1Hermione and others react to Tomione, Snamione, Dramione, and Harmony.
Harmony
Author drags Harry Potter and Hermione Granger into a room and shows them some Harmony fics
Harry: Stares at the computer screen
Hermione: looks comically shocked
Harry: N-no way! She's my sister!
Hermione: Looks disgusted at the very idea
Snamione
Author holes Severus Snape out of his potions lab by his ear along with Hermione Granger
Snape: How dare you man handle me in sutch a way? (scowls angrily)
Author: Just shut up and follow me, I want to show you something.
Snape: and what might that be?
Author: Didn't I tell you to shut up? (casts the silencing spell)
Hermione: Where are we going?
Author: to a place.
Hermione: you didn't answer my question! (looks worried)
Author: your question will be answered in no time.
Author: opens the door of a room in which there is a computer
Hermione: what is that drawing! (has a look of horror and extreme disgust on her face)
**that drawing is of Snape and Hermione kissing vigorously**
Snape: looks at the drawing and turns green
Author: lifts the silencing spell, leaving him to talk
Snape: I am many things, but not a pedophile. the idea that I will ever have feelings for Miss. Granger is preposterous, not to mention extremely… extremely… whoever came up with this abomination of a relationship has less brain cells than Longbottom!
Hermione: what has this insane fandom made of us? (a terrified and disgusted look on her face)
Tomione
Author: apparates into the chamber of secrets
Tom Riddle: turns at Author and says: Avada k-
Author: ex smelly armors! (Tom-sama's wand fly's into authors hand)
Tom: how dare you, you muggle filth!
Author: I'm sorry, Tom-sama, but you have to come with me
Tom: and why should I?
Author: because… because… (idea pops into author's mind) because I found the complete prophesy concerning you and the famous Harry Potter!
Tom: looks like the cat who got the canary
Author: I'll tell you if you come with me
Tom: glairs at author then says: fine
Tom: grabs my arm (eww) and we apparate to the room which contains the computer
Hermione: did you get him?
Author: yeah! (grins evilly)
Hermione: shoots author a scared look
Author: sits Tom down in a chair and says: pratrificustortellas!
Tom: freezes like Anna when Elsa accidently froze her heart
Author: turns the computer on and shows them a fic onAO3 called "Blood and Gold by ObsidianPen"
Author: lifts the spell and gives Tom back his wand
Tom: sees the Tomione tag on it
Tom: turns at author and yells: poocio
Tom: How. Dare. You. Suggest. That. I. Would. Love. A. Filthy. Mudblood. Like. her?
Author: it's not me! I don't ship you at all! The fandom loves making outlandish pairings like that! (sobs in agony)
Tom: kicks author aside
Author: stands on shaky legs and turns to look at Hermione
Hermione: wha-wha-what is this? (mouth hangs open and eyes are as big as dinnerplates)
Hermione: throes up on Author's precious computer
Author: oops!
Hermione: dies of disgust
Author: oh no, oh no, oh no oh no oh no!
Dramione
Author drags Draco out of the Slytherin dorms and Hermione out of the library to a room with a computer in it
Draco: why are we here?
Author: because I want to show you something
Draco: I have more important things to do than seeing whatever a piece of muggle filth has to show me
Author: shut up Malformed, and let me show you this thing
Draco: my father will hear about this
Author: no he wont
Draco: yes he will
Author: no he wont
Draco: yes he will
Author: shut up Malfoy! I want to find the thing that I'm looking for, and you're not helping!
Malfoy: my intention was not to help you, muggle filth
Hermione: silencio!
**Malformed falls silent**
Author: aha! (grins in triumph)
**Dramione fanart pops up onto the screen**
Hermione: what is this?
Draco: laughs his ass off
Hermione: why are you laughing?
Hermione: looks properly at the drawing and gets so angry
Hermione: How dare you pair me up with this loathsome, fowl evil little cockroach!
Author: cringes back; this was not a good idea
Draco: the i- the i- the- idea that you would pair me with a mudblood is s-s-so silly! What's funnier is the fact that you think that we might fall in l-l-love!
Draco: stops laughing and glairs at the drawing in disgust
Author: I don't can't decide who's more disgusted
Hermione: fandom, do you hate me that mutch?
A/N: wrote this fic (if you can evin call it that) out of pure boredom . Came down with a cold and stayed at home. Just one thing to clear out: for those who don't know, sama is a Japanese suffix to address a lord. Just used it for the fun of it. Anyways, please tell me which reaction you liked best and why. Please revue!