A/N: Just a short drabble that came to my mind after watching the episode Buck Begins. I don't know if someone has already written about something similar but hey, at least we could have couple different versions.

The actual idea: What if, after Maddie told about their brother, Buck decided not to home.


"Buck, where are you going?" Maddie asked desperately as her brother opened the door and stepped outside the apartment. "Buck!"

But Buck didn't answer, only shut the door behind him and walked to his car absent-mindedly. It was like he was sleepwalking or in a dream mode, his physical body seemed to function normally but his mind was not present at all. He started the car and started driving, his sister's words echoing in his thoughts.

Daniel. He was our brother, but he died. I'm so sorry, Buck.

It felt like his whole life had been a big lie. Although Buck had always known something didn't add up, he would have never guessed it was something like this. It didn't feel real, though it was. He couldn't really think or see anything but he just kept driving, not even knowing where he was going. The only thing he could comprehend at the moment was the anger, betrayal and enormous sadness somewhere deep inside of him.

*I*I*I*I*

Maddie sat at the table, leaning on to her hands.
"Don't worry," Chimney said gently. "He'll come around it eventually."
"Yeah, but when? It's not like he has ever had any safe or rational ways to deal with negative situations. And we are talking about some whole life trauma here!"
"Let's just… maybe let him cool off, sleep on it for the night. I'll keep an eye on him tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," Maddie sniffled and nodded her head. "Can you make sure he went home? He's not replying to my texts."

Chimney went to get his phone and dialed Buck's number.
"I think he's dodging me too," Chimney said when no one picked up.
"No surprise there. Try Albert?"
Chimney called his brother.
"Hey bro! Is the danger over already?" Albert asked almost cheerfully.
"Sort of, yeah," Chimney replied. "Listen, Maddie told Buck some serious stuff tonight and he left quite upset. Does he seem okay to you?"
"Uhmm, hard to say, he's not here right now."

Chimney glanced at Maddie. "What do you mean he's not there?"
"I mean that Buck is not here."
"Well, uhh," Chimney rubbed his forehead. "He's probably on the way. Let me know when he's back there, okay?"
"Yeah, sure."

"Buck is not back at home?" Maddie asked right away when Chimney hung up.
"No, but you know, he just left a short while ago and knowing LA traffic it might take a moment or two before he gets to his apartment.
Maddie sighed, she felt so sad and even angry. Sad because of what she'd had to do, delivering the news to Buck like this, and angry because of their parents had put her in this situation in the first place. Partly she also felt a slight relief somewhere inside of her, the burden had been lifted away and she was able to breath again.

"Hey," Chimney comforted Maddie, sitting beside her and putting his arms around her. "It's okay. It's all gonna be okay."
Maddie gave her a little smile but didn't say anything.

During the next half an hour or so they waited patiently to hear from Albert. Maddie had sent couple more texts to Buck without getting any answers. She even tried to call him once, in vain. When 45 minutes had passed, Chimney called Albert again.

"Is he there yet or did you forget?" Chimney asked on the phone.
"He's still not here. Is everything okay?"
"Well for everyone's sake I hope so," Chimney shook his head and sighed. "Thanks."
"Was he there?" Maddie demanded desperately.
"No, he's not there." Chimney looked at Maddie with worry.
"It's been over an hour!"
"I know. I'll make couple calls."

*I*I*I*I*

"Hey buddy, where are you right now?" Chimney asked as carefree as he could.
"Uh, leaving the station actually," Eddie replied to the phone while walking through the fire station's hall. "I did some extra shift."
"Is Buck there by any chance?"
"No. Or at least I haven't seen him. Why? Did the family dinner not go as planned?"
"Not really, no. Has he called you or anything?"
"Err, hold on…" Eddie checked his screen. "Nope, nothing. Should I be worried?"
"I'm not sure. He doesn't answer his phone and we know he didn't go back to his apartment. We have no idea where he is at the moment."

Eddie stopped a bit before the door and glanced back to the balcony area. "I can try to reach him. I also have a backup plan."

*I*I*I*I*

The phone buzzed in Buck's pocket. He just ignored it like the zillion others before this one, he wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. Especially his sister or Chimney, he just couldn't bear it all at the moment. He needed some alone time to clear his head.

Buck wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there on the ground, staring at the darkened landscape in front of him. The lamps didn't cover the whole area very well but he could see their glimpses in the moving water further away. The sea was almost still, only small waves hitting the sand. Buck could hear the splashes even with the late evening traffic being so close to him.

He sighed deep and stared the ocean, which had so many times brought him comfort during hard times in his life. No matter what happened in life, the sea never changed, it was always the same. It was like his support beam that he could always return to. And right now he felt so crushed he almost wanted to just tear some of the wooden changing rooms down to their very last boards. Or maybe just hit something. It had taken all of Buck's strength not to do anything stupid while driving, like had used to do when he was younger. He had finally managed to pull over and now he was here, sitting on the ground, angry at the world he was in.

Buck didn't pay any attention to his surroundings. He ignored the buzzing phone, all the banging and clattering somewhere behind him in the parking lot. He was so deeply in his thoughts he didn't realize someone was approaching him.

"It is totally rude not to pick up the phone," someone said as sitting down beside Buck.
"What are you doing here?" Buck asked puzzled and glanced around to see if there was anyone else.
"Well, you did make it quite easy actually," Eddie said softly. "You have a GPS on your phone, did you know it. All I had to do is ask Athena to do some tracking."
Buck groaned and silently cursed at the phone. "That doesn't explain why you are here."
"Chimney called, and I figured you probably really don't want to see him or your sister. And I think everyone else is pretty much home at the moment, some of them asleep even, so it wouldn't have been cool to call any of them."
"And you somehow weren't sleeping?" Buck asked.
"Nope."
"So… are you going to tell Chimney I am here?"
"Already did."

"What were you thinking of doing?" Eddie asked.
Buck thought a while. "I actually don't know. I had no idea where I was going when I left Maddie's and… honestly, I felt like I just wanted to wreck that whole car."
Eddie nodded to himself. It was something he would definitely believe Buck to do in that state. Both men sat in silence for a moment.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Eddie asked finally. He knew to keep his distance to his friend, yet giving him the space and possibility to willingly sort things out.
"Not really," Buck replied, sounding depressed and plucked some random grass from the ground.
"Okay," was all Eddie said. "But eventually you have to. You know that."
"Yeah," Buck sighed.

Eddie bumped Buck's shoulder. "C'mon, let's go."
"Where?" Buck asked confused.
"To sleep. We have a shift tomorrow, remember?"
"Fine," Buck replied and got up.
"Where are your keys?" Eddie asked and Buck took them from his jacket pocket.
"Hey!" Buck shouted as Eddie snatched the keys from his hand. "What –"
"You are not driving tonight," Eddie underlined with confident. "We both know that is not a wise thing to do. You are coming with me."
"But –"
"No buts. You stay the night at my place, no rights to complain about it. You can get the car tomorrow."

Buck stared Eddie as he had lost his mind.
"Hop in Buckaroo," Eddie smiled walking backwards to his car. "We are going to have a sleepover!"


A/N: All mistakes are mine, I did not double read this at all!