Uninspired Voyages

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Flashback: Regulations

Captain Janeway was working on paperwork in her Ready Room, when there was a chime at the door.

"Come in," she said. Tuvok and Shepherd walked in, and the captain looked up at them.


"Captain," Tuvok reported, "there is a crewmember in flagrant violation of Starfleet regulation we must talk to you about."

"Sir, I don't think this is the best way to go about it-" Shepherd tried, but Tuvok merely glanced at him, and the security chief sighed and nodded.

"What kind of violation?" Janeway asked.

"Violation of Regulation 345.1, Paragraph Alpha: Bringing potentially hazardous liquids into sensitive areas of the ship without proper authorization," Tuvok stated, handing over the PADD. Janeway frowned as she looked it over.

"All right, who is it?"

"You, Captain," Tuvok stated, as Shepherd covered his face and began coughing suspiciously.

Janeway scowled.


"Your insistence on coffee everywhere you go constitutes a violation of this regulation-"

"Coffee isn't hazardous!" Janeway declared, standing up. "That's utterly absurd."

"That's what I told him, ma'am, sir," Shepherd said, "but he was very insistent-"

"Lieutenant, your commentary is unwanted," Tuvok stated.

"Yessir," Shepherd said contritely.

Janeway sighed.

"Captain's prerogative, Tuvok. For the duration of my command, this regulation will not be enforced. On anyone. When it comes to drinks."

Shepherd raised a finger.

"Captain, what if someone brings a gigantic jug of hot coffee onto the bridge? Or a barrel?"

Janeway gave him a withering look.

"You're always saying 'let's think about this': THINK about it before you go reductio ad absurdum on me."

"Yes ma'am," Shepherd said. Tuvok nodded.

"I understand, Captain. I will use proper judgement in my execution of my duties."

"Good! Dismissed," Janeway stated, sipping her coffee. Tuvok and Shepherd turned to leave. "And one more thing!"

Both turned back to her.

"While we are a Starfleet ship, we are a long way from home," Janeway said, "so we can relax some of the regulation enforcement on things that don't make sense. But bring this up with me, first. I don't want you throwing any of the children into the brig for bringing orange juice somewhere sensitive."

"Yes Captain," Tuvok and Shepherd said. They turned and headed out. Janeway leaned back in her chair, and sighed. She consumed more of her precious.

Honestly, some things were just too ridiculous to deal with without coffee-Especially out here!

Shepherd and Tuvok stood in the turbolift, heading down to the armory. Shepherd broke the silence.

"You know, you could have just asked her to let you have tea on the bridge," he said.

"I have endured her teasing long enough to know that would not have been the logical course of action," Tuvok stated.

Shepherd nodded.

"And of course, if I'd brought up the regulation and complained, she wouldn't have bought it because I'm not as much a stickler for the rules." He smiled at Tuvok in admiration. "Logical. Perfectly logical."

Tuvok nodded.

"There is a misconception that logic is the straightest path forward to achieving your goals."

"Which means," Shepherd said with a grin, "that I'm logical?"

Tuvok was silent for a moment.

"In your own way."

"Thanks! I think."

Been a while, I know. There's just so much I want to write and I don't have enough brains!