I've had a wee bit too much mead and I wanna write something goofy as fuck.
Cinder had done it. She had finally done it. The Wyvern was under her control, Beacon was burning all around, and now Pyrrha Nikos, the school's golden child, was kneeled before her, defeated. She smirked as she drew her bow and nocked an arrow, preparing to end this once and for all. Then she felt something impact her back. It wasn't very hard, it felt like a pillow but harder than normal. She looked behind her to the floor and saw something that utterly baffled her.
It was a parrot. Or at least, it was supposed to be one. It looked like an oversized children's toy with wobbly googly eyes that shook about aimlessly. She stared at it in confusion, looking around quickly to see who threw it but not seeing anyone. Then it made a slight squawk and a chat bubble straight out of a video game popped up above it with a message.
IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE
Realizing she was being threatened, she quickly re-nocked her arrow and began spinning around, trying to find whoever had sent that. But she stopped when she felt something hard and cold press against the back of her head. She slowly looked behind her and saw something that confused her even further. It was another of those strange toy things, but it was solid red and shaped like a very basic person. It had no nose, no mouth, ho hair or ears. Hell, it didn't even seem to have fingers or toes, the weapon it was holding just seeming to stick to its hand. All it had in the way of features was a pair of googly eyes similar to the parrot, but this one was staring directly at her in a surprisingly intimidating way, eyes wide open with no emotion. And what was even more outrageous was the ridiculous pickle outfit it was wearing, it wasn't even wearing shoes.
And then there was its beyond strange weapon. It looked like a .50 calibre sniper rifle, but it's barrel was so long it was pressing against her despite the thing standing right on the edge of the tower. Along with that, it seemed to somehow be double barreled, the barrel splitting off right at the end.
"What the fuck are you?" She asked more out of confusion than anything else. It stood there in silence for a moment, just staring at her with that thousand yard stare before it said a single word in a voice that sounded like a human trying to emulate a robot trying to emulate a human. It was also half yelling and was also strangely polite.
"HELLO." It spoke before somehow firing the weapon, her able to just barely dodge the dual high powered bullets. She spun and got in a combat position before turning back to her opponent, only to see the thing careening off the tower, the immense recoil of the gun sending it flying. It crashed through the roof of a nearby building and she looked down at the hole it made, confident it had just killed itself. Then its head popped out of the hole and it looked up at her, once again pulling out the freakish weapon. She ducked back just in time to avoid the bullets, completely confused. What the hell was happening?
"HMMM." She heard behind her in that same voice, but this time it was a bit deeper. She whipped around with her bow ready, but was shocked even further to see what had to be ten of the damned things circling her, the Wyvern nowhere in sight, but there were some differences. Some were the regular red, but others were blue, and all of them were wearing a number of strange outfits ranging from knightly armor to chicken suits. And they all had large miniguns with what looked to be double barrels attached to every single normal barrel. The one in the middle, the one who she assumed had spoken, was slightly shorter than the others and was wearing a tracksuit with a deer skull on its head. Then it spoke again, one word at a time like it was spitting out pre programmed responses.
"YOU. ALIVE. BAD." It said before all of them opened fire at once, bathing her in a wave of high powered bullets and shredding her in seconds.
This piece of shit isn't even 1k words lmao