75Shikamaru is maybe getting too used to being carried places, because when Naruto charges up to him one day after the Academy lets out, Shikamaru just goes limp and lets himself be scooped up into a fireman's carry.
"Um," Chouji says.
"Huh," Kiba adds on.
"Let's go play ninja!" Naruto cries and basically just threatens the two of them with his Nara hostage.
A passing Sasuke rolls his eyes and continues for a few more steps before he realises that he left his tomatoes in that apartment last week.
Sasuke gasps in horror and turns towards Naruto. "My tomatoes!"
Kiba starts backing away, the puppy flopped over his head also looking sceptical. "Actually, I hear my mum calling me-"
Chouji drops a salt and vinegar dusted hand onto Kiba's shoulder, the other gripping the chip bag tightly. "I can't leave Shikamaru."
"That sounds like an Ino-Shika-Cho problem. Imma head back to my Inuzuka."
"No, no, no. You mispronounced it. Inu-Shika-Cho. A lot of people get this wrong actually."
"Yeah, ninja-tag!" Naruto cries happily and runs off with his Nara.
The other three are forced, by various reasons, to follow.
None of them notice Ino and Sakura hiding behind some bushes to spy on Sasuke, which is impressively blind considering Ino is lilac and platinum blonde while Sakura is bright pink.
To be fair, Hinata is definitely not camouflaged but no one noticed her hiding place either.
"Where do you think they're going?" Sakura whispers to Ino, blushing a bit because Sasuke might have, possibly, vaguely looked in the general vicinity of where the girls are hiding as they stalk him.
"We should follow," Ino decides immediately.
"C-can we?" Sakura asks hesitantly. "That's a lot of, um, clan kids…"
Ino scoffs. "My two don't count, and then there's a dog and a civilian. You'll be fine." Ino stands up and brushes off her dress. "Come on, let's go imprint our presence on Sasuke so he eventually acknowledges us and then relaxes so it'll be too late by the time he realises we've conditioned him to love us."
"Um, okay," Sakura says, happily following her best friend, who maybe says some weird things but that's typical of a clan kid.
Neither of them understand what a husband actually is, they just think Sasuke is cute and want to cuddle him a lot. To be fair, a lot of people want Sasuke-cuddles.
Sasuke starts making adorable whining noises when he can't find his tomatoes anywhere. It may be because he also discovered that the cupboards and such also have lightning seals on them and got stung.
Naruto has dropped Shikamaru onto a massive black bulldog that has an equally large spiked collar, well groomed and healthy. Shikamaru thinks it might have an owner that just lets the dog wander around and it found its way to the dog flap.
The dog wuffs at Shikamaru but doesn't move and makes a surprisingly good bed. The dog is certainly not an Inuzuka breed considering Akamaru slides off Kiba's head and burrows into the jacket, peeping up at the big bulldog only to yip and duck away again.
Kiba hunches his shoulders and looks around cautiously because something feels odd about this place, but it does smell mostly like dog and faint Naruto.
Chouji, ever since he first (after much sucking in and wriggling) fit through the dog flap, was immediately tackled by four of the strays in the room trying to roll around in his delicious scent to take with them when they leave.
The bulldog makes that low barking sound again, lazy, and the strays back off but spin around in circles and try to act cute.
Naruto has squatted down to pet them. He's seen them all before, when they were still feral and would tear into the couch pillows and snarl when Naruto got close. They've been tidied up now with properly cut and combed fur, injuries half healed.
Someone takes care of them when they're out there on the street and Naruto is glad for that. They're all good dogs, just a bit scared and betrayed one too many times.
Naruto wants someone to take care of him too.
The flap slaps up and Ino rapidly scuttles through with a whip of her high ponytail. Kiba screams in fright and Shikamaru actually sits up on the bulldog-couch, clutching his chest in shock.
"No," Sasuke says immediately.
"Sa~su~ke," Ino croons, rising to her full (quite short) height. "Oh, husband." Ino stalks towards the Uchiha menacingly with a manic grin.
Sakura awkwardly tries to get through the flap without looking too embarrassing and ends up flailing a lot. "Ino, I thought he had to get used to us first?"
Ino sighs but pauses and refixes her hair. "Fine. I shall be patient. Sasuke, you have until Tuesday to sign our marriage papers."
"Tuesday is tomorrow," Chouji points out.
"I'm not that patient," Ino scoffs. "Anyway, what are you two doing here? I'm telling your dads you broke into a house."
"Technically you broke in too so you're an accomplice," Shikamaru says.
"Got you there!" Naruto chimes in with a laugh.
Ino pauses.
Sakura, finally freed of the dog flap, pops up beside Ino. "Yeah, but her dad is a higher-up in T&I so nepotistic corruption means it'll all be hushed over."
"What she said," Ino calls back at Naruto.
Shikamaru blinks. "Sakura just said your dad was corrupt."
Ino whirls around in outrage.
Sakura shrugs. "I mean statistically… I read about it in a book."