Rey had said, stating her last name proudly as she stared off into the distance of the desert, seeing the siblings who in a way had become surrogate parents to her. Now the war was over, she had buried the sabers, and now she intended to spent some time alone to reflect, and to mourn what she had lost. Her soulmate. Finn didn't like the idea of her going off alone, but Poe had sensed the anxious overwhelming glimmer in her exhausted brown eyes as she explained herself. Clearing his throat and putting his arm around her, he nodded and agreed that some time away sounded just fine. He even insisted on letting BB8 go with her. Finn was left uneasy, as Rey simply explained that she needed just a little time alone. That she had to grieve the ones she lost, as well as recover from what had happened. She stayed with them for just a few days, her clothes cleaned and returned to her, her scratches and bruises tended to, and finally one morning she left, planning on going back to the remains of Luke's childhood home.
She had decided on staying a month or so. Tatooine was similar to Jakku, the same climate, and vast empty land. She figured a little time alone, healing, and reflecting and exactly what she needed. After unloading her supplies from the ship, she ventured back down to the inside of the remains of the very same ranch Luke had lived in during his youth. She had heard plenty of stories, and despite the terrible tragedy which resulted in his aunt and uncle being killed, this was still the skeleton of a warm home, where Luke had lived never knowing the legacy that surrounded him. She had ventured into one of the tunnels, and unloaded her things, lighting a lantern as the evening began. Shadows grew, as she made the small area that she supposed might have been maybe Luke's bedroom. She unrolled her sleeping bag onto the cut in shelf that served as a bed, and placed her bag down, sitting and taking her food, preparing it. She sat at the lone table where the lantern sat, picking at her food, not really tasting it, and staring down the tunnel into the darkness.
BB8 beeped and rolled back and forth happly, while Rey continued to think back on that terrible night... Finally she took the last thing tucked safely inside her bag that she had brought.
His black shirt and slacks. She had gathered them after he vanished right before her very eyes, using all of his life force to save her. She had kept his boots as well, which sat at the bottom of her bag. They were huge, and she had slipped into them the first night after everything happened, Staring down at her tiny feet, sticking into the boots. She had shuffled her feet back and forth, before bowing her head, feeling a heavy ache in her chest. She packed them, knowing she couldn't part with them. Tonight, she took out his shirt, a long sleeve black one. Folded neatly beside his boots, was his slacks, but it was the shirt that she had been desperately clinging to ever since she lost him. Holding the large black shirt, holes near the chest, she sat down on the bed, slowly laying back against her sleeping bag. She glanced over at B8 who knew how badly she was hurting. He sadly beeped, before wheeling over to the table, and going into sleep mode. Laying back, with only the light of the lantern, she held onto his shirt, before deeply inhaling against it. She could still strongly smell his scent against it. It was strange, his smell was a strange mixture of musk, leather, and whatever soap he had used. It wasn't those strong oils men used to mask sweat, it was something else. Strong, and pleasant. The few brief times they were close enough she had smelled this against his thick black hair, and his clothing. She knew in time the scent would fade, and finally one day they would just be clothes. Laying there, she curled up, clutching onto the shirt, burying her face against it, closing her eyes, wishing so badly that he was here. Sleep came in time, all the while, she continued holding onto his shirt, softly weeping exhausted tears against it.
Rey could see Ben in the distance, standing and staring at her. His face pale, and his eyes desperate. She felt the urgent panic fluttering in her chest as she saw him. He was less than ten or so yards away, standing against the faint blue swirling mist where he had died... He was standing there, reaching out for her, trying so badly to make contact. She stared at him, looking exactly the same as he did, tall, broad, and handsome. She tried running towards him, but it seemed as if she was stuck. She fought to move, but she was trapped, standing locked in place, reaching in panic towards him before she began to scream.
He then began running towards her, his boots hammering against the rocky ground. His long legs making long strides, his hair blowing back slightly, the same desperate panic in his very own eyes as he finally reached her. The moment he came to her, his boots skidded, sending tiny pebbles towards her. He swayed, before standing less than a foot away from her. His chest heaved, as he stared at her. Rey's eyes filled with tears, as she let out a gasp of relief.
He stared at her, tried, and was relieved. He smiled that same handsome wide smile, making his eyes squint. He reached forward, wrapping his large firm arms around her, squeezing her fight, crushing her breasts against his broad chest. She buried her face against his shirt, deeply inhaling, faintly hearing his heartbeat hammer.
"Ben, please stay with me! Please...I can't lose you...please..."
She sobbed, as he continued squeezing her tight, lifting her slightly off the ground, nuzzing against her neck. That's when Ben leaned down and began to whisper to her...
She woke, tears still streaming down her face as she had Ben's crumpled up shirt right against her face. Slowly opening her eyes, she blinked, and looked around. Judging from the faint light coming in, it was early morning. She looked around, the lantern having burned out. Holding onto Ben's shirt, she looked down at it before feeling a terrible ache in her chest. Sighing, she gently stroked the shirt, before her face crumpled, feeling suddenly all of the grief and pain she had stored away since it happened. He was really gone...and she was alone. Burying her head against his shirt, she loudly began to moan, gently rocking back and forth, feeling as if she was having a complete breakdown. BB8 awoke, lighting up, and rolling towards her. She curled into a small ball, almost like a small child, her head bowed, and holding onto Ben's shirt as she continued to sob and moan. Her chest heaved, her heart ached, and she cried until finally she couldn't cry anymore. She felt as if her insides were being torn apart. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to die? She couldn't do this without him.
"Rey...you can come back...I know how..."
She remembered Ben whispering to her. What he said didn't make much sense, but she was almost certian he had told her a way that she could see him again. He had warned her that it was dangerous...but on the other side of whereveer he was, he was just as alone, and desperate to see her again.
Closing her eyes, she ignored the terrible ache in her chest, and focused on breathing. She held his shirt, and slowly breathed, trying to find the answers and remember what he had told her in the dream.
"There is a way, but only to use once...you can go back, use the force...you can have more time, but at a cost..."
Her eyes snapped open, and suddenly she knew a way to see him again. It was dangerous, but she knew she had to try... Smiling for the first time in what happened like a lifetime, she looked down at BB8 and sighed with relief. BB8 buzzed to her, worried and filled with panic. Shaking her head, Rey ingored his concern.
"I can't summon Master Luke or Leia they might try to stop me...but I think I know a way I can see Ben again..."
BB8 beeped with worry, before Rey clutched onto Ben's shirt, like a desperate crazed woman...ready to do whatever it cost to see the love of her life just one more time...