Well, I went and did it; chapter 3! Most likely the last I will do for this story.
I had no idea the Yagakimi anniversary was the day after Lesbian Visibility Day. Iconic. So even though it's a day late I have to post this now!
I rarely, rarely write stories of the nature of this chapter, but I felt I could comfortably accomplish it for a caring, genuinely sweet couple like Sayaharu. While not at all very graphic or descriptive, you may still want to consider it rated T+ or even MA, I suppose.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yagate Kimi ni Naru.
Saeki Sayaka's life changed forever in the spring.
The spring of her second year of university, to be exact.
When she'd first met Edamoto Haru, she'd never expected that the peculiar and rather awkward encounter of finding a girl crying outside the lecture hall building could turn into something that would alter her world forever.
The buds of their relationship had sprouted then, nurtured by a gentle curiosity and a mutual desire. Weeks after their first meeting, they were still seeing one another.
And then it became more than simply chatting at the students' center or walking to the gate together.
Soon it became visiting Haru's apartment for lunch, and then it become staying for dinner, and more than once it had become spending the night because they'd lost track of time and it had become too late for Sayaka to go home.
The buds had soon blossomed, kindled by the shared warmth they created between themselves.
Those first kisses at the pool, hidden beneath the water, soon transformed into more unabashed displays of affection. Soon, they no longer required the lowered boundaries brought on by alcohol in order to get their emotions across.
By the summertime, they were officially dating, or at the very least had made it known for certain amongst themselves and their closest friends. Family had come much later - not until winter.
Though Sayaka had an inkling from the very beginning that her grandmother had suspected something of her and this new colleague, as Sayaka had often referred to Haru as, her parents and grandfather had been none the wiser.
The first time Sayaka dared to allow Haru to come visit her house to pick her up for a weekend date had been undoubtedly one of the most challenging and nerve-wracking days of her entire life.
She'd sprung up the moment the door had rung and hurried to meet Haru at the front steps, and in the end had given only a brief and ambiguous introduction of Edamoto Haru to her family before grabbing her by the arm and dragging her off the property. She had later apologized to Haru for her behavior, and admitted she'd been more nervous about revealing their relationship than she'd initially thought.
And of course Haru had simply smiled and told her it was all right, that they could take their time, and she'd then proceeded to move the subject along to how massive and fancy Sayaka's house was.
They decided to ease Haru into the Saeki family's subconscious, so that the adults might come to a conclusion all on their own without it needing to be blatantly said.
They arranged for weekend dates whenever they could, and Haru came by to pick Sayaka up for them at least once or twice a month. Not to mention that Sayaka often called home to let them know she would be spending a night at Haru's apartment once or twice a week.
Through these tiptoed methods, they eventually became confident that they had conveyed their relationship to Sayaka's family, at the very least.
As for Haru's, she'd apparently called up her parents one day and declared, "Mom, college is the best thing that's ever happened to me! I have a girlfriend!" And it had been as simple as that.
Sayaka spent her autumn with Haru as well, perplexed by how drastically different their family situations were concerning the matter. But at the very least, there didn't seem to be any outright opposition, so there was no need to press things any further.
It was during the winter of that year when they really left no room for questions.
Sayaka's family typically had a small celebration on Christmas Eve, as it was one of the few days when both of her parents were off from work. After much discussion with Haru, Sayaka had decided to bring her along for the holiday that was very much indicative of romantic relationships.
It hadn't been as difficult as she'd originally imagined it might be. When the bell had rung and Sayaka had scurried out to bring Haru in from the cold, she had faced her family head-on and told them seriously.
"Everyone, this is Edamoto Haru. We've been dating for half a year now."
And of course her family members had all come to suspect as much by then, given how many hints there had been.
Initially, Sayaka had watched with dismay in her heart as her grandfather had excused himself from the room. But her grandmother had cast her a gentle glance before following after him.
As for her parents, they didn't seem to mind that their daughter was really dating another girl - so long as her grades didn't suffer and she didn't suddenly become an unproductive member of society, they were willing enough to let her decide for herself who she wanted to be with.
She had quietly made the offer to take Haru elsewhere for the evening if the two of them wouldn't be welcome at the house.
But once her grandparents had reentered, her grandfather had merely nodded his acceptance, and all was well.
It had been the first holiday ever when Sayaka had brought someone into her home, into her family life.
Naturally, Haru had charmed her family as effortlessly as she had charmed Sayaka herself, with her bright energy and her charismatic personality. Though Sayaka did find it amusing how Haru would often yelp or clamp her mouth shut whenever she accidentally got carried away and spoke over someone.
That Christmas had marked a major milestone for them both.
They had come together once again on New Years to visit shrines and watch the sunrise. They had stood together with many other people at a viewpoint to witness it.
And as the sun had lifted itself above the horizon and flooded the sky with pink and golden light, Sayaka was convinced that she and Haru had sent out the very same wish.
By the end of January, Sayaka and Haru have officially revealed their relationship to everyone in their lives.
With the stress of it all finally dissipated and no longer suppressed inside them, they start off the new year able to enjoy themselves and each other to the fullest.
During their brief winter recess from university, Sayaka spends much of her time at Haru's apartment.
"Not just to fool around," she warns her from the start. "That can come once you're finished with your assignments."
But with the promise of being able to 'fool around' with Sayaka motivating her, Haru makes quick - yet efficient - work of completing her schoolwork early on.
The following days of their vacation are spent going on dates on the days when it isn't too cold, seeing movies or shopping or visiting various restaurants. On the colder days they stay at the apartment and cuddle up to binge dramas or comedies, all while cooking and cleaning up and completing other chores in between.
It's really started to seem like they're living officially together. Their chemistry in a domestic setting is quite perfect, in spite of the few times Haru feels too lazy to complete a task until a later time, and every now and then Sayaka will agree with her and let it be postponed.
Their university has classes resuming on a Wednesday, to allow the students time to ease back into the flow with a shorter week to start.
It's presently the Friday before that, when Sayaka is in the middle of helping her girlfriend tidy up the kitchen after supper, when Haru makes a request.
"Yes?" Sayaka remains focused on her task of scrubbing grease off the pot in her hand, running it under the spray of warm water to ease it.
"You have two cats, right?"
Sayaka pauses briefly in her washing.
"I do. Though they really aren't mine. My grandparents care for them for the most part, and the cats like them best."
"That makes sense."
"Why do you ask?"
Haru is behind her, clearing off the table and putting the sauces and drinks back into the fridge.
"No real reason. I just kinda wanted to meet them someday."
"Yeah. I mean, they mostly hid during Christmas. I think I saw a tail for half a second, but that was it."
"You want to come over to see the cats…" Sayaka slowly continues scrubbing the pot, letting her thoughts wander.
That would imply she wants to stay for a little while.
Sayaka would rather plan this accordingly. She doesn't want Haru's visit to interfere with her parents' work schedule. The last thing they need is for her parents to come home exhausted, only to discover Haru was over and they felt obligated to host.
Of course, Sayaka would handle all of that herself, but it was the formalities of it all that needed to be taken into consideration.
Truth be told, most of her thoughts throughout this recess had been of Haru, and their schedule together. Only now is Sayaka prompted to think of her family's schedules.
And when she does, her hands stop moving, to the point where the water nearly burns her fingers.
"What was that?" Haru puts down her things and bounds over to the sink beside her. Sayaka blinks and shakes her head, slowly bringing herself back into the moment.
"My parents are going to attend some reunion of sorts. And my grandparents are meeting up with some old friends as well."
"Really?" Haru beams. "Maybe we can make plans the same day then! When are they doing all that?"
"…Huh? That soon?!" Haru blurts out. "You never told me that, Senpai!"
"In all honesty, it completely slipped my mind until just now. I suppose the break from school has left me a bit scatterbrained.
"I'll say." Haru notices her girlfriend's hands are turning red beneath the faucet, so she promptly shuts off the water and grabs a hand towel. After coaxing Sayaka to put down the pot and sponge she'd been holding, Haru wraps her hands in the fabric and gives them a firm squeeze. "So then, is tomorrow all right? Can I come over?"
"You see, actually, the events my parents and grandparents will be attending intend to keep them overnight. Until Sunday afternoon, or so."
A brief silence ensues as the implications sink in. Haru slows down her rubbing of Sayaka's hands until she's become completely still.
"So then… we'd be there alone?"
"That would be correct."
"Oh." Haru glances down at their hands, chewing her bottom lip a little. "I mean, it's not like I have to spend the night or anything. Unless you… want me to…?" She lifts her head with a hopeful expression on her face.
Sayaka purses her lips as goes into deep thought. Of course it would be nothing new. After all, they've spent countless nights together here at Haru's place over the past seven months. They've slept in the same bed together many times, without anyone else present. They'd just be doing the same thing, only at Sayaka's residence instead.
Although, it would be a very different situation, considering the fact that Haru was the proper owner of her apartment since she paid the rent. The Saeki residence didn't belong to Sayaka, however, therefore bringing her girlfriend over for the night while her parents and grandparents were away felt particularly scandalous.
As Sayaka thinks it all through, Haru continues holding her hands through the towel. But after another moment of Sayaka's deliberation, Haru gives her wrists a tug to gain her attention.
"Sayaka-senpai, it's all right if that's no good. I can just stop by some other time to see the cats. I didn't mean to pressure you or anything. Sorry."
Sayaka slumps her shoulders just a little. She can tell Haru is doing her best not to sound disappointed so as not to make her feel bad. But Sayaka herself is disappointed at the notion of rejecting her. She doesn't want this. What she wants is to finally take that next step in their relationship, so long as Haru is willing as well.
"No." Sayaka mutters the word, then quickly continues before Haru can misinterpret that as her final answer. "What I mean to say is, I wouldn't mind having you over tomorrow night. I just wouldn't want to take advantage of the situation behind my family's back."
"Yeah, I totally get it!" Haru smiles. "So don't worry about it, okay? Forget I said anything."
"Just a moment." Sayaka turns her hands over beneath the towel, moving them until she finds Haru's hands directly to hold onto them. "I'm not rejecting your request, Haru. At least not yet."
Haru tilts her head. Beneath the towel, she slowly uncurls her fingers and starts lacing them with Sayaka's.
Sayaka mulls over her thoughts a moment longer before continuing.
"I don't want to keep it a secret from my family. I'll propose the idea to them, and if they're opposed, then we'll abstain. But if they wouldn't mind it, then we'll have the green light."
Haru's hands begin to shake with excitement.
"Really? Oh, but if they say no, then it's no good, huh?"
"Perhaps it wouldn't be any good at my house…" Sayaka clears her throat pointedly, glancing elsewhere as a blush dusts across her cheeks. "But if that's the case, I'll simply spend the night here tomorrow, if that's all right."
And at this point, both of them fully understand that this particular upcoming instance of 'spending the night' is not simply going to be like all the other nights they have spent together. At this point in their relationship, they've both made their feelings clear about taking the next step.
Tomorrow night, be it at Haru's place or her own, Sayaka intends to move things along to the next level.
And clearly, Haru has no opposition whatsoever.
"Of course!" She blurts it out so quickly she almost chokes on the words. "Of course it's all right if we do it here! W-Wait, I didn't mean 'do it' like that, I swear! That's not what I-"
"Calm down, Haru." Though the phrasing did send her heart into a bit of a fluster, Sayaka turns her gaze back to her directly and smiles. Haru whimpers at the blunder, now also blushing just as deeply, if not more so. Sayaka's a little glad for that.
"So then it's decided, yes?" she asks. "If we can, we'll take my place. But if not, here is more than fine."
"Yes! Absolutely!" Haru is all but trembling, so much so that it conceals the fact that Sayaka is, too.
"Oh my gosh…" Haru seems as though she's about to burst, or as though she needs to go run a mile or two. "Sayaka-senpai, can I hug you right now?"
"At this point, you really needn't ask."
The towel falls to the floor now as Haru releases her hands, only to throw her arms around Sayaka with enough exuberance to last a month. With a chuckle, Sayaka folds her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders, pulling that familiar warmth closer toward her heart.
Haru squeals to herself softly, hugging her so tightly Sayaka feels she might be lifted off her feet at any second now. But after a moment, Haru loosens her hold on her and eases back.
"Sorry. I just needed to do that or else I might've exploded."
"And left me to clean up the mess, hm?"
"Crap. As I thought I can't even look into your eyes directly right now, Senpai. My heart can't take it. Can I hug you again?"
"Of course. And I'll do you one better." Sayaka moves her hand up to Haru's cheek, tilting her face a bit before kissing her lips.
Haru squeals again, pulling her in by her waist tightly and letting her emotions gush free.
Sayaka laughs as she nuzzles herself into Haru's hair. Her heart is racing from glee and excitement, something it's only ever really done since her second spring of college.
She trusts Haru with her heart, and with every other part of herself.
Tomorrow night, be it here or there, she will share everything she has with her.
"Whoa… Sayaka-senpai, somehow your house looks even bigger from the inside, if that even makes sense."
"I… yes, somehow I suppose it does."
The property and the gardens often made the house look a bit smaller, and even then it was rather large.
After anticipating it for 24 hours, their Saturday evening has finally arrived. Sayaka had called her parents the night before and inquired if it would be permissible to have Haru spend the night while they were away. They had reasoned that she'd spent plenty of nights at Haru's place, so they saw no reason as to why she shouldn't invite Haru over for a change.
By the time Sayaka had arrived with Haru that evening, her parents had already taken their leave for their reunion. The girls had met Sayaka's grandparents at the pathway, just as they had been leaving for their get-together. After bowing deeply to them and swearing to take care of the house, Sayaka and Haru had both received nods of approval from them before they'd gotten onto the bus.
And as such, the two girls now have the entire Saeki residence to themselves.
After removing her shoes and coat, and putting down her overnight bag, Haru had taken to marveling at the rooms of the house she hadn't seen during Christmas. Sayaka brings her around to every room but her parents' and grandparents' bedrooms.
"We have a guest room as well," she says with a slight smirk. "You can stay there tonight if you'd like."
Haru makes an X with her arms.
"Nope. No way. Absolutely not."
"As I thought."
"Show me your room now, Sayaka-senpai!"
"It's really not that impressive. But either way, let's just save that for later."
"Wasn't the original purpose of this visit so that you could meet my cats?"
"Oh, yeah, right. That is the sole reason I am here tonight, Sayaka-senpai. For the cats and nothing else!"
"Now you're just being obvious."
Sayaka leads her to the living room, where she knows the aging cats to spend most of their time lazing about during the colder months. One is bathing itself by the heater while the other is sprawled out in the last few rays of fading sunlight. Haru squeals softly as though she's never seen a cat before in her life.
"They're so cute! Senpai, can I pet them?"
"You can try."
Sayaka herself had spent her entire life with these cats, and they'd never cared much for her, or anyone but her grandparents for that matter. Of course she'd pet them plenty of times before, especially in recent years as they'd gotten older and didn't have the energy to run away. But it wasn't as if they would bound up to her seeking affection. She had a puppy of her own who did that now.
Sayaka stands back a bit as she watches that puppy approaching the cats now.
Haru makes it about halfway across the room before the cats take notice of her. She pauses and drops to her knees, then proceeds to crawl forward slowly.
"Here, kitty, kitty."
The cat closest to her, the piebald lying in the sun, rights itself a bit hastily, as if it were moving because it always intended to get up right now, not because Haru was closing in. It stretches out its legs, then casually skirts around the side of the room before escaping into the hallway. Haru hangs her head in defeat.
Sayaka has to put great effort into not laughing outright. She'd known from the start exactly how this would go, but her cruel side was still prominent in watching Haru try anyway.
Undaunted by her first failure, Haru turns her attention to the second cat, who had stopped bathing itself to watch her with mild interest.
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…"
Haru extends her arm and reaches her fingertips toward the cat. Sayaka already anticipates watching it dart away after the first one.
But to her astonishment, the cat actually sniffs Haru's hand and stays put. Haru grins and leans forward, gently patting the top of its head.
"Wow!" she cries softly. "He let me pet him!" She gets in just a few strokes before her voice startles the cat and sends it scampering off. But Haru seems quite content with her small victory. Sayaka walks over to her and offers her hand to help her up from the floor.
"I must admit I'm impressed. I didn't anticipate even one of them would let you get that close. I think I'm a bit jealous."
"No way. I'm the one who's jealous of them."
"Of the cats?"
"Yeah. I mean, they got to live with you their whole lives, and they got to see you when you were just a baby and all through your whole childhood and you grade school and high school years! I wish I'd known you for that long, Senpai."
Sayaka considers that perspective for a moment, but ultimately shakes her head.
"While I can agree it might have been nice if we'd known each other since day one… I don't think our relationship would have progressed in quite the same way."
Haru blinks, then smiles.
"Yeah. I guess you're right."
"Either way, I'm quite happy with what we have right now."
"Definitely! It's the best!"
With this, they head to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Though Sayaka insists on doing most of the work, Haru plays the card of "Well you always help me when we're at my place!" and she has no comeback to that.
They decide on a mildly-spicy curry dish, which takes just under and hour to prepare. While they wait for it to cook, Haru asks if she can feed the cats, and Sayaka hands her a can of food. Haru dumps half into each of the cat's bowls, then stands back and watches them saunter in to sit down and eat.
By that point their curry is ready, and the two girls take their seats to begin eating.
They chat normally as they always do, the only difference being the environment. Haru asks more about the house and the garden and about Sayaka's childhood, about the sort of things she'd never felt she had an excuse to ask about until now. Sayaka answers in moderation, leaving out unnecessary details, though she has a feeling Haru wouldn't mind listening to her talk about the most mundane topics in the world.
After dinner, they clean up together as always, turning off whatever lights need to be turned off, and so forth. They then take turns changing into their sleepwear.
Normally, Sayaka would wear a sweater and pants set to bed in the winter. But given the rather… unique circumstances they had in mind for tonight, she opts to dress a bit more nicely.
She lets her hair down first before slipping on a long pink nightgown.
Until now, the thoughts of what they planned to do tonight had resided in the back of her mind, while giving Haru a tour and preparing dinner and such had taken precedence.
But now her chest begins to feel fuzzy and strange. Sayaka draws in a deep breath, combing through her hair a few times before brushing her teeth. When she finally steps out of the bathroom, Haru perks up from her seat on the couch, and her jaw drops.
Sayaka fidgets slightly, pinching the thin pink strap on her shoulder and rolling the fabric between her fingers.
"Is it perhaps no good?"
Haru shakes her head immediately.
"No way! It's fantastic! Senpai, you're so gorgeous! But don't you think you'll be cold?"
Sayaka pouts, embarrassed with herself for what she's about to say, but she throws her inhibitions to the wind and speaks the cliche line anyway.
"I was hoping you might be able to take care of me in that regard, Haru…"
At the very least, the line was just as damaging for Haru to hear as it was for Sayaka to say. If Haru hadn't already been sitting down, Sayaka believes she would've fallen clean over.
"O-Of course!" she squeaks. "Absolutely! I promise I'll keep you warm, Senpai! No matter what!"
Sayaka's heart dances with delight.
"Thank you. Would you care to get changed now? You brought a toothbrush, didn't you?"
Haru leaps up from the couch and grabs her bag, then rushes into the bathroom. Clearly, she doesn't want to spend a second longer away from Sayaka tonight than she realistically has to.
Sayaka understands these will be the only few moments she'll have to herself for the rest of the evening, so she uses them wisely. Taking a seat on the couch, she draws in a deep breath to help calm her nerves, then exhales slowly.
Relax. There's really nothing to be so nervous about.
Of course they didn't have to go through with this tonight. If either of them was truly feeling too overwhelmed by it all, they could wait.
But Sayaka knows Haru has been longing for this for quite some time, and it would be an outright lie to tell herself she wasn't wanting it as well. She knows Haru is probably twice as nervous and excited about it, and Sayaka would never forgive herself if she were to crush Haru's spirits tonight.
Only if it becomes absolutely necessary. Only if it's clear one or both of us isn't comfortable.
They'd met almost a year ago, and have been dating for more than half that time. At this point, they have done everything together shy of what they are about to do tonight. She didn't think she would feel quite so high-strung about it.
But I suppose that just proves how serious I am about it. How badly I don't want to disappoint her. How deeply I care about her.
Her heart is a complete mess at the moment, bouncing and fluttering and pounding all at the same time, sometimes skipping and sometimes stopping for a second.
And we haven't even made it to the bedroom yet! Honestly, I need to get a grip...
She reaches for the remote and turns on the television, flicking to a sweet romantic comedy they had watched together before. The background noise serves to help ease her mind a little.
A few seconds later, the bathroom door reopens, and she turns to find Haru with her hair down as well, dressed in her usual pajama t-shirt and shorts. Sayaka scoffs.
"And you'd been worried that I might be cold…"
"To be honest, I just grabbed whatever," Haru confesses. "But… we'll keep each other warm tonight, right?"
Sayaka turns around and mumbles quietly.
"Yes, I suppose that's right…"
Haru puts down her bag and hurries over to join her on the couch.
Sayaka leans back against the cushions with her as Haru cuddles up into her side, wrapping both arms around her without hesitation. They pull their legs up under them and get comfortable, arranging the pillows behind and around themselves.
Sayaka drapes her arm across Haru's back, barely paying any attention to the program. She has to remind herself how to breathe a few times, and spends a good ten minutes or so wondering if Haru can feel just how hard her heart is beating. But as far as she can tell, Haru is equally rigid, shifting about almost constantly and readjusting her hold on her.
Sayaka reels herself in, once again reminding herself of her age.
I need to take control here. No matter what.
She won't budge on this matter. Not tonight. Not with this. She won't even consider letting Haru take the lead first with this.
Therefore, after about thirty minutes of letting the TV play and engaging in casual, mindless conversation about the plot, Sayaka musters her willpower and makes her move.
She begins letting her hand slip down Haru's back to her hip in a rather telling motion. She hears a sharp intake of breath and feels her shiver. Reaching across, she rests her other hand in Haru's lap, on her thigh where her shorts do so little to keep her covered.
After that, neither spare a second glance at the screen.
Haru turns to her, giving Sayaka her undivided attention.
Sayaka hushes her with a kiss, allowing one hand to slip beneath Haru's t-shirt. Perhaps her hands are a bit cold - or perhaps it's for an entirely different reason - but Haru shivers and whimpers softly.
Keeping one arm curled around Sayaka's neck for support, Haru makes her move as well and lets her free hand travel up her side, and eventually to the center of her chest. Sayaka exhales, then inhales, feeling the way her body arches into Haru's touch. But she won't yield to her. Not yet.
After parting from the next kiss, which was even more heated than the first, Sayaka pauses things.
Just saying her name and looking into her eyes directly conveys it all. Haru gives a quick nod of agreement.
They get up and turn off the TV and all the remaining lights before heading upstairs hand-in-hand.
Sayaka leads Haru directly to her bedroom, not even bothering to turn on the lights as they enter. She does ensure to close and lock the door behind them though, because the last thing they're going to need is to have a cat sauntering in to stare at them while the two of them are occupied with one another.
The amount of nervous excitement coursing through her body only increases now that they've arrived at their final destination for the night. But Sayaka has to assume Haru is even more nervous, being that she's in her older girlfriend's bedroom while her entire family is away. Therefore, Sayaka offers a comment in hopes of lightening the mood a little.
"Well?" she prompts. "For someone who was so eager to see my room before, you're awfully quiet now."
Haru squeezes her hand a little. She turns to her a bit slowly, and Sayaka is a little surprised to see a rather calm and serious look in her eyes.
"Sorry, Senpai, but to be honest, I don't care about anything else in the world right now except for you."
Her response admittedly catches Sayaka off-guard, and she has to put great effort into fighting off a blush.
"Such a cheeky kouhai…"
She tries not to let it injure her pride too much as she guides Haru over to the bed.
They sit down together on the edge to start. Sayaka is already thankful they'd managed not to get too far downstairs, since this space is clearly much more appropriate and comfortable for what they intend to do.
She makes her move first, before Haru can do so, kissing her girlfriend full on the lips. Haru hums against her mouth, and Sayaka feels hands roaming up and down her sides again, then across her back.
Unfortunately for Haru, the nightgown Sayaka had chosen for tonight doesn't allow for much touching at this point.
But luckily for Sayaka, Haru's choice of attire is just the opposite.
She inches her hand beneath Haru's t-shirt once again, keeping it innocently on her side for a moment as they engage in another kiss. But little by little, Sayaka begins moving upward, until she can cup Haru's chest through her bra.
Immediately, Haru tenses up and squeals a little, but Sayaka can't tell if it's a good or a bad reaction, so she stops herself.
"Haru? I'm sorry. Am I going too quickly?"
Haru shakes her head like a wet dog.
"No- no! No way! This is totally fine! Th-This is perfect! I just still can't believe it's real."
"Oh, it's very real." Sayaka leans closer and purrs against the shell of her ear. "I can promise you that, Haru."
She hears Haru swallow loudly, and the grip she has on Sayaka's waist tightens.
"Is it?" she says. "It isn't just a dream this time...?"
"'This time'?" Curious, Sayaka eases away to look at her face. "And just how many times, pray tell, have you dreamed of doing such things?"
"Only with you!" Haru clarifies. "But, uh… I've lost count by now…"
Sayaka shakes her head and sighs.
"What a hopeless, and cheeky kouhai."
"I-I can't help it! You're beautiful, Sayaka-senpai! I never imagined you'd look my way back then the day we met, let alone get to know me and then even wanna date me! And now we've been going out for almost a year? I still can't believe it's real sometimes! And tonight, after I've dreamed of it so many times, I finally get to have sex with you-"
"Haru!" Sayaka yelps softly at the blatancy of the words she'd just heard. There's no way she's going to remain as composed as she wants to be if her girlfriend is saying things like that.
Haru must've realized what she'd said out loud and scrambles.
"Ah, s-sorry! But I mean, like… that is what we're going to do, isn't it…?"
Sayaka is thankful for the darkness, because she can feel for herself just how heavy her own blush is on her face right now. Breathing in slowly, she lets it out as steadily as possible.
"Yes… it is…"
"Sorry. I just can't… I finally get to have sex with you, Senpai."
"Not if you keep saying it so shamelessly."
"Oh my gosh! Sorry!"
The two of them take a moment to recover from the heated blushes that have seemingly spread across their entire bodies by this point. Sayaka withdraws her hand from Haru's chest only to curl it against her own.
My heart can't take this. I've got to get ahold of myself before she gets the jump on me first.
"Senpai?" Haru peers up at her curiously, then reaches for her hand. She eases Sayaka's hand away from her chest, then replaces it with her own for a few seconds. Haru sputters. "Sayaka-senpai, I think your heart's beating even faster than mine is. Are you okay?"
"I'm just fine." Sayaka exhales through grit teeth. "Please don't get ahead of yourself, Haru."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Sayaka lifts her head and gives her girlfriend what she hopes to be a serious look, though with how frazzled and fuzzy she's feeling right now, she isn't sure how convincing it is.
"I believe I've mentioned many times how I am the eldest of the two of us. As such, I intend to take the lead tonight."
"Wh-" Haru's jaw drops a tiny bit in both shock and delight. "You're gonna…? W-Wait, are you sure? N-No offense, Senpai, but have you ever even… done this before…?"
Sayaka feels as though she'd suffered a physical blow of sorts from the comment, but somehow she manages to keep herself up.
"I… haven't." She's never admitted it out loud before like this. Her whole body becomes hot with embarrassment. Haru wiggles herself a bit closer, picking up one of her hands.
"Then would it be all right if I took the lead first? I have some experience, after all."
"You do?" Sayaka isn't sure if she's more baffled by that news, or by the fact that she'd never considered to ask about it before. Haru nods sheepishly.
"Yeah. Only once, though. A few years ago."
Sayaka almost feels dizzy. Her younger girlfriend really is more experienced than her in every single way.
My pride is in shambles.
But even so, she absolutely will not waver on this matter tonight. Drawing in a deep breath, Sayaka meets her gaze firmly.
"Even so, I won't negotiate on this, Haru."
"A-Are you sure?" Haru is clearly very excited about the idea of letting Sayaka have her way with her tonight, but she's also still more than willing to step up to take the lead if she changes her mind. "I mean, I could show you first and then you could try afterward if you-"
"Yes, ma'am! It's all you then, Senpai!"
Sayaka huffs, though she does appreciate Haru's offer to take the lead first, given she'd only had Sayaka's comfort in mind.
But I'm the eldest. Even if it isn't the best experience she's ever had, I'm going to take the initiative first.
At this point, Haru's hand is still settled on Sayaka's pulse, which has become quite haphazard.
"Senpai, for someone trying to sound so confident, your heart's really pounding, though-"
Sayaka cuts her off with a narrowed glare.
"That's enough out of you."
Haru drops her hand, and the topic. Sayaka exhales, then offers a gentler smile.
Now, she simply pulls Haru into an embrace, resting their bodies together as the two of them try to get their bearings for what's to come.
"Haru." Sayaka runs her hands up her back, then starts to pet through her hair to her shoulders. "As much as we've both been anticipating this tonight-"
"Both?" Haru interrupts. "You mean, you've been wanting it too, Senpai?"
Sayaka draws in another deep breath to keep her temper in-check.
"What kind of a question is that? Haru, we've been dating for nearly a year now. Of course I've thought about doing these things with you."
"Oh…" For all her chatter and interrupting, now Haru has nothing more to say. Sayaka nods approval and continues.
"Even though we've decided to do this tonight… that doesn't mean we have to see it through. What I mean is, we can stop at any time. If it becomes too overwhelming, or too uncomfortable, or - heaven forbid - painful, please tell me, Haru. You must."
She'd never - never - be able to forgive herself if she ended up hurting her, or making her feel pressured. Just because Haru was always energetic and eager about being physically affectionate every waking moment didn't mean it was all right to assume she would be fine with this as well.
Sayaka feels a pang shoot through her chest just at the mere notion of potentially upsetting her somehow. She squeezes her more tightly.
"I mean it, Haru. Please. If there is ever something you don't enjoy, something that feels strange or makes you have second thoughts… I-"
Sayaka only just now realizes that there are tears running down her face. Haru pulls away from her with a loud gasp, panicked to find her crying.
"Sayaka-senpai, oh my god! H-Hold on a second!"
"I'm sorry…" Sayaka dips her face and wipes her eyes. "I'm not sure why I'm-"
"Senpai! Ahhh gosh, Sayaka-senpai!" Haru can think of nothing more to do than to throw her arms around Sayaka in the biggest and tightest hug she can muster. She rubs her hands up and down her back, through her hair, then cradles her head and kisses her cheek. "Senpai, slow down! You're killing me, here!"
Haru just holds her for a long moment.
Sayaka can't manage to pick up the pieces of herself right away, so she just weeps quietly into Haru's shoulder. Haru fretfully continues rubbing her back.
"Jeez… Senpai, you're an angel, you know that? A goddess. You're too good to be true. I love you so much."
Sayaka is frustrated by how the tears keep coming. She was supposed to be making Haru feel good right now, and yet here she is crying instead. She can't even speak yet, so Haru does instead.
"Senpai… oh my gosh, Sayaka-senpai. Listen, okay? Please listen." Haru pauses, draws in a deep breath to show how serious she is, then continues. "Nothing - nothing - you could ever do would ever make me feel uncomfortable, okay? Like, seriously. It isn't possible. Everything you do is perfect, Senpai, because you're perfect. At least to me. And if the rest of the world doesn't agree, it's their loss."
She must've realized she'd gone off rambling a bit, because she brings herself back on track.
"But yeah, like I said, you could never make me uncomfortable, Senpai. I mean it. And even if you did somehow - which you won't! - I would tell you right away, okay? I promise! So please don't worry about it! For real! Please don't cry, Senpai!"
Though Sayaka does feel a bit better to hear her say that, she is still beside herself with emotion.
"Haru…" Sayaka lifts her face from her girlfriend's shoulder a little, easing back from the hug just enough to meet her eyes. "I just… I don't want to hurt you-"
"You won't!" Haru blurts. "You seriously won't! You literally couldn't hurt me if you tried, Senpai! I am just… I am so happy and excited about tonight, it's not even possible for me to be upset about anything other than making you upset."
Sayaka wants to tell her that isn't the case; that she isn't immune to pain or discomfort just because she's excited. But Haru must be able to predict what she intends to say, because she's already plowing forward to dash those fears.
"Sayaka-senpai. I swear on my life that if I feel even a little bit of anything unpleasant, I'll tell you right away. If I didn't, you'd never forgive yourself, would you? That's why you're crying right now. Because you can't even bear the thought of hurting me. Senpai, you really are such a good girl. Definitely too good to be true. God, I'm so lucky…"
By now, Sayaka has reeled herself in a good amount. She'd conveyed her feelings, unceremoniously perhaps, but she'd conveyed them nonetheless. And Haru had understood them and responded with the promise to speak up if need be.
Sayaka trusts her. After all, trust is what it all boils down to in the end.
She decides she's already wasted enough of their precious time tonight crying. Any longer and both of them will start to consider postponing this.
So after drawing in several deep breaths and wiping her face on her forearm, Sayaka eases back a bit. Haru still keeps her arms on her sides to support her though, just in case.
"Sayaka-senpai? Are you okay?"
"Are you sure? C-Cuz like you were saying, we really don't have to do this tonight if you don't-"
Sayaka quiets her by pressing her index finger to Haru's lips.
"Oh, trust me, Haru. I want this as sincerely as you do. Truly, I do."
Once again, she can tell Haru is trying not to get too carried away with her excitement as she focuses more on the fact that Sayaka had just been in tears.
"But if you'd rather wait-"
"Haru." Sayaka gradually feels her confidence returning, and she intends to let it show. "I'm all right. I promise."
It's an identical conversation they had several times before. The familiarity of it washes over them, putting them both at ease. It reminds them that, though it's a different experience tonight, it isn't anything new.
It's still them. It's still each other.
The same bond. The same trust. The same feelings.
Just being conveyed a little more intimately.
Now, with the hesitations cleared up and cast aside, Sayaka pulls Haru into another embrace. She waits a moment, letting both Haru and herself adjust, letting their bodies remember exactly what it is they're going to do tonight.
Before long, the heat and the excitement return full-force. Sayaka feels Haru's hands gripping her shoulders tightly, but she lets it be known that she still very much intends to be in charge. Sayaka once again intrudes beneath her t-shirt, holding Haru up by the small of her back as her other hand explores across her chest and stomach. Sayaka kisses her, gradually leaning her weight over Haru to make her statement. She feels Haru shudder softly, and her arms lock more tightly behind Sayaka's neck.
"Haru," she murmurs against her lips. "Are you cold?"
Haru closes her eyes, as if looking at her directly right now is too much.
"A little… but trust me, it's getting hotter by the second."
"I'm glad to hear it."
Sayaka allows her hand to slip beneath Haru's bra, touching her directly for the first time.
That's what earns the first moan from Haru. And it isn't like the cutesy little ones that have slipped out by accident in the past when they were cuddling. This sound is a bit deeper, a bit more honest.
Sayaka's pride revives all at once. She smirks.
"A-Aaah, S-Senpai, no fair!"
"But all is fair in love and war, no?"
Sayaka is relieved they'd made it past the tears from earlier. She finds she's enjoying this far more greatly than she ever imagined.
And this is only the very beginning.
She indulges herself, letting the hand on Haru's chest explore as it pleases, passing over every inch of untouched skin. Haru continues moaning against her lips, fidgeting and arching herself upward to meet Sayaka's touch better.
Sayaka can feel that her girlfriend's arms are beginning to tremble, and more and more of her weight is sagging back, to the point where Sayaka can't hold her up any longer. Carefully, she moves Haru to the center of the bed and lies her down, making sure to cushion her head on the pillow.
Sayaka pauses for a moment to admire the sight of her.
Edamoto Haru. The cute, energetic kouhai who was too bold for her own good.
The girl whom Sayaka had found crying nearly one year earlier.
The girl who was surprisingly self-sufficient with her own apartment, and a bit irresponsible with her consumption of alcohol as a minor.
The girl who was always racing forward.
The girl who had taken Sayaka's hand and pulled her along with her.
The girl who made Saeki Sayaka breathless in every sense of the word.
The girl who made heart swell.
The girl she had come to fall deeply in love with.
Haru is the person she'd been waiting for all her life, and Sayaka has known that for some time now.
So to see her laying in Sayaka's own bed now, with her hair loose and wild, her clothes ruffled, her face flushed, her body trembling, and her eyes wavering with unhindered delight…
Sayaka almost can't bear the sight of her looking so beautiful, but she doesn't dare turn away. She blinks a few times, ensuring it's real. She engraves this image of Haru into her heart.
"I apologize. I couldn't help myself."
"No, it's okay. It's kind of hot. You're really hot from where I'm laying right now, Senpai."
Sayaka smiles mischievously.
"I'm very glad to hear that."
To thank her girlfriend for stroking her ego even further, Sayaka wastes no more time in leaning down to give Haru her full attention again.
By now, Haru's t-shirt has been rolled up to her collar, and her bra has slipped aside, allowing Sayaka to touch her fully. She pays attention to how Haru's fingernails curl and uncurl into her shoulder blades, taking note of what she seems to enjoy in particular.
Sayaka kisses her lips heavily a few more times before making her way down the side of Haru's neck, then traveling down to her collar and chest. Haru yelps with delight.
Haru shakes her head from side to side.
"No… but I just… I think I need a minute."
Sayaka softens her kisses and her touch.
She moves back up to Haru's face and leaves a sweet kiss on her cheek, stroking her free hand back through her bangs and her hair. Haru's eyelashes flutter, and when Sayaka catches her gaze, she finds it hazy and happy.
Sayaka kisses her forehead. She's relieved Haru had spoken up as she'd said she would if she felt too overwhelmed. That makes Sayaka all the more confident that she can go through with this if she knows Haru is going to be completely open about how she's feeling.
Haru swallows a few times as Sayaka continues her lighter kisses. She really is gazing up at her as though she's some kind of goddess. Sayaka blushes faintly.
"Haru. I'm really not that spectacular."
"Yes you are."
Sayaka pouts. Even if she fully believes Haru is mistaken, she isn't going to argue with her right now when she's supposed to be spoiling her. So she just sighs again.
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Are you kidding me?" Haru wheezes. "Senpai, I've never enjoyed myself more in my entire life. Like, I can't even express how much I'm enjoying myself right now. I'm seriously-"
"All right. I think I understand." Sayaka kisses her cheek again. "I'm glad."
"I just needed a minute because you're honestly so beautiful, Senpai. My brain still can't comprehend that this is really happening right now."
"Hm? Then perhaps I should do something that makes reality absolutely undeniable."
Haru squeaks in the back of her throat.
"I think I'd like that…"
Sayaka props herself up onto her elbows, hovering over her as her hair falls down over her shoulders, further displaying the control she has over her right now. Slowly, she eases her weight onto Haru's chest and husks into her ear.
"I think I would, too."
Haru squeals again as she squeezes Sayaka's back, and her legs kick a little bit in her excitement. Sayaka eases a bit more of her weight onto her to keep her still so she can focus on her tasks.
She begins by kissing her lips again, while massaging across her chest to elicit more cute noises from her. Very subtly, she lets her hand travel lower, across her stomach, until it meets her shorts. At that point, Haru twitches a bit.
"Senpai-" she pants. "You're… really good at this. Are you sure it's really your first time?"
Sayaka frowns and narrows her eyes once again.
"Haru? Are you perhaps trying to irk me right now?"
"I dunno. Probably. You're really hot when you're a little mad, Senpai."
"Oh. I see."
"Damn, see what I mean?"
"Haru." Sayaka says with feigned pleasantness. "Be quiet."
"Eep-" Haru clams up right away, shivering with delight.
Though Sayaka is genuinely a bit irked, she uses it to Haru's advantage, reminding herself the purpose of this is to spoil her. So if her being a bit harsh is something Haru enjoys, she's going to do just that.
After all, most people tended to see Sayaka as a distinguished and well-behaved person. Only Haru, who was closer to her than anyone else had ever gotten to be, knows she has a bit of a mean streak as well.
She lets the slight anger at being reminded that her younger girlfriend has more experience than her fuel her actions now.
Sayaka leaves heavier kisses on Haru's chest, curling her arm beneath the back of her neck as the other hand tugs at her shorts. Haru's fingers have curled into the back of her nightgown by now, slipping on the silk as they try to find purchase. She has to dig her nails in a bit, enough to cause a slight amount of pain.
But Sayaka hardly minds; if it means she's driving Haru crazy from the anticipation, she'll gladly accept such a minor ache.
She only removes Haru's shorts as much as they need to be, as she gets the feeling that pausing to fully remove any article at this point will only interfere with the sensations building up between them.
And while she is a bit curious to see how Haru might react to being made to wait, perhaps she can try that some other time. For tonight, Sayaka wants to take care of her properly, without teasing her too much.
She continues her kisses across Haru's chest, and all the little moans and whimpers she's making are melodic to her. Haru begins squirming a bit, particularly when Sayaka touches the last bit of fabric that's separating them from one another. As she traces her fingers there lightly, Haru can't hold her voice back any longer.
Hearing her voice stammer like that, and feeling her whole body shuddering with heat and need…
Sayaka really has to hold herself back from just doing what she has to right then and there. But she catches herself, not wanting to rush it and end up making Haru uncomfortable. Lifting her head, she seeks Haru's eyes, which are squeezed shut at the moment as she tries to remember how to use her lungs.
"Haru…" Sayaka calls for her softly. "Are you-?"
"Yes-" Haru rasps. "Oh my god, yes. I'm more than fine, Sayaka-senpai. I'm seriously… please don't worry about me, I've never been better."
The fact that she knew Sayaka would be checking on her to the point where Haru was ready to respond immediately with her answer proves just how badly she needs her now. Sayaka knows she shouldn't tease her any longer.
But perhaps just one more minute.
"Haru…" She hums her name, kissing her chest once more before moving back up to her lips. Haru whines and wiggles beneath her as Sayaka touches her again.
"Senpai… you're being unfair…"
"Ah, ah. All is fair in love and war."
Haru can't form words anymore, so she just kisses her back as best she can. Sayaka chuckles.
"I'm sorry. Is this what you want…?"
As she says it, she lets her fingers slip beneath the elastic. Haru clings to her tighter.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Sayaka kisses her again as she touches her directly for the first time. It's so warm, and so soft, like the petals of a flower that have been bathing in the sunlight.
Haru makes some unintelligible sound, and Sayaka kisses her again.
Haru's hands have grabbed fistfuls of her nightgown by now, pulling Sayaka down as close as possible.
"Well, since you asked so nicely…"
Sayaka smirks. Judging by Haru's reactions, she would say she's done quite nicely for someone who was doing this for the first time.
But now it's time to give her what she needs.
Sayaka savors the sight of her like this for just a few more seconds before gently slipping inside.
Haru breathes out heavily through her nose, biting her lip before letting out a small 'ah!'
Sayaka pauses; she truthfully isn't sure if that was all it took. But a moment later, Haru pulls her down even closer.
Sayaka kisses her and begins to move. Haru lifts her hips up a little to match the rhythm, panting against her lips.
Sayaka has to admit she's rather impressed that Haru has lasted this long. Considering how absolutely smitten she was with Sayaka, and how she reacted so strongly from just the slightest touch, it's honestly a miracle it hadn't been over moments ago.
Sayaka savors these feelings for as long as Haru can hold out, touching her in every way she can, sharing her body heat and her affections with her whole heart.
Before much longer, she can feel Haru growing tense. Her eyes are closed, and she keeps turning her head from side to side, so Sayaka knows she's going crazy with how close she is. So she gives her exactly what she needs, exactly how she needs it.
Sayaka kisses her.
"Haru. I love you."
The last thing Haru utters is a curse, which Sayaka thinks is quite precious.
Haru yelps out loud as she hits her high, rides it out, and then crashes softly. Sayaka is certain to kiss her plenty, only withdrawing her hand when she's certain Haru no longer needs her there.
Haru is a complete mess, and criminally beautiful.
"Oh my god…" she rasps. "Oh my god… S-Senpai…"
"Easy now." Sayaka kisses her lips, slowly lying herself down on top of her, feeling just how strongly Haru's pulse is pounding. Haru's arms are still shaking all over, but she locks them around Sayaka's back and squeezes as hard as she can. Sayaka chuckles and proceeds to pepper her face with kisses.
It takes Haru a few minutes to recover, and even after that she simply lies there in bliss, running her hands all across Sayaka's back.
"Is it real…?" she utters at last. "If it's a dream then please don't ever wake me up."
"It's not a dream, Haru."
"No way, right? No way it was a dream… that felt way too good."
"I'm quite glad to hear it."
"No, like, seriously." Haru blinks hazily up at her, though the clarity is beginning to resurface now. "It was amazing, Senpai. The best. I just… I can't even tell you. I don't even have the words."
Sayaka caresses her cheek and gazes down at her fondly.
"I'm very glad, Haru. Truly, I am. I couldn't be happier than I am right now."
"Oh, I think I can beg to differ on that."
Sayaka had been more than content with the idea of simply cuddling up with her until they fell asleep. But judging by how Haru is gathering up her strength beneath her now, she has other ideas.
Sayaka yelps softly in surprise as Haru pushes herself up a bit, then rolls her girlfriend off to one side so they're lying face-to-face. Haru then sits up, readjusting her clothes as she looms over her.
"Let me do it for you too, Senpai."
"Eh?" Sayaka's throat tightens a little. She shakes her head. "Haru, it's all right. Perhaps some other time. Tonight, why don't you just relax now?"
"No way!" Haru declares. "There's no way I could relax now knowing I didn't do something in return for you, Senpai. You just gave me the best experience in the entire world. I wanna do it for you, too."
"But aren't you tired?"
"Tired?" Haru gawks. "Senpai, if anything, that only gave me even more energy that I don't know what to do with."
"…Somehow I don't think that's how it typically works…"
"Trust me. That doesn't mean it wasn't the most incredible thing ever," Haru assures her. "I think I'm just so happy I literally can't feel anything else."
"Somehow that sounds troubling…"
"It's not! Gah, w-wait, lemme try to say this right." Haru takes a breath, thinks over her words, then tries again. "Sayaka-senpai, I promise you I've never felt better in my life than I do right now. It was so good that it recharged me instantly. I seriously can't calm down now. Not until I channel some of this energy."
She reaches out to cover Sayaka's hands with hers. "Senpai, please let me touch you, too. It's no fair that you did it for me tonight, but you've never been on the other side of it before! I-" She pauses, blushes, then continues. "I… want to have your first time, Sayaka-senpai. Can I…?"
Sayaka has remained quiet as she's listened until now. She's been trying to understand how Haru could still have so much energy after an experience that was allegedly supposed to cause exhaustion, but somehow she isn't terribly surprised that this girl, of all people, would still have energy to spare.
But now, as Haru makes that request, Sayaka feels her face turn warmer.
My first time…
They'd shared countless other 'firsts' together so far. The evening when Sayaka had agreed to try out new cuddling positions with her comes to mind. And then there had been their first time watching a horror film together, and the first time Sayaka had ever been sick and needed taking care of. Not to mention so many others since they'd started dating.
But this first…
This was one Sayaka had never even come close to with anyone else in her life.
What Haru takes from her tonight, Sayaka can never give again.
She's a bit miffed to think that someone else had taken Haru's first time. But it makes her content to know that person hadn't lasted long enough to make Haru feel half as good as Sayaka had made her feel tonight. She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to experience that with Haru, too.
Sayaka mulls over her thoughts, and all the while she's aware of her heart rate picking up. She'd done as she wanted and tended to Haru first.
So… if she's so eager about it, there's no real reason for me to refuse, right?
She just wants to justify it. She wants to make sure she's really earned it.
Evidently, she takes a bit too long to think things over in silence, because Haru gives another squeeze to her hands. When Sayaka looks up at her again, Haru's eyes are swimming with worry.
"I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to, Senpai. Like, if it's too overwhelming or too scary… I get it. You don't have to force yourself just because you want to make me happy."
Sayaka's heart throbs.
"I wouldn't be forcing myself, Haru. I promise."
Haru perks up with a hopeful spark in her eyes.
"Really? Are you sure? I mean, like you did for me, just tell me if I do something you don't like. Even if it's just a little thing."
"I will," she agrees.
"I promise, Haru."
"Okay." Haru exhales, once again clearly trying not to get too ahead of herself. "I'll go slow. Even though I want you to feel good as soon as possible, I get it that there's pacing to this stuff." Haru lifts one of Sayaka's hands to her lips and places a kiss on the back. "Sayaka-senpai, I swear I'll do my best to make sure your first time is the best thing you've ever known."
"I appreciate that, Haru. But you are already the best thing I've ever known."
"Kya-! S-Senpai, no fair!"
"But all is fair-"
"Gaahh, I know!"
Sayaka laughs softly, and Haru soon joins her in it.
Sayaka stays where she is, gazing up at her girlfriend in the faint moonlight. Haru strokes her fingers through her bangs, down the side of her head to her shoulder, then rubs lightly up and down her side. Sayaka lets out a breath, and she can't deny it quivers just a little bit. She closes her eyes for a moment to reflect.
How many years?
For how many years of high school and college had she been surrounded by people who had been sleeping with their significant others, while Sayaka hadn't even been able to get a real date?
At the time, it had all felt like a waste of her youth.
But now, as she lies here in her bed with Haru watching over her, touching her so gently and still beaming from the feelings Sayaka had just given her…
All that 'wasted' youth doesn't feel so wasted any longer.
Sayaka is absolutely, whole-heartedly certain that there is nowhere else she would rather be in this moment than exactly where she is right now.
She rests for a moment longer, preparing herself for what is to come, and realizing that it's something she's been looking forward to for quite some time now.
She focuses on the feeling of Haru's fingers gliding down her side. She hears her sigh and opens her eyes to look back up at her.
"Sayaka-senpai… how is it that you're so cute and so beautiful at the same time? I don't think I can hold back much longer."
Sayaka draws in a breath of her scent, letting the feeling of sunlight wrap around her heart.
"Then please, if you wouldn't mind…"
Haru leans closer, dipping over her to kiss her cheek.
"Then don't mind if I do."
Sayaka officially relinquishes her lead, and turns it over to her girlfriend.
Haru starts by giving a light push to her shoulder, leaving Sayaka on her back. Haru makes quick work of climbing over her, covering Sayaka's entire body with hers as she kisses her.
Sayaka reaches up to fold both arms around her neck, keeping her close. Now, with Haru's pulse over hers, Sayaka can feel just how quickly her own is beating in contrast. Even though she's constantly reminding herself that she's older, her body knows what her mind is perhaps a bit too scared to admit; that this really is her first time.
Even though she loves Haru more than she'd ever thought she loved anyone else before her, and even though Sayaka had just finished making love to her, it's still a lot to take in all at once.
She tries to distract herself by softly tangling her fingers through Haru's hair, dropping her other hand down her back to grab onto her shirt. Haru continues kissing her, hard enough to make her breathless. Sayaka feels as though her lungs are about to burst. She has no choice but to nip her softly. Haru breaks the kiss instantly and pulls back a bit.
"It's all right."
Haru apologizes by planting much smaller, lighter kisses across her temples and forehead. Sayaka breathes beneath her, having to do so manually, as she's a bit too lightheaded to remember how to do so on her own.
She feels one of Haru's hands cupping her cheek, so she leans into her palm. Haru kisses the side of her face, clearing the loose locks of hair away and tucking them back behind her ear. When Sayaka has the sense to recognize Haru's other hand, she discovers that it's contented itself with running up and down her side for the moment.
Haru's voice is different from how she's ever heard it before. It's a bit deeper, a bit hungrier. Sayaka's heart skips a full beat. She can't speak, so she just turns her face away for the moment, unable to meet her eyes. Haru nuzzles into the side of her neck.
"Sayaka-senpai." She lightens her tone a bit. "Are you okay?" Before Sayaka can answer, Haru settles more fully on top of her chest, letting her hand pause on her ribcage. "H-Holy crap, your heart's pounding!"
Sayaka feels a fresh wave of heat spread across her face. She lets out a shaky huff.
"And just whose fault is that-?"
"Sorry! I'm really sorry!"
"It isn't… necessarily a bad thing…"
"Maybe not," Haru admits. "But I think it's way too fast right now, even considering what we're doing... Do you need a minute?"
Sayaka huffs, and even that trembles.
Haru immediately tones it down several notches, bracing some of her weight on her elbows so as not to crush her. Sayaka hadn't even been aware of how flustered she'd become until Haru had mentioned it.
And she's only just gotten started with me…
In spite of how collected she always tries to be, when it comes to Haru, Sayaka finds she's always much weaker than she thought she was.
I can't help it… I just feel things so much more strongly with her. More strongly than I've ever felt them before…
And that includes not only the excitement and the joy, but also the nervousness.
She inhales slowly several times, trying to match her breathing with Haru's. All the while, Haru continues to monitor her heart rate while pressing small kisses along her hairline.
"Senpai, should we stop? It's all right. I mean it."
Sayaka wants to be frustrated by the fact that she almost can't handle this, but she's so touched by Haru's genuine concern that the frustration melts away before it can even begin to take hold of her.
"I'll be all right."
But she feels Haru resisting a little.
"Senpai, you promised you'd be honest with me, remember?"
"I know." Sayaka looks up into her eyes directly now to prove she's serious with her answer. "And I won't break that promise. Just as you told me before, I know that if I held myself back to the point where you accidentally hurt me somehow, you'd never forgive yourself. And I don't ever want such a situation to arise; for either of us."
Haru's lip wobbles and her eyes water just a little. She nods.
"Yeah. I don't want that, Senpai…"
"Of course not. Neither do I." Sayaka cards her fingers back through Haru's hair, slowly easing one hand down to cup her cheek. "But what I do want, is for you to have my first time, Haru. Here. Tonight."
"Are you sure? It could be tomorrow, you know."
"Haru." Sayaka breathes deeply, conveying her honest wishes. She already feels much better now, and though her heart is still racing, it's lightened into something less forceful.
Haru must feel it for herself, and she remembers that she'd promised to trust Sayaka to tell her her honest feelings. So after drawing in a breath of her own, Haru nods.
"Okay. But don't be afraid to speak up if you need to, Senpai. About anything at all."
Sayaka coaxes her down for another soft kiss.
"I will. Thank you, Haru."
It's the quiet moments like these that speak the loudest. Tonight isn't just about satiating the heat in their stomachs or having their first time together. It isn't just about the movement and the build-up and the relief that follows.
More than anything, it's about trust, about love.
It's about the fact that they'd both pause as many times as needed to check and ensure the other is all right.
It's about the fact that they'd both hold off on their own needs in favor of the other's.
It's about the fact that they love and care about each other so much, that they are so indescribably precious to one another, that it brings them to tears.
Sayaka lets herself relax beneath Haru's touch and weight. She feels her heart beating much more steadily knowing she's near. Haru keeps a hand over her chest for a moment longer while kissing her cheek again.
Only when Haru is satisfied that her girlfriend has calmed down enough does she proceed.
Sayaka keeps her head tilted to one side as Haru softly runs kisses along the side of her neck. The hand that had previously been on her collar now moves up to the nightgown strap. Haru slides it down Sayaka's shoulder, then eases her arm free to let the nightgown as far as halfway down her side.
Sayaka shivers just a little as her collar and chest are exposed, though Haru doesn't go any further just yet. She touches her through her bra as Sayaka had done for her earlier, allowing her to adjust to the feeling. All the while, Haru kisses her repeatedly.
"Sayaka-senpai. You're so soft. You're so beautiful."
Sayaka's heart races again. Haru has said these things to her so many times before, but never quite like this; never in such a raspy whisper, and never when she's touching her so directly.
Sayaka wraps her arms a bit more tightly across her back. She tries to say something back, something haughty that lets her kouhai know she won't be outdone so easily.
But Sayaka suddenly finds her breath hitching at the top of her chest. There's a dizzy sensation starting to fill her head, and it doesn't feel right. With a gasp, she lets her know.
Haru must hear how breathless she's suddenly become, because she stops altogether and pulls away.
"Whoa, whoa, easy!" Haru exchanges her more sensual touch for something much gentler now, rubbing her palm in soothing circles across Sayaka's collar. "Senpai? Sayaka-senpai?"
Sayaka cracks her eyes open to find Haru in the beginning of a panic.
"Haru-" The rest of the words don't come.
Haru cradles her cheek gently.
"Breathe," she says. "Just breathe, okay? Senpai?"
Sayaka gives her a small nod and does as she's told. She closes her eyes to better focus on her breath, which she realizes now she must've been holding for a moment or two. She'd been so preoccupied by how nice Haru's treatment had felt that she'd neglected the necessities. Sayaka breathes deeply, and Haru's hand on her collar feels nice. A few seconds later, she feels a kiss on her forehead.
"Senpai, you're shaking. Just breathe. Don't worry about anything else."
Haru's request comes just in time, because Sayaka had just been on the verge of scolding herself for interrupting the flow of things yet again.
But it's all right, she reminds herself. Neither of us would enjoy this if I were to pass out. I needed a moment, so I told her like I said I would. I'm sure she's thankful for that.
"Senpai," Haru murmurs. "I'm glad you told me. Sorry I didn't notice sooner."
Sayaka slowly turns her face back to her and opens her eyes again. Haru's expression is somehow tight and relieved at the same time, though her eyes are still swimming with concern.
By now, Sayaka has regained her breath enough to smile honestly.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt to breathe? Does anything hurt?"
"Not at all."
"Okay." Haru lays over her again in a hug. "Do you wanna stop? It seems like this is really overwhelming for you after all."
Sayaka exhales, finding a bit more strength to hold her in return with.
"I know, and I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be! It's totally fine!"
"Thank you, Haru. But please… give me one last chance tonight. I really…"
I really want to do this with you…
Haru doesn't move for a moment, but just hugs her a bit tighter.
"Senpai… are you sure it's not too much?"
"Just once more," Sayaka insists. "I can assure you, this is only happening because I feel things so much more strongly with you. But now that I'm getting accustomed to the intensity of it, I think I can handle it."
"Wait, hold on a sec." Haru nuzzles into her neck again, then eases back to look down at her. "You can't just say stuff like that without warning, Sayaka-senpai. That you feel things more strongly with me… what the heck…"
Sayaka smiles again and reaches up to cup her cheek.
"But it's the honest truth, Haru. I've never felt emotions this strongly before. It's only now, because of you."
"Senpai… I'm gonna cry-"
"What the heck!"
Haru sobs softly, sinking down on top of Sayaka again. It assures Sayaka that it really doesn't matter who is younger or older between them; they'll both cry for each other's sake at the drop of a hat.
Sayaka lets a few tears of her own slip free as she hugs Haru close.
She has become so precious to me… so precious that I hardly even know what to do…
A moment passes before they've both composed themselves enough to go on.
Haru kisses her lips slowly, parting from her frequently to encourage her to breathe. Sayaka is mindful of herself and makes sure not to slip up again.
After a few moments of tender touches, they work their way back to where they'd been before. Haru's hand finds its way to her chest once more, rubbing softly.
Now that the nervousness has reared its head enough and been properly addressed, Sayaka feels the more favorable sensations more strongly. Everywhere Haru touches her is left warmer than it was before.
It isn't much longer before the warmth of spring starts to become a blazing sort of summer heat. It doesn't hurt, but rather ignites a flame inside of Sayaka's stomach. She hardly even realizes when Haru's hand slips beneath her bra and touches her directly. Sayaka shudders, but oddly enough she isn't the slightest bit cold.
As Haru touches her further, Sayaka busies herself with kissing her cheek or her neck - wherever she can manage. She grips Haru's back to keep herself steady, tangling her other fingers in her hair again. Her voice tumbles out, so weighted and raspy it almost sounds foreign to her.
She doesn't miss the little smirk on Haru's lips at hearing her sound so throaty. But even so, Haru checks on her.
"It feels nice…"
"I'm glad. But that's my line. Senpai, you're so soft…"
"So you've mentioned…"
Haru laughs, clearly glad to find Sayaka is finally enjoying herself to the fullest.
And she really is. Sayaka doesn't feel anything but anticipation, excitement, and pleasure at this point.
Her heart backflips again and again as Haru continues touching her. There's another kiss to her forehead, then one on her lips. Sayaka drinks her in, unable to keep herself still any longer. She shifts her legs just a little, and the next thing she knows, Haru's knee is between her thighs.
Sayaka gasps softly at the unfamiliar sensation, and she almost tenses up. That is, until she realizes it feels quite good. So rather than shy away from the contact, she allows herself to settle there.
Haru takes the inch her girlfriend gives her and presses her knee up a bit higher. Sayaka lets out her first moan.
She drags the sound of her name, and the breath catches in her throat. She hears Haru squeak.
"Senpai… oh my god…"
It's very evident she enjoyed that, and that she wants to have Sayaka make such a sound again.
She's going to have to earn it-
But just as Sayaka is thinking as much, Haru catches her off-guard and kisses her neck, grazing her teeth there very softly. At the same moment, she also presses a bit harder on Sayaka's chest, in addition to moving her knee again.
It's an ambush of three attacks. Sayaka never stood a chance. Another sound tumbles out.
She has to close her eyes, lest she get dizzy again. Or worse, realize that Haru is definitely smirking right now.
"Sayaka-senpai," she whispers. "You're literally so gorgeous."
Sayaka's pulse skips a whole beat, and then speeds up indefinitely. She doesn't even have the sense to make a comeback anymore.
"Don't worry, Senpai." Haru kisses her cheek sweetly. "Just relax. I'm gonna make you feel so good."
With this declaration, Haru removes her knee, only to brazenly hike Sayaka's nightgown up as far as her stomach. Sayaka might've chided her for it if she didn't find herself so desperate to be touched.
She keeps her eyes closed, reminding herself of how to breathe. They've come this far. She wants the happy ending Haru believes she deserves.
Sayaka feels Haru touching her through the fabric. Her whole body is boiling with heat, the flame in her stomach now spreading like wildfire across every inch of her. Haru leans over to kiss her lips again, then eases down to her chest for a moment. All the while, her fingers touch Sayaka softly lower down. Sayaka shivers with need.
Is this how she felt-?
"Sayaka-senpai." Haru calls for her again, so Sayaka cracks one eye open. Haru is smiling tenderly.
"You told me before that you feel emotions much more strongly when you're with me. So I hope this is going to feel ten times better for you than it did for me. And trust me, it was phenomenal for me."
Sayaka blinks hazily, her arms trembling as she tries to maintain her grip around Haru's shoulders.
She can't think of anything else to say. Haru is all that's on her mind and in her heart.
Leaving another kiss on her forehead, Haru coaxes her to close her eyes again.
"Relax. Breathe. All your life you've been doing things for other people. Even tonight, you made sure to make love to me first. But I'll take care of you now, Sayaka-senpai."
It really isn't fair that her younger girlfriend is sounding so confident right now, but Sayaka can do nothing about it anymore. She feels Haru's fingers waiting, rubbing slowly above her navel.
"Just…" Haru mumbles. "I just wanna be sure… Can I, Senpai?"
Sayaka exhales shakily and locks her arms more tightly around her girlfriend's shoulders.
"Please…" she moans. "Haru… please…"
Haru doesn't need to hear anymore than that. As far as she's concerned, Sayaka has already waited much longer than her fair share for this experience.
"I promise," Haru murmurs. "You'll feel so good, Senpai."
With this vow, she kisses her again, and at the same moment slips her fingers inside.
Sayaka gasps, but it doesn't hurt at all. If anything, it just feels a bit odd, but even that only lasts for a second. It's Haru, after all. She trusts her.
And before she knows it, the only thing she can feel is an enticing, wonderful heat.
Her pulse fills her whole body, and she knows for a fact Haru can feel it through every inch of her. Sayaka shifts her hips a little, and Haru eases her weight off of her a bit to let her get comfortable however she needs to. She pauses her movements for a moment, instead caressing her free hand through Sayaka's hair. She kisses her face until Sayaka finds the will to open her eyes again. She finds Haru gazing back at her with all the love in the world, and then some.
"Senpai. You're so beautiful."
Sayaka can't say anything just yet, so she coaxes Haru closer for another kiss, trying to convey her emotion that way. Haru strokes gingerly through her hair, settling her weight back over Sayaka to provide that grounding pressure she knows she prefers.
When they part from the kiss, Sayaka is left panting softly. Haru nuzzles her nose, still not moving her lower hand.
"Does it hurt? Even a little bit?"
Sayaka shakes her head.
"Not one bit."
"That's good. Do you want me to stop, though?"
"Okay!" She kisses her again.
Sayaka closes her eyes as she feels Haru start to move once more. She's never felt anything like it before.
Initially, she'd been nervous that it might feel too foreign for her to enjoy. Especially considering it was her first time, she'd been a bit apprehensive about the intrusion in particular.
But Haru is touching her so gently, so tenderly, and with such care that there's no room for anything but the most wonderful feelings.
Sayaka breathes in time with her, clinging to her back and letting Haru kiss her wherever she likes. The warmth she's always known Haru to harbor has become heat - only for her - and it's ignited a similar fire within Sayaka.
She almost can't believe it's really happening. After so many years chasing something she thought she'd never get to catch. Somehow, it had come to her in the end.
Haru keeps the pace slow for a few minutes, and eventually Sayaka realizes she's waiting for her to give permission to move otherwise. Sayaka lifts her hips just a little, changing the angle a bit. Haru takes note and responds accordingly. At the same time, she continues pampering her with kisses and sweet nothings.
"Sayaka-senpai, you're so pretty… I seriously can't believe I'm doing this with someone as gorgeous as you. And not only are you beautiful, but you're super smart, and kind, and funny. You're super hardworking and you're never given enough credit for all that you do. You're surprisingly ticklish, and a pretty good athlete, and you're not bad at cooking either. You're just so amazing, Senpai."
With every word Haru speaks, Sayaka feels her heart speeding up to match Haru's rhythm. Consequently, her breathing becomes a bit shallower.
Haru kisses her again.
"Sayaka-senpai… is this okay?" Haru increases her pace just a little.
Sayaka can only whimper in response.
"You're so pretty, Senpai."
Haru leans back in to kiss her repeatedly. Sayaka holds her closer for each one.
For several minutes, Sayaka feels the tension in her stomach coiling tighter and tighter. She almost starts to worry a little; after all, Haru hadn't taken this long. She's almost fearful something might be wrong with her.
And of course, Haru notices she's gotten a bit too tense. She slows down her pace just a little, taking note of her girlfriend's taught expression.
"Sayaka-senpai?" Haru kisses her to gain her attention, coaxing her to open her eyes again. "It doesn't hurt does it?"
Sayaka has to accept the fact that any shred of composure she'd been trying to hold onto until now is completely and utterly gone. Her breathing is a mess and her pulse is going wild. She opens her eyes slowly to meet Haru's, and feels her slow down a bit more.
"It doesn't hurt-" she gasps. "I'm just… a little-"
"Scared?" When Haru guesses the word so easily, Sayaka gives a tiny nod. Haru smiles and leaves a tender kiss on her lips.
"It's okay. There's nothing to be scared of, Sayaka-senpai. I promise you it's going to feel so good. I really really mean it."
Sayaka's heard enough. She trusts her. She really does.
She hugs her closer, panting softly against her neck.
And in spite of just how embarrassing it is, Sayaka speaks the request as if her life depends on it.
Haru has never moved more quickly in all her life than she does in that moment.
She moves at the perfect pace, creating a rhythm that feels as though it matches perfectly with Sayaka's pulse.
Haru was right. There was nothing to be afraid of. It's only feeling better and better with every second. The coil tightens further, and Sayaka matches her grip on her girlfriend accordingly.
Through this, Haru knows exactly when she's about to give. She kisses her a few more times, engraving the moment into every part of her.
Sayaka can feel she's about to lose herself. Her voice comes out thinly.
Haru kisses her again, warmly and lovingly. And just at the perfect moment, she gives her exactly what she needs.
"Sayaka-senpai, I love you."
All at once, the tension in Sayaka's stomach comes undone. She cries out Haru's name, hugging her so tightly she's all but crushing her.
The heat floods through her in waves, swelling up around her heart, which beats harder and harder. It lasts, and throughout it all, every memory she'd ever shared with Edamoto Haru seems to flash through her mind all at once. She sobs in relief, and in love for this girl.
Haru holds her tightly, keeping her together when Sayaka feels she might break apart from the intensity of the feeling. The tumult crashes through her, and then gradually begins to ebb away. The waves weaken, but the pleasure and the warmth remain long afterward.
Eventually, she gasps as though she'd really been drowning, and continues panting as the feeling finally settles back somewhere beneath her skin.
Haru showers her with kisses everywhere she can; her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her lips. Sayaka all but collapses beneath her, using the last of her strength to maintain her embrace. As soon as she's able to speak, she only uses her voice for one word.
Haru giggles, but Sayaka hears a sniffle as well.
This girl… she's so happy for me that she's crying right now...
To confirm her theory, Sayaka manages to open her eyes tiredly. Surely enough, Haru's eyes are sparkling as brightly as her smile.
"Senpai…!" Haru's lip wobbles and she quickly wipes her arm across her face. "Are you okay? Did it feel good? Wait, wait, breathe first."
Sayaka swallows a few more breaths, pulling Haru down to lie on top of her. She tries to speak, but can't make her voice work just yet. Haru senses her struggle and kisses her collar.
"No rush! Oh geez, your heart's still pounding, Senpai. Take it easy, okay? If you pass out on me now I'm not gonna know what to do-"
If she's being honest, Sayaka had almost thought that might happen for a moment there. But her desire to show Haru just how much she loved her had won out of sheer willpower. As soon as she has her voice and her breath back, she tells her.
"Haru… I love you."
"Ah-! I love you too, Sayaka-senpai!"
Haru hugs her with everything she's got. Sayaka holds her there, relishing her warmth.
For a few moments they're still. Sayaka finishes catching her breath as her pulse finally settles. Haru kisses her several more times before slowly easing off of her. As Sayaka readjusts her clothes, Haru pulls the blankets up over both of them, and then latches right back onto her.
"So?" she asks again nervously. "Did it feel good? Did it hurt at all? Does anything hurt now? Be honest."
Sayaka breathes a chuckle, reaching out to cup her face in both hands.
"Nothing hurt at all. And yes, it felt… simply incredible, Haru. You weren't exaggerating even a little bit."
"Really?" Haru lets out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I was so worried it might hurt since it was your first time, or that I might've been too rough or-"
"You? Rough?" Sayaka muses. "Haru, I never knew such gentleness existed before tonight. I felt perfectly safe with you."
Haru's smile begins to wobble again.
"Really? I'm so glad. That's… that's how it felt for me, too, Senpai… you were so gentle with me… God, I just didn't even wanna think about what would happen if I accidentally hurt you. I was so worried-"
"It was the same for me, Haru." Sayaka leaves a soft kiss on her lips. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"That's what I wanna say…"
Sayaka cards through her hair, then tilts her face closer to rest their foreheads together.
Another moment passes between them. Haru's tears stop, and she contents herself with running her hand up and down Sayaka's side again. Sayaka does the same for her. Their free hands come together between them and interlock.
"So…" Haru hums. "If you'd like… maybe we could do this again sometime?"
"My, someone is eager."
"Huh? N-No! Well, I mean-"
"I'm joking, Haru. Of course I'd love to do this with you again."
Haru perks up.
"Oh my gosh-"
"But perhaps give me a night to recover? It really did feel wonderful, but you definitely took it out of me, Haru."
"Oh, yeah of course! I-I didn't mean we'd do more tonight! Unless you really wanted to, but I totally get that this was enough!"
"Thank you. Perhaps tomorrow."
"What?! That soon?!"
"Let's wait and see how we feel, shall we?"
"Right, yeah, of course!"
"Are you kidding me? I've never been happier, Senpai. I just consider myself lucky that I could sleep with you once. But the fact that you want to do it again?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Sayaka smiles. "You're quite skilled, Haru."
"But…?" Sayaka had offered the praise, but she won't let Haru keep it all to herself. Haru understands and replies immediately.
"Oh, but you were even better, Senpai! For sure! No contest!"
"Even though it was your first time-"
"Okay, no I'm sorry, please forgive me."
Sayaka pokes her nose to chide her, and Haru chuckles sheepishly. They adjust the blankets around themselves and cuddle closer, letting their breathing match up. Sayaka waits to catch her gaze again before going on in a whisper.
"Haru… I…" She pauses, feeling the sting of tears coming on again. "Truly, I… I never thought-"
Haru stops her with a kiss. When they part, her eyes are equally watery.
"I know, Senpai. I know exactly what you're trying to say. Trust me." She kisses her cheek, then her nose. "But we did. Somehow, we found each other. We met, we started dating, we got to fall in love with each other, and now…" She trails off with a smile. Sayaka nods, and a few of her tears fall sideways into the pillowcase.
"Yes… I'm not sure how I ever got this lucky… lucky enough to have met you, lucky enough for you to have fallen in love with me…"
"Are you kidding? I'm the one who's lucky, Senpai."
"I beg to differ."
"Then we're equally lucky!" Haru decides. Sayaka chuckles.
"All right. That sounds fair."
Without another word, they meet for a kiss; softer, warmer.
"I love you, Haru. From the bottom of my heart."
Haru sobs happily.
"Sayaka-senpai… I love you, too. I love you, so, so much."
Sayaka dips her head.
"Thank you, Haru. Thank you…"
Neither of them can say another word. They just pull each other close, letting their hearts beat as one. Slowly, quietly, wrapped in the warmth of their affection, they drift off to sleep together.
Last year, Saeki Sayaka had first encountered the true warmth of spring.
She had run alongside it through the summer, huddled up with it during the fall, and come to love it like nothing else here in the winter.
And now, a new spring is on its way.
Sayaka truly can't wait to face it together with her - with Haru.
From now on, no matter what season comes her way, she will always have spring at her side.
A/N: Ahhh I just want them to be happy, so I poured my all into this final chapter! All of the softness and sincerity, along with humor and heat. I really know know if this is at all accurate to how their first time might be, but since there is no official portrayal of it, I'm just going to imagine this is canon in my head.
While I really wanted Sayaka to get spoiled (cuz that is my main objective in writing this whole story), i had to let her take the lead first for this, just so she could hold onto her pride. I think it's best it happen that way so Haru can give her full attention to her afterward and spoiling her rotten like she deserves.
All in all, I hope you enjoyed this selfish story of Sayaka spoiling. Yagakimi is hands down one of my favorite series, and Sayaka really is my favorite character, so I needed to give a contribution and write her and Haru being as happy as possible to show my appreciation.