Wow, that's a lot of support! Thank you so much!

Normally, I wouldn't do an author's note here, but I want to show where the cast sits. I would have made a picture so it'll be easier to see, but that's kind of complicated and I'm lazy, so I did it below. Rest of the note will be at the bottom!

Orimoto Empty Empty Haruno Shiromeguri Empty

Empty Miura Hayama Tobe Ebina Kawasaki

Empty Empty Hiratsuka Zaimokuza Totsuka Empty

Empty Isshiki Komachi Hachiman Yukinoshita Yuigahama

Screen

Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu or any of its characters or content.

I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 01

When the title of the show appeared on the screen, most of the audience was confused. That included me.

"Hmm, I have never heard of this before." Yukinoshita held a hand to her chin, before she looked at me neutrally. "This sounds like the title of one of your pitiful light novels. Have you ever heard of it?"

Oi! Don't call my light novels pitiful! But she did make a good point. "Nope. Never heard of it in my life." I knew someone who might though.

I turned around and faced Zaimokuza, who was silently staring at the screen with his arms crossed. "Oi, Zaimokuza." He jumped in surprise, before he turned to me. "Ever heard of that title?"

"Ah, Hachiman! I appreciate you asking me! Unfortunately, I've never heard of this anime in my life!" What makes you think it's an- oh, wait, that's obvious. A light novel has never been adapted into something that wasn't an anime. After all, they all (most) originate from Japan.

I turned back to Yukinoshita with a shrug. Looks like even our resident chuunibyou didn't know anything about this. Oh right, didn't the voice mention something about looking at the multiverse? Perhaps it's a light novel from another world. Huh, I thought I'd be going crazy if I ever had that thought.

That begs the question though: Why the hell did a god want us to watch this?!

The title faded into the darkness behind it. Along with it, the lights around us slowly turned off, giving off an even bigger impression that we were in a movie theatre. Looks like the show was officially starting.

The screen opens to a view of the trees from the ground.

"Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil."

"Eh? That sounds like Onii-chan!" Komachi exclaimed, before realization struck her. "Wait… is this…?"

My eyes widened his eyes in shock. I used to watch a lot of anime back in middle school. Nearly all of them had something in common: Whoever's internal monologue was heard first was the protagonist. And since that was my voice…

"Oi! Voice! What the hell is this?!" I stood up with my fists clenched. Don't tell me…!

"Hikki? Why is your voice there?" Yuigahama asked in confusion, before she widened her eyes and smiled. "I didn't know you were a voice actor!"

Before I could rebuke, Yukinoshita seemed to notice my composure breaking and cut in. "Hikigaya-kun. If you could recall, the voice claimed to have explored the multiverse. This could merely be an alternate universe where you became a voice actor."

"I don't know about that one, Yukinoshita." Hiratsuka-sensei abruptly cut in with a serious expression. "For some reason, I feel like I've heard those words Hikigaya said up there."

"And besides, senpai always says those kinds of things!" Isshiki exclaimed. "This one just happens to have a job!"

"What's with that insult?!" I cried out.

Behind me, Zaimokuza gave a thumbs up. "Well done Hachiman! You've finally reached the point of being an anime protagonist!"

"Y-Yeah! Good job Hachiman!"

I ignored both of their comments (I'm sorry Totsuka!) and started thinking. Me being a voice actor is probably the more logical thought. And yet… those words definitely remind me of something...

Behind the group in the front rows, Hayama's clique was watching the screen with various expressions.

"Huh? Hikitani-kun is speaking? Wow! That's cool!" Tobe exclaimed with a fist in the air. "What do you think this is about Hayama?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Let's wait and see what Voice-sama wants to show us," Hayama said, still smiling. Internally, however, he had his suspicions. I heard Yukino's theory about this being a voice actor. That would make sense, but I'm thinking it might be something else.

Kawasaki said nothing, opting to continue watching the screen with her full attention. She had the feeling that whatever was shown, it would be important. Ebina, on the other hand…

"Oh! Is this finally the Hikitani x Hayama content I've been wanting?!" Just the thought of that gave her a nosebleed. It made Kawasaki wonder how she was still even alive after all of the blood loss.

Next to Hayama, Miura had a slightly bored expression as she watched the screen. It's just Hikio's voice. Like, what is there to get excited about?

Behind that group, Haruno was watching the screen with interested eyes. Like Hayama, she suspected that there was something more to this than it being a voice actor from another world. The same couldn't be said for Shiromeguri, who was imagining what it would be like for Hikigaya to be voicing her favorite characters in movies. Ooh! That one would be cool! Not him though, he needs to be more lively!

Finally, Orimoto watched the screen while feeling out of place. Unlike everyone else in the theatre, she was sitting by her lonesome. The only ones she would have considered sitting with were Hikigaya and Hayama, but both of them were surrounded. All of the open seats were also next to people who she felt like staying away from. Why am I here for this?

A short glimpse of dead fish eyes is seen as it switches from a view of a group of guys to a… suspicious view of a girl.

"Pervert Onii-chan!"

The comment made by my sister was ignored by me. I had already discarded the voice actor theory. How could I not know who owns those eyes?

A high schooler lets out a short laugh and stands up with a smirk. The camera zooms out to reveal that he was in a library. As he walks out, a group of girls are talking and laughing.

"Those who rejoice in youth deceive themselves and those around them, accepting in full the circumstances that devour them."

My eyes widened in recognition. I remembered those words from… quite a long time ago. It was what led me to my current situation, after all.

Hiratsuka also widened her eyes. That's the essay he wrote, isn't it? What is this…?

Meanwhile, the others were surprised to see Hachiman and the area he was in.

"E-Eh? Isn't that Soubu?" Isshiki recognized the library shown on screen. Why is that being shown? Behind her, Miura finally took interest in the viewing, as she realized that this likely was not something fake.

"My my, is this what I think it is?" Haruno had a predatory expression that many would run away from. Next to her, Shiromeguri was still slightly confused.

The scene switches to a girl dropping her books, but another student comes in to help pick them up. Meanwhile, the guy walks past the two.

"In the face of the word 'youth,' they will twist any common interpretation or accepted notion out of recognition."

"W-What?" "Huh?" Several people expressed their confusion.

Various shots of different sports are shown, before it shows some students leaving the school and hanging out.

"Huh? Is that me?" Totsuka observed when it showed him playing tennis for a brief second. "W-What is this?"

"In their minds, lies, secrets, sins and failure are nothing more than the spice of youth."

"I-Is this how you think, Hikki?"

I was still shocked from the events on the screen, but I managed to croak something out. "U-Uh… n-not exactly…"

The screen moves to a very brief shot of a door, before switching to a view from the school roof. Our protagonist is shown with the top half of his hair off-screen.

"If failure is truly the proof of one's youth..."

A girl walks out from the hallway behind him and appears to wave at him, before running past and meeting her friend.

"Then is there not something abnormal about one who fails at making friends, if he is not still in the midst of his youth?"

At the words being said on the screen, everyone had different feelings.

"Onii-chan? I thought you had plenty of friends." Komachi said, slightly more subdued than usual. Was this how her brother truly thought? Sure, she might have lived with him for years, but this was something he should have gotten out of thinking about!

Meanwhile, the others in his row had turned to look at him with disappointed expressions. The way he was saying was recognizable to them, but it had been a while since they heard something to this degree out of his mouth.

Behind them, Hayama held a neutral expression, but he was very curious to finally see Hikigaya's way of thinking. He could now see what his true thoughts were, and how he got to this point. What happened to you?

For once, the people next to him made no words, completely captured in what was being shown. It was way beyond anything that they ever thought about.

Two other students run into the high-schooler and make him stumble. They apologize and run off, while the protagonist remains unmoving.

"But I am sure none of them would admit to this. It is all a double standard."

He picks up a paper that has fallen to the ground, revealing his whole face.

"My conclusion is this: All you fools who delight in youth…"

"Drop dead."

"Hahahahahahaha! Oh my god, Hikigaya-kun, you're hilarious!" Haruno cried out from the top row. She was hunched over in laughter. "This is so interesting!" For some reason, I shivered at her words.

The others, however, weren't amused at what occurred.

"Hikigaya-kun, care to explain this?" Yukinoshita said with a very serious expression. "I do think that you would know better than to say this garbage now." Everyone else also looked at me with concerned expressions

"Wait, wait! Let me explain!" I exclaimed, waving my arms. "That's the essay I wrote that got me forced into the Service Club! It's over a year old at this point!" I've abandoned most of those thoughts! Well, some of it still rings true, but I can't be judged for this!

Her expression lightened up. "O-Oh. My apologies…" She looked down in shame for accusing him of thinking that way, even after everything they had gone through. Heh, so cute.

Next to Hachiman, Komachi felt a sense of relief. Thank goodness. She would always love his brother, but the time when he thought cynically was… a dark time.

Hayama was surprised at the sudden statement shown on screen, not expecting it. When he heard his words from the front row however, it made sense. You used to think so… harshly of people. What got you to that point?

Tobe was shocked to hear the words coming out of the screen. But then he realized that it fit with how Hikitani acted before and during the cultural festival. "Man, Hikitani sure seems really rude here!"

Orimoto had widened her eyes. He's acting completely different than I remember. Why is that?

Before any more thoughts could be thought of, a song starts playing from the speakers, distracting them from the previous statement.

OST: Yukitoki

A classroom with tables stacked in the back is shown. On the left is a long table, with two chairs shown. Next to the window is a desk with a blue bag sitting on it.

"Oh ho ho! Is this what I think it is?" Zaimokuza said with a large grin on his face.

The camera switches to show a chair with a small book laying on top of it.

Three character's bodies and faces are shown from different angles, before it switches to a circle with flowers inside. The circle splits into five, showing different images, before they merge back together.

My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

Yuigahama was shocked at what it showed. "Me and Yukinon are in this?"

"...It appears so. But I'm still slightly unsure what this is about." Yukinoshita placed a hand on her chin in thought. "Do you have any ideas, Hikigaya-kun?"

I thought about it for a quick moment. "I'm pretty sure this is about me." I got some weird looks at that. "Oi! Look, the first scene we saw was me monologuing. One rule about anime that's almost always constant: the first person to monologue is the protagonist. "

"Correct! Hachiman here is speaking only the truth!" Zaimozuka jumped in my defense. "Let's also not forget: the style of the opening, combined with the title clearly indicates that this is a romantic comedy!"

Isshiki perked up at his statement. "Huh? So senpai's life is a romcom?" That… strangely made sense.

"Wait, wait! This might not even be the current me!" I wisely pointed out. Maybe it's an alternate version where I don't join the service club and I meet the girls through some other method? For some reason, the thought of that pisses me off.

"I-I guess we'll have to see?" Totsuka nervously smiled, which instantly calmed me. Ah~, you're as beautiful as ever!

Hikigaya Hachiman is sitting by his lonesome in a green-tinted classroom, while everyone else is talking around him.

"Huh? Why is he the only one colored?" Shiromeguri asked. Unfortunately for her, no one answered the question.

Is that how you saw the world before you met them? Hayama leaned over with his hands held together.

Orimoto, for some unknown reason, started feeling guilty at the scene shown. H-Huh, what is this?

Yukinoshita Yukino is shown grabbing items out of her locker, while everything around her is purple tinted.

"Yukino is also the only one colored here too!" Isshiki pointed out. Yeah, we can all see that. I'm interested to know why both of us had those tints...

Haruno leaned back in her chair with a neutral expression. You were the same as him, huh?

Another girl is walking up the stairs. The camera zooms out, revealing it to be Yuigahama Yui.

"At least this seems to portray Yui just fine," Miura commented. "But why did she not, like, have the same tinted look as the other two?"

Kawasaki stared at her with a slightly surprised look. She hasn't figured it out? As a loner, she figured out what the tints are supposed to mean. Oh, she never had to feel like that, huh?

Hachiman, Yukino and Yui are shown walking in random directions from different angles, before switching to a view of a guy and a girl about to run into each other.

Numerous different colored raindrops fall above Hachiman, who is alone in a patch of dirt. The camera switches to a view of Yukino with her eyes blocked by a few white flowers. It again switches, this time to a view of Yui slowly dancing around some pink flowers.

"What does this part mean?" asked Totsuka. "I-I mean… they're cute flowers, but w-why the color choice?"

I have no- actually, wait. "Pink goes with Yuigahama's hair color," I explained. "I… don't know about the white flowers though." And I have no clue what the scene means either. These double meanings are frustrating!

The angel nodded. "That makes sense!"

A raindrop quickly falls, sprouting a pink flower that gets quickly swept away by a flurry of pink and white flowers. This is followed by the camera circling around Yukino, then Yui, before landing on Hachiman.

"I don't see Hayama!" Ebina cried out. "He needs to be right there, standing next to Hikitani-kun! Why is he not there?!" She put her head in her hands, despairing over the fact that this was likely not a Hikigaya x Hayama show.

"Ebina-san? The opening isn't over yet…" Shiromeguri hesitantly said as she leaned over to their row. "And even if it was, why do you want to see them together so badly?"

She never got a reply to that question.

A quick shot of Hiratsuka is shown, before it cuts to a shot of Totsuka and Komachi looking at the camera. After this, a picture of Kawasaki, Hayama, Ebina, Miura and Tobe is shown, along with Yamato and Ooka.

"Well, I never thought I'd ever show up in an anime opening," Hiratsuka said, internally congratulating herself.

Komachi looked at the screen with shining eyes. "Onii-chan! I'm right there!" Ah, cute as always, little sister! I patted her head as onii-chan mode took over my actions.

"Yo! Look Hayato, we're on the screen!" Tobe excitedly said, pointing to the screen. "I guess we'll be showing up here soon, eh?"

"Yeah… I think we will." Hayama wasn't exactly expecting this, but it only proved his theory correct. "It is too bad that Yamato and Ooka couldn't watch this with us."

Kawasaki was surprised to see herself on the screen. She didn't think that she was important enough to show up on an opening. And I'm sitting over by myself there as well.

It switches to a video of Zaimokuza making a pose, before falling over on his back. It's followed by Hachiman taking a step back in surprise. It's revealed that he ran into Yukino, which is followed by Yui giving her a hug.

"Huh? Where am I?" Isshiki asked with a frown. "Senpai~, why am I not there?"

"Don't be a brat, Isshiki," I replied, my onii-chan mode turning on at half-power. "I didn't make this stupid anime, so how would I know?"

"Hikigaya-kun~, Why am I not there?" Haruno called out from the top, having overheard Isshiki's question. However, her tone sounded a little scarier. I'll just avoid answering it and hope for the best.

Hachiman, Yui and Yukino are shown alone on the screen for a few seconds, before it cuts to the three of them in the Service Club, talking like they normally do. It ends on a view of the blue bag from the start.

"Bravo!" Zaimokuza suddenly stood up and started rapidly clapping, getting weird looks from everyone else in the process. "A brilliant opening! I knew you could make something well constructed, Hachiman! The song was well constructed! The visuals were well animated! I approve!"

...I don't disagree with you, but the way you said that was really creepy. Also, what do you mean I made that? Do I look like an animator?

"Very good point, Zaimokuza!" Hiratsuka also stood up with a smile. "This clearly sets the tone for the future of the series!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Hiratsuka-sensei?" Komachi asked with a head tilt. She had seen much less anime than her brother, so everything was going over her head.

"You'll see! While we had a unique introduction, I predict that the next scene will be something perfectly ordinary from romantic comedies! Perhaps a scene of Hachiman sitting in a classroom while a new transfer student that is really the heroine is introduced!" Zaimokuza declares, his eyes glowing.

"..." Komachi only looked more confused. Not only that, Totsuka was looking at Zaimokuza with a worried expression. How crazy do you have to be to have him looking at you like that?!

"Just ignore him," I told my sister. "Besides, are we really nitpicking this? It's entirely possible that we're watching my own life." Do you know how bad that would be for my embarrassment?! "By extension, that might include you all."

"A-Are you sure Hikki?" Yuigahama asked, holding a nervous smile on her face. "Is this really-"

"We are still lacking some information, but trying to convince ourselves that this isn't real is just running away," I interrupted her with a serious expression. "In many cases, a god's only goal is entertainment. Otherwise, why did we specifically get taken?"

The room was silent for a moment, with everyone looking at me in bewilderment.

"...I hate to say it, but Hikigaya-kun makes a fair point." Yukinoshita was the first to break the silence. "Although, I somehow doubt your claim that a god's only goal is entertainment."

"Like you would know," Miura mumbled. However, due to the silence of the room, it was heard by everyone.

"My, do you have something you want to say, Miura-san?" Yukinoshita asked in a dangerous tone, turning to look at the blonde haired girl.

"Huuh? What do you want me to say? That's you're always right?" She glared back at her. Oi, why are you two so hostile towards each other?! I thought you two got along pretty well! Either way, I already knew that if no one stopped them, then this theatre will become a crater very soon! Thankfully, Hayama, in his never-ending glory, stepped in.

"Now now, relax girls." He stood up and waved his hands up and down. "We need to continue watching this show, don't we? Why don't we talk about this later, when we are more open-minded?" For extra measure, he put on his smile.

Miura quickly backed off, not wishing to upset Hayama. Yukinoshita didn't care for a word about what he said, but she knew arguing would not be a wise move right now, so she turned back to face the screen. With everyone's focus back, it continued to play.

"You're the one who needs to drop dead."

Several people got whiplash from the sudden change in tone from the opening. Me, however...

"Oi?!" It's starting here?! Actually, with my monologue at the beginning, that makes sense. Whoever made this part did a good job!

"Hiratsuka-sensei! That's so mean!" Komachi cried out. My teacher didn't bother to respond to that.

A view of Chiba Municipal Soubu High School is shown. The sign for the school is shown on the bottom left. The camera switches to Hiratsuka holding Hachiman's essay in front of him.

"Hikigaya, what was the topic I assigned to you in class?"

He nervously looked off to the side, but pushed forward.

"Well… It was an essay about looking back on our high school days."

"Hahahahaha!" Once again, Haruno burst into laughter. "You- pfft- call that looking back to your high school days?!"

Yukinoshita wasn't much better. "That was just creepy and gross, Hikigerma-kun." Ouch. It's a good thing I've defended myself against your insults!

I didn't notice it at the time, but Totsuka was shocked at my words. His illusion of me had begun breaking during my monologue, but it had shattered here. H-Hachiman… you're scary…

In the back row, Orimoto flinched. She was surprised to hear how cynical he thought about high school in general. Once again, she had to ask herself how he became this way.

"And how did that lead you to write such a smart-ass essay?" She placed the essay on the table. "What is this? How did it result in this?"

"Well…"

"Honestly… You have eyes like a dead fish."

"What does that have to do with the essay?" Miura asked Hiratsuka in confusion. She remembered writing that essay. It was one of the easiest assignments she got to do. The fact Hikio got in trouble for his writing is… admittedly kind of funny.

"Heh, I can't speak for past me, but I think I needed to point that out." Seriously? You're a real demon woman, you know?

"Do I look that rich in omega-3s?" He gave a smirk. "Makes me sound smart."

"Omega.. 3s?" Yuigahama asked, confused at the word.

Yukinoshita, the genius she is, had an answer. "Omega-3s are nutrients that assist you in building and maintaining a healthy body. Of course, Hikigaya-kun is using the term sarcastically, as his eyes would give anyone the wrong idea about him."

"Oi!" Don't be so rude to my eyes! Apologize to them!

A dark expression took over Hiratsuka's face as she gave a glare to Hachiman. "Be serious."

"Uh, but I am looking back on my high school days, like you said. Isn't that how most high school kids think these days?"

I felt several people glancing at me from behind, but I flawlessly ignored them. Well, except for one.

"U-Um… Hachiman? I don't think that way…" Totsuka nervously stated.

"...Y-Yeah, I know that n-now." What's with my stuttering?!

"Quit spitting hairs, brat."

"Brat? Well, from the perspective of someone your age, I guess I am-"

As he was speaking, Hiratsuka abruptly stood up and threw a punch that zoomed past Hachiman's head. A dark purple aura appears around her as she begins speaking.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you that you never talk about a woman's age?"

"Onii-chan!" My sister looked at me with disappointment. "I've told you about this before! You're lucky that Yuki-nee sees you for who you truly are. Ah, that must have been worth a ton of points!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." I was more concerned about the teacher sitting behind us, who was looking kind of scary.

"Whoa, I have some really cool effects there," Hiratsuka commented with a devilish grin. "I wish I could have that in real life. It would make my teaching much more effective." Actually, I think it would make it even scarier than it already is!

She pulled her fist away from the high-schooler, making him let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I'll rewrite it."

Instead of nodding in affirmative, his teacher had a different idea in mind. "Come with me," she said with a smile.

Yukinoshita's eyes widened when she remembered what Hachiman said not too long ago. "Hiratsuka-sensei, is this when you got the idea to bring Hikigaya-kun to the service club?"

"Yup." She nodded. While I don't regret joining it, it was still really annoying at the time. "Do you think it was a bad idea?"

"It was… u-um, a good i-idea, actually…" For some reason, Yukinoshita's face turned very red. S-She looks so cute like that! That was a critical hit!

Some of the other people in the theatre were internally glad that they weren't forced into being a club just for writing a bad essay. Some wished that they could have met a cute girl that easily. And some didn't care either way.

The camera cuts to Hiratsuka opening a door, with Hachiman right behind. It shows various parts of the room, such as the curtain blowing in the wind and a bunch of stacked desks.

A glimpse of a girl's hair is shown, before the camera zooms out to reveal Yukinoshita, sitting in a chair by herself. She appears to be reading a book. The camera cuts back and forth between her and Hachiman, before she finally looks up.

"Hiratsuka-sensei. I believed I asked you to knock before entering."

"You never respond, even when I do knock."

"You always come in before I have a chance to respond." She looks towards the teacher and notices Hachiman. "And? Who's the space case?"

"You're already insulting senpai?" Isshiki asked curiously.

"She insults everyone she meets," I explained, having recovered from the attack. It's the truth! You can't deny it!

...Huh? She's not denying it? Curious, I looked over to Yukinoshita and saw that her eyes were widened. Has she not recovered from her blushing?

"I-I remember this," she mumbled.

Hachiman makes a half-angry expression at the insult. "I know this girl. International liberal arts, class J." The camera switches to a view of the classroom. "The class is 90% girls, they score higher than average, and it is known as quite a colorful class."

The screen shows a new girl walking into the room. "And the one with the most conspicuous color of the lot is… Yukinoshita Yukino. Everyone in the school knows her."

"Is that so?" Haruno mused, talking to herself. Her seatmate, however, thought she was asking a question.

"Yeah!" Shiromeguri raised an arm in the air. "After all, she's your sister! Plus, the Yukinoshitas are a famous family!"

"She's also a cutie!" Tobe chimed in, overhearing her. "It makes sense why everyone knows her!"

Huh, so you already knew her? Hayama wasn't very surprised to hear that. Ebina, on the other hand...

"Hayama! You should have started your own club and then Hikitani-kun would have joined it! Then a beautiful relationship could have started!" A line of blood ran down her nose, but it didn't get far before she was slapped in the face.

"Quit saying dirty things like that!" Kawasaki shouted. She just wanted to watch what happened! And… maybe see what he meant by that.

Hachiman has a serious expression when Hiratsuka cuts in. "He's looking to join your club."

Komachi tilted her head in confusion. "He was?"

"Oi, did you forget what I said earlier?" Geez, my sister can act airheaded a lot. "I was forced into it."

"Oh yeah! Onii-chan wouldn't have ever joined a club willingly!" ...True.

He puts a hand on his head. "Uh, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman from class 2-F. Er… What do you mean, I'm looking to join?"

Hiratsuka glances back at her student. "I'm ordering you to join this club as punishment for your smart-ass essay. No objections, arguments, protests, questions, or backtalk."

"H-Hiratsuka-sensei can be scary…" Totsuka whimpered.

She turns back to Yukinoshita. "So, as I'm sure you can see, his spirit is as rotten as the look in his eyes. Which makes him a perpetually lonely, pathetic soul. In this club, you will rectify his contrary, solitary nature. That's my request."

"And I'd say you did a great job, Yukinoshita!" Hiratsuka gave a thumbs up. "Look at him now!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I mumbled out. I can't really deny that statement though.

Orimoto let a small smirk show on her face. Heh, his teacher's pretty funny.

"I decline." Yukinoshita covers her chest, as if she was protecting her modesty. "Looking at the ulterior motives behind his lewd eyes makes me fear for my life."

"You, like, don't have anything to cover." Miura apparently was still in a sour mood.

"My my~, someone's not happy," Haruno teasingly said. "Even if it's true, don't be too mean to Yukino-chan!"

Yukinoshita stared at her sister with a betrayed look, while Miura looked smug.

"I am not looking at those modest breasts of hers." Hachiman makes frustrated movements in the background. "Seriously, I'm not."

The betrayed look moved to Hachiman."Y-You..!" How could he?!

"Don't look at me with those scary eyes!" I cowered in fear. "You can't blame me for this!" It's not my fault that your chest is like this! Er- shut up brain!

"Even your boyfriend agrees!" Oi, quit making the situation worse, Miura! Things are going to get out of control at this point! Someone needs to stop this!

As if they heard my thoughts, the blue haired girl stood up. "Shut up!" she shouted. "Stop arguing like a bunch of petty teenagers and watch the stupid show!"

That caused the theatre to fall silent, with everyone looking at Kawasaki in shock. "U-Um, t-thanks!" She sat back down, looking terribly embarrassed. Wow, that wasn't what I expected. You did good, Kawasomething-san!

Thankfully, no one bothered to bring it up again, so everyone's attention was back on the screen.

"Don't worry." Hiratsuka speaks up again. "He has a good grasp on risk and return and self-preservation. He wouldn't do anything worthy of criminal punishment. You can trust his petty thug nature."

"Uh, I'd rather you just say that I can make rational decisions…"

"Mhm! That's why I wanted to see him on the student council!" Shiromeguri commented. "Maybe not as president though…"

Eh? Since when did you want me on the student council? And what's wrong with me being president? Not that I'd take the job anyways.

Hikigaya on the student council…? Orimoto thought about it for a moment, before giggling softly. Haha, I can't really imagine it. Then again, he did a pretty good job with Tanamawa.

The camera moves to Yukinoshita again. "Petty thug? Of course."

"She's not even listening and she's convinced?"

"You did seem like a thug at the time, Hikki," Yuigahama commented, a finger on her chin. That hurts! "But I knew you weren't!" Thanks for the vote of confidence…

"Heh, a thug as the protagonist in a romcom?" Zaimokuza used his finger to shift his glasses upwards. "Preposterous! While I would not be against the idea, the idea would not appeal to the masses!" That's a lot of unnecessary words. Just say that I'm not a thug!

"Well, if it's your request, I can't very well refuse." She turns to Hiratsuka. "I understand."

Hiratsuka seems a bit surprised, before she gives a small smile. "Good." She turns around and begins walking out of the room. "Okay, take care of him, Yukinoshita."

Once she leaves, the two are left alone in the room. The camera switches between various random shots of the two and the clubroom. This is before it suddenly cuts to a close up of Hachiman.

"Come on, are you serious? What just happened?"

"Hikitani-kun is all alone with Yukinoshita-san!" Tobe cried out. "I bet he did something terrible to her!" That earned him a glare from Yukinoshita, but he didn't seem to notice it.

"Now now, don't be so harsh Tobe," Hayama cut in with his normal smile. "Hikitani-kun wouldn't do something so terrible. I trust him." Ah, at least Hayama doesn't irrationally think I'm the type to harass someone.

The camera abruptly switches to a film-reel, showing a scene of a curtain blowing.

"A bittersweet memory suddenly came back to me."

"Oh? Now what's this?" Haruno leaned forward in interest. Hayama did the same, curious to see what his past was like.

Komachi's eyes widened. She didn't think that she would get to see her brother's middle school memories. The same went for the people around her, not expecting this.

Orimoto froze up. Is it going to show the time he confessed to me?

And most importantly: "Why is the screen showing this?!" No! Not my embarrassing memories! This is a loner's worst nightmare! I tried to will the screen to stop right then and there, but it didn't work.

It reveals a classroom in the afternoon, in which Hachiman and another random girl are standing. He bows to the girl, having just confessed to her. She makes an uncomfortable expression.

"Can't we just stay friends?"

Orimoto let out a sigh of relief. She forgot that Hikigaya had confessed to multiple people in middle school. She wasn't ready to see herself on the screen yet.

Yukinoshita felt a surge of jealousy from seeing him confessing to someone. But she ignored it, as this was the past. Instead, she continued to watch with a neutral expression.

Meanwhile, I was despairing. My hands were on my head and my body was hunched over. What else will this screen show?!

The area around Hachiman goes black, before returning to the present.

"We never even spoke again after that, let alone stayed friends."

"That wasn't very interesting…" Haruno mused. Hikigaya-kun used to be really boring, huh?

Hayama, however, was a little surprised. You used to confess like that? I didn't think you were that type of person...

Komachi's fists tightened. Onii-chan...

A spotlight appeared above him, shining on Hachiman, while Yukinoshita was glowing in a white aura.

"Well, romantic comedies don't actually happen in my life."

"Incorrect!" Zaimokuza once again spoke up. "As we can see, you're the protagonist of one!" Shut up.

A closeup of Yukinoshita is shown.

"Someone as rigorously trained as me would never get caught in a rom-com trap like this." The camera starts flickering between Yukinoshita and Hachiman. "Girls only take interest in attractive guys and indulge in impure relationships."

"In other words, they're my enemies."

"D-Do you still think that?" Yuigahama asked, looking at me nervously.

"...No. After all, my existence is proof of that being false." It took me a while to figure it out, but now I know: I'm not the only one who wants something genuine.

Even though Isshiki didn't know Hachiman at the time, it felt like she was being attacked by the statement. Not anymore! I don't have any interest in Hayama!

"That's why yaoi boys are better!" Ebina cried out. Ah, I really should ignore her.

A quick glimpse of the flashback is shown again, before once again returning to the present. "Being hated is the fastest way to avoid feeling like that again. I decided to intimidate Yukinoshita in lieu of pleasantries."

Hachiman attempts to give an evil glare to Yukinoshita, but he falters when she looks back at him.

"Quit standing there and sit down."

"Ha!" Hiratsuka laughed. "You really have a weakness for her, huh?" Oi! That sounds embarrassing!

"Huh? Uh, right. Sorry." He goes to grab a chair and places it a good distance away from Yukinoshita. He feels around the chair and looks uncomfortable for a few moments, before his new clubmate speaks up.

"Problem?"

"Uh, it's just… There's a lot I don't get here." He rubs his head. "What club is this, anyway?"

"Oh yeah! Hiratsuka-sensei never told H-Hachiman, huh?" Totsuka realized. He had sort of zoned out for a bit, as he was still reeling from the realization of how cynical Hachiman was.

"Try to guess."

Hachiman thinks for a moment. "Literary club?"

"Not a bad guess, Hachiman!" Zaimokuza said. "However, you should know that those kinds of clubs tend to be actually popular!"

"Since when?" No, seriously. I can't remember anything about the one at Sobu, if it even had one.

Hiratsuka disagreed with Zaimokuza's statement. "That's not really true for a lot of schools. At my high school, the literary club only had five people at its peak. As much as I wish it wasn't the case, they aren't very popular."

A depressive aura surrounded Zaimokuza. "O-Oh…"

"Honestly, I would have believed you if you told me that was a literary club," Isshiki commented with a foxy grin. "I can see senpai being in it."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"Whoooo knows~" Sigh. Isshiki is always a pain to deal with, even though she has matured since I first met her. Though, I can't stay mad at her.

A literary club sounds pretty interesting. Maybe I should check again if Sobu has one… Ebina actually did consider joining one a while back, but she stopped for some reason.

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

He smirks and crosses his arms. "This room has no particular backdrop and no special equipment. Plus, you've been reading a book this whole time."

Kawasaki was impressed. That's some pretty good reasoning, considering he had no information.

"Not a bad guess, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita softly smiled.

"Wrong."

"Then what club is it?"

"What I'm doing here right now is this club's activity."

"Sitting down?" Shiromeguri guessed, looking confused. "Wait, this is the service club! So she's doing Hiratsuka-sensei's request!" I'm surprised you figured that out so quickly.

"Ah! That makes sense!" Tobe overheard her words.

"I give up. I have no clue."

Yukinoshita closes her book. "Hikigaya-kun, how long has it been since you spoke with a girl?"

Hachiman gives a startled look, before the scene switches to a film reel of a middle school. "I believe it was two years ago, in June."

"Wait! Nonononono!" Not again! Why is it showing everything?!

"My, I didn't mean for you to take that seriously," Yukinoshita teased with a smug grin.

"Onii-chan! What about me?" Komachi couldn't believe that his brother forgot her. Of course, she was just teasing him.

Orimoto, however, was surprised. She swore that the confession was closer to the end of the year. That's odd. I guess maybe he's not counting that?

"Pretty hot, isn't it?"

"More like humid."

"Huh? Y-Yeah…"

The scene cuts to Hachiman screaming in his bed, thanks to his embarrassment.

"AHHHHHHHH!" My arms were covering my head in despair. I can't handle this! Please, kill me now!

Nearly everyone around him was blatantly laughing. Most of them were because of the bed scene, not his response.

Hayama let out a chuckle. You really weren't very good at this, were you?

Kawasaki let out a smirk. So he was just as socially incompentent as I was.

Zaimokuza, however, fully understood Hachiman's feelings. "Do not worry! I too have said some things that I… do regret saying."

After, it returns to the present.

"Those who have give to those who do not have with a compassionate heart." Yukinoshita is shown walking towards Hachiman. "People call it volunteer work. We extend a helping hand to those in need. That is what this club does."

The camera scrolls up to slowly show Yukinoshita's whole body. "This is the Service Club. I welcome you. As I have been asked, I will fulfill my responsibility. I will rectify your problem." It cuts to Hachiman. "Show some gratitude."

"U-Um… you were insulting him though…" Totsuka nervously pointed out.

"Who would show gratitude to anyone for something like that?" Miura wouldn't have ever befriended someone who treated her like that.

Yukinoshita considered responding, but decided against it. There was no point, plus she wasn't exactly insulting her. It's not worth the energy.

"This bitch…" His fists clench. "My problem? I'm pretty damn efficient in my own way."

He stands up from his chair. "I was third in my grade on the Japanese ability test. And I'm pretty good looking. Ignoring the fact that I have no friends or girlfriend, I'm basically high-end!"

"Hahahaha! Hilarious!" Haruno laughed again. He's not nervous at all! So interesting!

Yukinoshita let out a small smile at the memory. "I suppose he wasn't wrong…" she mumbled to herself.

"Onii-chan! Don't boast about yourself!" Komachi, on the other hand, was playfully hitting her brother. It caused me to snap out of my depressive state.

"Heh, It's still true." I remember when I declared that. I'm still that high in Japanese, and that's without studying too! If I actually studied, I probably could demolish Hayama and Yukinoshita!

Shiromeguri was surprised to hear his ranking. "Hikigaya was third in Japanese?" I didn't know he did that good in school!

"In a way, it's impressive that you can say all that so confidently. You're weird. I'm already creeped out."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear that from you, you weirdo!"

"You guys started insulting each other pretty early on, huh?" Isshiki observed. I guess senpai really doesn't act superficial at all.

Hayama looked at the screen with surprise. You two were already acting like this so soon after you met? He clenched his fists. If only…

Haha! Imagine if Hikigaya acted like that in middle school. Orimoto would have laughed a lot seeing him talking like that with someone.

The camera switches to a close up of Yukinoshita with a smirk. "Based on my observation, it appears your loneliness is a result of your stupid pride and contrary sensitivity."

The scene switches to show Hiratsuka standing just outside of the clubroom. "As for your appearance, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In other words, as of right now, only what I say is correct."

Eh? Hiratsuka listened to the whole thing?

"Your opinions are ridiculous, but I have a feeling you're making sense."

Yukinoshita waves her hair briefly. "Now, that completes this conversation simulation."

"What?!"

"Huh? What does that mean?" Totsuka tilted his head in confusion.

Angel wings sprout from her back as she speaks. "If you can converse with a girl like me, I believe you can talk with most anyone else." She smiles. "Have I rectified you a bit now?"

"A-Ah…" He was slightly terrified now.

"Oh? I was an angel in your eyes?" Yukinoshita teased with a hand on her chin. "I never would have thought you fell for me so quickly."

"Quit fueling your ego." I think I was seeing you as an evil angel. As opposed to Totsuka, who is the purest angel out there!

"Just so you know, it's not like that I can't talk to people." Hachiman jabs a finger at himself. "I just don't do pointless chats. I don't need any rectifying."

"I believe you're at a level that will make living in society difficult for you."

Before anyone could say anything further, however, Hiratsuka walks back into the clubroom. "Yukinoshita, I'm coming in."

"Good timing! Those two were totally going to destroy each other!" Shut up Tobe.

"Hehe, Yukinon and Hikki have always been like this." Yuigahama explained to the brown-haired guy. "Don't worry, it would have been fine in the end!" Thanks for explaining it to the guy. Because I wouldn't have.

"I said knock…"

"Yeah, sorry. Sounds like you're having trouble rectifying Hikigaya."

Yukinoshita closes her eyes and points a hand at Hachiman. "It's because he isn't aware that he has a problem."

"No it's not." The camera switches to Hachiman. "What the hell is with everyone telling me to change? I don't want other people telling me who I am."

"That's not how it works!" Komachi cried out. Her tone made me instinctively place a hand on her head.

"Trust me, I know that now." While the younger me makes a few good points, he failed to recognize that some change can be good. Listening to others can be good, as long as you filter out the garbage suggestions.

"Change, huh?" A few of the others considered his statement. Were there not times when they felt like someone was telling them to be something? That said, most of them dismissed it, as Hachiman tended to spew out a lot of weird things.

"That's just your way of running, isn't it?"

"Changing is a way of running from the situation, too, isn't it? Why can't you just accept someone for who they are and what's in their past?"

Yukinoshita shook her head. "It's not that simple."

I sighed. "I know that. This scene is a year old at this point, so plenty of these statements don't apply anymore." What's with everyone constantly scolding me for my year-old actions?

Isshiki decided to chime in. "But senpai! How do we know you aren't like that anymore?"

Wow, not confident in me, eh? "Look, Isshiki. We've interacted with each other plenty of times recently. You should know that." It's almost as if you never paid attention, you knoooow? For some reason, she looked away with a tiny blush that I only barely noticed. Now what's that about?

Yukinoshita's fists are shown clenching. "That won't… That won't solve anyone's concerns, nor will it save anyone."

For some reason, Hayama felt a pain of guilt from that. It didn't seem like she was talking about him, but the tone…

Haruno seemed slightly surprised at her sister's strong response. She was curious why that seemed to be such a big deal to her.

Hachiman is visibly taken back from the statement, but before anything could go any further, Hiratsuka jumps in.

"Relax, you guys." She gives a light cough before continuing. "It's a time-honored custom of shounen manga to settle conflicting senses of justice with a showdown."

"Hmm, interesting. Perhaps this anime has shounen as a genre!" Zaimokuza declared with a finger pointed to the ceiling. "It is not very often to see one that has romance and comedy as its main genre, however. Especially since-"

"Quit your rambling," Yukinoshita interrupted, glaring at him. "It's as if I'm listening to a broken record with your irrelevant analysis. Spewing the same things over and over again."

...Wow, that's… I'm going to be honest, that insult was kind of weak. Still, for a lower level being like Zaimokuza, it would still be deadly. He sank back into his chair, looking broken.

"T-That's kind of mean, Yukinoshita," Totsuka, being the angel he is, scolded her for the insult. He turned to Zaimokuza with the prettiest smile on the planet. "Don't worry Yoshiteru! I enjoyed your analysis!"

It was as if he was a lightbulb and Totsuka was the switch to turn it back on. He stood back up with a grin. "Thank you! I shall remain impervious to the spears of the ice queen!" That sounded kind of cool- wait no! That's not cool! What were you thinking, brain?!

Yukinoshita sighed and pinched her nose. "Ugh, when will he learn…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, let's have a showdown to see who in this club can do the most service!" As she says that, she points a finger at the two students in conflict.

"Hmm, so it's not true shounen…" I heard Zaimokuza mutter. Did you actually think that my life would have fights?

"How does that get measured?" Miura asked. "Doesn't the club, like, take on requests as a whole, rather than just one person?"

Yuigahama opened her mouth, but I spoke before she could. "You'll see later on." I'm not going to waste my time explaining that.

"You're way too pushy…"

"The winner can order the loser to do anything. How's that?"

A bunch of thought bubbles appear behind Hachiman as he lightly blushes. "When you say 'anything,' you mean 'anything,' right? Gulp."

"Pervert!" Isshiki, Komachi and Yuigahama all shouted at me. What the hell?! This is unfair!

"Oi! I think I was more concerned about what she would do!" I said, pointing to Yukinoshita. If things had turned out different, I fear for what could have happened! "Tell me, what would you all have done?"

That caused everyone to think seriously. If they got sucked into that kind of deal against Hachiman, what would they have done?

Some people had some mundane ones, like Totsuka thinking about just asking him to play tennis. Or Zaimokuza wanting to play this one game he bought with someone. Some were a little more convoluted, like Miura wanting help to get closer to Hayama or Tobe wanting to get closer to Ebina.

Then there were those who probably would have asked him to go on a date, despite him having a "partner". Yuigahama and Isshiki blushed at the thought. Kawasaki nearly thought the same, but her brain switched to something else, like taking care of Keika.

Most of the others couldn't think of anything on the spot, so they simply switched their attention back to the screen.

...And then there was Haruno and Ebina.

"Hehehehehehe." Ebina's eyes gleamed at her imagination. It would be best to ignore her thoughts.

"Oh my~." Haruno… let's also avoid that.

"I decline." Yukinoshita once again wraps her arms around her chest. "Competing against him makes me fear for my life."

"That's prejudice! Second-year high school guys don't think about obscene stuff all the time!"

"There's also… world peace? Actually, I don't think about much else."

Yuigahama and Isshiki were still blushing and stuck in their daydreams, so it was up to Komachi to scold him.

"Bad Onii-chan! Don't be thinking about bad things!" She playfully hit his arm. Hey, don't be too mean. But since you're Komachi, I'll forgive you!

"Hehehehehe." Uh oh. What's Ebina thinking now? I turned around to look at her, only to see her looking at me creepily. "You probably think about doing it with Hayama, don't you?!"

"Nope." I turned away from her. She's starting to get annoying with the yaoi stuff. Think of something else for once!

Hiratsuka cuts in again. "I guess Yukino Yukinoshita has fears. Are you that afraid that you will lose?"

"Fine. I am a bit vexed to see myself falling for such cheap provocation, but I accept."

"Then that's that."

The camera shows Hachiman with his eyebrow ticking. "And what about how I feel?" It switches to a view of Yukinoshita's book, before the screen fades out.

"That must be the halfway point of the episode!" Zaimokuza pointed out, noticing the little logo in the corner.

"So that's how Hikki joined the service club?" Yuigahama, having snapped out of her daydreams, rejoined the conversation. "That wasn't what I expected!"

"What would you have expected, Yuigahama-san?" Good question. I wouldn't have joined a club of my own will back then. Er… maybe the tennis club.

"Umm, I guess I always thought that Hikki was bored and wanted to join…" Wow, you seriously underestimated how much I dislike talking to people. Even now, I don't particularly enjoy it.

"Hah! Hikigaya joining a club of his own will? I can't see it!" Oi, what the hell Hiratsuka-sensei? It's true, but you don't say that out loud!

"That's what I said earlier!" You too Komachi?!

"Umm, I remember asking Hachiman to join the tennis club… h-he said he would if he wasn't already in the service club." If only! I could have experienced Totsuka everyday! But then I wouldn't have been able to know Yukinoshita better...

In the back rows, the others were talking. "That was, like, not that interesting." Miura gave her opinion on the first half of the viewing. "I, like, don't really care what Hikio does."

"Now, don't be too hasty," Hayama spoke up. "Maybe we'll see something more interesting as we keep going?" He personally found the viewing interesting. Seeing his initial reactions to meeting Yukino was not what I expected. And seeing his past was quite startling. I wouldn't have thought he was that different back then.

Over the course of the episode, Orimoto noticed that, compared to when she saw him on that double date with Hayama, Hikigaya was a little more secluded. I guess those girls really did help him out.

Haruno leaned back and crossed her legs. "That was entertaining" was all she said. Next to her, Shiromeguri reflected on what was shown. Those were some nasty thoughts. I didn't think he thought like that!

Kawasaki somewhat sympathized with the old version of Hikigaya. While she never had thoughts that were that cynical, she sort of understood what he was thinking about.

Ignoring that Ebina was upset about the lack of yaoi content, she was interested in how Hikitani-kun used to think. She never really knew him that well, so getting the opportunity to see his thoughts somewhat excited her.

"Hikitani-kun used to act all edgy, huh?" That was all Tobe got from the viewing.

Everyone's conversations gradually calmed down, so we were all facing the screen when it started back up.

The screen returns with a view of the school outside, before switching to Hachiman standing in front of the clubroom again. He opens the door and sees Yukinoshita reading a book like the day before. He sits down, before the girl greets him.

"Hello." She flips to another page. "I didn't think you would come back. Are you a masochist?"

"Yuki-nee! Why was that your first thought?" Komachi pouted at the black haired girl.

"...I think the past me will explain." If I'm remembering correctly… it's after this.

"No."

"A stalker, then?"

"Why are you assuming that I have some sort of feelings for you?"

"You don't?"

"Heh, Hikigaya-kun wouldn't have fallen that easily," Haruno mumbled. If he fell for someone at first sight, then she wouldn't have ever bothered with him.

"No! Even I'm put off by your overconfidence." Hachiman takes off his backpack and places it on the floor. "Do you have any friends?"

"Well, first, explain to me where the definition of 'friend' begins and ends-"

"That's something Onii-chan would say!" Komachi never thought that Yuki-nee would have ever said that!

Yuigahama somewhat figured that she didn't have any friends before the service club, but it was still surprising to hear. "You really had no friends, Yukinon?"

"Y-Yeah. But that's not true anymore." She softly smiled as she looked at the pink haired girl. Wow, that was pretty corny.

"Say no more. That's something someone with no friends would say. Source: me. You seem like someone people would like, so how can you have no friends?"

...Damn it. Hayama knew why, yet he didn't do anything about it. The others were generally clueless, however.

"Yeah! I thought she would totally be the popular one!" Tobe piped up.

Yukinoshita is silent for a few seconds, before she speaks up. "You wouldn't understand." She stands up. "Since I've always been pretty, all guys who have gotten close to me have done so with other intentions. You call yourself lonely even though people like you. You're a disgrace to lonely people everywhere."

"Eh? Aside from Komachi, Hiratsuka and maybe Zaimokuza, no one even talked to me before the service club." No clue why I didn't say anything at the time, but I was a true loner! And even if I now have people I could possibly call friends, I'm still a loner at heart.

"..." Yuigahama wanted to say something, but she decided against it. No point in it now.

Haruno sighed. She was also immensely popular, yet she never had to deal with those problems in high school. It was likely because of the personality differences between her and Yukino.

"I know how you feel, Yukino!" Isshiki exclaimed, leaning over so she could see the black haired girl. "Lots of boys approached me because they thought I was pretty. But that made it difficult for me to get any friends..." Her tone made me tempted to place a hand on her head, but then I realized that I'd have to get up and do it. Sorry kouhai, no headpat for you!

She looks out the window with her book in hand. "If everyone had liked me, perhaps that would have been fine."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

Yukinoshita turns to face Hachiman. "In grade school, my indoor shoes were hidden from me about sixty times. Fifty of those times were the work of girls. Thanks to that, I had to take my indoor shoes and my recorder home every day."

Hayama widened his eyes. He knew that it happened every once in a while, but not that much. It was that bad?

"Were people, like, extremely jealous of you? I don't think I had to deal with it that much." Miura actually felt a little bad for Yukinoshita.

"...Unfortunately, yes."

Kawasaki wasn't expecting it to be that bad. So even popular people have it hard?

"Sounds like a rough time."

"Yes, it is rough." She lets out a small smile. "Because I'm pretty. But it can't be helped. People aren't all perfect." The scene looks outside of the window. "They're weak, ugly, and they get jealous and try to bring others down. Oddly enough, the better you are, the harder it is to live."

The camera returns to Yukinoshita. "Don't you think that's wrong?" She looks outside the window as the scene shrinks. "That's why I'm going to change this world, and the people in it."

Zaimokuza shivered at that statement. "T-That's something a v-villain would say!" Honestly? I agree.

"Oh? Mind if you repeat that?" Yukinoshita glared at the chuunibyou. It's been great knowing you, brother-in-arms. I salute you for your work!

"Now now, he has a point." Hiratsuka-sensei? Are you sure you want to get into this fight?

Hachiman speaks up while facing her. "The direction you're putting your effort in is insane."

"I think it beats your direction toward drying up and fading to nothing. I hate the way you accept your weakness as a positive."

"I mean, it could be worse." I could hate myself for even existing. I know some people have that issue, so I'm glad I'm fine with who I am.

That got me some frowns thrown my way, but I ignored them as usual. If they have problems with it, that's on them. Talk to me if you really want to, but it'll likely be fruitless!

"Yukinoshita carries the pain of someone who has. It shouldn't be too hard to hide that and go through life deceiving everyone. That's what people do in this world. But Yukinoshita doesn't do that. She would never lie to herself."

"...Is that what you thought?" Yukinoshita turned to me with a curious expression.

"At the time? Yeah." Now I know it's not entirely true. I didn't realize it, but I had placed her on a pedestal.

Haruno silently giggled. Monster of logic, eh?

The scene briefly changes to show Yukinoshita reading, with the camera scrolling towards Hachiman. "I'm sure she and I are alike in some way. I couldn't help thinking that, in spite of myself. Even the silence in that moment felt comfortable. I felt my heart was saying it wanted to beat faster than the second hand and beyond."

His hands clenched into fists. "Then… Then she and I…"

"Hey, Yukinoshita… If you want, I'll be your frie-"

"Sorry, I can't do that."

"Eh?" Multiple people expressed surprise and confusion at her answer. Who would deny a chance to be friends with someone? Especially someone who apparently had none?

"What? I wasn't even finished."

Before any more words could be said, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The door opens, revealing a pink haired girl nervously walking in. "E-Excuse me."

The previous statement was forgotten by everyone as they focused on the new arrival.

"It's me?" Yuigahama didn't know that she met the two so soon after they met.

Miura sat up in interest. "So this is how Yui met them?" Why did she go to them? Why did she not ask us?

Isshiki was surprised to see that Hachiman met them so close together. She thought there was a bigger gap between their meetings. If only I met him sooner!

Hachiman's expression of irritation against Yukinoshita turned to a neutral one once he saw the new person walking in.

"Hiratsuka-sensei sent me here…" She then notices Hachiman and takes a startled step back. "Wh-What is Hikki doing here?!"

"You knew Hikigaya already?" Kawasaki asked, surprised.

"U-Um, yeah!" She didn't elaborate any further. You realize you could just say you recognized me from class, right? Although, at the rate that this screen is going, everyone will learn about the real reason.

Haruno leaned back, amused. Looks like everyone's going to learn about that accident.

Hayama, on the other hand, was surprised at the use of the nickname. They didn't talk during class at all before this point, I'm pretty sure. Maybe they met each other somewhere else?

"Uh, I'm a member of this club." "Wait, is 'Hikki' supposed to be me? Also, who is she?"

...Never mind? Hayama was confused now.

"I've always wondered why Yuigahama-san picked that name specifically… there are plenty of more fitting ones." Yukinoshita smugly grinned. Sigh, your nicknames have caused too much brain damage for me. The day Yuigahama calls me "Fishigaya-kun" is the day that I die!

Totsuka was more concerned about the latter half of the statement. "Y-You didn't know who Yui was?"

"E-Er, I never paid attention to who was in my class." Which was a huge crime! How could I ignore Totsuka?!

"So wait, did you not know anyone while I was teaching?" Hiratsuka was slightly surprised. She honestly thought Hikigaya would have been the type of person to know everyone's name, just in case there were group projects.

I sighed. "I only knew a few names." Why is everyone so curious about this?

"That must have included Hayama!" Now what the hell are you on about, Ebina? Oh wait, it's your stupid yaoi fantasies. Please stop putting me in them. It's actually pretty creepy.

Yukinoshita sets up a chair next to hers. "You're Yuigahama Yui-san of class 2-F, right? Well, have a seat."

Yuigahama smiles as she takes the seat. "You know who I am?"

"I bet you've memorized the name of every student," Hachiman cuts in.

"No, I didn't know who you were."

"I see."

The camera shows Yuigahama looking back and forth between the two as they talk. "You don't have to feel bad. I can only blame the weakness of my heart for wanting to avert my eyes from your existence."

"That's pretty harsh…"

"Damn! If I got insulted like that, I don't know what'd I do!"

"Are you actually a masochist?"

Totsuka, Tobe and Isshiki all said at once. You guys are all just lower level beings! And I'm not a masochist! Banish those thoughts immediately!

"Heh, Hikigaya is still pretty funny…" Orimoto mumbled out, not as enthusiastic as usual. She was feeling severely left out of the atmosphere of the theatre, but what could she do about it?

"These two get along well!" Shiromeguri giggled. If they could insult each other and still stay together, then they must have a great deal of trust!

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Just being sarcastic."

"This club… looks like a lot of fun!" Yuigahama shouts out with stars glowing behind her.

"How does t-that look fun?" Zaimokuza trembled, remembering how Yukinoshita had utterly destroyed his writing. While it may have been necessary criticism, it still sometimes gave him nightmares.

"Some people are just into that kind of thing," Hiratsuka said, smirking. Are you implying that Yuigahama is a masochist?

"And, Hikki, you're sure talking a lot."

"Huh?"

"Uh, no, I just meant… You're totally different from the way you are in class." Yuigahama starts picking at her hair. "I mean, you usually act sort of weird, and it creeps me out."

"Looks like some-one~ has been paying attention to Onii-chan!" Komachi teased, resulting in the pink haired girl's face turning bright red. Instead of denying it though, she remained silent.

Yukinoshita frowned, but didn't say anything. She had known she had feelings for Hikigaya-kun for a while, yet she never really did anything about it until recently. Which had ended up working well for the black haired girl in the end.

So I was right; they really didn't talk before. Which made Hayama wonder why she already gave a nickname to Hikigaya.

Hachiman looks away from her. "Little bitch."

"Whoa!"

"Hikigaya!"

"Did I hear that right?"

"H-Hachiman! D-Don't say that!"

"My my~"

Several people had cried out at the insult on the screen, although I couldn't tell who was who. What's the big deal? Plenty of people call each other bitches all the time and no one bats an eye. Hell, I've heard worse!

"What?! Who're you calling a bitch?! I'm still a vir-" She realizes what she was about to say and furiously shakes her head. "Never mind!"

"Senpai really had you there," Isshiki said to Yuigahama with her foxy grin.

"I-It's not my fault Hikki does these things!" She glared at me, but I merely smirked back. Even to this day, she tends to say some weird things when insulted.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Yukinoshita cuts in. "To still be a vir-"

Yuigahama cries out and waves her arms in embarrassment. "What are you saying?! It's embarrassing to still be one as a second year! Don't you think you're lacking a little in femininity, Yukinoshita-san?!"

"Eh?" Several people expressed surprise at the statement.

"D-Do girls at Sobu really d-do it that early?" Totsuka, no! Stay innocent! How do you know what she meant anyways?!

"I-If it means anything, I-I haven't done it b-before!" Kawasaki squeaked out with furiously red cheeks. Please, you're embarrassing me just by looking at you! And how are you bold enough to say that out loud?! Aren't you a loner like me?!

At least Kawasomething's comment had seemed to fix Totsuka's concern, since he looked content. Phew, his innocence is still in place.

"Oh my~, maybe Yukino-chan should do that with him~." O-Oi! Haruno, what are you saying?! Next to me, Yukinoshita's cheeks turned red at the thought. Thankfully (?), they weren't too red, so she didn't take it too seriously.

However, Shiromeguri was questioning herself. "D-Do they really do that in second year?" She personally never did it with anyone, but was she a minority in her year? Well, it's not like I want to do it with anyone.

The atmosphere in the theatre had turned a little awkward, but there was no choice but to continue forward.

"Such values are pointless."

"Saying something like 'femininity' sounds pretty bitchy to me," Hachiman offers.

"There you go again! Calling someone a bitch is very not cool! You're seriously creepy, Hikki!" Yuigahama was raising her arms up and down as she was yelling.

"Calling someone a bitch has nothing to do with being creepy," I pointed out. I felt some people glare at me from behind for that comment, but as usual, they were ignored.

"Calling someone a bitch has nothing to do with being creepy. And stop calling me Hikki, bitch."

Oh wow, I said the exact same thing as last time? Aside from the additional sentence at the end obviously.

"Senpai didn't like 'Hikki'?" Isshiki was confused, since Yui is still using it. It must have grown on him…

Yuigahama, seeing herself on the screen, couldn't help but ask a question. "Why did you keep calling me a bitch?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I can't remember." That was a lie. I'm pretty sure I was really annoyed by her saying I was weird and creeped her out. The screen makes that pretty obvious though, how did she miss it?

Orimoto nearly burst out laughing at his insults. Hahahahaha! Hikigaya insulting someone just like that? Imagine if our middle school classmates saw this!

With a red face and closed eyes, she shouts, "You are so creepy! I can't believe you!"

"Just calling someone creepy all the time kind of nullifies the impact, doesn't it?" Hiratsuka pointed out. It caused Yuigahama to blush in embarrassment.

"I-I'm not very good with i-insults!" Good thing you aren't, that would be terrifying.

Meanwhile, Miura pondered on what the screen showed. "So Hikio's first meeting with Yui, like, didn't go too well?" Not what I expected, especially since they're really close now.

"That's what it looks like," Hayama replied. "Maybe they had better future interactions?"

Behind them, Haruno smirked in amusement. Hikigaya was so interesting. And Yukino-chan's straightforwardness was quite amusing. They really do fit well together.

The scene cuts to a view of the outside of the school, before switching to the cooking room.

"What? Cookies?" Hachiman asks.

"It seems there's someone she'd like to make handmade cookies for. But she's not very confident, so she wants our help. This is her request."

"Wait, that was Yui's request?" Isshiki never knew how she joined the service club, so seeing it all was new to her.

Komachi let out a small giggle. Hehe, I bet she didn't know Onii-chan would be there to see her cookies!

"Huh? Yui, why didn't you ask us about it?" Ebina asked, finally saying something that didn't relate to yaoi. Miura was curious as well.

"U-Um… I think the me on the screen will explain…"

"Ask your friends for that."

"Even Hikio wondered why!" Oi, no need to yell it out.

"Y-Yeah, well…" The camera focuses on Yuigahama. "I… don't really want them to know. Acting all serious like this doesn't match my friends."

"Huh?" Ebina, Tobe and Miura expressed their confusion at this. But Hayama mentally nodded, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.

I can't say she's wrong. Our group hasn't really done something like this. But I'm fine with that.

Behind him, Haruno shook her head but remained silent. That got a questioning look from her seatmate, but she decided to remain silent.

Meanwhile, Totsuka was confused. "Um, w-what's serious about handmade cookies?"

I looked awkwardly at Yukinoshita and Zaimokuza, before sighing. "Well… it's like a way for people to show affection? Generally it's used during Valentine's day, but it can be done all year round." What if I made some for Totsuka? Wait, no no! I can't let his angelness distract me from Yukinoshita! Bad brain!

"Oh! That makes a lot more sense than what I was originally told!"

"Huh?" What sort of terrible thing did they tell him?!

"Ah, um… I think it was that they were for people the giver felt bad for?" Totsuka rubbed his cheek. "One of my old classmates told me that."

Hmm, that's not as bad as I expected. But someone's still spreading misinformation! How could you lie to that face?!

"It sounds like some classmates were jealous of you," Yukinoshita pointed out. "So they made up a lie to make you feel bad."

"O-Oh… well, that's okay!" Wow, you don't hold any grudges at all, do you? As expected of a benevolent angel!

"I see."

"Besides, I heard from Hiratsuka-sensei that this club grants students' wishes, right?"

"No. The service club only helps people," Yukinoshita explains. "We don't give fish to starving people. We teach them how to fish so they can stand on their own."

"Th-That's kinda amazing."

Yukinoshita walks over to Yuigahama and adjusts her apron. "It's crooked. Can't you even put on an apron right?"

"What's with your urge to insult people?" Miura asked, glaring at Yukinoshita. "Like, you completely changed the topic!"

Before Yukinoshita could snap back, Yuigahama spoke up first, giving a smile. "Don't worry about it! It's just a Yukinon thing!"

"But-"

"Now now, if she's fine with it, then there's nothing to complain about, alright?" Hayama stopped Miura before she could protest any further.

"...Fine." She leaned back in her chair and let the issue go. For now.

"Sorry. Thanks."

Hachiman, being left out, decides to speak up. "And? What am I supposed to do?"

"You can just taste them and offer your opinions." The scene shows the ingredients used, before it switches to show what looks like lumps of coal.

Everyone aside from the three that were there blinked in confusion. A few people rubbed their eyes to make sure they were seeing right.

"Um… what is that?"

"Why did you guys go to the hardware store?"

Kawasaki and Tobe managed to ask out. You know, if I wasn't there, I'd be as startled as you guys. Guess I better explain.

"Those are Yuigahama's 'cookies'." I shuddered at the memory of eating them.

Hiratsuka frowned at the pink haired girl. "How are your cooking skills that bad? Do I need to teach you?"

"N-No! They're better now!" They better be, because I don't want to deal with that monstrosity!

"How can someone mess up so much and so often?

"It looks like the charcoal they sell at the hardware store. I feel like a poison tester."

Totsuka winced. "T-That's a bit harsh, Hachiman…" I'm sorry for upsetting you! Please forgive me! Wait, I need to stay strong.

"W-Well, I c-can't hold back, you know?" I sounded very out of character there. Totsuka's aura is too much for me!

"Never fear! If the creator is confident in their creation, I'll test them!" Zaimokuza declared. His words brought me back to my sense. This was a year ago, moron. Why does everyone seem to forget that?

"Where's the poison in this?!" Yuigahama picks up a piece, before images of mushrooms sprout around her. "Maybe it is poisonous…"

"O-Oh, never mind..." And looks like he backtracked too. You should have stuck with it! I would have given you a piece!

Miura was starting to feel a little glad that Yui didn't go to them for help. She didn't know what would have happened if she was forced to taste… that.

Komachi decided that, unless her skills did improve as she claimed, she was going to drill cooking into her head.

"We won't die, will we?" Yukinoshita expresses her concerns, before she places an empty bowl on the table. "Well, let's think about how to improve this."

"How about Yuigahama never cooks again?"

"Onii-chan! Don't say that!"

"What? It was terrible!" Although, I guess it was probably the wrong thing to say. Hard work betrays no one, so I guess with enough effort, she would have improved.

"Heh, not even holding back?" Haruno called out. Why do I feel like there's a second meaning in there?

"Heh." Orimoto couldn't help but let out a short laugh.

"That's how you're solving things?" Yuigahama takes on a serious expression. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for cooking. I don't have the… What do they call it… Talent?"

"The only solution is to try harder." She turns to Yukinoshita with a surprised expression. "Yuigahama-san, you just said you don't have talent, correct?"

"Uh, yeah…"

"Try changing your perception. People who don't apply even minimal effort have no right to envy those with talent. Unsuccessful people are unsuccessful because they can't imagine the effort that successful people have invested."

Hiratsuka shook her head. "That's not entirely true, Yukinoshita."

She turned to the teacher with a surprised expression. "Is that so?"

"Yep. I have a couple of friends who work harder than their co-workers, yet they generally get passed up on promotions." She frowned. "That's the unfortunate reality of our society."

There's also the fact that you can't get married, despite you trying so many times. "Say, Hikigaya? Were you thinking of something bad just now?" The teacher turned to me with a fearsome glare. Are you an esper?! Wait, no, I need to fool her!

"Eh? What do you mean?" Perfect!

"Don't even try." Wait, no! Please don't! Hiratsuka stood up and pulled her fist back, ready to pummel me. Thankfully, my little sister saved me from inevitable destruction.

"Hiratsuka-sensei, you can punish my brother later. But I want to see what else happens first!" Hold on, you're supposed to stop her completely! That was low on Komachi points!

The teaching considered it for a moment before nodding. "Sounds fair." She sat back down, but I could still feel her glare on me. I'm scared! Please go easy on me!

"...What just happened, Senpai?" Isshiki watched it all with a confused expression. You ask a brilliant question! And I will not answer it!

"B-But lately, everyone says they don't do it. Stuff like this doesn't suit them."

Yukinoshita stops cooking for a moment. "Could you please stop trying to match everyone around you? It's terribly annoying. Aren't you embarrassed, looking to others to tell you why you're awkward, clumsy, or foolish?"

That's a very good point. It's unfortunate that too many people fall into that trap. I mean, look at me. I completely ignored those people and I turned out just fine!

Yuigahama grabs her apron in what seems to be frustration. "You're…"

"You're so cool…"

"Huh?" Multiple people said out loud. I think the mind of Yuigahama is seriously confusing everyone else. I can't really blame them, since it even confuses me sometimes.

"Forget about senpai; Are you a masochist?" Isshiki couldn't help asking. You know, looking back on this, I can see why you think that. But Yuigahama as a masochist? That sounds terrifying, and I don't know why!

"No!" The pink haired girl vehemently denied. "That's just weird!"

In the back, Ebina began muttering. "It's not as good at Hikitani x Hayama, but I could get behind Yui x Yukinoshi-"

"Shut up!" Kawasaki slapped her in the shoulder, her face red in embarrassment. Why is she so into that?!

"Huh?!" Both Hachiman and Yukinoshita couldn't help shouting out.

"You don't say anything superficial at all. That's kind of… cool!"

"W-Were you even listening? I believe I was being rather harsh."

"Yeah, your words were harsh, but I felt like that's how you really feel. All I've ever done is try to match everyone else." Yuigahama puts on a determined expression on her face. "Sorry! Next time, I'll do it right!"

Hayama felt guilty at her words. Honesty, huh? I guess our clique never really had a lot of that. But for him, that was fine.

Shiromeguri found herself agreeing with the pink-haired girl on the screen. The insults were a bit too harsh, but she's honest at least!

"Trying to match the masses is indeed a futile effort!" Once again, Zaimokuza began blabbering. "Rather, you should be yourself, ignoring the pressures of society!" I feel like that could have been cooler if he phrased that differently. But I do agree with him.

Totsuka, however, was looking at him with glowing eyes. "That's some great advice, Yoshiteru!" Oh well, if he says it's worded great, then it must be!

Hachiman seemed satisfied with her response. "Teach her the right way to do it."

Yukinoshita seemed to hesitate for a second, before relenting. "I'll give you a demonstration. Do exactly as I do."

"Okay!"

"I can't wait to see what she made!" Komachi exclaimed with shining eyes. Maybe her claim was true and she wouldn't have to drill cooking into Yui's head after all!

Miura had a soft smile on her face. While she didn't like Yukinoshita's insults, at least she seemed willing to teach Yui.

"Now I'm curious to see the difference from the first time," Hiratsuka mused, rubbing her chin. "Although, knowing Yuigahama…"

The screen shows the results of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's cooking. On the right is what they intended to look like, while the one on the left looks extremely burnt.

It felt like everyone in the room sighed. I can't blame them either.

"They're totally different…"

"How is that possible? She was following Yukino the entire time!" Isshiki wasn't normally one to express disbelief, but this was simply too confusing.

"Eheheh…" Yuigahama scratched her cheek with a finger. Poor her, unable to explain her inability with cooking. Maybe she pissed off the cooking gods in a past life?

"Man, I wonder how bad my cooking is!" Tobe wondered out loud. And by out loud, he did it loud enough so even I could hear it. Sorry to say it, but I don't care for your cooking at all!

Yukinoshita rests her head on the table in frustration. "How am I supposed to make you understand?"

As she despairs, Hachiman eats one of the cookies. "So, why are you guys trying to make cookies that taste good?"

"Huh?" "What are you saying?"

Now what does that mean? Hayama didn't fully understand what Hachiman meant by that.

"What nonsense are you spouting out now, Hikigaya?" Hiratsuka was glaring at me.

I sighed, keeping my focus on the screen. "Just wait and see."

"Come back here in ten minutes. I'll show you some real handmade cookies."

"Now it's my turn in the showdown."

"Huh? I thought you couldn't make cookies, Onii-chan?"

"Yeah, I can't." That got several questioning looks from behind me, but I once again ignored them. How many times have I ignored the amount of looks from behind me now? It's getting really repetitive!

Haruno smirked in amusement. Now what little idea do you have now?

They come back to see cookies that look just as burnt as Yuigahama's. The two girls take a bite of them before giving their verdict.

"Um… Hachiman? Those don't look very good…" Ouch! If those were my own cookies, I might have actually cried right then and there.

"These are real handmade cookies?"

"They're not that good."

"Hikitani-kun needs cooking lessons too, huh?" Shut up Tobe.

Haruno, however, had a feeling what he had done. Her smirk got wider. My my, you made them wait for ten minutes for nothing?

"Really? Sorry, I'll toss them." Hachiman goes to throw them away, but Yuigahama stops him.

"Wait! You don't have to toss them." She throws an entire cookie in her mouth. "They're not that terrible."

"These are the cookies you made, actually."

"Eh?" Half of the people expressed confusion at the comment. The other half had realization dawn on them.

"Huh?" "What are you talking about?"

"This is a story of my friend's friend." The scene switches to the film reel again.

Oi! Why is this stupid screen insistent on showing my embarrassing memories?! I glared daggers at it, wishing it to stop immediately.

Next to me, Yukinoshita was looking smug. "My, so you remember everything about your 'friend's friend'?" I chose to ignore her. No way I was going to give her satisfaction over this!

On his other side, Komachi grimaced. Another bad Onii-chan memory?

Hayama leaned forward in interest. Another memory of yours?

"Seems there was a girl who would tell him every time something happened." It shows a girl walking up to the person in the flashback. "I thou- I mean, he thought, 'This must mean she likes me!'"

Orimoto frowned. She recognized the girl in the flashback, but she didn't know her well. I knew Hikigaya confessed to a few people before me, but how many?

"Senpai fell for that trap, eh?" I turned away from the screen and looked at her. She was looking at me with that foxy smile of hers. Sigh, I can't even rebuke you this time.

"So he made up his mind, and he asked her. 'S-So tell me who you like. Just his initials.'"

"'Huh?'" She squirmed in place for a moment. "'...H'"

"Oh no…" Kawasaki immediately knew what was going to happen. She facepalmed, not wanting to see the embarrassing misconception.

Behind her, Shiromeguri also realized what was coming next. Her eyes widened and she let out a short giggle. Hehe, poor Hikigaya!

"'H?! Is it me?!'"

"'What are you talking about? You're creeping me out. Would you stop?'" As that was said, a chalkboard with a drawing of Hachiman is shown.

"Hey! That girl was being really mean!" Yuigahama pointed at the screen with an angry expression. Komachi was also glaring at the screen while radiating a dark aura.

Hayama, however, was curious about the chalkboard. "Hikitani-kun? Can you explain what the face on the chalkboard is for?" Oi, can you actually call me by my name?

I turned around to face him. "I want to say that they were making fun of me, but whoever drew that put way too much effort into making me look nice." I mean, just look at it!

Orimoto remembered seeing that same drawing in class, but she didn't understand what it was for at the time. I can't say it was meant to be a nice drawing, but it's not a bad one either.

Ebina was impressed with the drawing shown. They made a fairly accurate representation, and that's hard with a chalkboard. She liked to draw, so she had an eye for when something was good or not.

"Wait a minute." Yukinoshita cut in as the scene returned to the present. "So that's a personal experience of yours?"

"Hey, you… It was my friend's friend!"

"Yukino-chan saw through that instantly!" Haruno laughed.

"Well, it was pretty obvious Hikki?" Ugh, you too? Eh, my embarrassment meter had probably overflowed a while ago, so I really don't care right now.

"And what were we supposed to take from that?"

"Well, you know. Guys are simple. They'll get the wrong idea if you so much as talk to them, and they'll be happy just to get handmade cookies from you. So they don't have to taste good."

"Really?" Shiromeguri sometimes gave handmade cookies to a few of her friends, but she never did that for the boys. "Maybe I'll use that one day…" I'm not sure that kind of thing works in college, but go ahead and try. I'll root for you!

"Hikitani-kun is right!" Tobe agreed. "Of course, it's better if they taste good!" I mean, I don't disagree with you, but you're pretty annoying. Oh well, at least he's not as bad as I remember.

"They don't taste good?" Yuigahama asks with an angry expression. "Shut up!" She starts throwing bags at Hachiman, which he dodges.

"As long as he knows you tried your best, wouldn't that sway his mind?"

"Is that how it works?" Yukinoshita pondered on the statement.

Zaimokuza nodded. "Indeed! If you ever have a boy you wish to sway, remember this advice!" I feel like you're just saying that so someone would give you cookies. Which is highly unlikely, I'm afraid. Then again, I managed it, so maybe you can defy the odds too!

"Would it sway you, Hikki?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, it'd sway me hard. And stop calling me Hikki."

"You really got unlucky," Komachi said, looking at Yuigahama with a cheesy grin. "If only Onii-chan wasn't there!" The comment caused the pink haired girl to blush lightly.

"Y-Yeah…"

A light smile appears on Yuigahama's face, unseen by the others.

"So, what are you going to do, Yuigahama-san?"

"Yeah, I'm going to try it my way. Thanks, Yukinoshita-san."

"So Yui didn't bother trying to improve her cooking after that?" Miura frowned. She was hoping that she got more help after that terrible looking second cookie.

"Not true! I spent a lot of time on my cookies!" Yuigahama cried out, her blush disappearing as she spoke. "They just, um, didn't exactly work out?" Yeah, I know that.

Behind us, Ebina started giggling. "Hehehe. If only Yukinoshita and Hikitani weren't dating, then I could have made Hayama give cookies to him! And then…!" A line of blood dripped down her nose. Your delusions are really scary! How do those slaps not have any effect on you?!

"Yui!" Oh, looks like the angel is speaking. "D-Do you want to cook together sometime?"

"Oh! Sure Saika!" Yuigahama turned away from Miura and nodded to the silver haired teen. "It probably would have to be until we're done with this though…" Well, duh. I don't see any kitchens here.

The scene shows the outside of the school again, before switching to show the Service Clubroom.

"Did we really handle that right? Yuigahama-san's request from last week." Yukinoshita asks. Hachiman perks up.

"It was fine, Yukinon!"

Yukinoshita softly smiled at her seatmate. "I'm… glad to hear that."

Hiratsuka put in her two cents. "If the client was satisfied, then further action wouldn't be needed." She smiled, before turning to me with a frown. "As for whether the method was good…"

Now stop looking at me like that! "This took place a year ago! Quit scolding me for my year old mistakes!"

"What're you on about now?"

"I think, if you want to improve yourself, you should challenge your own limits. I think that would benefit Yuigahama-san most in the end."

"Your efforts will never betray you. They'll betray your dreams, though."

"Huh?" Yukinoshita turns to face Hachiman.

"Ugh, one of Onii-chan's stupid quotes."

"Oi! You lost some points for that one!" I pointed at my sister. In response, Komachi stuck her tongue out. I will not allow you to insult my teachings like that!

Kawasaki thought about what he just said. So he's saying that my efforts will betray my dreams, but not myself? What is that supposed to mean?

"Not all dreams will come true through effort. Actually, most of them won't even come true. But if you tried your best, you can take solace in that."

Ah, that's what he meant. Kawasaki understood now. She sort of agreed, but what if she tried her best and she got nothing in return. Why would she take solace in that?

"But senpai, that's just self satisfaction!"

"That's just self-satisfaction. You're naive. It's creepy."

Isshiki looked surprised that Yukino said the same thing. Well, aside from the insults.

"Heh, you two aren't wrong." I didn't say anything more than that. No point in defending myself when I'll just be attacked from all sides.

Haruno found that statement amusing. So you think everyone's dreams will fall in the end? Hehe, I won't say you're incorrect.

After she says that, the door slides open, revealing Yuigahama.

"Yahallo!" The two occupants of the room are silent for a moment.

"You need something?"

"What, I'm not welcome? Yukinoshita-san, do you hate me?"

"T-That's quite the leap, Yui!" Totsuka exclaimed.

"I wouldn't say I hate you. You're just not my type."

"And that's mean!" She- er, he was pouting at the two girls. That's a dangerous attack! If that was aimed at me, I would beg for forgiveness as many times as necessary! However, it appeared the two girls were more resistant to it.

"Don't worry Saika!" Yuigahama pulled Yukinoshita next to her, making her let out a cute yelp. "We're best friends now!"

The black haired girl pulled away with a blush. "P-Please warn me if you're going to do that."

Komachi looked at the two with shining eyes. "Onii-chan, when will you act that way with Yuki-nee?" Whoa, are you seriously expecting that out of me right now? Scary!

Haruno watched the whole exchange with a glint in her eye. Yukino-chan is so cute when she's all flustered! I'll need to make sure to put her in more situations with Hikigaya!

"Yesyesyes! Yukinoshita x Yui!" Ebina had a crazed look in her eyes as she watched the interactions between the two girls.

"That means the same thing in girlspeak, you know!" She pouted at Yukinoshita.

"So, did you need something?"

Yuigahama starts taking off her backpack and pulls something out. "I guess you'd call this thanks for the other day? I made cookies!"

Ugh, that brings back bad memories. But I don't regret eating them. After all, she tried her hardest on those. Why would I have gone back on my words?

However, Miura was curious. "Were those cookies better than the previous ones?" You'll probably see in a minute, since this stupid show seems insistent on showing my personal memories.

"Heheh… um, sort of?" Yuigahama scratched her cheek. The blonde hair girl sighed.

She gives a bag to Yukinoshita, who looks reluctant to eat them. "I'm not really hungry…"

"Yeah, it's pretty fun once you try!" Yuigahama pulls out another bag of cookies. "Maybe I'll try making a boxed lunch next time. Oh, and Yukinon, let's eat lunch in the club room together!"

"No, I like to eat alone. I'll pass. And 'Yukinon' creeps me out, so don't-

"Also, Yukinon, I'm free after school, so I'll help with the club!" As Yuigahama is talking, Hachiman walks out of the room to let the two talk. "Yeah this is, what do you call it? To say thanks!"

"Are you listening? Yuigahama-san?"

"You two sure moved fast," Haruno teased. "Hikigaya even knew what the next course of action would be!" ...I can't even say you're wrong, damn it!

"Oh!" Ebina was laying in her chair, looking extremely out of it. "This is beautiful…" I think it's best if we ignore her. Hell, maybe we should give her a blindfold so she can't watch this.

"Yui sure gets along well with Yukinoshita-san!" Ugh, I almost forgot you were there Tobe. Can you quiet down for once?

Hachiman walks into the hallway, away from the service club. Before he gets very far though, Yuigahama calls for his name. "Hikki!" He turns around to see her throwing a bag of cookies, which he catches. "It's just to show my thanks. You helped me, too."

"Y-You…!" Eh, what's with the tone, Zaimokuza? I turned around to see that he held a betrayed expression on his face. "G-Good job with t-the cliche… b-brother in arms…"

"Yoshiteru, are you okay? You sound sick!" Totsuka worriedly looked over to the chuunibyou teen. Nah, he's just being overdramatic. Stop worrying the angel!

"Y-Yeah, I'll be fine." His betrayed expression had faded, thanks to Totsuka's smile. Ah, at least, he has the sense to not worry him too much.

She runs back into the club room and the scene switches to Hachiman outside. He pulls out one of the cookies, which is in the shape of a heart.

"This looks ominous."

"Hikki!" Yuigahama pouted at me. "Meanie!"

"...Normally I would disagree with Onii-chan, but that cookie is scary!" Komachi shivered at the thought of eating it.

The pink haired girl changed her focus to my sister. "Komachi-chan!"

"It seems like a bad omen somehow, but I'll accept it with gratitude." Hachiman has a bite of the cookie, before he coughs in anguish. However, he pushes forward and eats the whole cookie.

Not willing to go back on your word, eh? Haruno thought that was… slightly boring, but she could wave it off.

"O-Oh…" Yuigahama blushed at Hikki's actions, before she smiled at him. "T-Thanks for eating that..."

I waved her off. "It was terrible."

"Hikki!"

"And stop calling me Hikki."

Heh, that timing. But I really don't care about the name anymore.

The Camera pans upwards as the screen changes to show the episode title.

And So, Our Mistaken Youth Begins.

"That was a fun watch!" Shiromeguri exclaimed.

"So that's the end of the episode?" Isshiki asked with a head tilt. "I've never seen a show with the episode title at the end."

"Do not worry, Isshiki-san! Plenty of anime have their episode title at the end! This is simply one of the many that do," Zaimokuza explained. For some reason, my kouhai looked a little disgusted. Oh dear. You truly have no female fans!

That did make me realize something, however. "Aren't there supposed to be endings?" As if the screen heard me, music started to play.

OST: Hello Alone

Out of the darkness, the words "My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected" appear on the screen, all with different fonts and text sizes.

"What in the world?" Hiratsuka looked surprised. "That's not what I expected from this."

"It sounds like a rock song!" Tobe shouted with an arm up. Uh, are you sure about that?

Zaimokuza turned to the brown haired guy and… actually frowned? "Never judge an ending on its first couple of seconds! The tone can change quite quickly!" That's true. I remember seeing several endings that started fast but ended slow.

It switches to show pictures of different sceneries, most of them pictures of a beach. One of them has Yukinoshita standing in front of the ocean, before it switches to the view below a boardwalk.

"Huh? I don't think I have done that before." Yukinoshita looked confused at seeing herself. Didn't the opening also have some scenes that you clearly weren't there to do? You should have expected this!

Speaking of that… "This ending seems really lazy. There's, like, no extra animation to it." Whoa, Miura is the one to point that out? Do you actually watch anime?!

A picture of a seagull in the sky is shown, before it shows a picture of Yuigahama leaning back on a metal fence. Then it shows Hachiman looking back as he's walking to school.

Well, I can say the song's pretty nice. Not what I would have really imagined for an anime covering my life, but it also does involve Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, so I guess it fits.

Hayama, however, noticed a detail. Hm? Hikigaya's picture was in black and white, compared to the others being colored. Does that mean…?

The final picture shown is Soubu High School as it suddenly starts folding into a book. The song ends.

No one spoke for a few moments, just waiting to see if something else would pop up. When nothing did, the theatre erupted into chatter. None of us in the front two rows stood up though.

"It appears that this starts near the beginning of our second year," Yukinoshita observed, placing a hand on her chin. "I'm curious as to why it focused on Hikigaya-kun though…"

I smirked and jabbed a thumb at myself. "It's clearly because whoever made this figured that I would be the best protagonist." I was still against the screen showing all of this, but my ego could take solace in being an anime protagonist. As long as I wasn't a trashy spineless harem protagonist, I would have been fine with almost anything!

Zaimokuza nodded at my statement and crossed his arms. "Hachiman has the qualities of a likable main character, while also being somewhat relatable for some of the viewers." Huh? Now I'm curious what qualities you're talking about.

"Pfft, likable? Senpai isn't that at all!" Isshiki exclaimed. I felt offended for a second, before I heard her mumble to herself. "Well… not at first…" Heh? So I am likable after knowing me?

"Um, I noticed that only Hachiman, Yukinoshita, Yui and Hiratsuka-sensei were the only ones to show up!" Totsuka nervously spoke up, changing our conversation. "A-Aside from Hachiman's middle school c-classmates, of course!"

"That's pretty normal," Hiratsuka explained, standing up and putting on her teaching face. "In typical anime and manga, the first few episodes or chapters focus on the main character and a few other important characters. There are very few exceptions to this rule." I can't believe our teacher knows this much. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or not.

"O-Oh! That makes sense!" Totsuka bowed to the tall teacher. "Thank you for the explanation!"

As the group in the front two rows were talking to each other, the back two rows were having their own conversations.

"Hayato! That was pretty interesting, seeing Hikitani-kun's story!" Tobe shifted over in his seat and faced Hayama. "I wonder when we will show up!"

Hayama smiled at Tobe and gave his answer. "I think it will be very soon." Truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure. He never had the opportunity to really watch anime, so he didn't quite get the terms that Hikigaya's friends were spewing out. But the first episode did seem to cover two or three days, meaning it probably skipped a fair amount of content in his life.

"I dunno about that," Miura cut in. "Like, we didn't talk to Hikio often, right? So I don't think we will show up for a while." She crossed her arms and legs and leaned back into the chair.

"Aw man! I was hoping to be on TV!" Tobe looked downtrodden. Hayama patted his shoulder to make him feel better.

"Who cares if we don't show up!" Ebina shouted, having heard Tobe's comment. There was a maniac look in her eyes. "What's important is we get Hayama x Hikitani content! And Yukinoshita x Yui! Yes!" She was still crazy from the last interaction between the two girls.

Having enough of this, Kawasaki shook her seatmate. "Stop being crazy! You're not the Hina I know!" She had a frantic look, as if she was witnessing her only friend slowly turn into a zombie.

"E-Eh? Saki-saki?" Surprisingly, the maniac look disappeared as she turned to look at the blue haired girl. "What were we talking about?"

"...I'm not talking about it." There's no way I'm going to talk about that nonsense!

"I can answer that for you, Ebina-san," Haruno said with a smirk, leaning forward from her row. "You were talking about your want for-"

"STOP! IT!" Kawasaki shouted loudly. That got the attention of our group. Now why is there yelling going on back there? I turned to look behind us.

"Saki! What's up?" Yuigahama heard the yelling from the blue haired girl.

"U-Um, it's nothing!" She was cursing her luck so very much right now. Why was everyone suddenly so interested in what was going on around her?!

Shiromeguri watched all of this with a confused expression. "What's going on? We were talking about something with appearances on the screen?"

"Yes! Go back to that!"

While the theatre was bursting into chaos, Orimoto watched it all from her seat. Now that the episode had ended, she felt even more left out than earlier. Normally, she could easily enter a conversation and talk to someone. However, that was a lot more difficult this time.

Am I here because of my association with Hikigaya? But why not someone else, like his-

"Hey, you." Orimoto snapped out of her thoughts. The blonde haired girl was looking straight at her. "Like, are you going to talk at all?"

"Oh! Haha, it's not like that." She rubbed her cheek. "It's just awkward for me, you know? I don't really know anyone here well aside from Hikigaya and Hayama."

Miura sighed. "Still, isn't it boring just sitting there? You should go, like, talk to someone."

Orimoto gave a grin. "I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Realizing that she had an opportunity to stop being left out, she decided to ask a question. "By the way, can I sit in the seat next to you?"

The blonde haired girl looked surprised for a moment, before turning her head to the empty seat. "I guess it's alright. But don't try anything with Hayato!"

Sweet! She walked around the row and placed herself next to Miura. "Thanks! And don't worry about Hayama." After the double date mishap, Orimoto had sort of ruined her reputation with the blonde haired guy.

Before they could start having an actual conversation, however, the voice had returned.

I'm back~!

Ugh, not this annoying thing again. I noticed several people had groaned at the arrival. Wow, I'm not actually alone in thinking it's annoying?

So, how was that first episode? Just kidding, I already know how you all feel!

Then what was the point of asking that? This is why I hate gods, they're never straightforward.

Anyways, I came in to let you guys know that the second episode will be starting in a few seconds! So please move your attention to the screen! Thank you!

I moved my attention to the screen, which was starting to flicker between different colors. Beside me, the other's also focused their attention on it, ready to see the next episode. Guess, it's time to see what other embarrassing things this stupid screen will show.

---

It's done! Holy crap, this was pretty exhausting. I already had immense respect for reaction writers, but now it's even higher. Even with me writing for essentially two weeks straight, it still took this long. Wow. I guess it's what happens when you have sixteen characters and you need to balance them accordingly (I know some of the cast got more reactions than others; that's just natural, unfortunately). I hope they're in-character, but I can't guarantee it. I may have also gotten some honorifics wrong in the reactions (I used the wiki for information, but for some reason not every character has a section on nicknames, so I kind of just went with what I thought worked). Still, I hope it worked well enough!

Ok, a few notes before I go onto questions. I have not read the Oregairu Shin novels (It's the sequel to Oregairu) and I don't plan on it. So I'm choosing to completely ignore its existence for the most part. In addition, I'll be reacting to the anime only, so if there's cut content from the light novels? Well, uh... that's really unfortunate!

Thank you all for the support! Your reviews have been great to read and I'm glad you all wanted this as much as I did! 114 Followers and 82 Favorites on the first chapter alone, that's crazy! Now here are some questions you guys had.

How far will you go? - As far as possible. I want to completely cover the entire anime, but whether I'll actually reach that point is unknown. I have college coming up soon, so my time will be severely reduced. It might take a long while, but I'll get there at some point!

Will you cover the OVAs? - I haven't decided yet, but I probably will. I haven't actually watched the OVAs because I watched the dub originally and I don't think they're in dub yet.

What about non-canon AUs? - I actually really would love to do this at some point (I really enjoy reading reaction fics to other fanfics), but that's not going to be for a long time.

Update Schedule? - Uh... I don't have one. I only upload chapters whenever I finish them. I also hate to say it, but Episode 2 will likely take longer than this to come out (I need to take a break from writing for a few days, then I want to work on my other story before I do this one again). Sorry about that.

And that's it! I'll see you whenever the next chapter comes out!

By the way, if you want to see the progress, go to my profile. All of my stories will have a progress bar there, so you can see how close I am to finishing the next episode.