I challenged my dear friend 'dgschneider' to come back to our fanfiction world again. She stopped writing nearly 3 years ago and still had 2 unfinished stories here and lots of amazing finished ones. You should look for her stories, they are beautiful. She challenged me to write something out of my comfort zone. So here is the result.
This story picks up in season 4 when Brennan asks Booth to donate sperm for a baby. There is no tumor in this story but there is some angry Booth and some really M stuff (angry Booth/ M stuff). That was my challenge. Don't know if I am successful here, that is for you to decide.
Booth glanced at the clear plastic cup in his hand and looked at the small label printed on the outside. There were some medical terms he didn't understand but two things stood out to him that could be read pretty easily.
DONOR: Seeley Joseph Booth
RECIPIENT: Dr. Temperance Brennan
A red flush covered his face, maybe because of what he just had done or maybe because of the embarrassment he felt knowing he had to give this cup with his ...stuff in it back to the nurse. She'd introduced herself as Naomi and showed him to the room. Handing her back the cup, knowing she knew what he'd had to do to fill it, it was embarrassing. Booth took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked in the direction of her desk.
Naomi was sitting behind the reception desk and, of course, because today was his lucky day, there were three more women sitting in the waiting area looking up with interest at the handsome man coming around the corner and the cup he was carrying. The white liquid at the bottom of said cup was clearly visible to everyone. He quickly folded his hand around the cup and cleared his throat to get Naomi's attention.
"Uhm, excuse me, where should I put this?" He wiggled the cup in his hand. Naomi looked up and turned to another nurse, standing at an open filing cabinet behind her desk.
"Lisa, can you take Mr. Booth's sperm donation to the lab so they can run their tests and prepare the sample for conservation in the freezer." Booth cringed. If they didn't know before everyone in the room knew exactly what he'd been doing now.
"Sure." The nurse named Lisa turned around and took the cup from Booth. She headed in the direction of the elevators but stopped to take a good look at the tall, good looking man in front of her. She was curious. Why would the woman, whose name was written on the label of the cup, prefer a sperm donation and conceiving a kid through artificial insemination instead of in the usual way with this hotty in front of her?
Lisa had worked at the clinic for many years. They had regular donors who come in monthly. They had husbands whose sperm count wasn't good enough to father a child so they artificially improved the sperm for insemination. They had wives who could not conceive a child because of health problems, so the insemination had to occur outside of the body. These were the kind of cases where there was a special donation in which the donor and the recipient knew each other.
She glanced down at the cup label and back up. They had women in a lesbian relationship who wanted to have a child, but they often didn't want to know the donor so that couldn't be the case here as both the donor and recipient were listed.
She was very interested to know more about this Dr. Brennan. How could she not use this fine species of man for the real deal? Why?
Booth felt the eyes of the nurses and all of the three women in the waiting area staring at him as he stood there his face crimson red and burning hot. Now he really understood the old saying that you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole.
"I think I am done here, right?" His words nearly stuck in his throat while he gave the receptionist a questioning look.
"Yes, Mr. Booth." She nodded. "Have a nice day!" She beamed at him. "Maybe we'll get to see you around here more often." When Booth looked both horrified and confused the nurse added. "The first insemination usually isn't successful."
He didn't answer that, just turned to leave. Truth to be told the thought hadn't crossed his mind. He'd been working under the assumption that this was a one-time deal. When he left the building he took a deep breath and swore to himself he would never step one foot in that building ever again. He absolutely had to talk to Bones about this. He would do anything for her, he would die for her, but even he had his limits. He ground his teeth and let out a heavy sigh.
Heading back to his car he already found himself walking back his decision to never return in his mind. Oh God, he thought, I hope I can keep the promise I just made to myself. Bones, she has her ways, she can make me do things, he glanced back over his shoulder at the clinic he just left shaking his head in disbelief, I just can't say no to her.
On his way back to the Hoover he remembered his talk with Cam earlier. Was she right about him? Would he really do anything for Bones? Did Bones really just wanted a piece of him, but only so far, that she just wanted his sperm?
He took a deep breath. Bones and he were friends, there was no doubt about that. That's exactly why he would do anything for her. But there had always been that tiny hope that someday they would be more than friends, more than just partners. It seemed obvious now that it was only him who really felt that way. She made it clear to him she didn't want any emotional bond between them. She obviously didn't want his heart, and what hurt much worse she didn't want his love. He scoffed bitterly, clearly, she didn't even want his body, that's why she decided to go through with this insemination.
He was in turmoil, he loved her, he did, and he wanted to help her but there was also the hurt he felt over her hard rejection. Not wanting him, not being the man she wanted to share a life with and raise a kid with, at least not together, in one home, as a family, he felt that deeply. He couldn't control the anger boiling up in him.
This would be another kid that he would only see at scheduled times. It felt like his chances of ever having a real family of his own were going down the drain. Who would even want a man with two kids from two different mothers, neither one of which wanted a life with him? What did that say about him? There must be something wrong with him. He gritted his teeth and slammed his hands on the steering wheel with full force. Why was everything always so complicated in his life?
When he arrived at his office the clinic was already on the phone with the results of his Semen Analysis. That was quick, he thought, letting out a heavy sigh. According to the doctor on the phone, his stuff was perfectly healthy and there was no reason the insemination would not be successful. Booth felt some relief over that. Maybe this would only take one try, no second trip needed. That was good. She asked him if he wanted to give the results to Dr. Brennan directly or if she should do it. He told her she could inform Dr. Brennan. The truth was he was not in the mood to contact Bones right away. He'd tell her later when he was ready.
When Sweets came to his office a little bit later he tried everything he could to not show him how he really felt about the whole situation. He even bragged about his sperm count and said that he had happily agreed to go along with the plan to have a baby together. He also told Sweets that he was not even slightly intimidated or stressed about the situation. The kid didn't need to know that he felt sick to his stomach over where all this was headed. It wasn't his business. It was between him and Bones.
The ride to the Bedford creek winery would take them nearly 30 minutes. He had picked up Brennan at the Jeffersonian and they headed out of town. It was the first time they were together after his visit to the fertility clinic and he couldn't help but feel a little awkward. They drove in silence for several minutes, hanging on their own thoughts. Booth was still a bit angry about the whole situation but how could he tell that to Bones without her doing something stupid like turning to Fisher for a donation.
Brennan was curious about what had happened in the clinic but she didn't want to ask him directly. She was twisting her hands because she didn't even know how to start the conversation. Letting out a long, deep breath she decided the best would be to just get straight to the point.
"Um, the clinic called me two hours ago." She looked straight forward to avoid the awkwardness of what she was about to say, catching a nod from him out of the corner of her eye. "They told me that your sperm count is of excellent quality…." 'I told you so, my boys can swim!' was on the tip of his tongue but he decided to say nothing…. "So you don't need to worry about that." She shifted in her seat, only to see him nod a second time, his eyes concentrated on the traffic in front of them, not even looking at her.
She looked back to her lap. "The sperm count and the volume of the sample is quite impressive!" She looked up but he was still looking out of the windshield of the car at the road. "They told me that males sometimes have problems getting an erection because they often feel self-consciousness doing it there in the clinic." She grinned. "But obviously you had no problems ejaculating, right?"
He turned to her in horror. "God, Bones, please don't tell me you want details!" He flushed. Bones would be the death of him someday, he was sure of it.
"Oh, you know, I'm just curious. I'm sure they have various stimulating pictures, masturbatory aids, magazines, or videos you can use to get into the mood, right?" She gave him a smug smile. She liked to tease him a bit. It was so easy to push all his prudish buttons and of course, she wanted every tiny bit of information he was willing to give.
Booth pinched the bridge of his nose. This woman was just too blunt sometimes. He cut her short. "I didn't need those things, okay." He shot her a glance that said, we're done with this conversation. Apparently, she got his message because she didn't push any further.
He scoffed inside. What would be her reaction if he told her what he'd really thought about there in the clinic. He absolutely didn't need any outside stimulation. All he had to do is recall some of the fantasies he'd had about her to get the job done.
In his fantasy, they were in a shower, all wet and slippery from the soap. He was passionately kissing her while pressing her against the wall, one arm holding her in place, the other hand sliding all over her gorgeous body. Her skin was so soft, she felt amazing. His hands caressing her full breasts, her nipples firm under his touch. His mouth wandering along her neck, sucking hard. Her long legs wrapped around his hips, holding him close to her body while he was thrusting into her with long, deep strokes. He was sliding along her jawline and then back kissing her lips, his tongue mimicking his thrusts into her welcoming body. In his mind, she came hard around his firm, throbbing length. Her walls contracting around him and he followed her shortly after, screaming her name ….in the real world he'd filled a plastic cup.
Later that day, he went with Brennan to Mr. Bedford's wife to ask her about the affair she had with Mr. Holt. Brennan told Mrs. Bedford that babies had the tendency to look like their fathers in the first year. That was the moment it hit him, really hit him, and he realized that this baby would have a deep impact on his life too. Even when Brennan denied it later in Sweets' office, Booth knew they would never be the same again.
He drove her back to the Jeffersonian after they left Sweets. Many unspoken issues were lingering between them making for a heavy feeling in the car. This time it was Booth who broke the silence first.
"You know, I was quite surprised when you told Sweets that the insemination would be so fast, I thought that we would have some more, you know, time." Because I need some more time to get used to the situation, he thought but didn't say. He turned to her, this time hoping to connect.
"I've thought this through, Booth." She stared at him. "So, why should I wait any longer than physically necessary?" He gave her a short glance but had to look back at the road again. She turned to look out of the window but kept talking. "Actually, I'm menstruating right now, so my next ovulation should be expected in around two weeks." She stated this as a fact like giving him information about case-related details.
"Bones!" He groaned and turned to her, his face flushed. "That is absolutely too much information!" He shook his head. "You really have no filter, you know that right?"
She turned to him. "Booth, I don't understand why you are so upset. I need to give you this information. When we are discussing fertilization we have to plan the exact day and to do that you have to know when I am menstruating and ovulating." She watched as his eyes fell shut momentarily and he took a deep breath, he was clearly frustrated with her. "I thought you wanted to be a part of it? " She gave him a questioning look. "Don't you want to know?"
"Of course I wanna know." He firmly gripped his steering wheel, trying not to show his temper. "But can't you say it a little bit nicer, less...scientific, like making a baby, our baby."
She looked down at her lap. Of course, he would think like that, it was Booth she was dealing with. "You are right, I will try to find some amicable terms for when we talk about our next steps, okay?" She looked back at him and he gave her a small smile.
"Thank you. I appreciate that." He cleared his throat. "The nurse in the clinic told me that I might have to come more often, I thought I'd only have to make one donation." He shifted in his seat. This whole conversation made him feel very uncomfortable. "You know, I felt very...there were a lot of people there, Bones, and it was, you know…
"No. I do not know."
"I'm pretty sure everyone knew what I was there for, you know, what I was ...doing there. They just kept staring at me." She still looked confused. "It was really awkward, Bones. I mean, I swore to myself that I'd never go back there again."
He turned to Brennan who was staring at him with wide eyes. "But Booth, I thought you knew that."
"How would I know that?" He was sounding exasperated which she could understand because she was feeling it too.
"Only 15% of artificial inseminations are successful in the first cycle. Surprisingly, the success rate of normal inseminations is similar." She took a hesitant breath. "There might have to be a second or third insemination if needed." She glanced at him, a little bit unsure if he would still want to help her conceive a child.
"God, Bones, second or third? Seriously? Isn't there another way to get this done?" He held her gaze for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the street again. "I really don't want to go there again."
Brennan stared out of the window. "Yes, there is another way …you have to make a direct deposit." She looked at him again unsure if he understood what she was talking about.
"What does that even mean?"
"When I'm ovulating, you can come with me to the clinic and while they prepare me for the insemination you can make a direct donation. When it is immediately used it doesn't need to be processed in a laboratory." She looked at his shocked face. "Booth, don't get me wrong, you don't have to be in the same room, you will get your privacy."
He shook his head vehemently. "No, Bones, that's just the same, so no way!" They arrived at the Jeffersonian but they didn't leave the car. He turned completely to her. "It has to be successful on the first try. It has to be."
They stared at each other, eyes locked, each deep in their own thoughts. Brennan didn't want to talk anymore about it at the moment. She hoped to convince Booth to continue to help her out later when the first try wasn't successful. He also didn't want to discuss it any further. It was already more than he could process. It was simply too much too fast and too overwhelming.
He took her hand in his to get her full attention. There was something else she needed to know that had to be clear before they went through with their plan. It was really important to him, he just wanted her to understand this one important thing.
"You know, I understand that you don't want to have any emotional interference or ties, but if you really wanted that then you should've picked some anonymous sperm donor from the bank." He locked eyes with her to make sure she was following his reasoning. "But this is you and me, Bones. That will be our baby. Like it or not, there will always be a tie between us, because we will share in this life we're creating. Even if we're not working together anymore, even if we aren't friends anymore, we will always be connected through this child." Holding her attention he asked, "You understand?"
She didn't answer, only looked at him with wide eyes and he could see her brain working overtime.
He continued. "I have told you, I am absolutely sure you will be a great mother, you will love your child, I know that." He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. "But Bones, I will love that child too. You have to understand that. I want to be involved, I need to be involved." He shot her another glance holding her gaze. "And I want to be part of every step, okay? I missed so much with Parker because Becca didn't want to be with me anymore. This may be my last chance. I need to be a part of this pregnancy, beginning to end."
He wanted her to understand that before went any further. She had to understand that it didn't matter how much she wanted to keep this all clinical and untouched by emotions, it would change things between them. She didn't answer and that was okay. He was okay with that. It meant she was thinking about it and that's exactly what he needed her to do. He would give her all the time and space she needed.
AN: What do you think of my story? Please let me know in a review, I appreciate that very much. Next chapter might be up in a week.