This is a work of fanfiction using characters from the Harry Potter World, owned by JK Rowling. Excluding all original plot and character content, all of the Harry Potter characters, settings, etc. are the property of JK Rowling. I am not associated with JK Rowling or any creators/producers of any previously copyrighted material. No profit is gained. This story is purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended. Thank you to JK Rowling for producing such a wonderful base to imagine from.
Chapter One: Nightmare Eavesdropping
Harry lay in bed, unable to sleep - not that this was any different from the last few nights. Last night had been a particularly rough nightmare and he didn't feel like succumbing to sleep when he knew the horrors would begin.
He was glad his godfather insisted on giving him his own room, he'd be saved the embarrassment of waking up Ron - Harry loved his friend, but he never really knew what to say.
Harry froze as he heard his godfather's footsteps outside his door and pretended to be asleep when the doorknob began to turn. He didn't want to explain to Padfoot that he was too afraid to succumb to sleep - too weak to fight off the nightmares that haunted him every time he closed his eyes.
Sirius conjured a chair and sat next to Harry's bed - as Harry squinted at him through the darkness he could see that Sirius was tired too, perhaps as exhausted as Harry if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication. He smiled as Sirius' hand moved to brush his hair off his forehead and unconsciously leaned into the parental touch, allowing a soft smile to grace his face and suddenly a few memories fell into place from last night.
Harry remembered the soothing voice of his godfather as he struggled in half-awake mode, his strong arms wrapped in a protective embrace as Harry screamed.
Harry blushed and tensed as he realised the man had seen him having the nightmares he'd tried to hide.
Sirius must've mistaken it for the beginning of a nightmare because his large, warm hand found Harry's. "Shhh puppy you're okay, I got you" Sirius said soothingly, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on Harry's forehead causing Harry to relax again, despite his embarrassment.
Sirius kept running his hand through Harry's hair as he murmured comforting things.
Harry listened as he heard Remus' footsteps stop at his door, but didn't want to risk opening his eyes in case Remus spotted him. After all, the werewolf did have some extraordinary senses.
"Padfoot, I thought I'd find you hear again" Remus said softly, conjuring up a chair beside his friend
"He hasn't had a nightmare yet" Sirius said and Harry smiled as he heard the relieved tone his godfather was using
"That's good, he looks so peaceful when he's okay sleeping" Remus murmured
"Are you alright Padfoot" Remus asked, placing a hand on his friends shoulder
"I just wish I hadn't gone after Pettigrew" Sirius said bitterly and Harry almost made an exclamation of surprise. He knew how much hate his godfather had for the man and was happy the men were now involved in a hushed conversation and didn't notice his surprise
"I know" Remus answered, again to Harry's surprise
"I'm a horrible godfather" Sirius declared and Harry risked peering through his eyelashes to take a look at his godfather's face, immediately regretting it as there were tears streaming down the older man's face as he hung his head.
"You're not a horrible godfather Padfoot" Remus consoled "We all made choices we regret, I should've pushed harder to see Harry when he was younger, it's obvious I … well" Remus trailed off
Harry felt another surprise leap in him, he didn't even know Remus had asked after him
"At least you didn't abandon him for revenge" Sirius spat in self loathing "I comforted myself in knowing he could still have Amelia or you or Andy, but I find out he's been living with Petunia and Vernon and I just…" Sirius trailed off, his voice cracking again with emotion
"I know Padfoot" Remus said softly, tears streaming down his face as well "we can only do what we can now for Harry"
"I know" Sirius said his voice full of sadness "I just wish he considered me his family, like I do to him…I…I consider him my own son and he probably barely knows me" Sirius whispered sadly
Harry, for his part, lay in shock. His son? He felt his eyes well up behind his closed eyelids as he felt a burst of something in his chest
"And….I want to tell Harry how much I love him but I can't….I can't because he's happy without me" Sirius whispered "Molly considers him a son and you know how we don't get along and I just…I always back down and leave the room...I don't want Harry to hate me for disrespecting someone he might consider a mother" Sirius revealed, his voice full of pain.
Harry was still in shock. He loved him. Somebody loved him.
"I don't think Harry could ever hate you Padfoot" Remus said sadly "I think you should talk with him"
"And what about you Moony" Sirius said "I know you love him too, but you've kept your distance"
"Dumbledore said Harry had enough going on without complicating things with me" Remus said bitterly "And Harry deserves a better Uncle than me Padfoot" Remus said resignedly
'Fucking Dumbledore" Sirius spat, and Harry was shocked to hear the hatred behind it
"I just…I wish he'd come into my room when he was sad, I wish he'd talk to me, I wish he knew I was there for him no matter what…I would die for him, he's my baby boy" Sirius whispered
"Maybe you should tell him Padfoot" Remus said softly
"What if I lose him all together, I can't…he's the only thing keeping me going" Sirius choked out in a pained voice
"You won't" Remus assured him "You could even tell him about the next step to the ritual" he suggested, unsure how Sirius would react
A pained look crossed Sirius once elegant features "I can't take James' place" he whispered to Remus "I started the adoption ritual before they died…but now"
"And you started it for exactly that reason Sirius…incase they died" Remus said firmly "You started it because if that blood ritual is completed, absolutely nobody can keep you from Harry, nobody can stop you from being his…Remus hesitated
"His father" Sirus whispered "Oh James" he cried
"I know what it's like to feel guilty" Remus whispered "but if you were in my shoes you know Lily and James would want you to go through with it, it's okay for Harry to have two dads, I know you'll still tell him about James and Lily" Remus said gently
"What if he thinks I'm trying to replace my best friend" Sirius whispered "What Molly said last night, what if he thinks that about me" Sirius said in a broken voice
"I loved James like a brother, but we would all give our lives for Harry, he's our baby, we love him the most and I just want him to know that Moony" Sirius sobbed quietly
"Shhh you'll wake him up" Remus said as he gently guided him from Harry's room and Harry lay there as he let out a breath, his mind jumping all over the place, his heart ready to burst with happiness.