a/n: hey everyone! I'm back with a short story. I've read a lot of fanfiction about Jane having nightmares about the events of ZIP, specifically in 4x12, but I haven't seen one where Kurt gets the nightmares so I thought I'd write one.

I'm still new to writing and I'd love any feedback but please keep it constructive :)

Also any medical mistakes are entirely my fault, there's only so much google can do.

Disclaimer: I do now own any of the characters. They all belong to Martin Gero, nbc, and Warner Brothers Production.

Lost without you

Jane had been in the hospital for a little over a week and they were finally letting her go home. Her eyesight had come back and her body had regained function. She was still weak but all she really needed was some rest and TLC. The doctor came in one last time before letting them go on their way.

"Alright Jane, Rest. Rest is the key. Make sure you're eating healthy and staying hydrated as well. Take it slow the first few days, there's no need to go on a mile run tomorrow." The doctor explained.

"Thank you for everything." Jane said.

The doctor smiled before exiting the room to attend to other patients. Jane looked at Kurt who was smiling. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"What?" Jane chuckled.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're okay." Kurt said walking toward her and planting a quick kiss on her lips.

Jane blushed smiling.

"Well are you ready to go?" Kurt asked.

"I thought you'd never ask" She sighed.

The two left the hospital hand in hand. Jane was going stir-crazy and was excited to leave and sleep in her own bed.

The car ride home was filled with chatter. They couldn't stop talking about what they would do next.

"You know, we should take a trip somewhere!" Kurt suggested.

"That actually sounds really nice." Jane agreed. "Where are you thinking?"

"I don't know. Maybe Paris." He said.

"Ooh la la." Jane responded.

She looked over at Kurt who was laughing.

"I guess Paris it is." Kurt confirmed.

The couple had finally arrived home. Jane walked into the apartment taking in the familiar smell. She hung up her jacket and sat her bag down.

"Mmm I'm starving." She said as she heard her stomach growl. "What should we order?"

"How about I make something." Kurt offered.

"Ok. While you do that, I'm going to take a shower." Jane said before making her way into the bedroom.

Kurt got to work making dinner. Jane entered the bedroom and just looked around. Everything was right where they left it. Jane walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower before undressing herself. When she stepped into the shower, she stood there letting the water fall on her achy body. A few moments later she busied herself with washing her hair and body.

Once she stepped out she stood in front of the mirror, noticing how gaunt she was. She only started eating a few days ago as her body rejected food before. Taking a deep breath she went into the bedroom to put on a hoodie and sweatpants and met Kurt in the kitchen.

She came out just in time. Kurt was taking out the food and placing it on the counter.

"That smells so good!" Jane sniffed.

"It's your favorite vegan lasagna." Kurt said with a huge smile plastered across his face.

They both put a piece on their plates and sat at the table. As they ate, they talked some more about their possible trip to Paris.

When they were done, Jane helped Kut clean up and wash the dishes. They settled on the couch and watched a movie. Jane ended up falling asleep 20 minutes in so Kurt paused it and carried her to bed before joining her.

Kurt was having trouble falling asleep as he was tossing and turning for the last few hours. He finally managed to sleep but woke up soon after, realizing he was back in the hospital. Jane was lying in the bed hooked up to a bunch of machines.

All he heard was the steady beat of the monitors. The doctor had just left telling him Jane was in critical condition and her organs were shutting down at a faster pace than they expected.

Kurt decided Jane wasn't waking up anytime soon, so he left to use the restroom and get a coffee.

As he was walking back, he heard some machines go off. At first he didn't think it was Jane until he saw a bunch of medical staff running into her room.

"JANE!" Kurt yelled as he took off running to her room.

One of the nurses stopped him at the door.

"I'm sorry but you have to wait out here." She said.

Before Kurt could protest, the nurse closed the door and pulled down the blind. Kurt was completely shut out and didn't know what was going on. He had no choice but to wait, knowing something was seriously wrong or else the nurse wouldn't have made him wait outside and close the blind.

All he could do was pray that everything was going to be okay. It had to. Jane was the strongest person he'd ever known. Her resilience was one of the things he loved most about her.

Back in the room, Jane had another seizure that caused her to go into cardiac arrest. The nurse did chest compressions while the doctor set up the defibrillator.

"CLEAR." He announced before bringing the paddles down.

"Another round of epi." He called as a nurse continued compressions.

"CLEAR." He said once more.

"Let's go, another round. I'm not losing her." The doctor grunted.

The nurses just stood there.

"NOW!" He barked.

"She's asystole." One of the nurses said looking at the heart monitor.

"NO." the doctor cried as he hopped up continuing compressions.

"C'mon Jane." He said between breaths. "C'mon."

"Doctor Highland… She's gone." another nurse stated.

He slowed compressions before stepping down. He checked her pulse before declaring a time of death.

"Time of death, 6:43." he announced.

He shut off the machines, preparing to give Kurt the news.

The team headed out but Doctor Highland stayed. Kurt jumped up as he emerged from the room. He gave Kurt a sad look before breaking the news.

"I'm sorry, Agent Weller. We did everything we could but Jane didn't make it." Doctor Highland choked out. "She had a seizure that caused her to go into cardiac arrest. We did compressions but weren't able to revive her. I'm sorry."

Hearing the news, Kurt broke down sobbing. He couldn't believe his wife was really gone. The doctor tried to console him but he pushed him away heading into Jane's room.

"I'll be back soon. Take all the time you need." Doctor Highland said.

Kurt ignored him, making his way to Jane's bedside. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his face as more tears poured down his face. He let out a sobbing scream before waking back up.

He was back in their bed and he immediately looked at Jane who was woken up by Kurt's scream.

"What's going on." Jane said frantically looking around.

Kurt didn't respond. He just sat there crying.

"Oh Kurt." Jane whispered.

She scooted closer and took him in her arms. "Shhh… It's ok baby. Just let it out."

Eventually Kurt's sobs died down to a soft whimper.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jane offered softly.

Kurt hesitated before answering.

"You… you died." Kurt said more tears started to fall down his face."Your heart sto...stopped and they couldn't bring you back."

"Oh Kurt." She whispered, her heart breaking for him. "I'm right here and I always will be."

She maneuvered his head so it was lying against her chest, his ear over where her heart was. She made sure he could hear her heartbeat, reassuring him that she was alive. Kurt lied there listening to the rhythmic beat of her heart.

"I love you." He said before falling asleep.

"I love you too." She responded.