Story Number 1: Dissecting the Moon's daughter

So, guys... We're Pari and Para Owens, dual fanfic fans. We've taken inspiration from the 'Midnight Crew', though we do not claim to be remotely as good at this than them. They're the pros. We'll be reviewing some of the most... interesting... fanfics that are there. The normal writing will be the original text, while Pari will be just in bold, and Para in italic text and bold. Do tell us what you think of it.

Now that paragraph, up there, is from our first time. So we found these chapters lying around in our document manager, without any changes, and were like, "Heck, they're reusable!"

So, this is the second time we're posting it (the last one was deleted). Generally, we won't be changing much about it, except you know, the horrendous authors notes. Thanks again!

Chapter 1: Our collective first attempt which we hope we shall live through (so we did)

Para swivels on the gaming chair, thoughtfully chewing on a piece of toast. He decides to grace his sister with a look, whose face shows a myriad of emotions. On enquiring the source of this, Pari reveals her extensive drama feat is due to the reading of Moon Daughter, the infamous fanfiction known among fans as the 'My Immortal' of Percy Jackson fandom. Para decides to review this rather...interesting story...with the help of Pari, who looks liable to faint like a Victorian lady any moment. Para decides not to take any chances and get on with it.

Chapter 1…Where I get Claimed

Good for you, my dear. Many people wait for years trying to get claimed.

My gray eyes satred back at me from the fountain, sad like the end of a summer storm.

Do you hear that, Para? Her eyes...satred.

Forget about spelling. Seen worse. How were her eyes like a sad summer storm? Seen a lot of storms...but none of them looked sad to me.

Luke was dead….

And I'm going to low-key pretend as if I didn't dance around in joy when that happened after five books.

It was practically his own fault.

No one asked him to run behind Kronos, honestly.

Percy Jackson killed him last year in Olympus.

Again, wrong. Percy didn't kill him.

He sort of committed suicide by stabbing himself in the armpit, yeah?

I groned as I sat up in bed. I had a dream last night where I was claimed.

It's been years since I've read Percy Jackson, but...I don't think you get claimed that way.

That was kind of fast.

So why is she sad? I put it down to the whole not-claiming thing.

I didn't know my parents ever, I was an orphan on the Streets of NYC city until a family on a farm took me in,

God bless you, my dear.

but soon I was bullied by their daughter Brittany. with four diffrent coach Purses and bitchy blond hair.

How is hair bitchy? And what's purse?

I don't know. Shouldn't you be knowing?

Why would I know?

Aren't coach purses something you girls use?


She called me a freak because I had sliver eyes, black hair I cut by myslef so it was uneven and wore the same lether jacket everyday.

Pretty sure it's because of the atrocious spelling Brittany made fun of you.

Or the fact that she wears the same leather jacket everyday. Honey, it's not hygienic.

Why did she cut it by herself? She could've asked her foster family to do it. Or god's sake, aren't there any beauty parlours?

One day I had enough so I ran away only to find my way to Kronos's Army…..and Luke. I was a deimgod!

Why? Why would you do that, my dear?

You run away...and immediately join up the army of the evilest possible dad in the universe?

I knew I claimed today, because demigod dreams are like that,

Ohhh. Demigod dreams are sent by the jobless parents who claim them by dreams.

were not like normal people.

I think she sort of mentioned it before. Being a demigod and all.

I smiled to myself because I hated cabin number 11.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does cabin 11 have a fountain?

Why would you smile if you hate cabin 11?

The other demigods were mean and bullied me because I wasn't claimed,

No. They probably do it because they're suspicious of you. You did support Kronos.

also they always talked about how evil monsters were, but Luke and I knew better because the monsters in the army weren't evil,

The hell?! Monsters aren't evil?

they were actually misjudged

Misjudged. Give this girl a medal.

because they worked for Kronos but many had good hearts,

Of course.

Keep talking about monsters being kind when year open your belly and feast upon your liver.

That's... graphic.

What the hell, you knew my ex. She talked about castration in a regular conversation.


a draceema saved my life once from an evil rappist when I was in the streets. that's why she likes them.

Maybe they just recognised one of their own.

Why does she have to be saved from a rapper (I think that's what she meant)

Maybe she just doesn't like rap.

"Hey Flavia, you talking to your monster friends,"

Flavia! Oh...that's her name!

Laughed Annabeth, Percy's slutty girlfreind.

They didn't turn Percy's beautiful blond girlfriend to a slut! She's gorgeous, she's amazing, she's smart-

Ugh, our readers don't want to read about your schoolboy crush on Annabeth, Para.

She is blond and a Bitch, and from Athena, who are all like that.

Okay, no. You can't just call an entire cabin blond and bitchy.

She used have a crush on Luke, but she never had a chance…..Luke told me himself the only one love was me. Before he died.

I thought Luke was smart!

Not this version of Mr Castellan.

My eyes blazed wrathly,

Wrathly. Who knew that was a word?

I think it's wrathfully?

I knew she meant my BFF Ivy the Dryad.

Dear God in heaven, she found a bff?

Ivy was bullied by the other deimgods because she is a Dryad and they hate Dryads because they are monsters.

Was the last sentence her own opinion or that of the demigods in the camp?

Don't ask such questions, Pari.

"Eff off! My god parent is powerful to defend Ivy, she has no friends!"

How do you know, Flavia?

No comment.

Annabeth sneered, "You have no god parent! Your not claimed and nobody will claim you ever!" she put the haedphones back on, listening to 1 D like a slut.

There are so many things wrong with that sentence. For one, I support Annabeth. She's already boasting about her powerful godparent when no one's claimed her. Two, one direction is...

What I think Pari means is that there is no way listening to one direction can make you a slut.

I could feel a tear went down my face as Annabeth went away.

Can't bring myself to be sorry for her, actually.

Ivy came out from behind cabin 11 and I could see she was crying. "You heard her?!" I said.

She isn't deaf, Flavia.

Poor Ivy. Such a narcissistic, self obsessed friend who's fawning over a dead guy.

Ivy was crying chloryful which looked like normal crying but green, because she was a Dryad (Because Dyrads are from trees which have chloryful.)

Thanks for the biology lesson, Flavia.

I'll have you know it's chlorophyll

"Oh Flavia, its not fair, you will be claimed I know it," She hugged me and I felt better.

Because Ivy is a seer.

I wiped the tears off my face and looked in the fountain where we were sitting, by cabin 11. Now my jet black hair with a wave at the back of the neck has a white streak that was from depression when Britany bullied me, but I think it looks nice so I kept it.

Titan's curse, anyone?

Just one?

I have silver gray eyes which is why Luke called me Moonlite.

Spell it right, my dear.

I wiped away another tear when I thought this, it hurt so much to think of him killed after all we'd been threw together.

Well that's his own fault. No one threatened him at knifepoint for joining up.

But the moon reminded me "What if I am a daughter of the moon Goddess? Artmeis"


Calm down. Sorry everyone, Pari just got over excited.

Ivy shook her head, "Artemis is a virgin, that means she cant have kids, like ever."

Precisely. At least someone is speaking sense.

Back to normal?


Artemis is my fav Goddess, she looks kind of like me

And you, my dear, have you met her personally?

but her hair is Ginger and she has a silver bow and arrows

Auburn. Not ginger.

. I saw her once with all these girls that follow her and also have silver bows and arrows, but that's not the same as being her daughter which in my heart I wished I was.

The world, my dear, isn't a wish granting factory.

Oh, how dare you. That was such an amazing quote. You can't use it for such a disgrace.

But wishes dont come true, I knew young this world was not a fairy tale field.


Lies and danger are like dark clouds above us especially if your a demigod like I was.

Oh, she's going philosophical. That's nice. Proof that it's not just mud in her brain.

We walked over by some demigods practising with swords and axes and mace, and I took out my bow and made a prefect Bull's eye in the target.

She's a prefect?

. I think she meant a perfect bull's eye, crazypants.

Annabeth flipped me off because she is jealous I am the only deimgod in Camp who uses a bow and arrows.

Cabin 7 being like: What are we, daisies?

"Annabeht!" Yelled the center stood nearby.

Yeah! This isn't Annabeth! Para, this is Annabeht. Not our Annabeth.

He is Chrion, the leader of camp Half Blood,

Um no. The camp's director is Mr D.

a center half horse and half Man.

He's a center?

A center of?

He is 17 (look I know he is old in the book but this is my story so don't flame)

Uh, Author's notes in between. I detest them.

Why is he seventeen?

Maybe because Flavia has a weird ass crush on him-

No. No.

...Are you thinking what I am thinking?

No. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe that this story is...

Shut up.

and his long dark hair whiped in the wind above his chest. He looked sad because Kronos was his father

Duh. He would've done a happy dance, if he was that sort of person.

This is the very same guy who trained an entire camp of kids to fight his dad, yeah?

before he was killed into Tartarus, and Chiron was all depressed about it,

Oh, he's depressed.

OOC, much?

and he spent all his time in the big House by himself. Only now he come out looking wraithful.

Wraithful. I am actually not familiar with that word.

Neither am I, Pari. Neither am I.

"afti enai ena tragema!" Yelled Annabeth, exept in greek

Does she not mean that the above sentence is in Greek?

because she wants to look smarter, but it was a lie, I wasn't a jerk…she was!

Way to go, Flavia.

The epitome of maturity, Flavia.

"Why are you always causing troulbe when we practise Annabeth?"

Because she wants to.

Chiron said with his mighty center eyes

He has ... mighty eyes which are dead centre?

flashing, "you are jealous, and because Percy is your bf you think we will let you do whatever you want is that it?"

Jealous of what? Flavia?

But Ivy gasped and pointed at my head, "Look Chrion!" suddenly everyone looked at me, even Annabeth and they all kneeled!

Why would you guys do that? Where's your self respect, Annabeth?

I raised by hand to flip them off but then I looked up and saw shining like a thoughsand moonbeams,

What's a thoughsand?

a silver Stag on my head, also silver Hounds and a Bow and Arrows and a thin curvy moon which was silver.

That's a lot of things to float on top of your head.

True. A stag, hounds, bow and arrows and moon. Does she have a head bigger than a meteor?

It was so beautiful I cried!

I don't cry because something's beautiful.

Well, you're barely human.

Shut it, Para.

also because I knew what it meant…I was claimed, by Artemis! I stood in aw as the other demigods covered up there eyes because it was too bright!

So they were like, OMG, OMG, Flavia's a daughter of Artemis now?

"This cannot be" Said Chiron, "Artmeis is a virgin!"

Yn union! Dim ond Chiron sydd â synnwyr yn y gwersyll hwn!

Stop the Welsh, Para. Sorry everyone. Para got carried away.

"Well now she is not," Said Ivy.

Ohh, Ivy, burn much?