AN: This fic is based on the issue I have with the final exam that the school gave the students before the Training Camp Arc. I think my opinions will be made BLATANTLY clear.
A REALLY Stupid Exam
"And that's how your exam will work. Any questions?" The cheerful voice of the small principal Nezu asked, waving at them from where he stood securely in Professor Aizawa's scarf, having just finished explaining the exam's rules and the teams.
"Please tell me you weren't the one to think of this exam sir, because it has to be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard. That or its just blatantly sadistic." Izuku deadpanned, the stupid of the exam managing to override his usual nerves as everyone turned to gape at him.
"M-Midoriya?!" Iida gaped at him in horror for daring to comment on anything academic in such a way.
"Oh? And what issue do you have with the exam Midoriya?" Nezu tilted his head as Izuku pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"You're dividing us up into groups of two to fight a pro. The Pro's are limited by the weights on their limbs that are half of their total weight. Do none of you see the problem here?!" Izuku demanded of the teachers who all looked at him blankly.
"…What do you mean little Listener?" Present Mic tilted his head blankly.
"I guess I have to break it down. Yayorozu, can you make me a white board really quick?" he asked, wondering if that would be possible without draining her too much before the exam. Apparently, it wasn't as she quickly gave him said tool and a marker.
"Where are you going with this nerd?" Bakugo demanded with a surly growl, although Izuku was pretty sure that was his default setting.
"Shut up and you'll see." He snapped back, not in the mood for more problems right now as he went to the board "Let's start with the one who that limitation actually makes at least some sense for. Aizawa sensei, your style revolves around acrobatics and your scarf, plus your quirk just makes it so others can't use theirs. For you, weights on your limbs would actually be a reasonable handicap although given I've seen you throw massive four-armed people made of rocks around easily I'm not sure that the imposed weight is enough." Izuku marked a tally under 'plausible' as everyone listened intently.
"Next, we have Principal Nezu." He nodded to the small mammal who was wearing his weight as a belt "Not only is your weight not on your limbs so they can move as easily as they always do, but you're also small enough that the weight wouldn't really be a hinderance. Plus, you already showed that your field is going to be full of industrial equipment such as cranes and wrecking balls. Given the teachers get to go in first you have no actual hinderance here and far too many advantages to make this a reasonable exam." Here, he put a tally under 'stupid'.
"Midnight, your quirk makes it so that you release knockout gas with the slightest tear in your hero costume. Weight doesn't stop gas!" another tally under 'stupid'.
"Thirteen, you just have to point your fingers to use your quirk so you could detain them easily or destroy their paths. Weight won't hinder your ability to point your hands all that much." Tally under 'stupid'.
"Present Mic, your screams can carry for absurd distances. From the maximum you've shown in villain fights you could stand at the gate of your arena and be able to hit Jiro or Koda from anywhere. Not to mention given Jiro's quirk is enhanced hearing one solid attack from you would likely leave her on the ground with her eardrums burst. Weight won't affect your voice." Another tally under 'stupid'.
"Ectoplasm, you can make over thirty clones which can fly. There's been no mention of your clones being hindered by the weights you yourself would. Overall, not a valid handicap." Another tally under 'stupid'.
"Snipe, your quirk lets you control the trajectory of any bullet you fire! And you have two guns! Sure, the weight might slow down your reloading but not enough to be a real problem and if you can control the bullets then you won't have to worry about any shot failing to count." Another tally under 'stupid'.
"Cementoss, you're a man who can control any cement you're touching with no limit to time or energy cost. And you're fighting in an area made entirely of cement. All you have to do is touch the ground and you have full control over the entire area. Those weights aren't a limit." Another tally under 'stupid'.
"Power Loader. You…have…a…MECH-SUIT! Weights won't slow down a mech that has its own engine!" Another tally under 'stupid'.
"And finally, All Might himself. All Might, a man who can punch so hard that he creates TORNADOES! A man who threw Nomu, a massive and clearly heavy individual, into the stratosphere! And you expect someone with super strength like that…to be slowed down by two hundred and fifty-five kilograms. THAT IS NOT A HANDICAP! Not to mention the team you set for that one. Aizawa, you mentioned interpersonal relationships, meaning it's because of how Kachan and I interact. Except I actually try to work with him while he refuses so all you're doing is punishing me here." Another BIG tally under 'stupid'.
"And even if you wanted to have us fight people instead or robots there are better ways you could have done so! You could have done better handicaps, such as limiting the number of bullets that Snipe sensei has, or how much Cement Cementoss has to manipulate, or how loud Present Mic is permitted to shout. You could have brought in various sidekicks from local hero agencies who are still pros but not as highly leveled to fight us. You could have used students from the second and third years! Why did none of you think of this?!" his rant finished Izuku, still panting, handed the marker back to a wide eyed Yayorozu "Thank you for helping me Yayorozu." He nodded to her, his usual cheerful smile back in place as everyone then turned to the stunned silent teachers.
"…This might not have been the most well thought out plan." Nezu finally admits.