Sam is still in shock.
They're only halfway back to Bobby's place and Sam's fingers are still vaguely trembling against his thighs. He curls them in fists to try and control it. Dean has been drumming his fingers against the steering wheel in time with cassette he put on the second they got in the car and it's probably not going to stop.
Even with Aerosmith blasting through the speakers there is silence and it's oppressive. The despair, anger, and shock hangs heavy between him and Dean but there's nothing to break it with. Nothing to comfort them or explain what had happened. Sam really isn't sure how they're going to tell Bobby about everything that happened, or rather didn't.
He leans his head against the the window and let his eyes go unfocused. He knows he won't be able to fall asleep anytime soon but he needs some kind of reprieve from the horror of everything that's happened to them in the past twelve hours. He shudders, the reality that everything has gone to hell, quite literally, in less than a day hits him hard. He swallows thickly against a hurricane of emotions and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that everything would just go away for a few moments.
Somewhere after Omaha he falls into a fitful sleep.
He's startled awake by Dean slamming his door shut which is quickly followed by Bobby's front door. He'd worry about his brother but there's so much more for him to worry about, things that are much more pressing. He sighs shakily and runs his hands over his face, rubbing the grit from his eyes and trying to wake himself up even more. He's slow to get out of the Impala and into Bobby's house. When he finally joins the two others in the living room Bobby's face is carefully blank but pale. Behind them the television is playing news about death and destruction in Paulding county. He can't quite bring himself to look either of them in the eyes but he goes over to stand by them, letting a hand rest on Bobby's shoulder.
The older man allows it for a few seconds before shrugging it off and wheeling himself behind his desk. He grabs something before turning around to face the small fire that's going in the fireplace. Sam and Dean silently go and join him and find the photo they took just the day before in his hands.
Sam's lips tremble and he presses them together tightly. Dean clenches his hands. The three pair of eyes trace the faces of the women in the picture before Bobby gently places it in the flames.
Once it's completely burned and there's nothing but ash left Dean stomps his way out of the house and seconds later the two left behind can hear the rumble of the Impala starting and pulling off of the property.
Sam follows his brother out at a more sedated pace.
He walks through the empty husks of cars on Bobby's property and breaths in the cool air, trying to calm himself down. He had seen Jo as a sister and to have that ripped away from him was unfair and heartbreaking. Not just her either but Ellen as well, a woman he had looked up to and seen as a mother figure. Why does he have to kill everyone around him? He pulls at the collar of his t-shirt as his breathing gets heavier.
Why? He gasps for breath silently as he leans against a car, his head in his other hand. A familiar, heart-stopping thought skids into his mind. I should just save everyone the trouble and kill myself. A sob breaks through and he slides against the car, almost falling down. Please. It's a wish, an errant thought, a prayer for peace and calm.
He doesn't hear the soft sound of wings over the sound of his own thunderous heartbeat and breath. However, a horribly familiar voice calling of his name does get his attention. He peers up and something inside his chest and gut twists. He can only murmur out the ArchAngel's name between gasping sobs.
"Hey, what's going on Gigantor?" A warm hand unerringly slides across his shoulders. It shouldn't comfort it, he doesn't want Gabriel of all beings to comfort him after all he's done to Sam, but he finds himself relaxing a bit even if it doesn't help out his breathing.
He screws his eyes shut and shakes his head even as the warm hands grab his biceps and pull him up so his ass is planted on the bonnet of the car.
One hand stays on his arm, keeping him up, but the other drags across his skin to grasp Sam's chin. "Panic attack, huh? Gotta breathe evenly there kiddo, come on."
When he opens his eyes he's looking into Gabriel's eyes. In the burning holy oil they'd left him in weeks ago they'd looked like steel, cold and unrelenting. Now, in moonlight they look almost brown, warm and calm. It's another small thing that brings Sam comfort he feels guilty and strange in taking. Almost unconsciously he matches his breathing to Gabriel's.
The shorter man offers a small smile, faint joy lines crinkling his eyes. "There ya go." His thumb taps Sam's chin before his hand moves back to Sam's arm. "Now, want to tell me what was making you all doom-and-gloom?"
Sam feels the shutters closing behind his eyes and looks away from Gabriel who tsks but doesn't move or demand Sam to look at him. After a few minutes of silence Sam speaks in a raspy, slightly waterlogged voice, "We went to Carthage. Ellen and Jo- they didn't … they didn't make it." The hands on his arms tighten momentarily. "And the Colt, it doesn't work on Lucifer."
"You two have the Colt?" Is the surprised question that follows with a sigh. "Of course you do. If anyone did it'd be you two crazy kids. And I'm sorry about your friends." The sympathy stands out, it's said in the same serious manner when Gabriel revealed who he was.
Sam falls an inch forward into Gabriel's space in some strange relief. "Thanks," he croaks. He raises a hand to wipe away his tears; Gabriel's hands beat him to the punch. His stomach flips and twists strangely again. He looks back at the ArchAngel and finds that soft, almost smile still there. He licks his lips and sniffles. "What're you doing here? I thought you were done with us and the whole Apocalypse mess."
Gabriel shrugs noncommittally, "Something about watching idiots sacrifice themselves for the world is entertainment too good to pass up on." Sam scowls at him; he quickly amends himself with a put-upon sigh, "Your brother was annoyingly right, okay? I've been running a long time, unwilling to stand up to my brothers. I'm putting my lot in with you humans."
Sam blinks in surprise and manages a small grin himself. "Are you serious? You're going to help us?"
Gabriel makes a face like he's thinking very hard about it and sucks on his teeth. "Not sure about the whole 'us' part; I don't think big bro likes me all that much. But I'll help you Sam, if you want me to."
"Please." It's a revelation whispered into the air between the two of them. Gabriel looks at Sam - the boy with demon blood, his jaded brother's vessel, a man with anger issues and a too trusting heart - in sharp surprise.
There's minutes of silence between the two of them. Minutes of sizing each other up, weighing the possibilities, of making decisions and creating lines to cross or to toe, slowly relaxing slightly in each others' presence despite the comforting Gabriel gave Sam not moments ago. The air is charged and still as Gabriel finally moves, arms reaching once more for Sam. Sam who is still and holding his breath to see what Gabriel is doing. He tenses slightly before minutely relaxing as the ArchAngel's arms curl around the hunter's neck and pull him close, snugly fitting Sam's head underneath his chin.
They each have a few breaths in this position.
Then Gabriel's left hand runs up Sam's neck to card through the hair at the nape of his neck as Sam wraps his arms around Gabriel's waist, hands resting on his hips as his spreads his legs slightly to pull Gabriel and his excessive body heat closer so they're fit together more comfortably.
For the first time in a long time Sam feels safe, comforted by the surprisingly strong arms wrapped around him and allows himself these scant few moments to not have to be strong.
Gabriel is a bit shocked at how the human seems to be so easily relaxing against him but preens under the trust placed in him. It's been a long-ass time since someone wanted Gabriel's touch or found comfort and peace in it. He closes his eyes as they hold each other, enjoying the sweetness of them catching each other from crumbling.