Death wasn't something that I actively planned for. Who did in the first place? I mean it's something you can't exactly see coming so the best one could hope for is that you didn't draw the short end of the stick.
Unfortunately for me I happened to draw the short end of the stick on one particular night.
I was there, in my car waiting for an intersection to turn green so I could make my turn. My eyes were groggy from having to spend most of the day at the university and all I wanted to do was pass out on the bed.
Still I was awake enough to drive safely back home without much fuss. All I needed to do was turn the corner and drive a few more blocks and I would be home free.
Well the drunk truck driver that ran the red light had different plans as the last thing I could see was the truck's bright headlights before nothingness overtook me. I almost wanted to laugh, a truck of all things being the one to take me out. If I could I would've laughed at the irony.
I had expected to be suddenly catapulted into Heaven, I wasn't that religious so I didn't really know if there was a God waiting for me but I knew that he had to exist in some way shape or form.
What I hadn't expected was to be suddenly thrust into a loud blurry and definitely unknown setting. From having clear sight to suddenly being assaulted by bright blurry lights. I guessed it was shorter than a second from me getting hit by the truck to whatever the hell was happening right now.
So many things were going through my mind that I didn't even realize that I was crying as loud as I could, my brain probably having reached the breaking point and this was the only thing my newborn body could do in this sort of situation.
My confusion only increased when I could feel my body being carried by some unseen force, my vision only providing me some sort of blurry green object.
"Congratulations ma'am, you've given birth to a very healthy baby boy." Was all that I heard before I could feel my mind freeze at what I presumed to be a doctor's voice. There was no way what I heard was true.
There was no what I thought was happening was actually real. There was just no way, you saw this sort of stuff in books and shows!
Yet the sounds that I could hear of machines beeping in the background and the distinctive shuffling of people in the background told me otherwise as I began to piece together that I wouldn't see the people that I loved.
That I would never get to see them again and how I could never say my last goodbyes to them as some sort of closure.
My internal dread was not recognized as my frail newborn body was handed off to another set of arms. The blurry light fading away as a face came into my field of vision. My eyes as a newborn weren't able to clearly define whose face I was seeing but judging by the outlines of a smile I had a pretty good guess that this was my mother.
"Ah my sweet little angel," She raised me up and planted a very sweaty kiss to my forehead.
And with that I let my consciousness get swallowed by the void, whether it was from the trauma of just having my old life get ripped away or the exhaustion of just being born.
All I wanted to know was why it had to be me in the first place.
Let me tell you straight up that being reborn sucked.
But you're probably asking why that is. After all, sticking a grown up into the body of a baby should make the life of my parents easier as they wouldn't have to be woken up rudely in the middle of the night by my cries.
But that would be raising so many red flags if their child wasn't acting like a regular baby, and in this case it was easier said than done with my mind still coping with the fact that I had just lost everything in the span of five seconds.
I wasn't crying all the time as I was during the first week of being reborn but there were times where I just couldn't help it.
I would be laying in my crib, just minding my own business as I waited for the day to end when my mind would wander...back to my previous life. Being a baby really didn't allow for me to do anything else to pass the time.
And so I found myself frequently looking back on the memories of my old life. It was rather strange seeing my memories throughout the ages even though I was currently a baby now. If I had to describe how I felt the closest thing that I could describe it as if I was watching the super emotional autobiography of a close family member. Regardless of the emotions that each memory had, no matter how embarrassing it could be, I just yearned to re-experience it in some shape or form.
Boring days of school, joyous reunions with family, major events, a part of me just felt hollow knowing that none of that mattered here.
And so I found myself looking back to each and every memory I had of all the people I had met in my old life. Some were forgettable, only knowing their names and an interesting tidbit of information about them. Others were people that I drifted away from due to a plethora of reasons, I would often find joy at the shenanigans that I pulled with them that made my days move a bit faster.
But the most painful were the people that I got really close to, like 'I would die for you' kind of close. The bonds that I painstakingly forged with them had all been turned to dust.
It didn't matter that I was an adult in a baby's body as my restraint would be broken and I cried as much as my tiny lungs could.
The only relief that I could find in my episodes was that it wouldn't go unnoticed by long as my mother would quickly pick me up in her arms and rocked me whilst singing a lullaby to calm me down.
I didn't know if I could accept her as my new mother. I knew that would just be unfair to her just because I couldn't move on but I felt as if I was spitting on my mother's memory just by accepting this new life of mine with little to no trouble.
I just needed time to process everything, time I hoped my new mother was willing to wait for.
But enough with the moping, I had months to do that.
I came across something peculiar when my eyes could properly see after a month or so in this new world and everything was no longer a blurry image.
It was that my new mom had red hair, and no I'm not talking about your typical redhead.
No I'm talking about the bright red anime hair.
My mother must've noticed my staring the first time I had seen her hair with my eyes as she chuckled before taking me into her arms. "Do you like my hair Haruto-kun?" She giggled as I ran my hand through her bright hair, marveling at how natural it was.
Yes that was my name in this new life.
Haruto, Haruto Nakamura.
With my sight now returned to me, I got to fully explore just what kind of life I got myself into. I was able to learn that I lived in some sort of suburban neighborhood in Japan. My knowledge about Japan was only limited to what I would watch through anime so I really couldn't tell you where I exactly lived in the nation.
My family was stereotypical. My mother was the housewife who kept the house tidy and clean while watching over me and my father worked the weekdays and spent the weekend with his family as we did normal things a family did.
My mother was clearly the one in charge of the relationship, not to say that she didn't care of my father's opinion but I could see first hand that my mother simply had the aura of someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.
After hitting the three month mark, I was finally able to sort of show off the adult mind of Haruto Nakamura. No longer did I cry or have temper tantrums that a baby of my age would normally have, having moved on a bit from being reborn as a newborn.
It was definitely something that my mother and father picked up on as they started to brag to our neighbors on how their son never raised a fuss. How I never cried out of the blue, only if I soiled my diapers, which really sucks by the way as an adult, or if I was hungry.
And that was enough for my parents to be the "children raising gurus" that you could go to on how to raise your child properly. And judging by how many times we would get visited by the neighbors per week, apparently not raising a fuss every hour was a huge deal to new parents.
It definitely wasn't because I was essentially a human adult in the mind of a baby, yup definitely not the reason why.
As such my parents began to teach me things that you normally wouldn't do to a three month old baby.
One day I found myself sitting in the living room, watching my parent's fight over each other while I watched with a big smile on my face. It was the weekends and it was during these times that us as a family were together.
What were they fighting over exactly?
My mother had a huge smile on her face as she slowly began to teach me on how to say her name. My father caught on what she was trying to do and did the same as the two had a small competition on whose name I would utter first.
I never knew why this was a thing, was it because of favoritism? That whoever's name that I said would solidify who I loved more, which in my opinion was dumb.
But that didn't mean I couldn't have some fun with this.
"Can you say Kaa-san for me Haruto?"
"What about Tou-san? Can you say it for me please?"
And I was very tempted to give in to either of my parents. A big smile on my face as I watched my parents try to one up the other. Over time I slowly began to accept these two people as my new parents, that the life I had was truly over.
Did that mean that I forgot about it? Not at all, a piece of me was still hurting over the fact that I had lost my life a couple of months ago but no longer did it hurt that I couldn't move on.
Maybe one day I could lay rest to the old vestiges of my previous life.
And just as my four month old self was about to give in to one of my parent's pleas, I was suddenly picked up by another familiar figure. "For shame, forcing a child to choose between their parents. My visiting grandmother admonished the two before cooing at me which was my cue to begin giggling.
"See even little Haru-kun agrees with me."
I resisted the urge to laugh when I saw my parents' sheepishly rub the back of their necks in embarrassment. "But Kaa-san," My mother spoke up. "Weren't you like this with me when I was a baby?"
My grandmother simply smiled before turning her back towards them as she looked at me once more, completely dodging the question. "Let's leave these two alone for awhile shall we? I want to spend some time with my grandchild."
I giggled before resting my head against my grandmother, ready for wherever she was going to take me. But if I had looked at my grandmother a bit longer, I would've noticed how my grandmother's eyes lingered on me for a bit longer than she was supposed to.
Years passed and I was of the tender age of six when I was finally forced to enter every child's worst nightmare.
"Is my little Haruto ready for school?" My mother asked as I stood in front of a mirror, school uniform already worn. In the United States uniforms weren't really something enforced by the schools and seeing the typical black uniform like this was something that I only saw in anime.
And yet seeing me wearing one now only reinforced the fact that this life as Haruto Nakamura was indeed real and not some sort of elaborate dream.
Apparently my silence was an answer as my mother picked up that something was wrong as she looked down at me in worry. "Is everything okay? Is the uniform too tight?"
My eyes widened as I realized that I got lost in my thoughts and it seemed as if I was upset, "Uh no Kaa-san...I'm just worried that I won't be making any new friends." That was not a lie, I was worried to a degree that making a new friend was going to be a challenge.
After all, making a friend when you were a child was substantially easier than making one as an adult. You didn't have to worry about all the troubles that came with being an adult, as a child all you had to worry about was who you were going to spend playtime with.
My mother smiled before she kneeling down and giving me a hug. "Oh don't worry about that, I'm sure all the kids at school would love to be your friends." She said with her eyes beaming with pride.
With the positive reinforcement from my mother, I looked back at the mirror and took note of my new appearance. Red hair that I inherited from my mother and hazel colored eyes from my father. A combination that you'd only see in an anime.
As I looked at my reflection from the mirror. I couldn't help but feel that I should be remembering something. That this reflection seemed familiar to me, not in the sense that it was my new body but rather it was something important that I should be remembering from my old life.
Ever since I began to age more as Haruto, the memories of my old life began to slowly fade away. Important memories I could still recall with clarity but less important ones were getting harder and harder to keep track of with each passing day.
I contemplated keeping some sort of journal to record my memories but ultimately decided that the cons of it being found outweighed the potential pros. I didn't want someone like my mother or father finding the journal and confronting me about it.
That was not a conversation that I was looking forward to.
And I didn't want my parents to begin to have a crisis over something they had no control over. That the child that they raised was actually an adult that just happened to be reborn as their son.
Yeah, let's not do that.
But the thought that I was forgetting something very important did not leave me when I eventually took my mother's hand before we walked towards the school, nor did it leave when I introduced myself to my classmates at the front of the classroom.
But when I realized how boring school lessons could be, I had totally forgotten about it.
Ever heard of that theory that there exists an infinite universe of different realities? It was something that always bothered me as I grew up as Haruto. As I grew older, I began to notice how similar this life was to my old one.
And that prompted a period of paranoia that had me wondering if it was the same earth that I had once lived in or if it was really a different earth.
As of yet there wasn't anything that seemed too different from the earth that I was familiar with. History flowed the same way as it did, no major deviations from major world events.
Well that was until a certain class of history class in middle school revealed the first big change in worlds.
Ever since beginning school, I breezed through it. With the mind of an adult any test that my teachers presented was done without any troubles. I proudly presented a perfect test score to my parents, who were delighted to see how smart their child was.
But where I excelled in academics, I failed miserably in socialization.
I was never really the most social in school. In fact I preferred to be left to my own devices and be allowed to read my books in peace. Seems that habit carried over as I would most often than not read a book that a child of my age would have difficulty reading.
I made no real attempts to make any friends, quite hard when you're an adult in the body of a child so I didn't think that anything different would happen in this life.
Yet the moment that it was clear that I was the smartest kid in class, I began to have the same importance as the most desired toys a kid my age would want.
"Nakamura-san will you be my friend?" Was the common sentence spoken as kids began to swarm around my desk trying to be my friend like bees to honey.
It must've been a hilarious sight for my parents to see their usually composed child suddenly begin to act like the world was going to end just because he suddenly got popular. My mother was delighted that I was becoming the center of attention.
I truly did try to be the person everyone wanted to be but in the end I had to have my sensei bail me out when she realized that I couldn't handle the attention, bless her soul. She told the class that it was rude to try and force themselves to be my friend and that I had a say in it as well.
From there the swarming stopped as only a handful of people were still trying to be my friend, nothing that I couldn't handle. I strived to do my best and be as friendly as possible to anyone in my class and help them with anything that they didn't understand in the lecture.
This lifestyle of mine never left me as I began middle school, where academics took it up a notch. But even then most of the knowledge I had known beforehand so school was still a breeze that I just had to endure.
Life at home was similar. Other than birthdays and family visits there wasn't anything ground shaking. The relative calm was something that was appreciated. I didn't want to be a part of some special prophecy or whatnot, I just wanted to live this life to the fullest.
But in today's history lesson, a wave of dread filled me as we began to cover history of the mid 1900s. History wasn't something that I worried about, everything that happened in my previous world lined up perfectly with this world's history.
Which was a bit suspicious in itself but I wasn't complaining.
That is until we came to the period of 1952 where a massive explosion apparently decimated the entirety of Berlin.
I wasn't a huge history nerd but even I would remember an event that would completely obliterate the capital of Germany. Especially since I knew this was around the time of World War 2 and I knew Berlin was captured and not destroyed. What's even more suspicious was that there wasn't even a solid reasoning why the explosion took place.
Some speculated a hidden war, others a weapons test gone wrong, some people believed that it was the works of aliens. Regardless of what people believed I knew that there was something strange going on.
I just couldn't make a guess on what it was.
And to make matters worse, there was another cataclysmic event that occurred that didn't line up with my world's timeline. In 2000 a meteor shower apparently laid waste to the entirety of Siberia and the Russia Far East, which was only 3 years after my birth into this world.
I could accept that this world's history did not have to necessarily line up with my old one's. I could accept the fact that just because the two worlds had many similar events that it did not mean that there could be discrepancies.
But I just had this unshakable feeling this was important. That this was something world-changing. But for the life of me I just couldn't figure out why that was. I had all the information in front of me, I was just missing one key crucial detail to piece it all together.
Still worrying like this wasn't going to help me. With a deep sigh Haruto Nakamura pushed these murky thoughts to the back of his mind and refocused on the lecture at hand.
Still the thought of something big happening soon was ever so present in his mind.
"Principal are you sure that this is real?" My mother asked with shock in her voice as she read the paper in her hands. Next to her my father had an equally shocked expression on his face as he tried to register the news.
It was the middle of my last year in middle school when me and my family had been called to a meeting by the principal with something having to do with my future. Judging by how urgent the call was I first had thought it was something bad, had I done something so bad that I would be confronted by the principal himself?
Luckily for me, it was the complete opposite.
Behind his desk, the principal of my school smiled as he leaned forward. "Yes Nakamura-san, it is as you believe. The head of Massive Electric Corporation himself wishes to pay for your son's admission to Chiba Academy, which as you know is one of the top academies in the world."
"B-But we never applied," My mother breathed out. I had to place a hand on hers for her and give her a reassuring squeeze to know that she could take her time. Taking a much needed deep breath, my mother continued. "I'm sorry kōchō sensei but I'm not sure how this all happened in the first place."
All too happy to explain, the principal leaned back into his chair. "As you know we wish for all our students to succeed in life. In Haruto-san's case, I knew that your son had much more room to grow, beyond what our school could ever hope to give him so I decided to send his latest scores to the academy for evaluation."
The principal turned his attention towards me. "Well they took an interest in you and decided that a little test was needed to see if you were really worth it, do you remember that test you took a month ago?"
A month ago? My mind thought back to anything peculiar about any of the tests that I took stood out. The only thing that came to mind was the midterm that…
So that was the reason why that test was so different from the rest! Midterms were somewhat easy and something that I didn't put much worry into. Imagine my surprise when the test questions were something that I would see in a college exam rather than a middle school midterm.
It wasn't anything I couldn't handle but it was the first time in awhile that I had to actually work to do well in an exam.
"Well you placed rather high on that exam, so much so that it caught the attention of Raiden-san himself." At the mention of the name, a wave of deja vu washed over me. My once lax attitude got replaced with seriousness as I paid attention to
"To garner the attention of the head of the Massive Electric Corporation is no small feat, which is to my belief that you should accept Raiden-san's scholarship to Chiba Academy." The principal finished before my parents began to ask their own questions.
I didn't pay too much attention to what was being said between them as I focused on what I had just heard.
I knew these names somehow. There was something important here, something very important here but what was it?! What was I missing here to complete this puzzle?!
"We'll take it kōchō sensei." My mother's determined words broke me out of my thoughts. My hazel eyes looked at her in shock at just how fast she came to the decision.
"B-But honey how will he exactly attend the school?" My father voiced my concerns for me. I knew that there wasn't a place called Nagezora anywhere near here and I know that the family couldn't exactly afford to move to a new city.
"Have you forgotten that my Kaa-san lives in Nagezora? Haruto-kun can live with her as he goes to school there and we can send him money for him to be able to live on his own." My mother's eyes became pleading as she looked my father in the eye. "Our son could live a successful life if he goes."
It looked like my father wanted to say more but any arguments he might've had died in his throat as he accepted the decision. "What about you Haruto-kun?" My father's eyes moved towards me. "You have the final say in this after all."
Being able to reassure my parents that I had a bright future ahead whilst being able to attend one of top ranked schools in the world for free? Was there really any other option that I could take other than…
And its not like I wasn leaving much behind at this school. Sure I was friendly with almost everybody but I didn't make any life lasting bonds here. And for the few that I was sort of acquainted with there was alway the internet to communicate in.
"Yes Tou-san, I would love to attend the Chiba Academy."
And maybe, I could finally find the last piece of this puzzle that kept bothering me.
After a very teary goodbye to my parents and enduring a long road trip, I found myself moving in with my grandmother in Nagezora. Apparently she was a landlord of an apartment complex that was fairly close to the academy and she had an extra room that I could call home in the meantime.
I didn't need to worry about paying rent as in her own words, "Just focus on being the damm best at the academy."
Nagezora wasn't really anything too special, if anything it reminded me of any major city in the United States. Rural neighborhoods on the outside while it would get more urban as you approached the business district that occupied the center.
The ME Corporation building towered above all others, you could really tell how powerful the corporation was just by how technologically advanced the building was.
Chiba Academy didn't look anything too special, but I had a feeling that a lot of money was poured into making this academy. There was a reason why only the rich/powerful got to attend this school.
And here I was who was neither of those things and the only reason I got in at all was because I still retained my adult knowledge of a previous life. If I wanted to stay I actually needed to get serious about this.
But first things first.
"Greetings I am Haruto Nakamura, I look forward to being your classmate." I introduced myself before bowing in the front of my classroom. Already I could hear the whispers about me already being passed around but I paid no heed to them as I already expected to be sort of an outcast in this school.
After all I was just a transfer student while they had the entirety of middle school to bond with each other.
"I know that you all want to ask Nakamura-san questions but you can ask them later, right now we have to begin class. Nakamura-san you can sit next to Raiden-san in the front, she's sitting right by the window." My teacher directed me towards the empty seat in the front row.
"Ah what?! He gets to sit next to her!"
"What I would give to sit next to The Queen of Thunder."
"He thinks he must be hot stuff now that he gets to sit next to her."
"As if a commoner could be friend with someone like Mei-sama."
I paid no heed to the complaints as I found my desk and sat down on the chair without wasting a beat. I was in the process of getting my supplies out of my bag until a voice interrupted me. "Nakamura-san?"
Looking up I looked to my left to see the most beautiful women I'd have ever seen. Yet I wasn't transfixed on how beautiful she was but rather at the semblance of familiarity that she had.
Had I seen her somewhere before? Where had I seen dark blue eyes and dark purple hair like hers before?
"Mei Raiden, I hope we can get to be friends." She introduced herself.
A scene played out in my mind, cutting through any thoughts I may have had.
The sky was raining as if the world itself was weeping. Thunder echoed in the clouds as a massive vermillion dragon roared.
Standing atop a ruined rooftop, purple eyes sparkling with volatile electricity looked on longingly at the slouched figure in front of her. How it hurt to be the one responsible for the person's condition.
"If I must become the devil itself to save you, so be it." She said resolutely before turning her gaze away.
"Goodbye —" She muttered before she vanished from the scene. The red dragon swooping and picking up its master as they disappeared into the sky.
It took everything within me to not scream out loud as everything suddenly just clicked into place. To why the events that happened in Berlin and Siberia felt strange, why it felt as if Haruto was someone that I knew in my old life, why I somehow knew what the ME Corporation was without even watching the news.
It all made so much sense now.
For I hadn't just met the heiress of the multi-billionaire corporation, the girl that was most probably everyone's dream to date and who's cooking abilities were probably that of legends.
No, I now realized that I was looking into the eyes of the future Herrscher of Thunder, a once fictional character who was instrumental to the story of the universe that was Honkai Impact 3rd.
And I just so happened to be in Nagezora, the city that would be the birthplace to where she would awaken as a Herrscher and set in motion a story that would not be kind to her.
Screwed could not even describe the situation that I was in.
For in every universe that Honkai existed, Haruto Nakamura would join the military when he came of age and rise up the ranks until he would eventually be scouted by the St. Freya Highschool to be the captain of the floating battleship, the Hyperion.
While he would be a captain of the floating battleship, his presence in the events to come would be miniscule compared to those of Kiana, Mei, and Bronya.
Yet Mei Raiden and Haruto Nakamura were never destined to meet in Nagezora, never meant to know each other as classmates.
How would fate ripple as a result of such a meeting that not even the Gods could predict?
So what did you think? I never tried writing a self-insert before and I wanted to try my hand in it. Alongside the fact that Honkai Impact doesn't even have as many self inserts as I thought it would have so I saw this as a perfect opportunity to try it. Also this idea of how I could incorporate a self insert to flow well and be special in its own way would not leave my mind.
I know that the self insert was kind of cliche as that I was hoping for as he wouldn't be expecting something groundbreaking as being reincarnated into the Honkai Universe. Yes he is the red headed captain of the Hyperion, if the story gets received well then I shall continue this and elaborate on how exactly I plan on doing Haruto.
Key Note: I have not finished the Honkai Impact story missions so updates will be slow if this does pick up because trying to find lore on the internet is a mess
Also this is my first time using the -san and -kun suffixes so if theres something wrong please do tell.
Welp that's all for this chapter. If you enjoyed, drop a fav/follow/kudos as they really help me out with creating great chapters. Reviews are deeply appreciated and if you got a question or a really interesting theory I am more than happy to reply.