Some things never changed.
Even though he was in his twenties now as one of the current top heroes with the world ever-so-slightly less fucked than it had been when he turned seventeen, his ability to randomly wake up in the hospital was still running as strong as ever.
Alright, he could still feel all of his fingers—well, all nine that mattered; he hadn't been able to feel his left pinky in years—so that was good. Probably. Shoulders? A hiss of pain escaped him as he realized that he really shouldn't try to move something that was some combination of bruised, broken, dislocated, or otherwise incredibly fucked up. Alright. Hands and arms good, shoulders bad.
Toes? He could wiggle them.
That was good!
Legs? Legs felt fine!
He should thank Mei. He should send her a steak dinner. Wait, Mei didn't eat steak. She inhaled it. Taste was optional to her. What on earth could he send Mei? Scrap metal?
He tried to feel his stomach but was greeted by a sharp searing pain that made his shoulders feel like a flu shot.
"Holy fuck, what hit me?"
"A train," an annoyed female voice spoke from above him. Izuku opened his eyes and saw a woman with short pink hair and glowing green eyes staring at his exposed stomach. Thick black lines spread from a blank diamond in the middle of her forehead, and even went all the way to her currently exposed arms with her medical coat rolled up. He could see the definition in her arms and the slightly sour look on her face. "My grandmother warned me about you, but I didn't think you'd be quite this bad, Deku."
Izuku blinked and looked towards his stomach. This woman's hands were literally inside of him. With a brief but sharp pain, she pulled out a shard of glass that looked like it was far too big to be inside of him. Especially with how bloodless everything was. That was a neat quirk. "Uhh, your grandmother?"
"Recovery Girl." The pink-haired woman gave a snort and stuck her hand back inside of him. That felt really weird. "She said to watch out for that punk Deku, since he'll break himself to save a kitten. And you'll be happy to know, those kittens have been saved. Now try not to flex too much, it's hard for me to remove glass like this."
"Is that your quirk?" Izuku asked, trying to get a better view of what exactly was happening. It really did look like she was just sticking her hands right through him, a bit like Mirio's quirk. That sounded pretty useful, all things considered.
She gave a slight nod and continued to concentrate on his stomach. "Part of it. It's pretty similar to my grandmother's, only I don't have to kiss strangers on the cheek to make it work."
"Just stick your hands into people?"
"That's just when people are dumb enough to get so much"—she pulled another sharp bit of glass out of him; there was no exit or entry wound from where the glass had come out—"stuff into people. It also helps me adjust bones and remove clumps of cancer."
"So, you can put your hands into people and heal them? That's a pretty neat quirk for a pretty lady."
"Ahh, that would be the anesthesia talking." She hummed and flashed him a smile. Woah, even on anesthesia, she was really pretty. Maybe he just liked green eyes or something. "And that's not even the best part about my quirk."
"Oh?" he hummed, let his neck rest, and simply experienced the odd sensation of her hands running through his stomach. What would happen if he had food in there? Or poop? "What's your favorite part?"
"I can kick your butt." She paused and then looked at him again. "Well, maybe not your ass specifically, but in terms of power I might be able to put up a decent fight against you."
"Wow, so you have like three quirks. Phasing through people, healing, and super strength. Isn't that kind of cheating?"
"Dude." She gave him a look that was almost enough to sober him right up, one delicate pink eyebrow raised up that distorted the black lines on her skin. "Isn't your quirk having lots of quirks?"
Izuku blinked and then looked up at the ceiling. "You make a very good point."
"I normally do." She pulled her hands out of his stomach and then pressed down on his abs, sending a light green pulse into him that felt like he did a dozen sit-ups in less than a second. It also made him feel a bit on the constipated side. "Now, since you're awake enough to talk, sit up so I can fix your shoulder."
He did so and stared at her for a moment. She really was rather pretty. How old was she? How come Recovery Girl never mentioned her? Wait, didn't Recovery Girl have some pictures at her nurse desk back at U.A? Was this woman there too? Wait. "What's your name?"
"Sakura Haruno," She moved behind him and he felt her hand touch his shoulder for a moment before that odd sensation of her hand sliding into him once gave him pause. "You better remember it, because I'm in charge of making sure you're in one piece."
"You're much nicer than the usual doctors."
"Oh? I'll have to fix that."
He felt his shoulder bone click back in place, which hurt just about three times as much as it did when Katsuki had relocated his shoulder one time back when they were third years. Being Recovery Girl's granddaughter probably meant it was a good idea to show Sakura the same level of respect and fear that led him to ask Katsuki to relocate his shoulder.
"So—ahh!" He hissed when he felt her continue to mess with his shoulder. Recovery Girl's quirk hurt a lot less than this, but this felt like it might be faster? "Why didn't you go to U.A.?"
"I did, I just wasn't in the hero course. I was in the general studies group." Sakura hummed and pulled his shoulder in an odd direction that gave a very nice and oh-so-satisfying pop that had his entire body feeling like he was made of jello.
"But, you have such a strong quirk, you could have been a hero if you wanted."
"I am a hero." Her voice was firm but surprisingly gentle as she continued to fix his shoulder. He felt another pulse, then his shoulder felt like it was as good as new. "But, I'm also a doctor, and it takes a lot more time to become a doctor than it does to become a hero."
"Yeah, what's with that?"
"Punching villains is easier than punching cancer."
"But, can't you punch cancer?"
Sakura gave a very annoyed sigh that just made Izuku smile. "I'm a special case, just like you're a special case." She wiped her hands on each other and gave him a very skeptical look. "Alright Deku, anything else hurt? I'd take a look at your arms, but from what I've seen already, that's a bit of a longer process than unfucking a train crash."
"You can fix my arms?"
"In theory." She shrugged. "But Grandma said I shouldn't tell you that since you'll just go breaking them again."
"I won't! I'm a lot better with my quirk now!" He stared at her for a few seconds and then gave a great big smile. "I stopped drinking my bone hurting juice."
She snorted and rolled her eyes while unrolling her sleeves. The black lines began to retract back into the empty diamond on her forehead; in a few seconds, it had filled, and a brilliant green diamond rested in the middle of her forehead.
She had a big forehead.
"That's very good. I'm going to mark that we either give you less pain relievers or just knock you out next time. You're all kinds of loopy." She grabbed onto his chart and clicked the pen a few times before she started to write.
"But if that happens, I won't get to talk to you again."
"Do pain relievers normally turn you into a flirt?" she asked with one pink eyebrow raised dangerously.
"I don't even know how to flirt." He shrugged. His shoulder felt oddly good. Wow, her quirk was great!
Sakura gave a quick smile and laughed. "Well, Deku, relax, you won't have to worry about not talking to me. I'm going to be your doctor from now on, so we'll be seeing each other a lot, especially next week when we do your physical."
"So, any time I get hurt, I get to see you."
"Yep!" she gave a sickly sweet smile and snapped the pen in her hand with ease. "But, if you get hurt on purpose just to see me, you will not be leaving that hospital bed."
"You're kind of hot when you're scary."
"Oh, I am so knocking you out next time." Sakura placed his clipboard down with the roll of her emerald eyes. She took a few steps away from his bed towards the door and turned back to him with a grin on her face. "I look forward to working with you, Deku, now get some bed rest."
"But, I feel so much—"
Her smile turned dark. "If I catch you out of that bed before 10 pm tomorrow morning, I'm going to bury you in it."
"You're kind of scary."
"You'll get used to it."
"But you're still so pretty!"
With that, Sakura left his hospital room, closing the door behind her and letting the lights fade to black.
"Oh," Izuku blinked and looked out the window. "It was night time."
After a good night's rest, Izuku felt much better. Unfortunately, he nearly died of embarrassment once he remembered everything he had said to Sakura.
He needed to never get hurt again so he'd never embarrass himself like that in front of his doctor ever again!
AN: I had a rough couple of days so I decided to indulge myself and write some Sakura.
There will be no other Naruto characters.
If you're here to say that Sakura sucks, save it, I don't want to here it.