The Konoha Times

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Think up a good disclaimer. Pretend I put it here.

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Of Dirty-Minded People

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Jiraya's Homecoming

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Today, it has been reported that Jiraya-sama was spotted in town-the first time in years! And of course, he headed straight for his favourite haunt, the hot springs.

Apparently, Jiraya-sama was seen peeking through a crack in the wooden fence surrounding the hot spring designated for females. An unnamed eyewitness who was training nearby claims that Jiraya-sama told him that he was only sourcing for inspiration for his book, which our source refuses to name.

One of the females present in the hot spring blushed when asked about the peeping incident. "Jiraya-sama peeping? Oh, I really don't know what to say..."

Jiraya-sama's lodging is currently unknown, but rumour has it that several small toads have been spotted near the Eastern fringe of the village.

When interviewed, Jiraya-sama refused to comment on the hot springs incident, but instead gushed about how good it felt to be back. He also hinted that he might have a new student, whose identity still remains secret.

Meanwhile, a fair has been organised by the Jiraya-sama Fan Club to welcome Jiraya-sama's homecoming, and it is expected that Jiraya-sama will grace the event. The fair will take place near the hot springs where Jiraya-sama was first spotted, and everyone has been invited to come in their bathing suits for a splashing good time tomorrow evening.

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Copy-Ninja Nabbed!

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Jounin Hatake Kakashi, famous for his copy techniques, has been nabbed in a bar and sent straight to the 3rd Hokage's office after a complaint against him was lodged by a 19 year old girl, who cannot be named.

He was allegedly drunk when he fished out his copy of Icha Icha Paradise and started reading an excerpt from the R-rated book to the victim and her friends.

According to an eyewitness, all but one of the girls were giggling as he read the passage out loud in his drunken stupor. However, the eyewitness claims that Hatake Kakashi was not misbehaving in an indecent manner, and reported that the girl was probably insulted by the content of the passage.

Copy-Ninja Kakashi was eventually let off by the Hokage after being ticked off.

It was later found that the girl was the subject of the passage that was read out loud, and she has filed charges for defamation against the anonymous and unknown author of Icha Icha Paradise.

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Ebisu Stumped!

An embarrassing rumour concerning elite tutor Ebisu spread like wildfire around the Konoha Ninja Academy yesterday. It seems that he has become the latest victim of Uzumaki Naruto's notorious prank-the Sexy no Jutsu. According to the rumour, Ebisu had a severe nosebleed when Naruto performed a lethal combination of the Sexy no Jutsu and Kage Bunshin no Jutsu: Harem no Jutsu.

He has refused to comment on the rumour.

It is not yet known if he still has full authority over the Sandaime Hokage's grandson, Sarutobi Konohamaru, for it seems that Konohamaru threatens his sensei with his own rendition of the Sexy no Jutsu.

It is common knowledge that Ebisu prides himself in being "one of the few good men who won't ever fall prey to a woman's charms". Perhaps it takes more than one woman.

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A/n: Just a silly fic that resulted from my boredom. Hope it was funny XD