Hide and Drink

Author's Note:

This story was originally published on Twilighted in 2010. It was my first voyage into the realm of Twilight fanfiction, and still very dear to me. If you have read it before, nothing has changed. Hopefully, you consider it worth a re-read! If you haven't read it, I hope you enjoy it! Do check my author profile for the overall disclaimer. There are no puppies or rainbows here! :D

Summary: Bella's blood was just too tempting to be ignored. In this version of Twilight, Edward takes Bella on a sadistic journey with his monstrous side. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. EPOV.

"There was no other blood like this. Once she was gone, it would no longer be within my grasp. But if I stopped now, she would heal. Her body would make more. The blood would replenish. I could drink again. The promise of more – it was the only incentive that could have caused me to stop."

Story notes: This story is M because of violence and of course the sex is imminent. Just give it a while to get there.

Disclaimer: All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

Chapter One: Bite and Run

Edward, you're losing it.

No kidding. I didn't need to see Jasper's face to know the look in his eyes. The brick walls of Building 3 stood between the two of us, which meant whatever I was feeling – I had no name for it – was strong. But Jasper's talent left him at a disadvantage. He could only feel – not read, not see. If Alice had been with him, she would have understood more. She would have tried to stop me. Has she seen what I will do yet? Will she get there in time and stop me? I quickened my steps.

It's better this way, I told myself again and again as I walked away from the school and into the wooded area and the trails that would eventually lead me to that wondrous scent. No witnesses. No collateral damage. No innocents. Except her.

The unlucky doe that crossed my path in the woods between Forks High School and the house of the chief of police did nothing to slake the shaking in my hands or to take the edge off the need to have her blood inside me. It did take the tiniest slice off the thirst itself, though. I could make it last longer now. I could make her last longer now. I knew the one thing the monster inside me could not allow was a rush through this experience. Who was I kidding? He wasn't just buried inside me now. We had merged.

Her scent still clouded my mind, though it had been a good fifteen minutes since I was next to her in the office. Just walking past her was enough to let her smell permeate me. It was on my clothes and embedded in my skin. I could even smell her in my hair. I couldn't think anymore, because the smell was in my brain. I could only watch my body react to the deliciousness that was Bella Swan's blood.

Her truck was there in the driveway, the rusted out lump of scrap metal still irradiating heat from under the hood. It had been no more than two or three minutes since it was turned off. I inhaled deeply as I walked out of the woods behind her home, her tomb. I walked past the truck and the battering ram hit me again. Her pure scent, no longer twisted with my own crashed into me and I felt a growl rise out of chest. Here it comes…

I had gone over various approaches during the torturously slow biology class where I had first encountered her. I could offer to help her get caught up in her studies. I could ask her to take a walk with me – I would show her the trails through the forest. Maybe just a quiet knock at the door, her confused expression as I introduced myself politely and apologized for being so rude earlier. If she would only allow me in long enough to explain myself…

No. No pleasantries. They didn't matter now. Not with her scent wrapping around me so completely like soft, urgent silk ribbons – dragging me towards the house. Another snarl passed my lips and my feet hit the short set of steps to her door. I twisted the knob – it was still slightly warm from her touch – locked. Without a thought my foot came up and slammed into the wood next to the bolt. Splinters covered the floor and the knob turned sideways before falling to the linoleum with a metallic thud.

"What the…"

She was in the kitchen. I didn't need her voice to tell me where the luscious scent of her burning blood was concentrated. My hand was in her hair, pulling her head to one side and exposing the throbbing artery in her neck before her eyes could even register another body in the room. I paused, focused on that throb, and took a long, deep breath. My knees actually felt weak as I licked my lips. Make it last…

"Edward?"

My eyes met hers. They were so deep, such a rich dark brown – and total silence behind them. I inhaled involuntarily, and her scent washed over me again. When my breath came back out, her eyes glazed over and I could feel the muscles in her shoulders give out, just a little. She held her breath.

"I...I...I'm sorry, Bella," I couldn't believe I was actually begging forgiveness for what I was about to do to her.

My stone body was suddenly up against hers, pushing her against the kitchen counter. With my free hand I braced myself against the counter's edge, behind her back. I felt her body shudder under my cold touch as she finally took a breath. I dropped my head down close to her throat, running my nose along her skin. Savor it…

"Edward," her voice cracked on the last syllable and I felt and heard her quick gasp. "What are you…?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper on her lips.

"Shhh…be still," I whispered back, my lips grazed her earlobe. "Please don't move. I don't want to kill you. Really, I don't. I just can't stop myself..."

My lips were on her neck again, the sweet throb of her quickened pulse met with the burning flow of venom as my teeth grazed against her paper-thin skin. No, not that way…

My hand slid through her hair, down to her neck, across her throat. She didn't move, her head still bent at that awkward, enticing angle. I raked the nail of my thumb across her skin, through the artery and her body jumped under my grip. The hot rush of her warm blood poured into my waiting mouth. She may have been screaming. I wasn't sure.

I had fed on countless humans during those years in my youth. I remembered well the taste, the ecstasy of their blood over my tongue. There was no comparison to the taste of her. It was warm, thick and sweet and when the hot liquid hit my throat the thirst was gone. Actually gone, for the first time since I woke up in from the change. No burning, no pain. Not so fast…

I was taking her blood in gulps. I had to slow down or she would be dead in seconds.

And when she dies, this blood will die with her.

There was no other blood like this. Once she was gone, it would no longer be within my grasp. But if I stopped now, she would heal. Her body would make more. The blood would replenish. I could drink again. The promise of more – it was the only incentive that could have caused me to stop.

My tongue slipped over the cut, sealing it.

The palm of my right hand rested on the small of her back, holding her against my body. The fingers of my left hand curled slightly behind her wounded neck. Her body was shaking in my hands. I hadn't noticed while I was drinking from her. I realized I was shaking, too. No – not me, just my pocket. Not shaking – vibrating.

I wasn't about to answer it. I knew exactly who it was and I knew approximately what she would have to say. A slow panic began to rise up, tingling across the skin of my chest and moving slowly outwards, down my arms and legs. I gripped the frail human tighter to me. I had to be gone before Alice figured out where I was.

I slowly moved my eyes to the girl in my arms. I didn't want to look – I didn't want to look down at her and see that I was too late – that I took too much.

Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was relatively steady. Her heart beat in a sluggish "thah-thum" that wasn't exactly a healthy sound, but also didn't cause me great alarm. I considered that she may have just fainted, and not passed out from the blood loss. Move…

I tossed her over my shoulder and carried her out through the broken doorway. I listened quickly for any potential witnesses, but Bella's neighbors were lucky today. None of them were outside when I carried the unconscious police chief's daughter into the woods behind her house.

I didn't make any true decisions – I knew the danger in doing so. For a few minutes, I just ran, changing directions randomly. I heard Alice's thoughts a few miles from me – in the direction of the Swan household and heading away from me. I turned with purpose, and headed across the highway in a flash. Soon enough, I came across the three-story Victorian that was our home.

I could hear Esme's thoughts in her study. She heard my footsteps, but wasn't alarmed. Good. Alice hadn't called her yet, but she would soon enough.

Even as my thought came to completion, I heard Esme's cell ring.

"Alice, how are…yes, he's outside," her voice was as clear as if she was standing next to me. Alice was a little more muffled, but clear enough.

"Don't let him leave!"

"Alice, what's going on?"

"Is anyone with him?" I never should have looked up, but I did. At the same time, Esme's pale face appeared in the window above the porch.

Through her mind, I saw my crimson eyes and the lifeless body across my back.

Dear God, no!

I didn't bother to listen any longer as I ran into the garage and tossed my burden onto the passenger seat of my silver Vanquish. A half second later, I was speeding away from my home, away from my family.

After we were several hundred miles from Forks, Washington, the panic of being caught by my family faded and was quickly replaced by panic over what I had actually just done. I had just fed from an innocent human and then kidnapped her so I could do it again. Again and again…

It had been more than 80 years since I had tasted human blood, and never before from someone like this. Always from the criminal, the evil minded – those I deemed deserving of such an act. Not like her. Of course, I had no idea what kind of mind lay behind her brown eyes, but it seemed highly unlikely that she was a murderer disguised as a teenage girl. Even if she was, I remembered Carlisle's disappointment from those years before. I remembered the shame he felt for me. I forced those thoughts from my mind. Whoever I was now, I wasn't the same person I was then. I wasn't even the person I was when I got to school today.

I thought about what had transpired since that morning.

When I dressed in the clothes Alice picked out for me this morning and sat in the driver's seat of my Volvo on the way to school my mind had been silent of my own thoughts. I was constantly so encompassed by the thoughts of others – my family, classmates, teachers – there just wasn't enough room for anything else anymore. I stopped trying to block them and just allowed it all to flow through me. I was slipping a lot – forgetting to answer just the words of humans, not their unspoken thoughts. Last week I found myself answering a teacher's question when the decision to call on me had been made, but before she had actually spoken the words. I knew I was making mistakes – I just didn't care.

Thoughts about the new girl surrounded me before we made it to the Forks High School parking lot. I didn't care if there was one more human in this town or one less, but thoughts of her, visions of her, fantasies of her filled my head until lunchtime. I had felt ever so slightly frustrated when I couldn't hear anything from her mind, but what shocked me the most was the realization that it had been my own feeling, not one I had picked out of someone else's head or one Jasper had pushed on me.

When her scent hit me in class I was suddenly and completely altered. I was no longer directionless. I knew exactly what I needed to do.

With the wind blowing across my shoulder and the highway speeding past, the new me began to plan. I needed an exact place to go, and it had to be a place Alice would not recognize and could not locate from random visions. I made a mental note of someone to call in a couple hours, when the time of day would be more appropriate on the other side of the world. Until then, I just needed somewhere remote. A hideout for just a couple of days until I could get us off the continent and somewhere safe enough to hide her for a long, long time. Hide and drink…my new favorite game.

I looked over to her unconscious form in the passenger seat. She hadn't opened her eyes in four hours, and had barely moved. I kept listening to her breathing and her heartbeat for any signs of distress, but hadn't heard anything alarming. All my original thoughts that she had just fainted instead of passed out were gone from my head, of course. I had tried to mentally calculate just how much of her blood I had taken at least a thousand times, but I had been simply too caught up in the moment. Two pints? More? Enough to change my eyes, that much was obvious. I had to be extremely careful with her. I couldn't risk anything happening to my blood supply.

She stirred in the seat, as she had several times over the past hour. This time a soft, strangled moan accompanied her movements. My hand left the steering wheel briefly to reach out to her, then quickly retreated. I shook my head and a quiet laugh escaped my lips. I wanted to reach over and touch her, to comfort her. Could I be any more ridiculous?

I let my eyes move over her instead. She lay on her side facing me, with her arms wrapped loosely around her knees on the reclined seat. Sometimes her eyes tightened and she would shift her position just a little and shiver. She shivered a lot. Of course, it was January, the car windows were down, and it's not like I stopped to grab her jacket on the way out, so I guess shivering made sense. I couldn't roll the windows up though – the scent was too intense, even though my thirst was completely and miraculously satiated – for the time being, anyway. The scent was still overwhelming. I opted to crank the heater, but it didn't seem to make enough difference.

Her breathing and heart rate changed abruptly and she gasped. I looked up to her face and waited for the screams to start.

Her eyes met mine but only for the very briefest of glances before she cringed slightly and looked away from me. She looked all around the inside of the car, then out the window into the dark. She curled her shoulders into her body and shivered again, wrapping her arms around her chest. She tucked her face into the arms and whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Bella," I spoke only as loud as necessary to be heard over the wind. I didn't want to scare her. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," she said quietly, automatically. She did not look up to meet my gaze. I laughed sharply.

"Fine, are you?" Another laugh. I couldn't help myself. What was going on in that head?

She cringed into the seat even more than she already was, like she was trying to make herself smaller.

"What do you want me to say?" Her voice was nothing but the faintest whisper now. If I had been human, I might not have heard it at all.

"I want the truth," I growled. I wasn't even sure why I was so intensely angry all off the sudden. It was so silent here, driving on the quiet Canadian highway, heading steadily northeast at 150 miles an hour. The thoughts of those we past went by too quickly to register and from this girl I got…nothing. I had to admit the emotions I felt were my own this time. Quite a change from yesterday's Edward.

"A little sick to my stomach," she mumbled into her arms. I saw her fingers reach up to her neck and rub the spot neat her carotid. "And cold," she added.

I looked down at my hands gripping the steering wheel and up my arms. I realized I still had my jacket, even if I hadn't taken hers. It wasn't heavy, but it was probably more useful than no coat at all. I leaned forward and slid my arms out, handing it over to her. She took it, and actually thanked me before wrapping it around herself.

"Where are we?" her voice was quiet, and still didn't hold the panic I kept expecting.

"Canada," I replied, still watching her and waiting for the screams to begin.

"Would it be ok if I…" she paused and wrapped her arms a little tighter, "closed the window?"

"No!" I snarled and she flinched. I took a deep breath. I hadn't meant to snap at her, it was just the thought of her scent becoming even more intoxicating than it already was. My throat was starting to itch, just a little. If I lost it now, I'd kill her quickly. I ran my hand through my hair. Stupid, nervous habit. She tucked her head back down into her chest and kept her eyes away from mine.

I tried to occupy my head with a list of things I needed to get for her - warmer clothes, blankets, boots. Did she need a pillow? She would need food and water, of course. Was she going to need medical attention? It occurred to me I hadn't really discovered out how she was feeling.

"I want you to give me a complete and accurate account of your physical well being," I said tersely, intending to leave no room for interpretation.

"Um," her head leaned back to the headrest. "I don't know, really. I'm tired and feel a little sore - achy."

"Where do you hurt?" I asked.

"Everywhere and nowhere in particular," she shrugged. "Maybe I have been sitting here too long."

"I can stop in Kelowna." I offer and then babble on for some unknown reason, "but not for long. I want to be in Yorkton before morning."

"Where is that?"

"The other side of Saskatchewan."

"Before morning?" she snorted. "Not unless you plan on driving a hundred…" My eyes darted over to hers and I could see them fixed on the speedometer, getting wider and wider before she abruptly squeezed them shut. "Oh my God…"

In another place, another time, her reaction would have amused me.

"My neck hurts," she whispered.

"That's not surprising," I said matter-of-factly.

"Edward," her voice was quiet again. "What's happening?"

I took in a slow, deep breath and let it out again. The fingers of my left hand pulled at the window controls and allowed them to come up half way, cutting down on the wind but still keeping her scent at bay.

"Bella – when you take a band-aid off, do you pull it off all at once or slowly?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer me!" Why did I keep snarling at her?

"Neither."

"Neither?"

"No – neither. I wait until I'm in the shower and let the soap and water dissolve the adhesive."

I laughed out loud. There was no way she could possibly make this any harder. She couldn't even help me out with the metaphor.

"I've been living a lie, Bella," I started to tell her, not having the slightest idea what was going to come out of my mouth next. I didn't see any point in lying to her. I'm going to hide you away from my family and yours and slowly drink your blood until I accidentally lose it someday and kill you. I hope that won't be for a long, long time because you taste really, really good. But the bare truth didn't seem very advantageous, either. My fingers were pulling through my hair again. I forced them to stop.

"I've tried to be something I'm not," I started again, "and I was faking it pretty well until you showed up in class today. When you walked in, I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to have you," my voice lowered a bit and I looked over to her. She was looking back into my eyes. After a long moment, she spoke and I felt my body go even colder.

"Are you going to do that again?" she asked. Her hand was back up on her throat, fingers pushing into the mark there.

I looked back to the road, unable to answer her. I could smell the warm, wet, salted tears flowing from her eyes, but I didn't dare look back at her again. My peripheral vision caught her pulling herself into a tighter ball and rolling to her other side, away from me. She stayed like that while I drove over the Canadian countryside and the moon slowly rose in front of us.

When we reached the lights of a small city I pulled up to a quiet shopping center. She jumped as the car jolted to a stop and looked out the window at the neon signs advertising check cashing services, manicures and tacos. I turned the ignition off and faced her again.

"Bella, I know there are some things I need to get for you," I stated. She wouldn't look at me. "I don't want you to be…uncomfortable," I couldn't believe such a word could escape me. "You'll need a coat, and a blanket, I think? What else do you need?"

She didn't respond or even turn towards me. I tried again, with a little more force this time.

"Bella, I'm going to take you inside that store there and get you what you need," I said. "I know this is going to sound utterly ridiculous but please try to see past that. I don't want to scare you, really – I don't. I can take you inside this store and get you anything you want, but please don't get ideas about escaping from me. If you try to expose us I will have to kill anyone who believes you. If you try to run I will catch you. Besides you are weak right now and probably couldn't even escape a human kidnapper right now, let alone me."

She whimpered again.

"I really don't want you to end up hurt and I doubt you want to watch me slaughter a store full of people so please, please don't try anything."

I didn't wait for a response this time. I reached over her and grabbed a pair of sunglasses from the glove compartment and got out of the car. I went around to her side of the car as quickly as I could without being noticed. The cold wind whipped around the building and blew gusts of powdery snow around my feet. She tried to get out of the car, refusing to take my hand for assistance, and began to fall as soon as her shoes hit the pavement. I caught her easily, and set her back on the seat.

"Dizzy," she breathed. Her heart was beating harder – trying to get more blood to her brain. I had taken too much from her. I licked my lips, the memory hitting me rather suddenly. Worth it…

I considered the warning I had just given her and laughed out loud. Escape me? She couldn't even put one foot in front of the other. What a waste of my wasted breath. As long as I drank from her regularly, she couldn't even attempt to get away. I laughed again. How many times had laughed since taking her away? How many times had I laughed in the ten years before I had taken her away?

I didn't have to concern myself with her wandering off, but I wasn't too fond of leaving her alone in the car, either. Time for Plan B…

I looked around the parking lot. A group of young men stood outside a convenient store, smoking cigarettes, spitting and making comments about my car in Spanish. I called over to them in their own language.

"I could use some help, if you have the time."

All three approached, but the biggest one came up closest. Before he could continue with car compliments, I stopped him with a handful of $100 bills and a shopping list. His eyes got wide.

"I will double that amount when you deliver it," I added.

Within twenty minutes I was back on the road with Bella wrapped in a warmer coat and blanket. On the floor by her feet was a cooler of drinks and a bag full of take out Mexican food. I doubted it was the very best thing for her, but there wasn't a lot of choice at the moment. I'd try to increase the nutrition levels as soon as possible. I needed her body to be strong and healthy. There was a bag in the trunk with a few other items I thought could be useful later.

She sipped a cola and nibbled nachos and cheese sauce while facing the car door. I saw her test the handle, as if I would just let her throw herself out of the car. Tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

"Bella," I started, not knowing what I was going to actually say to her. Stop crying? That was bound to be effective.

"What are you going to do to me?" She cried out suddenly, loudly – almost violently. Bella looked up into my eyes and tried to choke back her sobs.

I didn't know what to say to her. Again, the whole truth and nothing but the truth didn't seem to be the best answer. Lying to her was pointless, at best. Half-truths it is, then.

"I don't know exactly," I stared back at her. "I haven't decided on the details. We'll probably stay in whatever hotel is available until tomorrow night. Then we'll go on to a little place I know up north until I can get us out of the country."

"Why?" She was quiet again. I wondered if she scared herself with her outburst.

"Because your blood is the sweetest thing I have tasted in a century," I said, giving up on subtlety. "Once wasn't enough. Twice won't be enough. I need to take you somewhere where my family won't find us and I will be able to…"

Her arms covered her head and loud, choking sobs racked her body. I stared straight ahead again, memorizing the imperfections in the double yellow lines.

"Please," her voice cracked. "Please take me back home."

"Sorry, Bella," I said. "You won't be going back there again." There wasn't any point in an explanation. It didn't change anything. Her cries weren't going to trump my selfishness. She couldn't beg me enough to reconsider my actions. Nothing could make me relinquish this gift I would take for myself over and over again. All for me…

So much for being a gentleman.

AUTHOR'S END NOTES:

It's been forever since I've even logged into FFN, and I really miss all of you! This is currently labeled as a WIP, but as many of you know, it's all written. Leave me a review, tell me if you want the rest, and I'll continue to get the chapters re-formatted and posted here when I'm able, hopefully at least once a week, until it's done. There are 35 chapters altogether.

Reminder – no puppies or rainbows here. I also can't guarantee it won't get kicked off again. :)