This has been written for fun and for free, with no claim to characters or situations.

A different kind of war

"I'm glad we've gotten the chance to all catch up" Jhamel said as they walked along. "Shran spends so much time being serious these days"

"A serious Shran is difficult to imagine" T'Pol replied.

"The talks are important to him. He just goes on and on.."

"Hey! We agreed no work talk!" Elizabeth Cutler chimed in.

Jhamel just smiled and shrugged. She loved Terran body language.

"I don't know what half of this stuff is" Hoshi said looking around.

Jhamel stopped to admire the scents at a stall.

Amanda Cole spoke up for the first time since greeting the others "we haven't done a full security scan yet so please be careful"

T'Pol looked down the row. "No it appears not..". The others looked where she was pointing.

A giant image of Jonathan Archer, dressed in a pirate costume slowly traversed through multiple poses. The party was speechless.

"Please tell me I've been dosed with some really powerful hallucinogen." Hoshi deadpanned from where she had stopped... her brain having difficulty processing what she was looking at.

"I'm afraid not Hoshi" T'Pol said, trying to comprehend the scene in front of her. For once, logic had failed her.

No one spoke as they walked toward the large booth. The giant Pirate Jonathan flexed his muscles and bared his teeth.

A large sign proclaimed the new and improved Xyrillian hard light immersion technology.

Posters depicted 3 different scenarios all involving Jonathan Archer.

"This is either the most elaborate prank I've ever seen or this is the most insane Starfleet PR campaign." Amanda said with laughter, slowly shaking her head in disbelief.

"Talk about winning hearts and minds" Elizabeth added.

"Well, hearts for sure... I'm going to get some answers" Hoshi proclaimed and then went in speak to the vendor.

"You're not going to believe this" she said coming back to the group "They got the data for pirate Archer's voice and mannerisms from recordings on an Illyrian ship"

They all looked at each other, knowing exactly which ship it came from and why someone might be motivated to part with the recordings.

"I guess those reparations weren't quite enough" Elizabeth commented.

Hoshi continued "In that scenario he kidnaps the Ambassador's daughter for ransom. Apparently they had researched what a Terran pirate should look like and generated his costume... There's another program where you're both prisoners in Rura Penthe. You need to share body heat to stay alive... I can't believe I'm saying these things. This is surreal."

"The Klingons must have sold him out for that" Amanda speculated.

Other than the birth of her child, Jhamel couldn't remember wanting to have the gift of sight more than she did at that moment. The feelings of mirth rolling off of her companions was overwhelming.

Hoshi gathered herself and continued. "The third scenario is a re-creation of the Enterpise Decon chamber."

"Oh my god! No way" Elizabeth turned bright red. The ladies all laugh and some admit to having had that fantasy themselves.

"Maybe now that it's a museum, it wouldn't be hard to take recordings for the environment." Amanda noted.

"The vendor mentioned that pirate archer is the top seller." Hoshi added.

The ladies titter that everyone loves a bad boy.

Jhamel thought for a moment "you know, this might explain the rumor that the Andorian Ambassador has a shrine to Jonathan in her quarters."

T'Pol couldn't take any more. She reached for her communicator. "T'Pol to Jonathan".

"Yes? Are you in trouble already?"

"No, but I believe you might be" she replied. "Can you come down to the market? We're in the third isle, south end."

"I'll be right there" he said and the comm line went silent.

A few minutes later Jonathan was walking down the row, deep in conversation with Admiral Gardner.

"I don't understand what you're asking Sam".

"Just have dinner with the Rigellian ambassador. She said she wanted a personal but thorough explanation of the benefits of joining the Federation." Gardner said with a huge grin.

Jon wasn't sure where the conversation had gone. "What is that supposed to... wait what the hell is that!?" He had been looking at T'Pol until they got close and then couldn't help but notice the over life-sized image with his face on a body out of some trashy romance novel. He gave T'Pol the side eye glare. "Did you take part in this?"

Ambassador T'Pol gave her most haughty look "No, none of us did. This is why I called you"

"Oh... uh... really?"

"Yes sir" Hoshi replied through laughter, her eyes wet with tears. Other than T'Pol, the ladies were all laughing or snickering.

Jon turned to Gardner who strangely looked unfazed... as if... "You knew!?"

He smiled. "Well... yeah. I mean, legal went to shut them down about 6 months ago. Then they found out how much it was making. And remember when you said you'd do whatever it took to get the warp 7 engine project back on track? Well, the extra funds did just that and more." He held out his arms as if to say 'what can you do?' Like that made it acceptable.

"You pimped me out!?"

Gardner's smile dropped. "We officially licensed your image for limited use... and allowed detailed scans of Decon on the Enterprise."

"But how could... "

"Recruitment is up 6%"

"I can't believe this. I'm dreaming."

T'Pol stopped staring at the poster of a smoldering eyed Jonathan holding out a jar of decon gel. "Admiral..." she said looking at Gardner "i couldn't help but overhear your earlier conversation. I have to apologize on behalf of Jonathan, he has a prior engagement this evening." She turned to Jonathan "Shall we Captain...?"

To which he replied with some confusion "I haven't been your Captain for a long time T'Pol."

"Yes well tonight you are. I spoke with Phlox and he said a very nasty pathogen might be in the air. We could be in decon all night... Captain"

"Yes dear" All else forgotten, he smiled and took his wife's hand.

As they were walking away, Jonathan heard Admiral Gardner ask, "did anyone hear about the shrine?"