Okay, put the pitchforks down. I want to say right now, this story is not supposed to be taken seriously, not one bit. Please, I'm begging, don't say anything about how someone could slap around someone else, I don't care for this story. This is a story that's just meant to be a crackfic, nothing serious. This is meant to be more humorous than the actual plot. I made Naruto basically a god just for my own entertainment. This story has no connection to my other one, so it will maybe be updated once or twice a month. My other story is still set to be updated on 2/23. If you're reading this, thank you, and have a great day!

"I don't know why Orochimaru was so interested in being immortal, this shit is borrrrrinnnnggg," said a tall, blonde man to himself. This was Naruto Uzumaki, the immortal sage, the second-coming of the sage of six paths, the holder of the Kyuubi, and the Fourth Ninja World War hero. Though, no one of this time period knew this. Currently, he was walking down the street trying to find something entertaining.

"Meh, when you live as long as I have, you just kind of lose interest in most things," explained the orange fox walking beside him. It was a sight to behold, a blonde man in Japan, which was bizarre, and an orange fox walking beside him. The fox is Kurama, the 9-Tailed Fox Demon. Right now he looked cute and cuddly, but he's still the same rampaging monster as before.

"I guess, but I will never get used to you talking in my head while on the outside. It just feels weird," said Naruto.

"I could speak out loud, but you said that would scare the humans," countered Kurama. Naruto nodded his head in resignation.

"True, but it's not like I'm wrong. Everything normal during our time is considered magical now, we'd be burned like witches in the 1600's," explained Naruto. Kurama just sighed.

"Well, for the past 2000 years you've trained a lot, why not just create your own universe or world so it's not so boring," argued Kurama, "Or, better yet, just let me destroy the planet! We can live on the moon or something," said Kurama. He was the legendary Nine-Tails! His tails destroyed mountains by accident! He would not stand any longer to be treated like a house pet! "Seriously though, what was the point of training to surpass the original Sage if you're not going to do anything with that power?! You could one tap Otsutsuki at this point!" he yelled in Naruto's head.

"Sheesh, chill out would ya!" he yelled at the fox, everyone was looking at him weirdly. Not that he cared. "I only got that strong in case they come back! Or even worse, someone more powerful came!" he explained. Naruto was going to say more, but he heard screaming from across the street.

"WATCH OUT, HE'S GOT A KNIFE!" someone yelled, women screamed. Naruto could see it all happening in slow motion, a man was yelling while running down the street, aiming to kill anyone in his way. Naruto watched as a couple was petrified, too scared to move. Another man standing near them pushed them out of the way and turned to take the knife.

'Reminds me of my younger self,' thought Naruto. He wasn't about to let someone take a knife when he could've helped though. He quickly blitzed across the street to stop the man with the knife, but something strange happened

'What the hell!' he mentally screamed. It seems like not using his speed for a while messed up his aim. Instead of stopping the knife, Naruto had positioned himself right in front of it, the knife right over his heart. He quickly moved to correct his mistake, but the knife still stabbed above his heart.

"Dammit! You are an idiot! How dare you get us killed!" yelled Kurama. He had reformed inside of Naruto to try and save him. 'There's not enough nature chakra around these cities to save him… I could Hirashin us to the nearest forest, but that may not be enough… Plus I always wanted to try a new dimension!' thought Kurama eagerly.

'Kurama? What are you doing?! I feel that build-up of Chakra, you better not be doing what I think you're doing!' he yelled mentally. Kurama ignored him and continued to do hand signs.

"Oh, shut it you brat! I'm saving us, and giving us new entertainment at the same time!" Kurama started cackling, slightly deranged.

'What? Noo! We can watch more fox-girl porn or hentai or anything! Just don't do it! I'm not ready to leave everyone's memory behind!' he screamed. Kurama paused, for just a second.

'I'm sorry Naruto, this may make you hate me, but it's also for your own good. You've been disgracing everyone's memory since they died, living in fear and reclusiveness, instead of the cheery and bright life everyone wanted for you. I may not be completely good, but even I know not to spit on someone's memory,' thought Kurama somberly. He shook his head to regain his concentration.

"Multi-Dimensional Hirashin!" Kurama yelled one last time in their mind. He could hear Naruto screaming defiance in the background but ignored it. 'Please forgive me…' Kurama thought before everything went dark.

Veldora's Cave

"Urrrgghh," groaned Naruto as he started to wake up. "Where the hell did you send us Kurama?" said a monotone Naruto. He can save his anger for later when he knew he was safe to vent.

"No idea," stated an oddly calm Kurama.

"Damn, you are a bastard, but I guess I do have to thank you. I did hear some of your thoughts, you spoke out loud at some points. I think you're right, but that doesn't mean I'm happy with it," stated Naruto.

"Nor did I expect you to be. To be honest, I had expected you to demand me to come out of the seal so you could beat me," said a relieved Kurama. Naruto was much st4ronger than Kurama at this point, there was no chance of him winning. Hitting him a few times? Sure. Long-lasting Damage? Not a chance.

"Oh, don't worry. That idea still holds some merit. I'm just saving it when we're not in someone's home. I feel a strong presence ahead of us, I can't tell how strong he is," stated Naruto.

"Well, let's go ask him how strong he is," Kurama simply said. Naruto facepalmed and went to say how stupid of an idea that would be.

"He's right you know, I haven't had anyone to talk to in a while. I'll answer any of your questions if you answer mine, human," suddenly spoke a voice. Naruto guessed it was the presence that he had felt.

"Oh alright, we'll be there in a second," said Naruto. Kurama came out of the seal at Naruto's request. Naruto started making hand signs, "Kurama, stay vigilant, we may need to fight," signed Naruto to Kurama. They had created a language from signing things with their hands. It was similar to what ANBU used but unique to them. Kurama signed back in understanding, they both nodded and went to speak with the mystery voice.

They walked for about 5 minutes before reaching a wall, it was surreal. The wall looked kind of like a giant bubble. Colors were flowing and moving throughout it, it was beautiful.

"Ah, so you've finally arrived. Welcome to my humble abode. What are your names?" asked the voice as before. Naruto watched as a giant shadow walked out in front of them, he could see it clearly once it got closer.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and this here is my partner, Kurama. He's the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon and I'm the second Sage of Six Paths, and you are?" asked Naruto politely. Being nice was the best option, plus having a friend in this world would be beneficial.

"My name is Veldora, the Storm Dragon. Such interesting name you have," said Veldora, "What are you two doing in my cave anyways? I had heard that the humans locked this cave off 300 years ago," asked the dragon.

"Oh, my apologies. We had arrived here after Kurama used a modified Hirashin to bring us here. I was going to die, but traveling through the dimensions seemed to have given me a reboot, I have no injuries," explained Naruto.

"Hmm… Strange, most Otherworlders come through summons, so this is a new phenomenon. Could any others come from your world? From what I can feel from you, and it's probably suppressed, you outclass me. There are not many in this world that can do that, and I wish to know if there are more like you," asked Veldora.

"Hmm… I don't think there would be, but then again it's complicated…" started Naruto. Veldora looked confused and asked for him to explain, "Okay I will, but afterward I want you to tell me why you're sealed, deal?" asked Naruto. Veldora nodded his head. "Well then let's get started. To understand my story, you have to understand where I got my need from strength from…" started Naruto

Naruto told Veldora everything, from Haku to fighting Sasuke, to Jiraya and his death, to the Fourth Ninja World War, to fighting Kaguya, and finally, he began to explain what happened afterward. "After the war, I began to notice that I wasn't aging properly. I chalked it up to my Uzumaki bloodline and that I was expected to live to at least 150 anyway, but I still should have aged physically. I went on to get married and have children, Baruto and Himawari. They were the light in my dark world, but I soon outgrew their lives too. It wasn't till I was 300 that I confirmed that I was immortal," he spoke softly for the next part, "I did something I regret till this very day…" he was hesitant to continue.

"It doesn't seem like you wish to continue, do not force yourself," spoke Veldora. Naruto shook his head in denial.

"No, no. Don't say that. I need to get this off my chest," Naruto spoke fiercely, but his eyes showed that he was begging to get this off his heart.

"Very well, please continue," said the dragon. Naruto nodded his head and started again.

"When I hit 300, a war began again. There were more Otsutsuki, and I could've taken them out one by one, but I wanted to end it quickly. I didn't want to see the suffering or pain that shinobi caused, so, I did the one thing I could. I wiped out everything. Women, children, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, grandpas, grandmas. No one was spared, I killed everything," spoke Naruto, sounding dead to himself, "I know what I did was right in the long run, the new earth's population was less violent, more monkey-like. They were cavemen," he explained, "By the time I was brought here, billions of humans lived on earth, easily surpassing the population during my time," said Naruto, "It was the smartest and stupidest decision I've ever made," he ended.

"You seem to carry a heavy burden, young one," Naruto got a tick mark on his head and yelled that he was over 2000 years old, Veldora ignored it, "But I do think you made the right decision, and here you can be free. Your old choices don't matter here, you can restart," said the dragon, "Let your sins become mine, we can share them. I shall give you a name, it will be imprinted on your soul, we will share sins. Give me a name as well," said Veldora.

Naruto looked confused, "Huh? Are names important around here?" he asked, confused.

Veldora nodded his head, "Very, in fact, you'll gain enough strength that it may be immeasurable at that point. Any monster that you name will evolve and have at least A to S strength," he explained, "Now, name me Naruto Uzumaki. I will give you the name Suisen for the flower that means rebirth. This world is your new start Naruto Suisen! (A/N: Translation for a flower that resembles rebirth, PM me if this is wrong)" said Veldora dramatically. Naruto laughed in appreciation, but it shifted into awkwardness.

"Excuse my non-existent imagination, but how does the name Uzumaki sound? Whirlpools can have storms in them, does that work for you?" asked Naruto. 'I hope he likes it, I had a kid named Baruto for a reason, I'm not creative. Hinata demanded she named the second kid after Baruto,' thought Naruto a little fearfully, but he heard laughter, 'Is he laughing at my lack of creativity?! I want to be mad! But he's not in the wrong…' he thought depressingly.

"Kukuku… Uzumaki… " it was silent, "I love it!" he yelled excitedly. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "Of course I will also name your partner, we'll all become partners! He should become equal in strength to me, but I don't know," spoke Veldora.

"Huh?!" squeaked Kurama, Naruto chuckled at Kurama squeaking, "I don't want a damn name!" he yelled in defiance.

"Well, too bad! Your name is Kurama Toukai (Destruction)! It will fit perfectly with your tendency to be destructive that I heard from Naruto!" said a proud Veldora. Kurama looked mad and Naruto was on the floor laughing.

"Haha! You're amazing Veldora! We should get out of here and do some pranks some time!" said Naruto while still clutching his stomach.

"Haha! We should! But there's just one tiny, little problem…" started Veldora. Naruto waved his hand for him to continue. "I'm sealed, remember?" said the dragon. Naruto's mouth made an 'o' shape in understanding, but then his eyes gained a gleam to them.

"Don't worry about that! It's a seal, right?" Naruto asked Veldora. He nodded his head in confusion, "Then it should be easy to get you out!" Veldora looked surprised, "I am the #1 seal master to every exist! Getting you out should be easier than ordering ramen," explained Naruto.

"You… You… can get me out of here?!" yelled Veldora in excitement, "I will forever be in your debt, Naruto Suisen! The three of us shall be friends forever!" he declared defiantly.

"What?! Don't drag me into your fantasies! I don't need friends!" yelled Kurama in denial. Naruto chuckled.

"Ignore him, he's a tsundere," Veldora nodded his head in understanding, "Anyway, let's get you out there buddy," said Naruto. He walked up the bubble surface and wave his hand over it, trying to see if there was anything he could use as a clue, "What can you tell me about the seal?"

"It's a hero's skill, it's said to be impossible to break," explained Veldora.

"Hehe, well then. Let's fuck up this seal then, we have some pranks we gotta pull!" declared Naruto as he took out a brush and started creating signs across the floor and onto the bubbly surface.

5 hours later

"And done!" declared Naruto, "Kurama, I depleted a lot of my chakra. Is there any chance you could stand in the circle for me?" asked Naruto.

"Hell no! I don't want to help anyone that named me like a human does a cat. Do it yourself, 'Oh great Second Sage of Six Paths,'" said Kurama sarcastically.

"Fine! I guess I will!" Naruto activated Six Paths mode and he exploded in power. His body was covered in a bright, yellow cloak. Around his back were 3 truth-seeking orbs on standby. "Making my presence known throughout the entire world… Stupid fox…" grumbled Naruto, annoyed.

He wasn't wrong in saying everyone felt his power.

Demon Lord Meeting

"Hmm? Who's power was that? Do you think they would want to play with me?" asked a girl with pink hair. She was barely covered, with only her essentials being concentrated on. This was Millim Nava, daughter of Veldanava, and a Demon Lord. Currently, she was at a meeting with the other Demon Lords.

"I doubt they would give you much of a challenge," spoke another Demon Lord. Several agreed with them.

"Hmph! I'm going to check anyway! Bye-Bye!" said Millim as she ran and jumped out the window.

Lizardmen Territory

"What tremendous power," spoke the chief leader.

"What should we do, father?" asked the female guard standing next to his seat.

"Nothing, we will just pray that they are a friend and not a foe," spoke the chief.

"As you wish, father," she said.

Goblin Village

"What was that!?" screamed a goblin.

"It's the end of the world!" multiple screamed.

"Everyone stop!" yelled an elderly-looking goblin, "Ignore that and deal with what will come soon. We must prepare to try and hold off the direwolves my son sacrificed himself to find out!" he commanded.

"Yes!" they chorused and went to craft shabby-looking weapons.

Direwolf Pack

"Father?" asked a wolf with a star on his forehead, "Will anything change because of that force?" they asked.

"No, continue with the plans to invade that goblin village. We will use this as a distraction, Veldora can't protect them if it's dealing with that strong force," he stated.

Back in Veldora's Cave

"What terrifying power… It's at least as strong as a true dragon… " Veldora mumbled to himself.

Naruto stood in the middle of a circle of seals, "Get ready Veldora! This may hurt, I don't really know," said Naruto as he started feeding the chain of seals with chakra. They lit up in a plethora of colors, the whole room was a light show.

Slowly it started to stop shining, the room was silent as everyone looked towards the seal to try and see if it worked. "Amazing!" Naruto heard suddenly, "You freed me!" yelled an excited Veldora, "You have my gratitude, Naruto Suisen," said Veldora, bowing towards Naruto.

"Hey, hey! No need to bow! I would do this for any of my friends!" he said while smiling. Veldora also smirked.

"Then I shall be proud to declare myself your friend," stated Veldora, "Now, let us get out of here! I need to stretch my wings," he said, slightly excited to see sunlight again.

"Yup! Let's go!" Naruto agreed. Kurama shrugged his shoulders, not caring either way. They walked all the way to the door that led out of the cave, it was large and looked rusted all around, "I got this," said Naruto. He made a small Rasengan and shoved it into the door, blowing it off its hinges.

The sun flowed into the cave. Naruto took a step forward but had to back up when someone came close to his face.

"Hi, there! My name's Millim Nava, want to play with me?"


And that's that. Like I said above, this is merely for my entertainment and something for me to write whenever I finish my other stories chapter. Are there going to be pairings? I don't know. Are there going to be fights? I don't know. Is there going to be humor? Hopefully. This story will be updated whenever I'm not writing for my other story, which you should go read.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and have a great day!