Katniss.

Katniss. Katniss.

Stop! I wanted to scream at the person, incessantly screaming my name. I needed it to stop before it drove me absolutely mad. I needed it to stop before—

Before.

Before. Four.

Four

41-379

41379. 41379.

I mouthed the numbers silently, my throat aching badly as I tried to vocalize it. I could picture the old, worn napkin, feel the soft, crinkled material in my hands, the slight indents from the numbers…

41379.

"Katniss—"

My eyes snapped open. I stared at the man in front of me, his green eyes shining with tears.

My throat was dry and I struggled to breath with the gravelly feeling in my mouth.

I swallowed and it was as if my mouth was filled with broken glass. "Finn—"

"Shh," He said, a hand resting on my face. "He's not here right now."

I frowned. "But you—"

Finnick smirked that silly little grin that still dances around in my dreams sometimes. "Katniss, how are you feeling?"

I touched my throat. Even pressing gentle fingers to it hurt a little. "My—"

He nodded sadly. "You were screaming all night. I'm surprised you can talk at all."

I closed my eyes briefly. When I opened them again, he was gone.

"Are you alright, Katniss?" Prim asked me, taking her hand away from my forehead. I blinked slowly.

Then I blinked again. "Why was… Why…?"

"Why were you screaming?" Prim looked at me, her blue eyes wide and her brow furrowed in concern. I swallowed again. "Katniss, it's been a long day. Yesterday—"

I looked up when the door opened. Gale walked in, yellow flowers in hand.

I followed his movements as he set them in a glass jar filled with water. Next to the flowers was…

I looked around the room, noticing for the first time just how big my apartment was.

Something was missing.

Prim was watching me. "Katniss?"

I pointed to an open spot on the floor. There was no furniture there.

There should be furniture there.

The spot was too empty. Bright lights reflected against the too-white wall. It needed a spot of blue. That's what used to—

"Katniss!" Prim shook my shoulder harshly. I looked back at her. I looked over at the table, where the stuffed lion sat next to the flowers.

I picked it up.

I held it out to Prim who only stared at it sadly, tears welling up making her eyes look bluer than ever.

"Where—" I cleared my throat again. Then again. Prim continued to stare. I forced the thought into three painful words, like shards in my throat and heart. "Where is he?"

…

"Everdeen… Miss Everdeen!" A pause, then the voice started up again. "Miss Everdeen!"

Miss Everdeen Miss Everdeen Miss Everdeen

The voice kept floating through my mind, over and over again. Miss Everdeen Miss— The words started to blend together until it was just one long, indecipherable phrase blaring through my ears like a siren.

Stop, I told it. It didn't listen. EverdeenEverdeenEverdeenEverdeen— "Stop!" I tried to say, but my lips were glued together, my dry tongue comfortably pressed to the roof of my mouth. There was no motivation to try and speak. Instead, I let out a small whimper, high pitched but raspy, scratching at my weak vocal chords. Prim said I had damaged them. I don't remember how.

My voice interrupted the noise in my ears long enough for me to catch my breath. I hadn't realized I had been holding it.

41379.

"Katniss Everdeen," The woman's voice said one last time. I managed to force my eyes open. She hovered over my chair, staring down at me expectantly. I recognized the woman instantly.

The midwife offered me a half smile, looking down her nose at me, one eyebrow arched dramatically.

I stood up from the uncomfortable metal chair I had confined myself to for God only knows how long.

My lips found themselves unglued.

"Get out," I rasped in a quiet whisper.

The midwife grabbed my arm. "Miss Everdeen, there's a meeting in the command room. Your doctor has given you clearance to attend. I think this could be—"

I pulled my arm from her grasp. The thin hospital gown tore at the first sign of resistance. "Get out!"

She took a step back, holding her hands up as if trying to tame a wild animal. "Katniss, you shouldn't be trying to speak just yet. You're still on vocal rest until—"

"You killed him!" The scream tore out of my lungs, my voice working for the first time in days. The searing pain ripped through my throat again, as if I could feel it tearing apart from the inside. "You killed him! Get out!"

The midwife stood frozen up against the wall. I picked up a nearby vase of flowers and threw it at her head. It shattered against the wall, but glass flung across the room, digging into her skin. She screamed. Gale had brought me the flowers while out hunting. They were pretty and yellow.

The midwife clutched her bleeding cheek as she backed toward the door. My hand found another weapon in the bottle of rubbing alcohol that Haymitch stole from the doctors just for me. I hadn't touched it until now, but it, too, went flying towards the woman who had killed my son. She ducked under the projectile.

Her hand touched the doorknob just as I picked up a third item. The only thing left on the table. It wasn't glass.

My grip on the small stuffed lion loosened as I looked at it.

I heard the door click shut.

I sat back down on the metal chair and closed my eyes.

…

"Katniss," The voices started again. "Katniss!"

Katniss. Katniss. Katniss.

I looked up, hoping the words would go away. Finnick was there.

No, I told myself. Finnick isn't here. He's not here, and he won't be here anytime soon unless you get out of bed and fix this. I blinked hard, and when I opened my eyes, it was Caspian I was looking at.

I smiled at him.

"Hey Katniss." He took my hand gently. "Um…" He licked his lip, not meeting my eye.

Something happened.

It was Finnick. I knew it was Finnick. God, if I had been there, if I had been able to talk to Coin yesterday or the day before like I told myself I would, or even before that. Last week, when I was convinced I was going to talk to her…

"Wh… What…"

Caspian shushed me, as everyone else had for days. I was stuck in this vicious cycle of not listening to people. They would tell me not to speak, just for a day or two, and my throat would be all better. I would go to sleep with the promise of being healthier the next day. I would close my eyes and see the corpse of my child, clutching that stuffed lion (part of me wanted to burn the dumb toy) or the lifeless eyes of my husband and I wouldn't be able to contain the shrill scream.

And then the next day, the doctor or Gale or Haymitch or someone else equally as infuriating would come to see me. They would say one wrong thing and I would lose my temper. All the rules would be broken after that.

Not today, I promised myself. Today, I would remain in control.

Caspian tried to smile at me. "Coin asked for you."

I frowned. That was the first time since the episode with the midwife.

He grinned at the look on my face and tapped the wrist band that had been strapped to me against my will. Emotionally Unstable. "This isn't going to stop her. You haven't had an…" He cleared his throat. "There haven't been any obnoxious midwives bothering you in about a week."

"O…" I cleared my throat and winced at the feeling. Prim had told me not to do that. "Okay."

It was a good thing I had decided to finally get changed out of the old torn up gown. I had told myself moping wasn't going to help anything.

I braided my hair quickly, my fingers flying through the tangles. I reached into my pocket and felt the soft, familiar lion there.

"What does she want?" I rasped out.

Caspian smiled and opened the door for me. "There's a broadcast. Mandatory viewing."

I froze. Finnick.

Caspian's smile widened when he saw my expression. "Let's keep moving. We don't want to miss it."

I skipped after him.

The screen was blaring when we entered the room. The camera was focused on Caesar, but Finnick's voice could be heard.

He was stuttering.

I had never known him to stutter, particularly not while on TV.

"This is… This has gone on for too long. Do you know what wars cost? The price… Is the price of life enough that…"

The camera focused on his face.

I covered my mouth, exhaling. I found myself reaching for Haymitch. "Finn…"

Haymitch gripped my arm, keeping me up steady. "Rest your voice." I couldn't spare him a glare, so he continued. "Saying his name isn't going to help him."

I swallowed again. 41379.

Coin turned around "Glad you could join us, Katniss. We've been waiting for you to be here before we make our next move."

"...I'm sure that Kat…" Finnick trailed off as if he, too, struggled with saying my name. "Katniss… I'm sure Katniss would hold the same opinion."

Caesar leaned forward. "But Finnick, surely you saw the footage of her in District 8? I'm not so sure we're on the same page here."

"The footage in Eight? She's just a girl." He wasn't stuttering anymore. "We're young. She's twenty-one years old. If she wasn't a Victor, she would have just had her first drink a few weeks ago. She's living with the rebels. She's alone and she's afraid. I don't know why anyone is listening to her—or me for that matter. I'm twenty-four, I'm alone in the Capitol, and I'm saying anything I can to make sense of this whole messed up situation."

"He's doing well," Haymitch muttered. "The way he snuck that in there…this interview isn't good for the cause but that last bit could almost save it."

I had several choice words for the cause. The cause got him in this situation in the first place.

I said nothing.

Beetee hit a few buttons. "And now to interrupt your regularly scheduled horse manure," he muttered.

"Are you… Are you… Coming to the tree?"

I stared at the screen, images of me standing in DIstrict 12 cut in front of Finnick.

He stopped his commentary just before I faded to the background.

My husband leaned forward in his chair. The camera caught a bead of sweat on his forehead. "Katniss?"

"Wear a necklace of hope…"

"Katniss? Is that you?"

"Side by side with me…"

Finnick glanced at Caesar quickly then back to the screen, a slow smile spreading on his face. "Katniss, can you hear me? Are you there?"

"If we met…"

He was grinning despite his sallow skin and the veins showing through his translucent hands. He was grinning that same adorable smirk I wished I could kiss off of his face. "Honey, if you can hear me…"

"At midnight… in the hanging tree…"

"Listen, Katniss…" He moistened his lips, no longer fidgeting as he was before, in every other interview since he had been captured. "I'll… I'll see you at midnight, right?"

I'll see you at midnight. That's what I had told him that last night in the arena. The last real thing I had said to him before he had been taken by the Capitol and I by the Rebels.

Caesar chose to interrupt him. "What does that mean, Finnick? Care to elaborate for the rest of us?"

Finnick's eyes stayed trained at the camera. "That's the last thing we said to each other."

"And you wish you could say more?" Caesar prodded.

Finnick blinked slowly. "Ye-yeah… Yeah. Katniss… you and the rebels…" He swallowed. His gaze intensified. I had seen that expression before, when he saw me in District 4 at my Victory Tour and wouldn't speak to me because of my song. I had seen it when Snow decided to resume selling my body after Mags' stroke. I had seen it when he found out I had hidden my pregnancy. "Listen, Katniss. You in Thirteen… You have to listen. The Capitol…" He paused, sending a quick look to Caesar, sitting next to him. "You'll be dead by morning."

The screen went blank, but not before a peacekeeper crossed in front of the Camera, heading towards Finnick.

I tried to rush to the front of the room, my breath coming out quick and unsteady. Haymitch's heavy grip on my arm stopped me from moving. "Haymitch," My voice came out as a whimper. "Haymitch, he—"

"He's in the mansion," Haymitch said, directing his words to Coin. I tugged on my arm. 41379. "We all know his knack for picking up secrets. He could have heard something."

Coin glanced at Plutarch who shrugged in agreement. She crossed her arms. "I guess it's time for an air raid drill."