WARNING: STUPIDITY AFOOT
This is a collection of silly, slapstick comedy and parody stories revolving around Vegeta and Bulma, starring all the characters of the Dragon Ball Z - GT - Super universe in no particular order or canonical style.
The O.G True Pairing
One day, Mrs. Briefs who is Bulma's mother was slaving away cooking and cleaning the house and doing nothing else of interest besides licking her closed eyelids for some reason that she never opened as Vageata came out of the Gravity Chamber all shirtless and sweaty.
Now, Vageatah was her daughter's science project that she had been yelling at to make sure he got stronger all day while he cooked away in the Grumpy Chamber, doing upside down push-ups and making his nose get sweaty.
Bulma was meanwhile, so busy busy busy drinking coffee and ficing his bots that he was always busting the nuts out of. She was so haggard and so tired she looked like a grandmother, with her pale complexion and her azure cerulean blue seafoam hair all frizzy and poofy in a ball around her head.
Bunny was so hungry because Vegeta had eaten the fridge and all the milk and orange juice he drinks for big muscles that she had nothing left to make for dinner.
-SIGH- Whatever will I do?" Punchy thought as her tummy grumbled. She opened the fridge and bent down to look inside, her large behind wiggling back and forth as she searched the contents of the refrigeration. Mr. Beefs was meanwhile. enjoying his daily paper at the table, munching on the science section as his cat Scratch was smoking a cigarette.
"Oh, would you look at that that big brute managed to leave me a block of Velveeta and a roll of Bologna. Until I can get to the grocery story , this will have to do . ' She said, and pulled out both huge food items.
Mrs. Beifs got to work on her angry alien masterguest's feast and Bulma's dinner.
"GRRRRAHHH!" He screamed, shaking the walls of the G.R. Sparks was sparkling out all around him as he was jumping and dodging the flying robots, who were able to mimic his every action.
He was so shiny and so masculine in nothing but his tiny black tight shorts melted perfectly to the shape of his erect pelvis.
"I must become a super duper Sayaian, and surprise Kakkarrott with my strength and overload his senses!" He grunted, blowing up the bots as they swung around him and he shot his heated, white beam shot at them and make them exploded right away. But then, the Gravity chamber started to make noises as the whole thing was shaking, and the force was at 500mgjs of pressure and he got mad and blasted at the core of the shamber.
Shrapnel exploded into his legs and stabbed into his chest as the whole thing began to collapse. if only Bulma wasn't so busy in the lab and being mad at her longtime boyfriend Yamcha who always cheated when they were playing Fall out of Dooty and mad him tea bag her zdx his opponent.
Bulma ran up the stairs to the kitchen to make more coffee. She had a bad addiction to the stuff and if it wasn't that it was smoking strawberries.
"Dad! Dad, I got the project I didnt have to do done, can you please finish my robots later and I'll pay you in newspapers for Scratchy's litterbox!"
"Hm, what was that Pumplin?" " The doctor said, as he dabbed his grey and lavender handlebar moustache that Vegeta envied with every fiber of his whole grain being. Wishing he could have such a luxurious moostache.
"Oh darling dear, I made you and that sexy man some sandwiches to eat while you admire his but cheeks"
"MOM!" bulma scratched, but If she was lying she had to omit that she loved his tight bottom.
"UUUHHHGGGH!" She groaned, why did she have to keep thinking about the Prince in such ways, ever since she had that wet dream about him kissing her, and he was a good juggler to boot!
"What was that! " They all screamed.
Yamcha and his flying floating friend the blue cat thing called Poo-R burst into the kitchen.
"Bulma, you have to come quick with me, the gravity chamber has exploded!" He said. hoping that Vegeta was finally dead.
"Get out homeboy, make way!" Bulma gasped , and pushed past him and the cat.
"Oh dear, but what about all my sandwiches ?" Bonny said, her hand covering her mouth.
BACK TO VEGITA
Black. He was knocked out unconscious as the blood seeped out from all his appendage. Vegeta hasn't been expecting the blasted thing to blow up like it did, probably because of the blasted woman always making demands to have sex with him instead of her inferior low life weak- faced boyfriend of a long time.
"VEGETA YOU BAKA!" She screamed atop her lung, and began flunging large chunks of metal out of the way, one hitting Yumucha in the head as Poo-R was crying.
"Bulma, what are you even upset about him, I'm the boyfriend and I make the sex happen " Yamcha sneered, his arms crossed and scruffy face sullen.
"Shut up, I'm worried about him, he's stuck and nobody can help him!" She squealed, then an arm blasted out of the clutter, and Vegeta started to get our of the mess he wad in.
But then, just as all that was happen. there was a hug expulsion. again. Suddenly. the sky was all a light with crackles and smoke, as fireworks went off announcing the Immorttal Salamender's appearance. Someone had made a wish on the Dragon's Blall's again.
%$# %%$ $:!'h
"IMMORTTAL SALAMEDER, HEAR MY COVER BAND PLAY THIS SONG OF YE PERL JAM PEPPERS"
But the dragon was not at all applauded. He was in fact very upset by this rendition of his totes fave song, Jimmy's Dead and I did Drugs again.
The pig that has made the wish wad all the sudden, made in to a pair of girl's underwear as payment for his failure. And now, all the world had gained his shape changing ability.
Dun dun dun
Mrs. Preifs's Perspective of the Event.
"How terrible this all has been , my poor Veggie is dead!" She cried, her husband scratch consoling her by kneading her chest.
"Vageta! You cant stand yet!' Bulma whimpered, as she crawled down to his arm, and lifted his leg up to better address Jim. "Why are you helping that scumbag he's not worth your rescuing " Yamaha said, crossing his legs over his head.
"Don't touch me, filthy human harlot!" Vegita snapped, then made a pathetic moan . "Look what I can do!" He said, and showed them how he could stretch out his leg and show them his balls like a cat.
" That's enough of that, Vegeta I can see youre a big man, but you are not well enough to do tricks yet!"
Punchy bent down and went to assist them, when all the sudden, lights struck down from the sky, and hit everyone. It was amazing but very frighten.
Suddenly, Yamcha fell and curled up in a ball. He was ded. Paur ran to lift him over her head, and scrambled off to see if she could get a good price for him on the black market
Nobody noticed that Yamcha was escorted of. They we re all staring at Vegeta, and ge and Bulma had hugged one another as the blast was made, and when Bunny bent down with her sandwich es tray, they had switched places.
There were a ton of weird bread slices
in her hands, skin made in the shapes of Vegeta's favorites penis with Bulma's hand grasping it. She picked it up and kissed it goodbye, and tucked it in her pocket as a snack for later. But then, as she looked down at the ground, there was nothing left but a sandwich.
"Vegeta? Bulma? But there wad only a Velveeta and Bologna sandwitxg on the grass.
$% sad moment #%# !#
Jimmy Is Dead.
Man Hes dead again.
Thought I'd made a friend
I did drugs while I made this song
and Moaned into the microphone
I stayed awake,
and I made a mess aga-ayan
Uh-Huh . Huh!
I love to smoke marigolds
and sit in pots all day
While my friends are in skool
learning how to be scientists
Jimmy Came to Skool one day
and thought he was a rocket scientist
Licked the bad spoon
and now hes ded
while all his friends looked aware
I stayed in bed and
touch my self to
Perl Jyam Peppers, Jimmy is Dead
ok back to the story now
It had been 10 months since Vegeta and Bluma had been made into sandwiches. Life went on as usual, but the house was always empty. Mrs. Briefs sighed.
"How I wish I could get those two back together again " She softly said, and then sighted. On her plate, was a delicious looking grilled bologna, and velveeta sandwich. She cried. and made big tears on the sandwic.
"At least now, they'll be together forever." She said, and bit into it. it was delicious. It had all the flavors of their lives mixed in with salty carbohydrates.
Ok that was really sad guys. Can you please like this and leave reviews if you want me to write more. I rely like Vegeta and Bulma and I promise the next chapter will be written much bettor.
Actual A/N: Ok, yes that was terrible and nearly impossible for me to get through writing, but it gave me a few laughs and I promise the upcoming chapters will be more serious. I am not making fun of anyone's fanfiction in particular, I've read thousands, and have seen these same errors and funny mistakes within, along with my bad jokes. I don't want anyone to be offended, its just for laughs. I love Vegeta and Bulma, so don't think this is out of hate or slander. Here are the next chapter ideas I have planned :
A Day in the Life of Scratch
So stay tuned for more ridiculousness, and maybe check out my real stuff ?