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CHAPTER 10: SAME PAGE
Bella was disappointed by what she found in her memories. Edward loved her, yes, but he never wanted this life for her. He never told her how he felt about her being a vampire now. It was always about helping her with her memories or guiding her through her new life. But they had never discussed what the attack meant for them as a couple. She pondered about asking him a few days to herself, to put her mind together, to put some order into her thoughts. But in the time that took them to go from the house to the woods, she really thought about it, and realized it would be a huge mistake to walk away without hearing what he had to say for himself.
Once they reached the forest, Edward asked if she was ok with him hunting first before settling down and having that much needed conversation.
She had hunted the day before with Esme, which for having been the first time she hunted with her, it went surprisingly well. Esme was very sweet. She now knew that she admired her, and she was fond of her before this catastrophe, and after it, during this month without her memories, she had been a very constant and silent companion. She wanted her to recover her memories, but she never pushed.
She shook her head and came back down to reality.
It draw on her that despite the month or so that had passed, they haven't hunted together until then. She found it...arousing...watching him move with such grace and agility. His preys unsuspecting the attack. He was sex incarnated.
She would have been blushing were she still human. The burning between her legs was not helping the matter of staying focused on what she wanted to ask him.
He finished draining the deer, stood up, and it what it seemed like slow-motion, he turned around, locked their gaze, and cleaned the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Bella was done.
She jumped him, surprising the ever-living hell out of him. He caught her, though. He always would. She tangled her legs on his waist. Their lips locked in a fierce kiss. He could smell her arousal, and she could feel his.
He lowered them to the ground, him on top of her. He hovered, kissing every inch of her neck, nibling her ears. She was moaning like she never would have thought. She was in ecstasy. It was a fire that kept growing with each second.
"You have too many clothes." She breathed between kisses.
He complied, taking off his clothes in record time. She imitated him, not having the patience to wait until he took them off her. Not caring if in the rush, any of her clothes ripped. In seconds they were naked and thrusting against each other. Edward was also on heaven. It wasn't only her blood he desired like crazy.
"God, you're so beautiful." He mumbled once.
She dragged her hands on his back. Scratching. She wandered her hands down and grabbed his asse's cheeks and squeezed hard. He chuckled.
He lowered his head, but kept his eyes trained on her face enjoying the change in color of her eyes, and the pleasure induced expressions. In times like this, where they were simply Edward and Bella, he could read her like an open book. He took one of her nipples in his mouth. She gasped at the sensation. It was so good.
His cock was in the exact right place, pressing against her center. She buckled her hips upwards eliciting the most delicious moan from Edward. She was enjoying this side of him. From her memories he was always so chaste, so 'we have to wait until marriage to have sex'. She was so extremely glad he was not stopping them. If he stopped, she would spontaneously combust.
He continued his journey through her body, licking and biting his way down, until he reached her lady parts. Parts that no one, besides a gynecologist had seen.
He smirked at her before sinking his head and his tongue in her. That smirk meant trouble, delicious trouble. She loved that smirk. He smirked like that when he wanted to be mischievous. He didn't have much experience in the area; none, to be exact. But living in a house with three sexually active couples, had its perks, sometimes. He slid one finger inside her while licking and nibbling her clit, making her squirm underneath him.
She had never known such pleasure. She had never touched herself in that way. Not even in the horniest moments of her life. Those where she was lying in bed, contemplating her lack of romantic life.
"Jesus, Edward." She buckled her hips upwards again, grabbing his head to keep him in place. But it was too much. She needed him inside her now. "Too much. I need you inside."
He lifted his weight off her body. "Are you sure?" He wanted need, he desired her.
"One hundred percent."
"I love you." He looked her in the eyes. She saw lust, obviously, but also love.
She raised her head and met his lips mid-way. "I love you."
With that, he slid his shaft inside her. Feeling her tightness. He groaned; it was nearly enough to get him undone. He fought the urge to finish or to embarrass himself.
He settled on a steady rhythm. But she needed more, she didn't need to be treated like a porcelain doll. He didn't need to worry about hurting her, or her being sore. "More." She was so damn aroused. She had never felt like this. It felt as if a lustful monster had taken property of her body.
He sped up, not having to worry about being too rough. The question of why he had waited so long popped up in his head. But of course, he knew why. Soul, humanity, marriage, etc. He lowered his head and kissed her softly on the lips.
The dichotomy between the roughness of his thrusts and the sweetness of the kiss, made Bella's stomach flutter in a different way than it was fluttering due to the act. He was so sweet. No wonder she had fallen in love with him again.
She came back to reality and to him. She encased his face between her hands, locking their gaze. His black eyes, full with lust, but full with love as well.
He could feel her walls tightening around his cock, he sped up again, he was close as well.
"Let it go." He whispered in her ear while nibbling at it sweetly.
And let it go she did. She felt her orgasm in every cell of her body. Her whole body trembled with the last strings of sexual pleasure. Edward trembled with pleasure, groaning and biting Bella's shoulder gently. She liked it.
They laid there, naked, under the sunny blue sky. Basking in the afterglow of their first time. She laid with her head on his chest, and his arms around her back. He was caressing her arm up and down absentmindedly. She was caressing his chest in the same manner.
She didn't want to break the bubble, but she needed to know why he didn't want her to be a vampire.
She raised her body without breaking contact. She passed her index finger on his chest trying to come up with the words. He took her hand in his, stilling her nervous movements. With their hands still joined, he tilted her head up, meeting her gaze.
"Talk to me, love."
She squeezed his hands. "I want you to explain from your point of view, why you didn't want to change me." She pleaded soft
He didn't hesitate to answer. "Because I considered myself a monster, a being without a soul. I was condemned and I didn't want to condemn you to this same life. It had nothing to do with you personally. I swear. I wanted to be with you, for as long as I could. It was never an issue of whether I loved you or not."
"It makes sense. I know you never doubted me, or your feelings for me. But it hurt having these memories of you refusing to change me or refusing to talk about the subject. I just wanted to know."
"I swear I never doubted us." He sat next to her, getting to her level.
"I believe you." She decided after a few minutes of silence. She lifted their joint hands and kissed his knuckles. "I know this situation has also been hard on you. First, me with no memories, then me with this weird power, then me with memories. I know it's also a lot of information for you."
"Bella." He interrupted. "Whatever I'm going through or what I think, it's nothing compared to everything you go through. I'm here to support you, to walk with you. I love you and I'll do this with you."
She caressed his cheek and smiled at him. "I wouldn't have come through sane, if I didn't have your support. I just want you to know, I appreciate it. Just in case I get mad sometime." He laughed and kissed her softly.
The subject was definitely not over. They still had a lot of things to discuss, but for now, that simple explanation was enough to put Bella's fears at ease.
They rested again, not bothering to cover their nakedness. They felt even closer than ever. They had always been honest with each other, regardless of feelings. And she didn't want that to change.
She thought about everything she had lived. Granted, her memories were resulting to be somewhat overwhelming, but she had Edward. She knew she could trust him with everything. She thought about how he had ignored her, thinking that that way he was going to protect her, shield her from his nature. The way he saved her from Tyler's van, diving headfirst, without thinking of the consequences of almost revealing their nature. How he had to do some damage control. The way he reacted at Port Angeles, the murderous look he gave those guys. Then, at the baseball field, he was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her.
She stiffened suddenly as a realization came to her when thinking of the baseball field. Edward felt the change and raised an eyebrow in questioning. "Victoria and Laurent." She didn't need to say more. Edward's head fell back loudly to the ground. Just when he thought everything was getting better, life always had to throw him a curve.