237A/N: Hello, all my fans out there. Clearly, many, MANY of you haven't looked at the bottom of my profile description. If you did that, you would understand why a number of my stories are gone. You've clearly checked my page and saw the stories are gone, but you can't be bothered to look up a bit for the explanation. Fine, I'll do it here.
The admins have taken down all the stories that are no longer there. There's your answer. And no, I'm not putting them back up, because they'd just be taken down again, probably with my whole account next time. NOW STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT!
I'm sorry if that seemed cruel, but I've answered so many people asking the same thing already when I have the answer clearly posted where people can see it, yet you all can't be bothered to look before bothering me. And someone named Lord Destroyer even messaged me to ask about the stories, desperately asking me to respond, but they had their PM feature disabled, so I couldn't respond if I wanted to! And I've put the answer in other stories as well and even a few friends have mentioned it in their fics. I literally don't know what else to do besides this to tell you guys what you should already know by now! So, yes. My stories are gone, thanks to the admins and the people who reported me to them and they aren't coming back HERE. But they are still available on Quotev.
The classic HISHE opening rolled through as always. Tony's lab was then shown as Tony was doing his investigation into The Mandarin. "Okay, JARVIS, I just gave my home address to an international terrorist and challenged him to a fight. I want you to cancel all detective work rendering projects and focus ALL of our resources on defending my house from attack. Alright?" The billionaire instructed his loyal AI, swiping away any screens that were related to researching the Mandarin.
"Exactly! You should always establish a perimeter guard and have an offensive ready to meet any challenge." Ironwood agreed.
"Correct, sir. Defense should always come before making a plan of attack." Penny agreed.
"To be fair, Tony wasn't in the best state of mind at the moment." Velvet defended the billionaire.
"Still, you'd think protecting his house, RIGHT AFTER CHALLENGING A TERRORIST, should be priority one." Emerald stated.
"Tony works in strange ways." Blake said simply.
The artificial butler was quick to respond. "Very well, sir. Shall I engage the 'House Party' protocol now then?" JARVIS offered.
Tony stopped walking and raised an eyebrow, the thought clearly never having occurred to him. "Sure, why not?" He agreed. All of the suits were then seen powering up. Savin was then seen flying in one of the helicopters, humming a jaunty tune, before gasping as the countless suits flew to meet the choppers, all of them having their right arm outstretched. "Tank missiles!" They all declared, each one firing a missile towards the choppers, causing a number of explosions, the screen going black to reveal the title with "Iron Man" playing in the background.
"Yes! That is exactly how that should have happened!" Winter declared.
"Oh, man! All those missiles coming at them? I almost feel bad for those poor bastards. Almost." Qrow said with a smirk.
"But then we wouldn't have had the awesome moment where all the suits show off how awesome they are!" Ruby said.
"Yeah! That jackhammer robot with the spike arms was awesome! I might upgrade my gauntlets to do that!" Yang declared.
How Iron Man 3
Should Have Ended
Tony was then shown in Harley's shed. "So, who's bullying you?" He asked.
"How'd you know I get picked on at school?" Harley asked.
"Because you hang out with middle-aged guys in garages." Tony said, his tone of voice clearly pointing out how awkward that is, especially for a child of that age.
"It is always strange when a child prefers to talk to adults rather than other children. The only reason I was comfortable doing so was because father urged me to meet and talk to his business associates." Weiss said.
"Definitely a sign the kid's being bullied." Coco confirmed.
"How do you know that?" Neo asked.
Coco hugged Velvet. "I've known bun-bun here ever since we were little [1]. She had the same issues until I kicked all those punks butts for bullying her." She explained.
"Bullies should have their legs broken!" Nora snapped, the sudden anger unusual for her, but Ren remembered the kids of their village bullying her because she was poor and on the streets.
"Oh." Harley said sadly, looking down.
Tony then brought out the flare he gave Harley in the movie. "Here, kid. Have a weaponized flare to use on bullies... Or whatever." The inventor offered, handing the boy the flare.
Harley took the flare, but looked at it questioningly. "Is this legal?" He asked.
Tony gasped at this. "You're freaking me out!" He cried out, running away while screaming.
This got a chuckle out of the group. "I never thought watching a panic attack could be funny." Cinder said.
"Good thing he wasn't actually that easy to trigger. Imagine if his enemies got wind of that." Ren pointed out.
"It would be very easy for them to cause Tony to have a breakdown and become vulnerable." Penny noted.
The video then fast-forwarded to Tony tied to the bedspring with Killian explaining his plan. "You realize this is the exact premise of the Pixar Film 'Incredibles'." Tony pointed out.
"The Incredibles?" Jaune asked.
"It's another superhero movie. A classic, a lot of people loved it. You'll definitely see it eventually. Maybe you even are in an alternate reality." Katana said. [2]
"Yay! More awesome superheroes!" Ruby cheered.
Killian was caught off-guard at this. "What? No!" He denied.
"Yes." Tony confirmed.
"No, it isn't!" Killian insisted.
"Yes it is! I met you a long time ago, hurt your feelings and it pushed you over the edge and now you're a supervillain currently with the upper hand and I'm temporarily trapped. It's TOTALLY the same story." Tony broke it down point by point.
"Is that the plot of Incredibles?" Penny asked, to which Katana nodded.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with using similar ideas, I suppose." Glynda stated.
"Whatever works." Blake said.
Killian finally stood up and turned to Tony. "This is not... First of all, I'm surprised Tony Stark even knows that movie well enough to reference its storyline and secondly, what do you mean 'temporarily trapped'? Your hands are totally, permanently secured to those zip ties. You're not going anywhere." He declared.
"You are Syndrome and I am Mr. Incredible." Tony declared.
"This is not the same! I can breathe fire!" Killian told him.
"Which is bullshit, along with the rest of your powers!" Cinder snapped.
"Hopefully Syndrome's powers aren't so absurd?" Ren asked.
"No, he actually doesn't have powers, just some impressive technology." Katana said.
"In my mind, that's more interesting, someone compensating for a lack of power with superior wit and technology." Ironwood said.
"Yeah, sounds like he'd be the underdog hero of most other movies." Yang agreed.
"I even have a black friend who helps me fight crime. AND he has a Super Suit." Tony added.
Killian turned around in defeat at this. "Oh, my gosh, this is totally The Incredibles!" He admitted.
The scene fast-forwarded again, with Tony sitting in the booth with Batman and Superman. "You know what bugs me?" Batman asked.
"What?" Superman asked.
It then showed the president as he was strung up. "When the President's being held hostage in the Iron Patriot suit, the suit is completely useless. But when Rhodey puts it on, it suddenly works completely fine!" Batman pointed out.
"Thank you!" Winter cried out.
"That made absolutely no sense." Weiss agreed.
"I am sticking to my theory that the president simply didn't know how to use the suit." Penny gave her opinion.
"That's what bothers you?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, that bugs me." Batman confirmed.
"Well, you know what bugs me? How you got out of Gotham City after climbing out of that prison on the other side of the planet. Why don't you explain that?" Tony countered.
Everyone looked to Katana. "It happens in the batman Dark Knight trilogy. A villain named Bane breaks Batman's back, then dumps him in a prison that was more like a giant hole in the ground, but an inmate doctor fixed his back by punching his spine back into place, then Batman climbed out, got back to Gotham and beat Bane... Kind of." Katana explained.
"What?! How! This is absolutely NOT how you repair a broken spinal column!" Ironwood said.
"Movie logic, James. Forget it." Qrow told him.
"Wow. Sounds like Batman and the DC heroes have a lot of insane and awesome adventures." Jaune noted.
"The Dark Knight trilogy is considered their absolute best. Their modern stuff isn't as great, but I can still enjoy them. At leas they're not as ridiculously OP as they are in the comics. Just as long as they don't try to cram 5 plot lines into one movie again." The Ice demon said, much to their confusion.
"Why do so many people have a problem with that? It's like I said: it's because I'm Batman!" The Dark Knight declared.
"Can we get back to the story, please?" Superman requested.
"Fine. Continue." Batman permitted.
Another fast-forward, Tony and Pepper are making out and holding each other as the suits explode. Tony then thought of something. "Hey, how come your bra didn't burn in the fire?" Tony asked.
"Pervert." Winter growled.
"That's why he's the best." Neo giggled.
"He has a point, though. Mine used to burn up whenever I used my semblance. That's why I stopped wearing them." Yang said.
"Yang! TMI!" Ruby cried out.
"What?" Pepper asked, pulling away.
"Tony!" Captain America suddenly called to the billionaire as he and the rest of the Avengers, minus Thor, appeared. "The world's in danger! It's time to assemble! We need you!" Cap instructed.
"Raar! Avengers! Need Tony! Need Suit!" Hulk agreed.
"And once again! This is precisely why you don't detonate your main source of protection and the thing that allows you to defend the world as you claim to do. How can he help them save the world without his suit?" Ironwood demanded.
"Well, in that case, Tony may be able to use his intellect to assist them as needed." Ozpin suggested.
"But, isn't that like Fury's job?" Velvet asked.
"Exactly. They don't need two chefs in the kitchen." Cinder agreed.
"Are all your metaphors related to heat and fire?" Neo asked.
"Yes." Cinder confirmed.
Tony was surprised at this. "Oh, you guys ARE still around! I'm sorry, everyone, I just blew up all my suits. I'm kind of a changed man now." Tony explained.
"Why would you blow up all your suits!?" Cap asked, shocked and horrified.
"See, it was kind of metaphorical, showing Pepper she's more important than any mission and I'm more than just a suit. Plus, it's Christmas." Tony explained.
"A nice sentiment, but still an irresponsible use of the suits." Ren said.
"He could have at least saved a small handful in case of emergencies." Glynda agreed.
"Exactly. Now if his house is attacked again, he will die because he won't have a suit to fight back and survive with." Emerald pointed out.
Suddenly, lightning shot down from the sky and Thor appeared. "Hazaah!" Thor declared, before walking onto the screen. "I heard your call, my brothers and sister! Let us go forth to victory!" Thor cheered.
"Tony just blew up ALL of his suits!" Cap told him.
Thor was shocked at this. "Say-eth whaaaat?! Why wouldst thou do this?!" Thor asked in confusion.
Nora laughed at this. "Sayeth whaaaat?!" She repeated, giggling again.
"It is quite funny to mix up Olde English with modern slang." Pyrrha admitted, giggling as well.
"Still, it's rather hard to imagine Thor acting and speaking like a modern person." Penny said, causing Katana to silently giggle.
Fury suddenly walked past Tony and Pepper, talking into an earpiece. "Yeah, Stark is out. He's... He's totally whipped." Fury explained, Pepper heating up a bit, not appreciating the comment. "But I might have an alternate." He declared. "Pepper, you're basically like Terminator 2 now." Fury told her.
"You wanna take Tony's place on this one?" Cap asked.
"Me?" Pepper asked in shock, pointing to herself.
"Yeah, girl! You wanna go save the world?" Fury offered.
"Really? That actually sounds exciting!" Pepper said eagerly.
"She can't replace me! What's going on here?" Tony questioned.
"She killed the Mandarin!" Cap countered.
"With my tech! Guys, I blew up all of my suits, that doesn't mean I'm not still Iron Man." Tony insisted.
They paused for a moment, before... "So you wanna go with us?" Fury asked.
"Okay!" Pepper agreed, hurrying after them.
"Ouch. Did everything to save her, now he's getting replaced by her." Qrow chuckled.
"Isn't that hypocritical, though? She wanted Tony not to be a hero, but then she rushed to be one?" Jaune asked.
"It's not canon, Arc. Chill." Coco told him.
"But he's got a point, she also was scared and said how violent it was when she killed Killian. I don't think she'd want to do that too much more." Velvet added.
"Oh, thanks a lot, guys! Come on! Pepper!" Tony called after them, following for a bit.
"I love you, sweetheart!" She called back.
"She can't replace me! I am Iron Man, you hear me? I AM IRON MAN!" Tony shouted after them.
"So is JARVIS!" Cap called back.
"Yes! JARVIS finally gets credit!" Penny said happily.
"And they're not wrong. He did take out more of the Extremis thugs than Tony and Rhodey combined. And for that, he's my hero." Cinder said.
"I'm sure if she tried she could be a great hero." Velvet said happily.
"Maybe, but they should at least get her some combat experience before a mission that is a planet-level threat!" Winter pointed out.
Tony was now back in the café with the DC heroes. There was a short pause before Batman spoke up. "So, are you retired now, or what?" Batman asked.
"I don't know, are you retired now?" Tony countered defensively.
"Well, he became quite defensive at that. Perhaps he wasn't quite ready to retire." Ozpin noted.
"He was. He was actively looking for ways to limit his involvement with the Avengers and come up with solutions so the Avengers were no longer needed. It didn't go well." Katana explained.
"Still, it definitely seems more like Pepper's decision than his." Jaune said.
"But that just means Tony does deserve her, because he's stepping back as Iron Man to be with her and make her happy." Pyrrha said admirably.
"Well, I know I'm not retired. I'm just getting started." Superman said, getting up. He then took off his red briefs and his belt.
"What the!?" Weiss cried out.
"What on Earth is he doing?!" Glynda asked, shocked at this behavior.
"They were referencing Man of Steel, the new Superman movie that came out after Iron Man 3. He doesn't wear the red undies and yellow belt in those ones, thank the gods." Katana explained.
"Agreed. Major fashion disaster." Coco agreed.
"I always did think that was a little weird in comics." Ruby admitted.
"Early heroes were mostly based around circus strong men, who usually dressed like that." Cinder explained.
"How do you know that?" Blake asked, a bit surprised. She did on occasion read some of Ruby or Jaune's comics.
"She's a comic nerd." Neo explained, ignoring her leader was held back by the adults.
"Here, hang onto these for me, will ya?" The Kryptonian requested, tossing them onto Batman's chest.
"What the!? Gross!" Batman snapped.
Superman was now only in his bodysuit, cape and boots. "I'll be right back." He declared, squatting down. "Reboot!" He declared, jumping and flying through the ceiling, causing debris to fall down from the roof.
There was another short pause before. "I AM Iron Man." Tony insisted.
"I'm Batman." Batman declared.
"We get it! You're both awesome! Whoopty-do! You can still say more than just your names. You're not pinchermon!" Yang snapped.
"Thanks, Firecracker. That was getting annoying. But still not quite as bad as your puns." Qrow said, laughing as Yang punched him in the arm.
The End
"I quite enjoyed that. It pointed out all the flaws I found." Winter said.
"And it was still funny." Ruby giggled.
"I loved it when the Avengers all ditched Tony for Pepper." Yang laughed.
"Yeah, great way to repay the guy who saved the city from a nuke." Neo pointed out.
"To be fair, Tony did good without his suit on a stealth mission, but I doubt he could just make some stuff on the fly if they're doing another world saving mission that's anything like the first movie." Ironwood pointed out.
"That'd be pretty hypocritical of Pepper, though, getting on Tony's case about being a hero, only to turn around and do it herself." Qrow added.
"Would be cool to see another girl on the team, though." Emerald said.
"So, what's the next one?" Cinder asked.
"Oh, Nora. I think you're gonna be happy, because it's gonna be Thor: The Dark World." Katana explained.
Nora immediately lit up at this. "Yeah! Another movie about Dad! Play it now! Play it! PLAY IT! PLAY IT!" She ordered.
"Alright, alright, chill out!" Katana said, getting her to calm herself, before setting up the next movie.
[1] Please don't point it out if the books on the team said differently.
[2] That would be my good friend church2550 who is writing that reaction.