Chapter 7 - Unwanted Guests


He had spent the whole day trying to get the sliding technique to work, without much success. Not that he expected much. He was trying to create a whole new technique, while yes it was simple and based on techniques he had mastered long ago, it was still creating a new one and he had been at it for a few hours only.

The sun had just set and he was waiting for his partner to get back. He had told him that he could go off on his own as long as he returned in the evening.

He was just starting a little campfire when Kisame returned. The Sharkhybrid was absolutely covered in blood and innards. In his maw, he held a still slightly twitching Usapil.

His eyes didn't leave him even as the Usapil was dropped at his feet, trying pathetically to squirm away. A quick movement was enough to snap its neck.

Still not looking away, he pointed to the river beside their camp.

"Clean up."

While his partner obliged with only a small whine, one that reminded him far too much of the real Kisame when he was told to clean himself after making a mess, he was having a slight inner panic.

Had Kisame been hunting Usapils the whole time? He had gained him about one and a half levels, and those things gave not much EXP. Considering that the shared EXP was even less, he had to wonder just how many of the things had his partner killed?

He was absentmindedly skinning the rabbitlike thing when he noticed one of the most obnoxious voices he had ever heard coming in his direction. And he had the distinct displeasure of having worked for Gato, so that was quite the achievement.

But there was still hope that they would ignore him and leave. He had been rude all the time. Everyone with even a shroud of common sense would understand that he didn't want anything to do with them.

"Oh, hey Momochi-san."

And there was the flaw in his logic. Neither of the blond Morons had even the smallest amount of it, and Blondie even less than Bow Boy.

Now how could he get rid of the idiot and his partners without antagonizing himself? Ignore them? Yes, that was worth a try, even if he was pretty sure it wouldn't work.

"How are you holding up?"

Why did he have to be right? Seeing Kisame return from the river, now at least somewhat cleaner than before, he flicked the innards of the Usapil he still had on his Kunai towards him. Jumping a bit they were devoured in a single bite.

"Wow. You managed to get a Sharkbear? That's so cool. I only have this dragon egg I bought in the city. It should hatch in a week or so. I didn't know anyone was selling a Sharkbear, I'm kind of jealous you bought him before me."

"I killed his mother and he decided to stick around."

Why did he say that? He had decided on ignoring Blondie, now the idiot would think he was starting a conversation. Dreading the moment the fucker would open his mouth again he finished bleeding the Usapil out.

When there was still nothing when he put it over the fire he turned to the boy he knew was still there. He as well as the group of girls that were accompanying him stared at him slack-jawed.

Turning towards them had seemingly snapped them out of whatever stupor they had been in.

"HOW?"

It took a lot of his self-control not to throw the bloody Kunai, he was still in the process of cleaning it, through his skull at the sudden shout.

He simply continued to clean the knife. Because if they were going to continue to bother him, and he would lose his self-control ending in their deaths. He would do it with a clean blade, he had standards after all.

"Do you mind if we join you for dinner?"

How had that idiot still not understood that he didn't want them here?

"Yes."

"Oh, if it's about the food, we have our own. Don't worry."

He highly doubted that. None of them had any packs or anything where they could have stored their supplies.

Before he could tell them to fuck of because he really had no patience left for him, or that bitch of a princess, or the fangirls. They had already begun making themselves comfortable.

He was just opening his mouth to tell them to scram when Blondie made some gestures as if he was tapping those weird translucent signs while holding his spear in front of him when out of nowhere, a roasted turkey fell into his hands.

While he was a trained Shinobi, even he couldn't completely hide his surprise. Thankfully nobody noticed, since Kisame immediately pounced from the side and snatched the meal away, devouring it in three quick chomps.

He couldn't help the smirk at that. Masking his prior surprise and amusement at the shriek the idiot had let loose, he petted his partner who leaned into the touch, before wetting a small cloth and starting to clean him. He most certainly wouldn't show them his Suiton manipulation.

"What the hell man?"

"He didn't eat yet. It's your own fault."

"Yeah, okay. I really should have thought about that. Sorry."

Wait, what? He seriously accepted it that easily. Just how naive was he? Not that he was really complaining. Well, he kind of was. Because that idiot somehow was too dense to understand he wanted him to fuck off.

While continuing to scrub away the crusted blood from Kisame's weird scale fur, he kept an eye on Blondie as he started manifesting food again.

At the start, he had tapped the space above the spears red gem and then continued to seemingly select multiple things from a list only visible to him that all appeared the moment he selected them.

He'd have to test that out later. Because if he was right that worked similar to a storage scroll, just that it couldn't be destroyed or lost since it seemed to be tied to the weapon.

His meat seemed just about finished when he got the worst of the blood of his partner. He'd have to tell him to clean himself in the future before the blood dried.

Cutting off one of the legs he threw it in the direction of Kisame who jumped up to catch it like some puppy dog.

The real Kisame would be melting if he saw this. The bastard could blow up puppies without a shred of remorse, he had seen him do it, but show him a picture of a baby shark, and suddenly the Kirigakure no Kaijin was replaced by a gushing man who couldn't get enough of 'that cuteness'. And here his Kisame was being a shark hybrid and acting like a puppy.

Not that he missed the bastard or anything. He may be missing the occasional spar with his fellow swordsmen, one that would actually provide a challenge. But he didn't miss them.

"..y. Hey. Momochi-san? You there?"

Right. The blond idiot was still here.

"You looked kind of spaced out there. I mean, you didn't even notice your Sharkbear eating your meat."

He looked down and surprisingly Blondie was right. He was only holding the last ends of the Usapil's foot.

"Just thinking about someone."

"A friend?"

"An absolute Bastard. Merciless, cold-hearted, and ruthless. Watched him shred off a child's legs and then rip apart the boy's mother in front of him once."

They didn't need to know that he had been responsible for killing the father. They had received intel of a small family of Bloodline users. So he and Kisame had been ordered to take care of them.

He remembered that mission well, seeing as it was his second one where he had been partnered up with the Shark. He had barely become a Chunin.

"Oh, Um, Yeah. So, we finished our food, so...we'll just leave you to it. We want to get back to the city before the gates are closed."

Finally. If he knew that was all it took for them to fuck off, he'd have told them that in the beginning.

He waited until he was sure they were all gone and out of earshot and couldn't see him anymore. Taking out his sword he tapped the space above the blue gem and about half a second later one of those translucent signs appeared.

The thing was labeled an 'Inventory', quite accurate. Looking it over he saw something from just about everything he had killed so far.

Ballon Scraps. Usapil bones, flesh, and hide. Mushroom mush. Sharkbear Materials. Tangworm Hide. He froze as he reached the bottom of the list.

Money.

He gained money simply by killing things. No selling, no taking apart, no extra steps. And Kami did he have a lot. Judging from the sheer abundance of Usapil materials, he'd have to thank Kisame for that.

Because seriously. He had far more Usapil things than he had Ballon Scraps. And he had killed hundreds of those.

Tapping the Usapil meat, a smaller sign appeared that asked for the amount he wanted to take out, limiting him to a hundred at once. Not that it mattered with the amount he had.

Selecting one, he confirmed the choice, and an already gutted and bled out Usapil carcass dropped into his hands. He could start cooking this immediately, meaning he wouldn't have to worry about food.

Taking another two out, he whistled for Kisame's attention.

"Good job today. Tomorrow hunt something different, don't want them to go extinct. And don't let yourself get that dirty again, prey will smell you from miles away."

Tossing the two carcasses to his partner he watched them get devoured in an instant.

Opening the inventory thing again he took a closer look at his finances. He had gained 66 Gold 89 Silver and 23 Copper from about a week of killing random things that died with a single hit, as well as one tough opponent.

He would have to find out if different monsters brought different amounts of money. But even if not, he could easily live off the money made from monsters.

He had killed roughly 17000 monsters if he could trust his inventory. Meaning if every monster gave the same amount of money, he'd get about 40 Silver per kill. Which was more than enough to get by.

The question was how much each monster gave him in materials. Because the Sharkbear Mother had definitely given him several, meaning maybe some of the weaker monsters gave him more than one thing. Or maybe you didn't even get something from everything.

If he factored in those possibilities he could expect between 10 and 60 Silver per kill, which was still more than enough.

This meant he wouldn't have to sign up with that guild to make money. Which meant fewer possible ties to the Kingdom, in case a war broke out or he needed to get out quickly. It also meant keeping a lot of his capabilities a secret since there wouldn't be any records of what he had slain or of missions he had taken.

So for tomorrow, he had to organize his Storage Scroll and Inventory. While the second was undoubtedly useful, he shouldn't rely on it too much. Then he'd have to find out how much materials and money he would get from monsters. Continue learning the language. And of course, continue to develop his chakra sliding.


One other thing he had found out in the evening was that he could turn on something called 'Drop Notification' which apparently showed him what each killed monster added to his inventory.

And so he was now ripping the red ballon apart with his bare hands.

Because fuck this shit. He wanted to know whatever deity was responsible for this because he'd shove Kubikiribōchō up their ass. And if they didn't have one, he'd make one.

There was no discernible pattern to how much materials he got from monsters. The only certain thing was that higher level meant more money and that some materials could only get dropped in a maximum amount from a single monster.

He wanted to vent his anger at this complete randomness. But no. Everything had to die with a single hit. Where was that fucking Bastard Kisame if he needed him as a punching bag, or slicing bag to be more accurate.

Not even killing with Kubikiribōchō calmed him down. Because he knew all of those fucks would die with a simple scratch no matter what he used. They fucking popped when he chopped them with his hand. How was this supposed to be satisfying?

At least no one was around since he was by now about two days out from the city by foot. If there was he might have just started killing them.

"-p"

He stopped his giant sword mid swing, sparing the unfortunate yellow balloon that instead was immediately shredded by the little Kisame.

Holding up a hand he signaled his partner to stop and channeled chakra into his ears. Straining them to catch what he had just heard.

"Shut up no one's around to hear ya.*"

"Yeah. come back with us, we're gonna have a lot of fun together."

"Aelfric. I doubt she's gonna have fun, we on the other hand."

"Yeah yeah, all the same."

He had been silently approaching the voices with practiced ease. Arriving on the top of a small hill, he just caught two men dragging a struggling person into some sort of cavern entrance.

This was just what he needed to calm down. Some good old-fashioned killing. And since it seemed to be a small closed cavern, he could use the few smoke bombs he had, and terrorize them in their last moments. Yes, this was going to do wonders for his mood.

"Kisame. Now you'll see how you properly toy with bastards, so play close attention."


Kisame's Adventures II:

He was still so proud of himself. Mother had praised him yesterday. Although it seems she didn't want the white fluffy blood-filled things gone. Which meant, he always should leave survivors if he went hunting.

Although he didn't understand why Mother wanted that. Maybe she wanted to kill some herself? Surely that must be it. He could understand that.

But right now? Right now he was ecstatic. They had spent the morning on a rampage, decimating anything they could find. Some white fluffy blood-filled things that Mother had called Usapil. Weird Mush-filled bouncers. And then these abominations. These chewy bright air-filled things dared to call themselves prey?

How dare they, it was an insult to every prey in existence. He hoped Mother would allow him to hunt them to extinction, surely she would understand.

But for now, he had to observe, Mother was showing him something important. He wondered what those round balls were she took from that long round thing that rolled out and spew smoke and things.


Moin Moin.

First off. Wow. Somehow I didn't think the little bit about the daily life of the adorable little murder puppy would be so well received, but just as something like "That's neat" and yet...

But anyway. So now Zabuza knows about Inventories. And the frustration that are drop chances. Seriously I absolutely hate hunting for drops. Because I have the worst of luck, I can try to farm something with a 50% chance and only gain 2 after killing 15 mobs. I hate it.

More importantly next chapter we're gonna see the Kirigakure no Kijin in action. Also I apologize for the long wait.

-Zimzimgar