2I wrote this a little while after I lost my kitty, and decided to post it as a promise that yes, I am coming back. Wish I could've written something in time for the 10-year anniversary. In the meantime, here's this.
Miss you my handsome boy 3
Lloyd knew it had happened a month after Emperor Garmadon's defeat. The city was still wrecked, but there wasn't rubble strewn everywhere. Injuries had been treated, though some had yet to heal, and the citizens of the city were starting to resume their everyday lives.
The ninja, on the other hand, were trying to resume their everyday lives. It was a slow process. Everyone was alive, here, and well enough for the time being, though Lloyd and Nya kept on grabbing Kai's hands like he would be whisked away on the slightest breeze. Lloyd had lost his father, again, and possibly in a worse way. Jay, Cole, Kai, and Zane still jumped at shadows, and tended to severely overuse what now remained of their sunscreen supply. Even the supposedly sunburn-immune nindroid slathered cream over himself before stepping anywhere outside. Master Wu often had distant looks on his face, and had brought out his childhood katana again, but… they were healing. Slowly.
It was at two am, one of the nights when the shadows crept forth from Lloyd's closet and entered his mind, pulling and jostling until he finally leaped out of bed because he couldn't stand thinking anymore! Hurrying for the kitchen, and a soothing glass of water, he stopped short when he saw light already painting shadows on the new wall of the Monastery hallway.
From the silhouettes Lloyd could tell Zane and Kai were in there, and there was a hulking mound overlapping Zane's shadow that might be Cole. Jay's voice filtered into the hallway.
"We've waited too long already…" Lloyd crept closer, not wanting to interrupt something private. This little gathering seemed more purposeful than a collective freak nightmare attack. Zane's voice responded.
"Telling him now may cause irreparable damage, reversing everything we've managed to fix this last month." Zane was saying, sounding very upset with his own words.
"The kid deserves to know!" Jay snapped. "Kai, back me up here." The spiky shadow that was Kai's hair disappeared for a moment as he held his head in his hands.
"I don't know." He hissed. "I still can't believe it myself!"
Cole's shadow slid across the wall, and Lloyd heard the sound of running water before he returned. "Guys, we have to. I… I needed to know when my mom… left, and…" Cole's hesitant voice is cut off as Zane interrupts.
"We do not even know if it was Ultra, in a few weeks-"
"How dare you Zane." Kai growled bitterly. "I would recognize Flame anywhere!"
"I am simply suggesting…" Lloyd didn't need to hear the rest. He threw himself against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. Of course. It all made sense, and Lloyd realized he'd known, somewhere deep down, but…
Ultra was gone.
Really gone.
Somewhat in shock, the walls seemed only an illusion as Lloyd broke for the monastery courtyard. With a choking sob, he felt his eyes blaze, and the lightbulbs in the monastery flickered and died.
The others found him on a precipice some miles away, where he'd last seen his dragon before the portal opened. Sitting with his feet swinging over the edge, Lloyd kept his eyes on the cold night stars, even when he heard the others approach behind him.
"So, Ultra's gone…" Lloyd started, but he broke himself off, choking back a sob and unsure how to finish. It was all the others needed to hear anyway.
"Lloyd, I am so, so sorry," Kai said, sounding close to tears himself as he sat down next to his younger brother. The others followed suit, like a big blanket of brothers on either side of Lloyd. It helped stave off the chill, somewhat.
"I-I," Lloyd wanted to curse himself as tears began to fall, please don't cry, please don't cry, "why didn't you tell me?!" He finally burst out, holding in a whimper. The silence afterward was long and uncomfortable.
"We were going to, Lloyd," Jay finally said. Lloyd dared to turn and meet his brother's eyes, and when he did it caused both him and Jay to break down. "It-it's, this is the first," Jay took in a shuddering breath, wiping his eyes, "we haven't had much time to think until now." He said miserably.
Lloyd hiccupped, unable to form any sort of response. He didn't want to talk anyway. Leaning into Kai, he buried his face on the fire ninja's shoulder.
"We… it… they were only bones, Lloyd." Zane stuttered, and some distant part of Lloyd's mind was astonished to hear anything but smoothness in Zane's voice. "We, we have no real evidence…"
"I already knew, Zane!" Lloyd snarled, ripping himself away to glare at the nindroid. "You don't hafta make, make…" he sobbed again.
"How'd you find out?" It was Cole's voice, though through his tears Lloyd couldn't make him out beyond the reflection of the moon on his hair. The black ninja had been the quietest, and Lloyd could hear in his voice that nothing had really sunk in yet, no matter how long the others had been in the First Realm.
"Doesn't take a genius," Lloyd sniffed, taking the proffered tissue from Kai and blowing wetly. "I, well…" he gulped. "He didn't come back. Ultra would have come back."
"…and now it's real." Cole finished slowly, something like understanding in his voice.
"He's a freaking dragon!" Lloyd wailed. "He should have been okay! I should never…" he broke himself off. "I should never have let him leave." He repeated quietly.
"You couldn't have done anything." Kai said, gripping Lloyd's shoulders.
"Yes, I could've. S'my fault." Lloyd mumbled, watching the wind brush treetops far, far below his feet.
"No!" Zane admonished, taking Lloyd's hand in his own. "Lloyd, you didn't know. There was no sign of danger when he left!"
"It was a split-second decision!" Lloyd argued, somewhat with himself. "I could have thought about it for like, at least a minute!" He wiped his nose on his sleeve. "All I had to do was turn around and go home."
The other ninja were quiet at that. They knew, like Lloyd knew, and no one could think of an appropriate response.
"We-well," Jay chuckled nervously, "um, at least he went out doing something he loved?" The comfort was hollow, and Jay let the subject drop.
"A split second." Lloyd shuddered, taking a deep breath. "That's all it takes."
"No pressure." Kai huffed, starting when the others all gave him scathing looks. "I'm sorry, okay?" He growled. No one pursued the subject.
They were quiet for a long time, watching the moon set. Tears streaked down all their faces, but none had the courage to wipe them away. Finally, Lloyd started to shiver, from cold or shock he couldn't tell.
"Come on." Kai said softly, gently pulling him up. "Let's all get something to eat." Though no one much felt like it, he didn't receive any argument. As they stumbled back to where the ninja had parked the earth drill, Lloyd's hands shook, and the ground he walked on seemed to lie with every step he took.