do anything to hurt him, but she had made a choice for him. Had he seen her letter? Was that why he hadn't been shocked by the kiss? Still, she wasn't prepared to give up just yet. The kiss had been hopeful. "Every time I look at the throne, I see you on it instead. I long for the day." When you become our Jarl, she thought.
"You never loved him."
She cast her eyes downward, ashamed. "It was all political. He's never shown any love. All he seeks is glory." She bit her lower lip to prevent herself from more complaints about her husband. Eivor wouldn't confess to Sigurd, would he? He wouldn't have a reason to unless the guilt drove him to, but did he feel guilty? It was hard to know. He had responded eagerly. If she hadn't pulled away…
"Randvi," he said, grabbing her arm again, gently.
She looked up. "You don't want to betray your oath."
"I already have." He embraced her once again, strong arms around her waist.
"No regrets?" She draped her hands over his shoulders.
"None at all."
They continued to hold each other, until their mouths finally parted, silently staring into each other's eyes. She placed her head against his chest, hearing the beating of his heart. A smile spread across her lips. He ran a hand through her hair, planting a gentle kiss on her head then nuzzled his nose against it.
"We'll face the storm together. Whatever happens I won't abandon you."
She smiled. "And I will stand by you."
So, this is something I randomly came up with one morning, inspired by countless other stories here and my own ideas. Apologies in advance if characters may seem a little off, but I haven't managed to delve much further into the game (been a bit distracted!). Hopefully, that wasn't too awful!
On a random side note, I'm looking for other writers (and gamers) to join a writing and video gaming forum I own (we also have a Discord server). If you are keen, PM me!
Happy New Years!