I do not own Oregairu


"You haven't forgotten about the challenge, have youuu? I found another one." Haruno cheerfully said. Shit, I really had forgotten! The last Miura story was read in her absence. But now we are pretty much throwing oil onto the fire queen.

"Is that really necessary?" I whisper-screamed to the devil incarnate. Others subconsciously looked towards Miura, except for Hayama and Kawasaki who didn't know what was happening.

"What? You got a problem?" Miura glared while saying in a loud voice. This is going to be a long day.

[19:02] Hikio, what do you think of this outfit? Whatismylife_jpg

"WHAT?" Ugh, my ears are ringing. Hayama had also taken a little distance from her and was subtly rubbing his ears. Kawasaki seemed fine with the high pitch though, maybe because of the little siblings in her home.

"A time stamp? So this is a text conversation?" Yukinoshita started analyzing it like its nothing, completely ignoring the scream.

"Heyyy, why would I text that creep ... I mean kind boy." She was visibly shuddering while saying that last but it was still surprising. I thought correcting herself was beyond her. It seems that being helped by the service club and owing debts to us has affected her more than anticipated.

"It is an alternate universe Miura-san. Please don't take it personally." Yukinoshita wasn't trying to be condescending but it naturally came as such.

"It may not be you, Yumiko. Maybe its me and I misspelled Hikki?" Before the fiery volcano could explode, Yuigahama managed to distract her.

[19:15] Hikio, I swear, if you're ignoring me because you're lounging about, I will slap the back of your head tomorrow, you hear me?

Yeah, that seems unlikely to be Yuigahama. In the first place, Haruno won't make such a mistake. She is quite dedicated to making me suffer. Miura had quieted down and was focusing for once. Also Yukinoshita didn't comment on my laziness for once.

(19:20) Geez, Miura, I'm not sure you understand that people have lives, you know?

Instantly, all the females except for Miura began to laugh. Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Isshiki, Kawasaki, Komachi, Haruno, Sensei were all laughing at their private joke about me and even Hayama was chuckling quietly. Ugh.

[19:22] Wow, you have a life? Gasp! This is something the world needs to know; why are you hiding? No - what are you hiding?

(19:24) Piss off!

Miura was looking at me surprised, maybe because of the daring of my other self.

(19:25) Also, what the heck, woman! Don't show so much skin around me!

[19:27] You know it's just a tank-top, right? And I'm wearing jeans?

"So you are less of a creep and more of a prude huh." Miura wondered aloud.

(19:28) Yeah, but pretty girls should be more self-conscious. You're trying to attract Hayama, right? It's been a year since we've entered high school - you should know he's not interested by now, and trust me, if he was, he would've made a move by now.

"Well at least Hikki and Yumiko are not together here either." Thank you Gahama-san. Now save me from the glares of your friends. Hayama is undoubtedly angry for being exposed, while Miura is likely fuming at any possible negation regarding her future with her prince charming.

(19:28) I'll put money on him leaning towards Ebina's fantasies.

[19:33] You're gross, you know that? I can't believe you would say something like that to a girl.

Miura is now looking at me like something disgusting but I am used to it since childhood. Hayama seems to be contemplating something, don't tell me he is actually considering Yaoi? Nooo, save me Totsuka ... I mean Yukino. Well, at least the glares are gone.

(19:36) You mean 'How could this Creepy-gaya say that to me, Miura Yumiko?' I can because it's free, I have a brain and two eyes, and I know that you're inviting unwelcome glances. That guy, Tobe, can't help but stare sometimes, even though you told me he says that Ebina is the one for him.

"WHAT?"

[19:37] What.

[19:37] Tobe likes me? Hold on, I need a moment to process this. Oh my GOD, this could ruin my group's dynamics akshdaksfkabsfa qjakjdak HELP!

"Exquisite vocabulary." Now is not the time Yukinoshita-san.

(19:40) Chill out, Miura. I said he's attracted to you, physically. I don't doubt that he's interested in pursuing a relationship with Ebina, but he can't help but be attracted to you.

[19:44] Oh. Good. Was having a bit of a moment there.

(19:44) I noticed.

[19:46] But, that begs the question - how do you know?

Everyone turned to me. "Umm, that's not me, remember?"

(19:48) I've been keeping an eye out. Remember six months ago?

[19:51] That is awfully creepy of you, but also, really sweet. But you don't have to worry. That guy just wouldn't take 'No' for an answer though, and I don't think Tobe's like that.

"Sigh, what are you everyone's daddy?" Iroha reprimanded me. Don't just say sigh and do the action of sighing properly!

(19:52) Yeah, Tobe isn't, but those other guys he hangs with probably are into you and they figure if Tobe is looking, it's not weird if every guy in the circle things you're, "hot."

[19:53] AKDGHSJS! Shut up right now, ew, I do not need to know this right now. ARGH!

No. Even Miura isn't that dumb. She has tried so hard to be a girl who attracts attention. As long as it does not hurt her chances with Hayama, she wants to be seen as the most desirable queen. I remember her trying to force Yuigahama to declare her legs being more beautiful than Yukinoshita at that time in class. I doubt she would be actually disgusted by it. So she isn't real even with this other me, despite us seemingly being friends? Or has her personality changed because of the other me or some other reason?

(19:54) Would you rather find this out later?

[19:57] I hate you so much right now.

(19:59) I guess those cookies I just made will have to be given to Yukinoshita, then. Or maybe Yuigahama? Hmm, maybe Hiratsuka-sensei or Kawasaki.

Silence. Complete silence.

Who is this guy and why is he making cookies for girls? I don't know him. So please stop killing me with your glares.

"You wouldn't give us something while targeting another person, would you cookiegaya-kun?"

"Its not nice to treat something as casual replacement, Hikki."

"Can you even make good cookies, Hikigaya?"

"So I am below even Sensei in priority?" Kawsasaki was the only one melancholic rather than angry.

[20:00] Don't you dare. I will gut you. Cookie privileges are mine.

[20:00] No one must know.

Its cookies, right? I am not giving her any cocaine embedded in it, right? I mean I can make a decent curry but I am no Yukihira to make someone mad with cookies.

(20:01) You're crazy. I'm crazy for talking to you. Why is this my life? I must've done something horrible to deserve this sort of mistreatment; as if these eyes weren't bad enough.

"You should be thankful to have someone to talk to. Specially if its a beautiful girl. Staying alone will only make you crazier and creepier." Than you Miura-san for your heartfelt advice. But you know ...

"Words expend energy while free cookies give energy. Its not beneficial to me in any way."

(20:02) Oh, and on that note, I'm out - goodnight.

[20:03] If you do not give this queen her offering tomorrow, you will be sacrificed in a bit of smoke and flame. Painfully. Do you hear me?

I thought she was a Lannister with her blonde hair, but she seems to be a Targaryen. Does she have any dragon eggs?

(20:03) Sleepycat_jpg Middlefinger_jpg

This mollified Yukinoshita at least a little bit. But this did not have any pairing moments unless you were looking with really thick shipping glasses. I would even dare say it was a decent and realistic story of friendship. It did not cause much trouble for me neither stir the pot for Miura. Then why did Haruno recommend it? Just when I thought I had gotten a handle on her, she has started to become unpredictable again.