Uninspired Voyages

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Flashback: 11001001

The Enterprise-D has docked with a local starbase for some computer upgrades. These are being done by the Bynars, cybernetic aliens who work in pairs.

Bynar 1: "We are-"

Bynar 2: "-Working on improving-"

Bynar 1: "-your systems."

Bynar 2: "To increase your-"

Bynar 1: "-system efficiency-"

Bynar 2: "-and computational-"

Bynar 1: "-power."

Shepherd Jr: "Wow Wesley. I have finally met people even dorkier than you."

Wesley: "Hey!"

Riker: "Well... You two keep an eye on them."

Shepherd Jr: "Wait, why do I have to?"

Riker: "Two sets of eyes are better than one."

Shepherd Jr: "I was going to cheer on Worf and Yar while they kicked ass at the Parrises Squares Tournament!"

Riker: "You can catch the next one, promise."

Shepherd Jr: sigh "Fine..."

So Shepherd Jr. and Wesley watch the Bynars. It is as scintillating as watching paint dry. Shepherd Jr. mostly plays on his PADD, listening to 'Logical Fallacy". He headbangs along to the badass yet intricately and mathematically devised lyrics refuting Tavrak's Material Economic Postulations.

Wesley: "Gah! Why do you listen to that stuff?!"

Shepherd Jr: "Gee, I dunno, because it's awesome?"

Wesley: "It sounds like Klingon music!"

Shepherd Jr: "No, this is Klingon music." He switches to a much angrier sounding band "This is 'Kahless Riders', and they're fucking awesome! WOO!"

Wesley: "Can't you listen to some... I don't know... Earth music?!"

Shepherd Jr: "Fiiiiine..." Switches to Neo-Metallica

Wesley: "GAH! What's that?!"

Shepherd Jr: smirk "Earth music."

Wesley: "Was it made during the Atomic Horror or what?!"

Shepherd Jr: "Geez, your mom really sheltered you didn't she?"

There is a warning beep at a nearby bridge console. Shepherd Jr. turns off his music. Wesley goes up to it to check. Shepherd looks over his shoulder.

Wesley: "... Uh oh."

Shepherd Jr: "Uh oh? What's uh oh?"

Wesley: "There's a problem with the antimatter containment."

Shepherd Jr: "... As in?"

Wesley: "It's failing?"

Shepherd Jr: "..." He immediately taps the communications panel, clears his throat "Ahem... Commander Data?"

Data: "Yes Mister Shepherd?"


Data: "Understood."

Shepherd Jr: Grabs Wesley "Come on! Come on, we're getting off the ship right now!"

Wesley: "But-But-!"

Shepherd Jr: "Look, I don't know starship engineering but I do know that loss of containment equals We're all Gonna Die. So we're going!"

Wesley: "Commander Data hasn't told us to leave yet! Maybe they can fix it-!"

Data: Over the intercom "This is Acting Captain Commander Data to all hands: Abandon ship. Repeat, abandon ship!"

Shepherd Jr: "Oh great! Now there's gonna be a line!"

Nevertheless, everyone gets off the ship and onto the station... When the Enterprise-D pulls away and flies out of the starbase, apparently all by itself.

Wesley: "What...?"

Everyone of the Enterprise bridge crew look at Shepherd Jr.

Shepherd Jr: "... Come on! I'm good but I'm not that good!"

Worf: "No... This was clearly the work of someone else."

Shepherd Jr: "Sooo... Who's gonna tell the captain? Three two one, not it!"