A/N: Thank you all for indulging with my nonsense once again. Our tale comes to a close. Will there be rescue or will they be building huts on the beach? Read on to find out!
Callen returned much sooner than he should have, a grim look on his face. "Radio's out," he said. "And I'm pretty sure even if the engine is working, we're not going anywhere. The board does…not look good."
Kensi paused her bagging and swiped a hand across her forehead. "And we're too far out for cell service."
"Does Sam have a spare radio?" Nell asked.
"He does," Callen said. "But Kam is camping with friends this weekend and he sent it with her."
"Well that's perfect timing," Nell said.
"Did you find anything interesting up here?" Callen asked.
"Just your standard bullets and whatever shell casings we dropped," Kensi said. "Nothing special or unusual that would help us identify whoever was on that boat."
"Okay then," Callen said. "And Eric? How are things over the side?"
Eric was still hanging over the railing and gave him a thumbs up without lifting his head.
Callen nodded. "Excellent."
Meanwhile downstairs Sam was pulling up the panels that hid the engine. The area was already full of water. Sam swore. "Get a bucket. We've got to get some of this out of here."
It took them ten minutes to bail enough water out to find the hole. "I'm guessing we need to patch that?" Deeks asked.
"I've got some supplies in the wheelhouse," Sam said.
"I'll get it," Deeks said, moving back up the stairs.
He and Sam worked for nearly thirty minutes to get the boat water tight again. "It's a temporary fix," Sam said finally. They were both soaking wet and dirty with engine grease. "At least we won't sink."
"What about the engine itself?" Deeks asked.
"Too wet to say," Sam said. "Might dry out enough on its own, might need to be replaced."
"But either way, we're not going anywhere for a while," Deeks said.
"Nope," Sam sighed. "We're dead in the water."
"What's our status?" Callen asked when they'd returned topside.
"Water in the engine," Sam said. "The radio?"
Callen shook his head.
The weight of the situation started to fall over all of them. Eric lifted his head, eyes wide. "Are we—-"
"No," Callen cut him off. "No, don't say anything. Let's just…take a moment, and we'll figure this out."
It was certainly something of a shock to all of them to find themselves at the mercy of the ocean. Not that they hadn't been in tight spots before, but this one seemed particularly tight and unexpected.
"Oh my god, we really are an episode of Gilligan's Island," Eric finally said in horror.
"No we're not," Sam snapped. "We're on a boat, not an island, and I have enough supplies to last us a month at least."
"Yeah spare blankets and water bottles aren't going to be much help if our new friends show back up," Deeks said, sinking down onto the deck since they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
"And I'm not really interested in subsisting on a diet of hardtack and MRE's for the rest of my life, Skipper," Callen said.
"Don't call me Skipper," Sam snapped.
"If Sam is the Skipper and Callen is Gilligan, who am I?" Deeks asked.
"You and Kensi are the Millionaire and his wife," Eric said.
"What's your reasoning on that?" Callen asked, pretending to feign disinterest.
"Well they're married."
"Unless Beyoncé or Brad Pitt take a sudden interest in buying out the bar I think 'millionaire' might be a stretch," Deeks said.
"And I'm not sure I'm good with being reduced to 'and his wife,'" Kensi said.
"Wait," Nell said, "if they're the Millionaire and his wife who does that make you?"
"The professor," Eric said with a grin. "Naturally."
"I assume I'm Ginger then?" Nell asked.
Eric squinted at her. "No Ginger would be Hetty if she were here."
"So I'm Mary Ann?!" Nell cried indignantly. "I don't want to be Mary Ann! Eric I have red hair."
"You can be Gilligan if you want," Callen offered.
"We are not Gilligan's Island!" Sam practically yelled.
"Okay, this isn't productive, we can't just sit here," Kensi said, getting to her feet.
"Some of us are lying here," Deeks said, from where he was stretched out on the deck, an arm thrown over his face.
"Nell's right," Callen said. "We need to figure something out."
"I can work on the radio," Eric said right before he blanched and had to lean over the side again.
"Yeah I think maybe I'll handle that," Nell said, her nose wrinkled.
"I'll come with you," Callen offered.
"I'll go take another look at the engine," Sam said.
"And Deeks and I will gather up any other weapons and ammo we can find," Kensi said.
"And I'll—" Eric gagged and then caught himself. "I'll stay here."
"Good plan buddy," Deeks said, patting him on the shoulder.
Nell stopped short when she walked into the wheelhouse. "Wow. Lucky shot indeed," she said as she took in the damage.
It had apparently been more than one shot, the entire board was full of holes. She took a deep breath. "I think I'm going to need a drink."
"C'mon," Callen said, reaching out and touching a couple of switches, one of which fell off and dropped heavily onto the floor. "You've seen worse than this right?"
"Have I?" Nell asked, raising her eyebrows. "This thing looks like a piece of Swiss cheese."
"Come on Mary Ann," Callen nudged her shoulder. "The Professor's been hit on the head by a coconut and the Millionaire and his wife are searching for their missing diamond so you're our only hope."
"Haha," Nell said as she began to pull out wires. "You don't have to stay up here with me."
"Are you insinuating that I don't have the skillset to help you with this task?" Callen asked with mock hurt.
Nell sent him a bemused look. "Would you rather I say it outright Gilligan?"
"Fair point. But I can hold things."
"Fabulous." She yanked hard and the entire top of the console came off. "Hold this."
"Ah," Deeks took a deep breath. "Nothing like an afternoon of weapons requisition on the high seas. Maybe after this we can swab the poop deck or walk the plank."
"Don't let Sam hear you say that," Kensi told him as she pulled a Beretta from behind a wall panel. "He'll probably take you up on it."
"Touché." Deeks looked at the weapon she'd given him and checked the chamber. "God this boat is better armed than the entire Navy. Where does he keep the grenade launcher?"
"I don't think grenade launchers are standard issue for boats," Kensi said as she clicked the panel back into place.
"Yeah well neither are Glocks, Sigs, and shot guns," Deeks said. "I'm surprised the boat hasn't sunk from the weight of the ammo on board."
"And aren't we glad he not only follows Navy mottos but the Boy Scout ones too?" Kensi said as she straightened.
"This takes 'always be prepared' to a whole new level," Deeks said as he strapped a Glock to his thigh.
Kensi checked her watch. "Well I guess we're not getting back in time for dinner with your mom tonight."
"Gee what a shame," Deeks said. "Missing dinner with my mother and her new boy toy might actually be the silver lining to this tragedy." He scratched at his neck. "Although she is definitely going to freak out if we don't show with no warning. She'll probably call the Pentagon."
"Well then at least someone will be looking for us," Kensi said. "Can you imagine if your mom ends up being the one to save our asses out here?"
"Oh god," Deeks groaned. "We'll never hear the end of it. She'll want a medal of honor."
"Well at least then we'd be rescued instead of having to live out our days on a deserted island," Kensi said.
"I don't know," Deeks said. "Might not be so bad."
Kensi raised her eyebrows at him. "You realize there are no cronuts on a deserted island."
"Yes," Deeks said. "But there are also no bad guys with guns. Or bills."
"No indoor plumbing, no beer…"
"We can make coconut beer," Deeks said then did a double take. "Actually, that's not a bad idea."
Kensi grimaced. "Yeah, no. It's a pretty terrible idea."
"Damn it!" Sam swore as the wrench he was using went splashing into the water.
"Everything okay down here?" Eric's voice drifted down the staircase.
"My boat is full of holes everything is damn well not okay," Sam huffed.
Eric finished his descent and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "You need any help?"
"I thought you were losing your lunch over the side," Sam said.
"I think the bracelet is finally kicking in," Eric said, holding up his wrist. "I'm ship shape now!"
Sam studied him for a moment and then pointed the rescued wrench at him. "If you puke down here…"
Eric held up a hand. "I will not. I promise." He took a step closer. "Mind if I take a look?"
Sam sat back. "Be my guest."
Eric poked around for a few minutes. "Nothing looks cracked or broken." He fiddled with some more connectors. "I'm guessing you got water in the fuel."
"Yeah that's what I thought," Sam said, face showing defeat. "Nothing we can do about that out here."
He tossed the wrench against the wall where it made a dull clanging sound before it dropped back into the water. "Hey, this isn't your fault," Eric said.
"I know it's not my fault. Doesn't stop me from being mad about it." Sam was seething. "If I find out who did this I'm going to put them in the ground."
"You could send them to Davey Jones' Locker," Eric said with a grin, which he quickly wiped off his face at the sight of Sam's now perpetual glare. "Or not. The ground is fine."
Sam stood. "Come on. Nothing else we can do down here. Might as well go be useful somewhere else."
"Aye aye Skipper!" Eric said with a mock salute.
"Call me Skipper one more time and you'll be floating home in a life preserver."
Kensi and Deeks headed up to the wheelhouse to arm Callen and Nell then met Sam and Eric on deck to do the same. "Any luck with the engine?" Kensi asked.
"Tank is full of water," Sam said. "Can't pump it out here."
"So we're sitting ducks," Deeks said.
"Pretty much," Eric said. "How's Nell doing with the radio?"
"It's a mess," Kensi told him. "There's wires and tape and I don't even know what else."
"I'll go see if she needs any help," Eric said.
"You doing okay?" Kensi asked Sam.
He shook his head. "I'm just sorry we're in this mess."
Deeks put a hand on his shoulder. "They got the jump on all of us. There's literally nothing we could have done."
"Hey," Callen appeared. "Eric said the engine's no good?"
Sam shook his head. "Looks like Nell's our only hope."
"So…no different from any other case?" Deeks asked with a grin.
"Pretty much," Callen said.
"So I guess we just…wait?" Kensi asked.
It turned out they were incredibly bad at waiting and doing nothing. And it didn't help matters when half an hour later Nell and Eric returned, Nell in a particularly bad mood. "It's totally fried," she griped, dropping down next to Callen on the deck. "Nothing we can do."
None of them liked being beaten. It might have helped if they could have just sat back, had a couple beers, done a little more fishing, and hung out while they waited for a rescue from some passerby. But with the threat of possibly sinking or their new enemies returning to finish them off, nobody felt safe enough to get even slightly inebriated.
That didn't seem to matter after a while as Eric and Deeks began to brainstorm increasingly complicated scenarios to get themselves out of this mess. "Titanic!" Deeks said with a snap of his fingers.
"Yes!" Eric said excitedly. "We just take the door off the wheelhouse—"
"No one is taking my boat apart anymore than it already is," Sam growled.
"One of us could swim for it," Callen said mildly, stirring the pot in the subtle way he enjoyed so much.
Eric eyed Sam critically. "How long can you hold your breath?"
"What about Otis?" Deeks asked.
"What about Otis?" Sam was looking beyond irritable at this point.
"Lassie got little Timmy out of the well every week…" Deeks said with raised eyebrows.
"He's not a trained monkey!" Sam said. "Besides, he doesn't come this far out."
There was a moment of stymied silence. "What if we manage to make landfall and spell out SOS in the sand?" Eric asked.
"If we make landfall I want my hut by the good coconut tree," Callen said.
"First of all we're anchored, second of all if we did make landfall it would be on an island controlled by the Navy, so we'd already be rescued," Nell said.
"Smoke signal?" Deeks asked.
"Build a raft out of life vests?" Eric countered.
"Train two dolphins and water ski!"
"Oh my god I can't live on an island for three years with the two of you!" Kensi said.
"You don't want to reenact Castaway with me babe?" Deeks asked.
Callen raised his eyebrows. "In that situation, which one of you is Tom Hanks and which one is Wilson?"
"Oh my god, this is starting to feel a lot less like Castaway and a lot more like Lord of the Flies," Nell huffed.
"I think it's about to get a lot more Captain Phillips," Eric said in alarm, pointing toward the water.
Sure enough the boat from before was speeding back toward them. "Everybody arm up!" Sam yelled.
They all ducked below the railing, weapons at the ready. "They've got us seriously out gunned," Callen said as he cocked his rifle.
"Then we've got to make them think we've got more firepower than we do," Sam said.
"Any chance you've got a harpoon on this thing Captain Ahab?" Deeks called.
Within minutes gunfire began to pepper the side of the boat again, all of the agents returning fire as best they could with their limited supplies.
"I'm out!" Deeks yelled far too soon.
"Me too!" Callen yelled.
Kensi popped up over the side and spent her last few rounds. "That's it for me!"
A terrible realization began to settle over the group as their ammo was spent. "Okay," Callen said, voice slightly thick with emotion. "They're going to take the boat. Do what they say. And if you can see a way to get out…take it. Don't worry about the rest of us."
Kensi and Deeks locked eyes, their hands automatically finding one another. Nell and Eric did the same, both a little pale. Sam looked at Callen. "I'm not holding your hand."
"Wouldn't expect it big guy."
The gunfire intensified, causing all of them to huddle closer to the deck as wood splintered and flew in their faces.
And then, when all hope seemed lost, a siren shattered through the gunfire and suddenly they weren't being sprayed with bullets anymore. The team exchanged quizzical looks and then Callen popped his head over the side, ducking back down almost immediately. "Oh thank god."
"What? What is it?" Kensi asked anxiously.
Callen took a breath and let his head fall back in relief. "It's the Coast Guard."
"Seriously?!" Everyone scrambled upward to take a look.
"Oh my god," Nell said, thumping down onto the deck in relief. "Oh my god."
"I will never make another negative Coast Guard joke as long as I live," Deeks said fervently.
The gunfire finally ceased all together and the Coast Guard ship drew close to them. "This is the US Coast Guard. Prepare to be boarded."
Weapons were dropped immediately as they all found their badges and ID's. Within minutes they were being hooked up for a tow as a second Coast Guard vessel appeared to help deal with their drug runner pals. "How on earth did you find us?" Callen asked one of the guardsman.
"Craziest thing I've ever seen. This sea lion came up to the boat and wouldn't leave us alone," he said. "We ended up following him and he led us right to that drug boat."
Shock and surprise crossed all their faces. "Somebody owes Otis is a very large mackerel," Callen said.
By the time they reached the dock everyone was exhausted and more than a little cranky. "Ow!" Deeks said with every move.
"I told you to put on sunscreen," Kensi admonished.
"I was a little busy trying not to die," he shot back.
Nell was still bemoaning her inability to get the radio working. "If we'd just connected the—"
"Let it go," Eric advised, putting an arm around her shoulders.
"You can't stay on the boat tonight," Callen argued with Sam. "It's full of holes and doesn't have a working engine."
"I've stayed in worse places," Sam argued back.
"Sam, why don't you come to our place," Kensi offered.
"Yeah at least we have furniture for you to sleep on," Deeks said, looking pointedly at Callen.
"I have a bed!" Callen protested.
"Yes, one bed. Are you two going to cuddle all night long?" Kensi asked.
"Thanks, but no thanks," Sam declined. "My boat and I will be just fine."
As it turned out it was not fine. The dockmaster wouldn't allow the boat to stay in the condition it was in. "Well then Skipper, looks like you're coming home with us," Deeks said.
"You can rub some aloe on Deeks' back," Callen said with a smirk.
Sam wrinkled his nose. "Nobody had better be rubbing anything near me."
A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave your love in the reviews!