"So, Haa-san… you believe in reciprocity, right?"
Hatori narrowed his eyes. He knew Shigure laying a trap when he heard it. "It depends. Can you be more specific about what exactly you mean by 'reciprocity'?"
"I mean like…" Shigure idly waved a finger in the air "If I invited you to dinner, it would be only just and fair for you to reciprocate and invite me to dinner in the future. Right?"
"For that specific case only, yes, it would be fair."
"So to extrapolate from that…"
Hatori held up a hand. "Excuse me. I was completely unambiguous that my answer was for that specific case only, and not to be extrapolated."
"As I was saying, to extrapolate from that, you should show me your nudes of Mayu-chan."
Hatori's face reached a new level of expressionlessness. "What."
"I know you've got to have some nudes of Mayu-chan from your trip to Okinawa last summer. Mayu did just announce her pregnancy, so clearly you were indulging in naughty adult relationships-possibly outdoors, possibly on the beach, possibly at sunset. Given such a steamy situation, you clearly had to have taken some racy photos. I want to see them, please."
"I will neither confirm nor deny the existence of any pictures."
"Ooh, sounds like they do exist, doesn't it, Aaya?"
"Indeed, Haa-san could not have more clearly said 'yes' if he had said 'no.'"
"Literally any answer I could have given would have made you think I meant 'yes'?"
Shigure made an "O" sign with his arms. "Pin-pon, correct! Anyway, get your phone out, let's have a look at Mayu-chan sans swimsuit."
Hatori mentally counted to ten. "If I did have these theoretical pictures, why should I show them to you?"
"You saw my girlfriend naked, so I get to see your girlfriend naked. Fair is fair!"
"First of all, as a physician, I am very careful about respecting the privacy of my patients. I only uncover skin if it's medically necessary to do so. Second of all, nudity in the context of medical treatment is completely non-erotic."
"Ooh, did you hear, Gure-san? Haa-san said 'erotic'! Very suggestive!"
"He did indeed. A person could mistake Haa-san for a doctor from a 1970s British sex comedy!"
Hatori ignored them. "Third of all, need I remind you that Mayu used to be your girlfriend. If you didn't see her naked back then it's your own fault for being unattractive to women."
"I was attractive enough to Ren."
"By women, I mean female humans."
"Haa-san makes a good point, Gure-san."
"Hmm. So you're going to be stingy. Fine. Be that way. Aaya wasn't stingy. He showed me nudes of Mine, and he never even saw Akito naked."
"Wait, what?" Hatori turned to Ayame. "I never thought you'd be so crass to share private images of your girlfriend."
"No fear, Haa-san, it's all right, because Mine is an exhibitionist!"
Hatori felt like he was becoming a bit of a broken record, but only one reaction seemed appropriate. "What?"
Mine entered the room, pushing a tea trolley. "It's true. I really am."
"Indeed, you should see the bridal dress I am designing for her."
Mine giggled. "It's illegal in 29 countries!"
"Obviously, the wedding will be restricted to ages 18 and older..."
Hatori closed his eyes, and asked himself-once again-why he was friends with these people.