Hide and Drink – Epilogue: Love and Live

I lifted Bella into my arms and carried her through the doorway of the cabin in Leaf Rapids, Manitoba. The sun was shining, and it was relatively warm, though still cooler than it had been when we left Forks. I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed the simple gold band on the third finger of her left hand, feeling my entire body tingle. The ceremony had been short, simple, and performed by a justice of the peace. Alice was infuriated, but Bella promised we'd have a grand ceremony in a few years, when we were married again. It appeased my sister to a degree. At least she didn't remove any vital parts from my body.

"You're such a romantic, Mr. Cullen," Bella said, blushing and smiling at me. I kissed her lips softly, and then moved up her jaw to her ear. "Now I wish I had taken Alice up on her offer to shop for a wedding dress."

"No way," I said, nipping at her ear with my lips. "If you had done that, she'd have you in Paris right now, interviewing a dozen designers. Maybe next wedding. I thought you looked perfect in your jeans and T-shirt, personally."

"Not near as good as you did in your khaki's and stripped button down!" Bella's fingers traced over the collar of my shirt, while her teeth captured her bottom lip.

Not able to wait any longer after the extensive drive, I leapt from the doorway to the couch in one jump, cradling Bella in my arms so she wasn't jostled too much. I hovered over the top of her, my lips at her neck.

"Are you going to do it right now?" Bella asked with a giggle.

"No, I'm going to fuck you senseless first."

"Edward Cullen!" Bella exclaimed, laughing again. "I think you have been spending too much time with Emmett."

"I've spent decades with Emmett," I reminded her. "Undoubtedly, it has been way too much time."

I kissed past her neck and down her shoulder, then held her arm out to the side and kissed down to her wrist. I kissed all up and down the finger with the ring on it, unable to stop smiling.

"You really like that, don't you?" Bella teased, wiggling her fingers in front of my eyes.

"More than you will ever know," I answered, meaning it. Seeing a ring on her finger and knowing that she was willing to tie herself to me in all ways possible gave my existence meaning. It was definitely worth my sister's wrath.

I abandoned her finger for a moment and reached down to the hem of her long-sleeved T-shirt, pulling it slowly over her head. She was wearing a blue bra, a color I simply adored next to her skin. I wasn't sure if she knew it or not, but I still had her little blue camisole inside my pillowcase. There had only been a few occasions recently when I was not able to lie beside Bella while she slept, but I would still hug the pillow when she was gone. Maybe that meant I was still a little nuts. Sue me.

Bella's fingers quickly made their way through undoing the buttons of my shirt, and then she pushed the fabric down over my shoulders. Her warm hands caressed the skin down the outside of my arms, then back up and over my biceps. I twisted my hands behind my back, balled up the garment, and threw it off into the corner. I placed a knee on either side of Bella's hips and popped open the button on her jeans.

"I meant it, you know," I said slowly, lowering my voice and leaning down to lick over the edge of her ear.

"Meant what?"

"That I'm going to fuck you senseless."

A little sound escaped Bella's throat and made my already throbbing erection just a little bit harder. My lips trailed across her throat and then down between her breasts. I dipped my tongue onto her navel and then swirled around it. Bella squirmed under me, giggling as I tickled her stomach with my mouth.

I dropped the zipper of her jeans down, tugging gently until they slipped over her ankles, and then tossing them on the floor. I planted open mouthed kisses over the edge of her panties from one hip to the other. Her fingers tangled in my hair, and I looked up into her glorious eyes. She was smiling at me and biting into her lower lip. Her fingers pulled through my hair as she pushed it back off my forehead.

"You're so pretty," she said. "I know that's not supposed to be right for a guy, but you are."

"Just don't let Emmett hear you say that," I told her. "I'd never hear the end of it."

"He's just jealous," Bella scoffed. "I thought you were the most beautiful the first time I saw you."

"No one compares to you," I said. I crawled back up and kissed her mouth. She opened to me, and I slid my tongue against hers. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, then dropped down my back and into the waistband of my khakis. I rose up a little when she maneuvered one hand around to the front. Bella quickly released the buttons and pushed the pants off my hips. Working its way into my boxers, Bella's hand wrapped around my length, and she stroked slowly down to the base and then back to the tip, her fingers tracing the edge of the foreskin. I moaned into her mouth.

"It feels so good when you do that," I said. "It is almost as good as when I am inside of you."

"Nothing feels better than when you are inside me," Bella said, her voice distorted from her heavy breaths. "Please..."

"Patience," I said with a smile. "I'm going to make you scream my name first."

Bella moaned at my words, and I reached around her back to unhook her bra. I pulled it down her shoulders and arms, dropping it next to the growing pile of clothing on the floor. I marveled at her perfect breasts long enough for Bella to touch under my chin with her finger to make me look at her face. She smirked at me, and I shrugged, not making an effort to hide my fascination with them. I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered my head and reached out with my tongue, slowly circling one nipple, then the other.

Bella shivered at my cool touch on her sensitive flesh, and I reached up to cup one breast in my hand, stroking across the hardened peak with each fingertip while my lips and tongue manipulated the other nipple. After a minute, I switched, and Bella's hands tightened on my hair, holding my mouth to her chest. As if I really needed the encouragement.

"Please, Edward..." Bella whispered as she let go of my head and pushed at my boxers. I released her nipple, stroking each tip quickly to make sure they were even, and then helped her free my erection from the fabric. Bella wasted no time pulling her panties down her long legs, wrapping her calves around my waist and pushing up against me.

"Eager, beautiful girl?" I teased. I pushed back off of her, easily escaping the clutch of her legs. I smiled to myself, realizing that soon she would be strong enough to keep her grip on me. I was looking forward to it. I directed my body backwards and over the arm of the couch, pulling Bella along with me by her hips. The soft skin of her legs met my hands as I wrapped my arms underneath her backside and dropped to my knees at the edge of the couch. I towed her body to align it with my mouth, and immediately plunged my tongue onto her depths.

The taste of her here was still one of the most exquisite flavors in the universe, as far as I was concerned. I would have happily stayed right where I was for the better part of the next year, if she would let me.

"Edward! Ugh...uhhhhh...!" Bella cried out, partially sitting up on the couch for a moment before collapsing back onto the cushions. I ran my tongue in a circle inside of her before pulling it out and stroking it up to her clitoris. Looking up over my lashes, I could see Bella's arms extended out over her head, almost touching the other end of the couch with her fingers outstretched. Gorgeous.

I pushed the top of my tongue flat against her and rolled it slowly around as she shook under my touch. When her orgasm subsided, I stood up at the end of the couch and dove into her with one quick thrust of my hips. I was home again, and it felt like I had never left. As much as I wanted my own release, I still preferred watching Bella. I pulled all the way out, then inserted just the tip of my penis into her, stroking in shallow, quick movements several times before thrusting hard all the way in.

Bella cried out and writhed under me, her hands reaching up and grasping my wrists, trying to pull me closer to her. I looked down at her and slowly licked my lips. She moaned, released my wrists and tossed her head back.

I dragged back, all the way out, and then repeated the shallow strokes again. After a few of them, I pushed all the way in, pulled most of the way out, and then pushed all the way in again once more before pulling out completely. Bella whined and struggled, pushing her hips into the air and trying the keep me from pulling out. I grinned down at her, enjoying the reaction.

"You are driving me insane!" she cried, her hands digging into the couch cushions below her.

"That's the idea, Mrs. Cullen," I smirked again.

I continued the pattern of slow, shallow strokes followed by an increasing number of deep penetrations until I felt her body clench around me and she screamed. I slid all the way in, holding myself against her as her orgasm overtook her body. I reached down and brought her body up close to mine, kissing her deeply before lowering us both to the floor. Keeping my hands firmly on her hips, I tilted backwards until I was lying down with her straddled on top of me. I raised her up a little, and then back down over my penis.

"You feel so good," I said. "I could stay right here for eternity."

"Hmm..." Bella moaned. "You just might get your wish."

Bella took over the pace, slowly raising herself up and lowering herself back over me. The slow rate was agonizing, and it was my turn to struggle under her. She leaned back, changing the angle of the pressure, looking down at me with a suddenly mischievous expression. Her hands left my stomach and slowly ran up her torso. She gripped her own breasts, pulling her nipples taut and moaning my name.

"You will be the death of me," I groaned, pushing up with my hips. I reached up and covered her hands with my own, finding myself jealous of her fingers and the way they were pulling at her nipples.

Bella hummed my name again, looking at me through hooded eyes and playing with herself until I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Mine," I growled as I pushed my hands under hers and pinched lightly at her nipples. Bella stroked over the tops of my hands softly before pushing them down her body to rest back on her hips. She leaned forward, rocking against my pubic bone and gasping. Bella's muscles clamped around me and her body shuddered as she let out a low groan. I pushed up with my hips as hard as I dared, tugging her down to me at the same time.

"Bella!" My strangled cry filled the room as I felt the sensations flood through my body. Bella's head dropped down to my chest, and I gathered her up in my arms. I kissed the top of her head, holding her close to me for a couple of minutes before I flipped her over on to her back, and pushed inside of her again.

"Not done with you yet," I murmured into her ear. I slid in and out of her slowly at first, and then increased my speed, eventually picking her up and lowering her over the arm of the couch, on her stomach before plowing into her again. I moved as fast as I could without hurting her, judging her reaction to my deep thrusts and adjusting the angle and pace as needed. Bella moaned, panted, and cried out my name as she came again, and the clenching muscles inside her body brought me over the edge as well.

I lay my head down on her back for a moment, and then kissed between her shoulder blades. I stood, pulling out of her slowly, then slid my arms under her shoulders and knees and carried her to the bedroom.

"I think I'm senseless now," Bella said, snuggling against her pillow and drawing the blanket halfway up her naked body. "Consider your mission accomplished.

"It's a good thing you told me," I said with a smile. "I was about to start all over again."

"I think I may need a few minutes…or hours..."

"Soon you won't need to take all these breaks," I reminded her. "We could see how many days in a row we could keep this up. I bet Emmett and Rose have some sort of record we could beat."

"I don't know," Bella said. Her cheeks suddenly flushed and she looked away from me. "You might not want to after I'm turned."

"Why in the world would you say such a thing?" I asked, a little upset she would consider such a possibility.

"What if you don't like the way I feel?" Bella asked. "I won't be warm and soft anymore, and I won't smell the same. Maybe you won't want me as much."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said.

"I'm not," Bella insisted. "I won't be the same. You might not like it the way you do now."

"There are things I may miss," I admitted. "Your blush and the sound of your heart beating, but those things are nowhere near as important as having you with me."

I took her face between my palms and looked into her eyes.

"You will always be my Bella. You'll just be a little less fragile."

"My blood will be gone," she said matter-of-factly. "If the synthetic protein stops working for some reason…"

"Bella, it doesn't matter, because I couldn't do it anymore anyway." I looked over, but there was nothing in her eyes that told me she wanted to hash through all this again, so I relaxed. "It was too hard on you, which made it hard on me."

"I would do anything for you, Edward," Bella said with a smile. She reached up and pushed some strands of hair off my forehead. "You know that."

"I think I understand that now, yes."

Bella reached up and placed her lips against mine softly, and I closed my eyes, basking in her closeness. She kissed over my jaw and down my neck, finally resting her head on my shoulder.

"I love you," I told her. "But even saying that…the word is so inadequate. I wish there were words to truly express the depth of my feelings for you. You are my salvation."

"And you are my everything," Bella told me. "That's what makes this so right."

. . . . .

"I'm going to hunt," I said, kissing Bella softly on her lips. "It seems prudent."

"In those?" Bella raised her eyebrows at me, looking down at the Sponge Bob pants I wore.

"Why not?" I asked, grinning. "It's not like I'm going to catch a chill, and I don't think there's anyone out here concerned about my fashion sense."

"You're adorable." Bella smiled a bright, glorious smile that made my insides feel like they just dropped down to my feet.

"And you are beautiful," I replied. "I'll be back soon."

"Do you really need to?" Bella asked, looking into my eyes. I had just hunted the night before, and she knew it. "Alice's visions…"

"I know," I responded. "Alice says everything will go fine, and that hasn't changed for weeks now. That's the only reason she hasn't ripped one of my limbs off about the wedding – she knows there will be another one. I just think it would be best to take all possible precautions."

"You're always good at overkill," Bella chuckled. "You've tasted my blood plenty of times, and have always stopped."

"Not for a long time," I said. "I don't know how I will react. For the record, I'm going to try not to 'taste' you at all. I think that will make it easier."

I kissed her again.

"I'll be back soon," I promised again.

Warm breezes greeted me outside the cabin, and I walked across the field in the back and jumped the lake. I traipsed through what used to be a stand of trees but was now a stand of…well…holes in the ground where trees used to be. I felt a little internally embarrassed as I remembered the temper tantrum that led to the downfall of this particular patch of nature.

Being back in this place was evoking many memories from my first few weeks with Bella, and I wasn't sure exactly what to do with them. Some of them were nice – watching old movies with her, and just watching her read books, her intense eyes staring enraptured at the tiny screen in her hand. In other ways, the memories were horrific. I was reminded of what I had done to her, and especially the way she had felt – believing I was going to violate her in ways I still considered unimaginable.

I was an idiot.

I probably continued to be one, but at least now I was a forgiven idiot.

As memories of the things I had done – taking her from her home against her will, tying her down, forcibly taking her blood, murdering innocent people trying to help her in front of her eyes and behind her back – flooded through my brain, I had to stop a moment and crouch down, wrapping my arms around my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe normally. After a few moments, I steadied and stood up again, continuing my search for prey…

…I dropped the bloodied carcass of a grizzly at my feet and wondered how I got where I was. I sighed, shaking my head and chuckling to myself. The gaps in my memory probably should have bothered me more than they did, but I considered them a small price to pay.

The more I contemplated my misfortunes, the more I considered them not only fitting, but probably only barely in the realm of justice. After everything I had done to Bella, my family, and the populace at large, I deserved a much worse fate. I forgot things sometimes, but not all that often. It only bothered me when I forgot something important to Bella, and she had become quite adept at reminding me of those important things more than once to increase my chances of remembering. I hadn't really screwed up in months, not since completely forgetting to attend a mid-term exam for a world politics course. I talked my way into taking it later with a doctor's note from Carlisle.

Bella and I had attended the community college in Port Angeles for a year. She wanted to be near her father for a while longer so she could make sure he was happy with his new wife and his life on the reservation. We lived in the cabin, and he visited us a few times. I managed to dodge any questions about why I didn't accompany Bella on her visits to La Push, and he never had any thoughts of deception. Bella and I took all the same classes, and I still managed to pull off a three- five grade point average. Bella had straight A's. If I hadn't taken that damn statistics class with her, I probably could have done the same.

But like I told Newton, I got the girl. Small price to pay, if you asked me.

I wasn't perfect, but I didn't care. Bella didn't seem to think any the less of me, which is all that really mattered. Alice saw frequent visions of our future, and when I invaded her mind with my gift, Bella always looked happy, which is all I ever wanted. The irony of the situation was never lost on me, though. I was the aggressor in the beginning of our relationship, yet she was the one who survived intact.

I strolled back into the opening of the sliding glass door and saw Bella devouring the last of a half-gallon of Moose Tracks ice cream. I smiled and shook my head. Last week she had claimed it was the only food she would miss, and when I panicked and told her I couldn't go through with it – she would lose too much – she smacked me. It hurt her hand, so she switched to yelling at me instead. She was so cute when she got really angry like that, I had to give in. I would give her anything she wanted, and she knew it.

"You've got chocolate on your nose," I said with a smile.

"Do you want to lick it off?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at me.

"I'm not so sure about the chocolate, but I'd be happy to lick a little lower."

Bella giggled.

"If you start with that, we're going to be here for a month." She stood up, tossed the empty carton into the trash and washed off the spoon. "I guess I won't need to do dishes anymore, huh?"

"Bella…"

"I'm not regretting anything, Edward," she said before I could really begin my sentence. "I'm just…making realizations. I hate doing dishes, so this definitely falls into the positive category."

I watched her dry the spoon carefully before dropping it back into the drawer. She opened the refrigerator door and peered inside for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Okay," she said softly. "I'm ready."

"It's time," I said, immediately regretting my choice of words when her eyes flew up to mine and widened. I tried to keep the panic welling up inside of me from showing on the outside. I took a deep breath and started to stammer out an apology when she stopped me.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she said with a smile. "I'm not in the middle of a chapter this time."

I reached out and took her hand, silently leading her into the bedroom where I kissed her forehead before lying her down on the bed.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked. That made two completely stupid remarks out of my mouth in as many minutes. Even if she was comfortable now, it wasn't going to last.

"I'm good," she said, allowing me another transgression without recourse.

I crawled in beside her and leaned over her upper body, stroking her cheekbone with my thumb.

"Are you sure you want this?" I asked her. "This is your last chance to change your mind. There is no turning back later."

"I'm sure, Edward," Bella said, her hands running up into my hair. "I never would have considered it until Carlisle found a cure, but now that I know you are okay, I am sure of what I want."

"I'm so afraid for you," I whispered into her hair. "The thought of seeing you in pain…"

"It's temporary, sweetheart."

"It will seem like an eternity," I told her. "For both of us."

"And when it's over, we will have eternity, so it is worth it."

"I'm not," I gave her a half smile. "But apparently I am still ultimately selfish."

I held her in my arms, kissing her gently and feeling the heat of her lips against my skin as we lay casually on the same bed where I took her blood against her will. She wanted to be here, in the place where I first understood her importance to me. In a twisted way, it made sense. It was here I realized I could not be without her, and it was here where I would make her mine forever. The remote location made the chance of coming across humans slim, and we could be alone. Carlisle wanted to be here, as did Alice and the others, but Bella insisted she wanted us to be alone, and Alice's visions continued to confirm our success.

"Are you afraid?"

"Yes," Bella said softly. She shivered under me.

"I'll stay by your side the whole time. I won't leave you alone, not even for a moment."

"I know."

"I love you," I whispered against her ear.

"I love you," she repeated. "Always. Forever. Please, do it now."

I took a deep breath, inhaling the incredible draw of her incomparable blood for the final time. Venom flowed into my mouth, coating my teeth, and for the first time I did not swallow it back. My fingers graced over the skin of her neck, pushing her hair back across her shoulder. My eyes darted to hers.

"Forever," I said softly as I sank my teeth into her throat.

So much for death.

~The End~

Chapter End Notes:

"Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!

Sleep well - Boobward and Bella are happy with how everything turned out. I promise!

Hopefully, this has answered all of your remaining questions. If not, feel free to stop by my reader's group on facebook (link on my profile) and ask whatever you like!

Again, thank you all for such a warm welcome back. I'm still working on Sin in the Grey (new chapter later tonight!), so please stick around and let me know what you think of the new story! I'm still struggling with writing in general, and hearing your feedback is quite literally the only thing keeping me going,

Much love to you all!

Shay Savage