Hello all! I really wanted to continue the original, but I really didn't like the way it was written. So this is the start to the rewrite for 'Abuse'. Please leave feedback about the difference.
With a loud slam as the door shut, Tsuna slid to the floor. Her knees curled and she wrapped her arms around her legs as her body heaved from sobbing. She tucked into herself desperately trying to hide from the screaming coming from downstairs.
Mama and papa had started fighting again. They normally do but she hated seeing them be so mean to each other. Tsuna panicked when she saw papa raise his hand. Last time that happened mama was asleep for the rest of the night on the floor. She had brought her a pillow and blanket from her room to keep her comfortable since mama wouldn't wake up.
Her heart had been racing and she moved in front of her mama and tried to block her, but the raised hand came down on her instead. Her small body was easily knocked to the floor and she had to blink away the blurriness from her eyes. Her mother yelled at her and kept yelling as papa grabbed mama by the front of her shirt and slapped her. That didn't stop the flow of insults coming from either mouth. Neither had cared enough to even look at her. Tsuna had wobbled her way to the stairs while clutching her head. That had hurt.
She didn't understand why papa was so mean. Or why he did these things. She didn't know why mama never seemed to care. She never understood why they would get so angry at each other and at her for seemingly no reason. She didn't see other families treat each other that way. She wondered if this was how everybody was, but just behind closed doors. Her family acted nice when outside too. Mama and papa showed lots of love and gave her plenty of attention when they had to go to school with her a few times. It was almost scary but she enjoyed every second of it. She looked forward to any outings, despite then only being school related. She wished it was real.
Tsuna loosened her death grip around herself and tried to relax herself from her tense position. Her headache had started to fail to a light thumping but her back was beginning to throb where her bones dug into the hardwood. She slowly pushed herself up and made her way to her bed. Tsuna climbed under her blanket and pulled it tight around herself. Her hand rubbed gently at the small bump on her head. A small sniffle escaped her.
Tomorrow would be better.
A slightly older six year old Tsuna quietly tried to walk past her papa without disturbing him. He was asleep sprawled out with a half full bottle dangling from his fingers. He was still in his police uniform, as soon as he got home from work he began drinking and turned on the tv. Tsuna passed him and made her way silently to the kitchen. Her stomach growled deeply. She was extremely hungry but she didn't want to make too much noise and wake her papa.
She poured herself a small glass full of water and concentrated her small hands around the wet glass and gripped it so it wouldn't fall. Having concentrated all of her focus on not dropping the glass, she bumped into the wall. She flinched and her grip loosened and the glass went crashing to the floor. Water and shards of glass scattered. She stood still and fearful as she heard her father wake up and start cursing loudly. Her heart hammered in her chest. Papa came stomping into the kitchen. He stopped directly in front of her with his face scrunched into a furious look. He turned red as he began screaming at her. Spit flying everywhere. She trembled and stared down at the floor, fearful.
"You rotten piece of shit! Good for nothing little bitch! Why the fuck did you break that? Are you going to fucking replace it? Plus you woke me up after I worked all fucking day to pay for this roof over your head! No fucking resepct!" His hand came down hard and swift. She stumbled and gravity pulled her down. Her hands land on shards of glass and she winces at the sharp pain. "I'm sorry papa, I'll clean it up, I promise! I didn't mean to wake you up."
A whimper left her lips as papa leaned over her and slammed his foot down on her hand. Glass dug deeper and blood slowly mixed with the water on the floor and began to spread quickly. Her face was scrunched in pain as she tried to pull away. "Please papa! It hurts-" He raised his foot and she snatched her hand back quickly- only for the sharp steel toed boot to slam into her side. A small scream was let out as the shock and pain.
"Pick up this mess. If you wake me up again I swear I'll beat the ever loving shit out of you. Ungrateful….just like your mother." She heaved from the blow to her side and stayed in a curled position as her father left to go to his room. Her lungs struggled for air as every breath she took was painful to her side. Moving caused extreme pain, but she had to clean up her mess so papa wouldn't get mad. She struggled to stand and used the countertop to hold her small body up as she cleaned up the glas and mopped up the blood and water that was scattered along the floor.
When she finally got to her room, Tauna slowly lifted her shirt and stifled a sob at the movement. Her entire side was bruised already. She changed and went to the bathroom to pick the glass out of her hand. Small tweezers she had taken from her mom's bathroom when they were both gone were put to good use. This wasn't the first glass incident. She was incredibly clumsy. She bandaged her small hands. Her palms weren't bleeding much anymore but she didn't want it to get worse.
As she intently focused on her hands tsuna looked up feeling annoyance creep over her. Something was dripping. She looked at her faucet and the bath and there wasn't any water dripping. What was that weird noise? She wrapped the last part of the bandage and looked around her bathroom. Now that she seems to have realized something was making noise, it seemed to have gotten louder. She checked under the sink and double checked the bath but nothing. But it was consistent and almost felt like it didn't sound far away or closer wherever she went in her room. Her side ached but this noise was upsetting her. It wouldn't stop. She put her ear to her wall and moved around and it still stayed the same. New tears pricked her eyes. Why wouldn't this noise stop? Her head began to throb and she pulled at her hair feeling stress build. Maybe she should just go to sleep. Ignore the sound and it would eventually go away.
She made her way to her bed and very carefully climbed in. Her body turned on the non hurt side and curled into itself while she held her side. She didn't notice when the noise stopped. The pain made it hard to fall asleep but once she did her small body finally relaxed the tiniest of bits. Tears dried themselves. Her breath evened out as the pain faded in her sleep.
Tomorrow should definitely be better.
Tsuna was now a little over eight years old. She had just walked into the kitchen to try and find something small to take while her parents were gone. She had thought they both had left, but her mother sat at the kitchen table. Her mama sat slouched back in the wooden chair with her head tilted back. Same hazel/amber eyes that her daughter inherited were glazed over. A cigarette was gripped loosely hanging at her side. Tsuna coughed at the smoke filling the room and squinted at the table. She hesitantly took a step forward. Her mama was unusually relaxed. Maybe she could talk to her? "Mama what's on the table?"
Foggy eyes blinked slowly coming into focus as mama slowly tilted her head towards Tsuna. A slow sneer took over her face as she realized her daughter stood in front of her. Something flickered in her eye before a small grin appeared. It seemed scary almost. "Hey brat wan' try somethin'?" Her voice slurred. She slowly raised an arm and ushered Tsuna closer. Tsuna quickly approached feeling an inkling of excitement. What could it be? Mama never showed her anything before. Her pulse quickened from the small bit of excitement.
Her mom flicked her ashes on the floor and grabbed Tsuna's small wrist in a tight grip. She pulled her between her legs facing the table and leaned over her shoulder. She pressed Tsuna into the table and put her hand on something. "You see this? This is called a syringe. This over here is a pipe. Mommy think you might enjoy some of these." She motioned for Tsuna to pick up the syringe. It was scary and sharp. But she was incredibly intrigued. Mama hasn't shown her anything in a really long time. Her moms grabbed a band off the table and pulled Tsuna's arm up roughly. She began tying the band around the upper part of her arm. Tsuna winced at the uncomfortable tightness. Maybe mama wasn't in a good mood after all.
Mama turned her back to tsuna and she heard a few things clinking and the sound of fire. Tsuna watches her mothers back with wide eyes, having no clue what's going on. Her mother turned around and she had the syringe in her shaking hands. Her eyes were hazy and the grin she had seemed off. Tsuna started to take a step back but her mama gripped her arm tightly and pulled her closer. "It will be okay! You'll feel really good after this, I promise. Mommy feels good all the time this way. Let me help you baby girl." Her mother's words were thick dripping honey to Tsuna. She's never been talked to that way. Her heart flutters at her mother's voice and she smiles at her mother. Shaky hands lower the syringe and Tsuna flinches as the needle enters her arm. It takes a moment but her mom withdraws the needle and chucks it on the table. She untied the band on her daughter's arm and stifled a giggle. "Good girl, I bet you'll feel good real quick? Now go to your room."
Tsuna nods but it feels funny. An extreme burning sensation starts from her arm through her body. Her head felt fuzzy. She took a step backwards but tripped and landed on her behind. She felt sick. "Okay. I love you mama. Thank you." A sharp pain blossomed from her leg. She looked up at her mother. Mama stared down at her frowning. She squatted before her daughter and grabbed her chin roughly. "Baby girl I will never love you. I never wanted you. I truly wish with all my heart, you died in my stomach." She dug her fingers into her cheek. Tsuna's hand flew up and loosely gripped her mother's wrist. She smiled. She felt light. Like she was floating. Her eyes caught on her mother's cheek where a deep bruise was healing. "I know mama."
"I truthfully tried to get rid of you. No matter what I did you just wouldn't die while you were still in my belly. You're a roach. It's annoying truthfully. But you're still here and I still have to be reminded I birthed such a thing everytime I see you. It's so cruel to me. Why would you do that to your poor mother, why couldn't you have died?" Mama's words wrapped around her like a blanket. Mama doesn't talk to her often. Her voice was so comforting. Mama sneered and left her child on the ground and walked away. Tsuna wondered where she went. A small sigh escaped her. She felt so fuzzy. Fuzzy like that weird static that comes up on the television sometimes.
She tried to sit up but the blood rushing in her veins made it difficult to concentrate. She hears footsteps loud coming to the kitchen. Maybe mama came back to help her up? "What the fuck are you doing on the floor? Go to your damn room." Oh that was papa. Tsuna looked up and smiled with all the teeth she had. Her eyes glossed. "Hi papa. I'm sorry. I'll go to my room." She struggled to push herself up. Anxiety washed over her all the sudden. Hopefully she doesn't male him mad. Her eyes glanced nervously to the side swearing she saw something move. Papa looked at the table and her state and was immediately enraged. "You little BITCH!" His closed fist came down on her and she crumpled to the floor immediately with a yell.
"I can't believe you- you're getting high off my shit! You little fucking thief! I ought to slit your throat!" She curled into a tight ball and held her face. It hurt so her hair was being pulled from her scalp. He snatched her hair and began dragging her down the hall. Tsuna gasped in pain and kicked and struggled to get away. Her eyes filled with tears and panic enveloped her. Her eyes made quick movements trying to figure out what was going on. The hallway was dark and she swore it looked like the shadows were grasping at her. Her back flooded with pain as she was dragged up the stairs by her hair. Everything was on fire.
She screamed as she felt her body being thrown and hit the floor hard. Papa had thrown her in her room. The door slammed shut and she heard him screamed and mama screaming back. Her body pounded with pain. Tsuna curled into herself on the floor. There was faint whispering. It was so faint she couldn't make out what was being said but it was strange. It was like someone was right next to her whispering something he couldn't make out. She didn't have the energy to care. Voices surrounded her. Discernible words and the screaming downstairs. Her eyes stayed open, glazed and staring straight ahead at the wall.
Tomorrow would be better right?
Things had gotten worse. She wasn't safe in her room anymore. Normally if she stayed out of eyesight she wasn't hurt as bad. Recently mama and papa have been even more violent if that's possible. They both appeared haggard. Her father looked rugged and dirty. Like he hadn't cleaned himself in a long time. He hadn't been leaving for work. She wonders why. He spends his day in the living room getting drunk and sleeping. His temper is ever short. She doesn't remember the last time he left the house.
Her mama looked worse off almost. Her clothes appeared too big for her body and slipped off of her thin shoulders showing bones sticking out. She looked like Tsuna did almost. Mama's face seemed to sink into itself as well. Her eyes popping out of her head. One thing Tsuna always wondered about was that mama always seemed to be coughing, yet wouldn't put out her cigarettes. She took drag after drag sitting opposite of her husband gazing past the tv to the wall switching her gaze to her phone every so often. Her gaze blank when she and papa aren't fighting.
Tsuna sat at the top of the stairs peeking down watching her mama and papa sitting in the living room. Papa had fallen asleep and mama stared at her phone. Tsuna was crouched against the wall out of sight hopefully in case they got up. Her stomach pulled tightly. She hadn't eaten in days. Everyone seemed to be eating less since papa hadn't been leaving for work. Maybe that's why fights broke out so much more. Right now was the quietest it had been in a long time. She felt relief truthfully, but her growling stomach made her hunger override the need for the peace to last. She had to try and get something to eat and now was her best chance.
She slid carefully down the steps making sure to be as quiet as possible. Her chest constricted as she held her breath. She reached the last step and slowly stood. Toes curled into the floor and her heartbeat thundered. Tsuna crept against the wall staying out of her mother's line of site. Her fingers gripped the counter tightly as she pulled herself closer to the cabinets. Her fingers slowly wedged one open, but her eyes stayed wide and pinned on her mother's form.
Mama was facing away from her on her phone currently. She slid down slowly and peeled her eyes away from her mother and peered into the cabinet. Nothing. She opened the next one. Empty other than pots and pans shoved haphazardly. She squinted when she's sure she saw something move in the dark cabinet. Her body leaned forward and suddenly small beady eyes opened and blinked at her. She sucked in a breath and quickly shut the door. Must have been a mouse. Her heart seemed to stop when the next cabinet door squeaked slightly. All breathing stopped and she turned quickly but her mother had thankfully not noticed. She closed her eyes and let out her breath slowly.
A sharp pain pierced her stomach and she clutched her midsection. The fridge was off limits for sure but it still was tempting. She glanced at the fridge and something caught her eye. The drawers next to the fridge had something peeking out from one of them. She immediately recognized the netted material poking out as potatoes. She remembered her mama tossing them in there a month ago right around the time papa had stopped working. Her mouth watered.
In a quick few steps she stood in front of the door and painstakingly slow, started to pull the drawer out. A full sack of old potatoes. A few of them looked slightly moldy, but the others were growing roots erratically, having thrived in the dark moist environment. She pulled the sack out from the drawer watching her mother from the corner of her eye. The only way to open the bag was with something sharp. The potatoes were in a plastic netting, which was tied off in a tight knot.
Her frustration rose. She was so close. She wondered if she could sneak these to her room? But she still needed something sharp. Mama and papa were surely hungry too. If these were found in her room she's sure it would be bad as well. Desperate eyes scenes the kitchen counters for anything sharp. Her eyes landed on her mama's knife set. She grabbed one of the knives and grabbed for the netted bag. She pulled at the net and tried to saw the bag open. It wasn't working so the pulled the bag and pushed the knife away from her to try and get it open.
Suddenly a loud shredding noise filled the air and potatoes spilled across the counter and fell to the floor around her. Her eyes closed briefly as she heard her mother mutter curses stand and her father's grumbling grow soon after. Her stomach reminded her of her original intent and she bent down and grabbed a few potatoes and shoved them into her pocket. For later. She began picking up the others, keeping her head bowed and putting them back on the counter.
Her parents' voices sounded muffled to her ears. A sudden pain in her face had her blinking in shock. Her mama stood in front of her. Mouth moving quickly and angrily. Her voice was murky and Tsuna couldn't make out what was being said. Before she could blink again, her papa's closed fist came down on the same place she was just slapped. Her head shot sideways slamming into the corner of the counter, before she stumbled away. Legs too weak to hold her up after the hit. Eyes immediately went dark or a split second to return blurry. Pounding echoed through her skull from the impact. She couldn't see. She had hit her temple. Hot wetness ran down the side of her face. Was she bleeding? That wasn't good.
Her eyes suddenly came to focus on her father standing over her. His words slowly became more clear. "...think you...from me?...Scrounging like...rat. Where were...hiding this? Ungrateful leech! To think….were hiding when we support your fatass. I can barely keep the lights on and here we are starving while you try to steal food under our noses!? Why don't I just stop feeding you all together. One less mouth to feed will at least be better. Too bad I can't add your mother to that list. God you both cost me so motherfuking much money I hate you both so fucking much. I'll put an end to this though. Right now."
She opened her mouth attempting to suck in air as her father grabbed her hair and pulled her up. He pushed her mom back as she mouthed him. Her face, temple and scalp screamed at the abuse. Her eyes came in and out of focus as she struggled to concentrate on what was happening. It hurt. What was he doing? Her eyes widened as she was pulled forward stumbling and tripping. Please no. Please. She promises she'll be good. She wont eat anymore. Anything. Her mouth opened to plead but nothing coherent would flow. "I-...nng...pa-...please…"
Her father breathed a door down at the end of the hall. That was the basement door. The basement was scary. It was cold and dark. He ripped the door open and flicked on the lights. His brutal hold on the girls hair was suddenly released as she was thrown down the steps. Her body tumbling and twisting awkwardly before landing at a heap and the bottom.
He spit down the steps and shut off the light. Her body lay still at the end of the steps. Was she even breathing? Who cares. "I think you're going to be staying here from now on. This is your new home. Live with the rats since you're so insistent on acting like one. Scavenging in your own home. I hope you starve." He slammed the door closed and locked the door. He would buy heavier locks later. This was punishment she needed. The child needed to be taught.
Tsuna cracked open her eyes and whimpered. Her entire body screamed at her. Dust that had been disturbed by her descent filled her lungs causing her to cough weakly. Shaky arms tried to push her body up and nearly failed. Her mind began to reel. It was so dark. She hated the dark. She was scared. "Papa!" He couldn't see. She felt around for the stairs and quickly crawled up them to where she felt the door. Her small fists bang harshly on the surface of the door.
"Papa! I'm so sorry! I can't be down here! Please papa! Mama please let me out! I promise I'll be good! I won't eat anymore I'll be good!" Words screeched as they left her lips. Her screaming sounded hoarse and desperate. "I'll do anything you want please let me out! I don't wanna be here!" Her pals bang on the door and she tried to tug and pull on the handle with all her might. It wouldn't budge. She heard nothing on the outside of the door. No screaming. No talking. Why did this happen? "I was just hungry." Her hands stopped banging and went to her head.
She curled into a fetal position on the top set by the door praying that it would open. "I was just hungry so please let me out." Her voice barely whispered. Her small body went into shock at the events. Her mind became blank, but she stared straight ahead. Not a sliver of light peeked in from the door. Or maybe her eyes had not adjusted yet maybe they were still blurry. She couldn't tell.
She was scared to blink. Her eyes could see nothing, yet she swore things began moving in the dark. Surrounding her. Whispers came from at the bottom of the steps. They stopped. "I want out." She slammed her head back against the door. "It's so dark." Her head snapped back again. And again. And again. Then she stopped. She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. Her chest was tight. When would this end?
She begged to anyone that could hear her, that tomorrow would be better.
Tsuna flinched as she felt a sting on her leg. Something had bit her. She swatted at whatever had bit her weakly. It was dark so she can't confirm it, but it felt like a mouse. There were a lot down here. Bugs too. They were gross. But they made her stomach stop hurting when she got passed the way they crunched in her mouth. Certain bugs would fight back and bite the inside of her mouth or tongue. But her teeth were stronger than theirs and she chewed without hesitation.
They would normally be caught crawling along her skin. Or waking her up. She was starving. They fed her. They nourished her body and sacrificed themselves for her. They must have done so willingly sense they were the ones crawling on her. Then again maybe they couldn't see either. Maybe they were just fumbling around like she used to trying to find a way out of this place. Oh well. Who cares right? After all, it's just a bug. "Just a bug. Very crunchy." She hummed. Her fingers pulled at her chapped lips. Her tongue felt dry and saliva didn't seem to produce fast enough. It's been a long time since she last had water. She had finished the last bottle, who knows how long ago.
She was hungry and thirsty. Recalling when she was first thrown in here, she probably would have died if she hadn't grabbed the potatoes she did and shiver them in her pockets. Papa seemed to think she would be dead the next time he checked on her. But she was alive. Just like a roach. Fingers raised and felt along her side. She could count her ribs if she wanted. Sometimes that's all she did. Her fingers brushing her bones protruding from skin. How long has it been? It's had to have been a long time. She doesn't know how she knows but she does. It's been too long. She wonders sometimes if she's dead. If anything is real. It's the touch of concrete and the few times her father visits that keep her tied so she doesn't float too far.
Reality fades when she goes too long without papa's visits. Or sometimes the concrete and bugs and rats do nothing, and it's the voices that taunt her across the room that make her lose her senses. Sometimes they help too but it's less likely. Sometimes she swears she feels fingers wrapping around her limbs pulling and tugging. Tearing her skin from muscle and digging nails into her. Sometimes she knows she can feel a soft caress against her cheek and sweet whispers in her ear.
Her head ducked as a buzzing filled the air and the lights flickered on. Before her eyes clamped shut, she caught glimpses of mice and bugs scattering. A faint pain behind her eyes began as she slowly tried to squint her eyes open. She learned not to open them immediately. She was blinded for a little while the first few times. The lights were dim but to her they felt like the sun. Her eyes didn't know how to react with light anymore. A pity since she liked being able to see. She wondered how papa was doing. The lights turning on meant papa was about to come and visit. She hoped he brought food.
The door creaked open and her eyes slowly drew upward. Her father came about halfway down the stairs before throwing a plastic bag down on the ground. Its contents scattered. Tsuna's body shot forward with all the energy it had and began snatching up everything. Bottles of water, granola bars, fruits, even a sandwich! This was more than the last three times. Her thirst overcame curiosity as she opened a bottle of water and began to take slow sips. Despite how badly she wanted to chug it she knew better. She had to conserve it.
Her father sneered down at her. He looked more kept than usual and had clean clothes on and his hair looked combed. "You remind me of a wild animal. Hah. It fucking reeks down here too." He glanced at a bucket sitting a few feet away from her. It was probably full. He would have to change that. Couldn't let the smell of shit and piss start getting into the house. The girl's body was covered in filth and grime. It had been a few months since he had let her clean herself after all. He pulled his pant leg up and sat on the fourth step from the bottom. The old wood creaked under his weight. He rolled his sleeves up and stared down at the girl. Tsuna paid him no mind slowly nibbling on a piece of fruit. Her eyes staying glued to the floor.
"I wonder… Do you know how long it's been since you've been down here? Two years. You know it's been 2 weeks since I last came down here? I really forgot about you truthfully. I got a new job and have been busy. Seems you made that last batch of water last! Or else you'd be dead. But of course your not, since your my little roach." His voice was conversational but near the end sounded sarcastic. Tsuna didn't acknowledge him. It was better if she did nothing to spike his anger, and hopefully he would do what he needed without hurting her.
She loved when he visited. Truly. When in a good mood he would chat with her despite the fact that she wouldn't respond and it felt like papa was normal. He would take care of her on some occasions, cleaning her bucket and would bleach the floor where she normally sat. Sometimes its covered in urine from when she wouldn't realise she's gone on herself. The few times she accidentally spilled her bucket was a lesson learned. He hated cleaning it but he did it for her. He took care of her. Sometimes he would even give her a bucket of water and a rag with soap to clean herself with. He was so thoughtful. Or maybe it was so when he hurt her, things wouldn't get infected. Then shed really die and then he'd have to find a way to dispose of her body. Surely not. Right? The voices disagree.
She inwardly felt so happy as he stood up and began to clean her area and bucket. "What the fuck is that?" Her heart sank and she whipped her head over, her neck cracking. There was puke near the bucket on the floor. It was half dried and half moldy looking chunks of food. She must have gotten sick. She doesn't remember when she had thrown up. It had felt like a while ago. But she had totally forgotten about it. Her chest contracts as he begins to yell at her. She grabbed her food and tried to slink backwards slowly, flinching at the raised words.
"You dumb fuck. How hard is it to puke in the fucking bucket? You obviously know where it is if you can shit and piss in it. You stupid fucking girl. Waste of fucking space!" He snarled and grabbed her by the throat. He pulled her away from the food and water and pinned her to the floor. "Papa I'm sorry- I really didn't mean to. I tried to make it to the bucket, I did!" He reached in his pocket and pulled out something she dreaded. It's only happened a few times but each to me was scarred in her memory. She tried to pull away, but her father's grip tightened around her throat. His face was twisted in a manic way. "Even your voice pisses me off. Shut the fuck up."
He lifts her up again and then pushes her down face first into the concrete. Her bones digging into the hard floor causing mild pain. Papa cut the back of her shirt open with a sharp knife. He then pierced her skin and dragged the knife carving through flesh. She screamed and kicked. It hurt so badly. She felt warm liquid run down her side from the wound. Her body struggled, but he held her down easily with his weight. He started carving words into her back. His face pulled tight as he concentrated. Like he was working on something important. "STOP! STOP! PLEASE! AHHHHHHHH IT HURTS! Please PAPA I beg you to stop!" She screamed and screamed. Eventually he became irritated enough and shoved some of her tattered shirt in her mouth to gag her.
Ungrateful
Worthless
Waste of space
Roach
Useless
Stupid
Hours must have passed as he carved harsh words into her back. Her back bleeding profusely causing blood to pool around them. She had passed out from pain not too long ago yet he still continued to slice into her body. Deep enough to scar, yet shallow enough she doesn't bleed out completely. He sat back and admired his work. He stood and stretched. He dragged her away from the bloodied spot and began cleaning. He cleaned her area and the bucket, was bleeding heavily. Even cleaning her from blood, wrapping her body, and dressing her in a new shirt. He was an amazing father. Sure he was a little harsh but at least she would learn. Next time, if she had to puke it would be inside the bucket. He left the room whistling flicking off the light.
Hours upon hours later Tsuna's eyes cracked open and darkness greeted her. Her finger twitched. She couldn't move. It felt like she was being bathed in fire.
"Why papa?" A weak raspy voice echoed through the empty dark basement. Silent was the reply.
Tomorrow wouldn't be better would it? When was tomorrow?
'What's wrong with you?'
The whispers were almost non stop. It's like they've grown more confident. She wasn't leaving them. They wernt leaving her. They had each other and nothing could take that away. Even when she died she'd still be here. Right here with her voices. With their disfigured figures she sees in the dark. She giggled. Sometimes they sounded like they spoke to her from the door. Then right by her ear. They were everywhere. Always whispering. Telling her things. The only time they stopped was when papa or mama visited her. Well mamas only visited her once and she hasn't seen her sense, but papa comes as normal. He says every few weeks. It doesn't feel that long anymore.
At first it terrifies her when they begin to speak to her so often. She was scared of them, like she was of the dark. But then, like the dark, they grew on her. She savored their presence. It was a comfort that she wasn't alone. The voices, the whispers, the sounds, would always be there. Watching her. Always watching. Always whispering. Always there. Was something wrong with her? There really probably was. What was it though? Her parents normally hated it when she was within sight. Their tempers immediately rose if they weren't already. Maybe her looks were the cause? Maybe it was her presence alone. Her existence.
"I wish I hadn't been born." She mourned. If she wasn't here, she wouldn't be down here. Any memory of outside is fuzzy. How long has it been? Much too long. 'Too long.' Her nails scraped at the concrete underneath her. It hurt. 'You know what's wrong with you. Mama and papa have told you over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER-' Tsuna clasped her hands to her ears to muffle the noise. It didn't help. It never did. Suddenly the voice stopped. Her hands dropped to her felt rustling by her leg and reached to pet the mouse or rat. Whatever it was turned and nipped her fingers. Her hand jerked back. She was bleeding.
"They just want me to get better. Maybe one day I'll be good enough." A bug scuttled up her arm. She brushed it away. Maybe a beetle. Or a roach. Or was there a bug at all? She hadn't felt anything. That happens sometimes. Crawling and scratching. The feeling of bugs running along her skin eating her flesh. 'Why would they want you to get better? They never wanted you in the first place.' A sweet gentle voice cooed in her ear. A shiver ran through her body. She dug her nails into the back of her other hand and scratched. Tearing away skin. It was raw. Her nails scraped off new healing scabs. "I dont know."
'Kill yourself.' Her breath shuttered. Lungs constricting. She's tried before. But it didn't quite work. There was nothing down here. Once, she had tried using the plastic bag that papa threw her food down to her in, to suffocate herself. But she passed out before she could die and her grip would loosen so the bag would slip. She tried to wrap it around her throat and pull. It was so pleasant to feel the stabs in her lungs, but either her grip would falter due to being weak, or she would faint before the deed could be done.'Such a failure.'
"Maybe I'll be let out one day. Maybe papa will grow bored of this." How long has she said that? How long has it been? Nails raked down her back. They weren't hers. She whimpered. It laughed. Laughed as it sunk its claws into her chest and squeezed her heart until it burst.
"I'm tired." She slumped her body sideways. Feeling an itch under her shirt, she scratched it and felt a bug. She caught it and put the struggling creature in her mouth. Her teeth sank into it causing it to pop disgustingly. Food sounded amazing. She swallowed the bug. She wished something would come along and bite into her too. Snapping her body in half, spewing blood and guts. Life bleeding from her as she stopped struggling. Finally dying. Finally leaving. Finally finally finally ending this nightmare.
But that wouldn't happen. Because as much as mama and papa drilled it into her head, she knew she wasn't a roach. She wasn't a bug. She was just human. Just flesh and bone. She was already dead, simply waiting for when papa finally took too long to bring her food or water. Waiting for when the numbness in her limbs would fade. When the heaviness in her body left. When the constant ache would leave.
Her eyes closed. Or at least she think they did. Little dots of color spread across the darkness. Weaving together and dancing making different shapes. A sigh left her parched lips. A scuttle a few feet away. The leaky pipe dripping in the corner. It lulled her to sleep.
It would be better eventually. When she finally drew her last breath, then it would be better. She would be free.
Better or worse? Let me know how it is compared to the original. :)