A/N: Originally written for Writing Rainbow Nail Polish round on AO3 for ziskandra. Fic titles had to be a nail polish color. I think this was a fun dark polish from... Revlon? Yeah. That sounds right.

Thank you for this fantastic prompt to thoroughly push me out of my comfort zone! I love Kaidan and I love Garrus, so seeing the throuple was very enticing to get to work through. And who doesn't love a good patch-up after a scuffle? This is also my first forey into writing for Mass Effect so I definitely apologize in advance for any dumbass mistakes.


"That was… an interesting strategy," Kaidan offered. He was leaning against the bathroom sink, his arms crossed and an eyebrow arched as he considered the pair next to him. "Did you know that the ambassador was combat trained or was that just as pleasant a surprise for you as it was for me?"

Shepard leveled a glare at him. She was sitting on the closed toilet, crammed into the relatively tiny room that was not intended for three bodies. In her black cocktail dress and face done up with actual makeup, it still managed to have teeth behind it. The woman could be intimidating in any situation. "I plead the fifth," she replied shortly. That was an answer on its own.

Her hair was disheveled from the scuffle, though earlier it had been neatly pinned into an updo. She pushed a stray lock back behind her ear. It earned her a swat on the hand by Garrus. "Stop fidgeting. You're going to get blood on someone, and we're not wearing black like you," he snapped from her side. The more that she moved around, the more his bandaging needed to be adjusted. Taking care of her split knuckles could have been done back on the Normandy, but after the commotion Shepard was resolute to make some kind of amends with their hosts. So field medicine in the bathroom was the next best bet.

"Remind me again why you're not just slapping some medi gel on there?" Shepard said. She had obliged Garrus though and was dutifully staying still now. Her left hand had already been wrapped a few minutes prior. The gauze was a dark grey, a small mercy. It wouldn't look great but it was better than stark white.

Kaidan exchanged a look with Garrus. Since Garrus was doing the hard work, relatively speaking, Kaidan took it on himself to deal with Shepard's poor mood. "The smell is offensive to the Denobulans," he explained. "And since we'd rather not continue to offend the good people of Denobula…"

Shepard winced, though that may have been because Garrus just swiped at a particularly rough patch of torn skin. He murmured an apology and pressed a brief kiss to the inside of her palm as an added gesture. Then he went right back to applying the normal, non-medi gel antiseptic.

"A few minutes more and then we can finish making a final good impression," Kaidan offered helpfully.

"Fine, fine," Shepard grumbled. Kaidan leaned forward from the sink to press another kiss onto her forehead, right between the mussed up bangs that had been pushed this way and that with Shepard's last attempt to fix her hair.

He got his own swat from Garrus, the turian too focused on the final twists and turns of the bandage to be able to glare at him. He grumbled under his breath, "Again, how difficult is it to keep still?"

The small room echoed with laughter from Shepard and Kaidan.

A/N: I am continuing with my eternal theme of stealing throwaway alien species from the different franchises that I love and tossing them into one another. Denobulans of course come from Star Trek :)

Blanket statement for my oneshots - Please do not ask if I am continuing these. They are single "chapter" fics which I am considering complete. Thank you. - DragonMaster65