37Jane faced the closed casket, calming her racing heart. She holds her hand tightly onto the stars and stripes draped over it, silently praying that Casey was still out there. She'd never been super religious, but being raised devout Catholic in Boston, she couldn't fathom the existence of nothing beyond life. She turned around as she heard footsteps running towards her.
"Ma!" The four-year-old's voice echoes through the empty Catholic church. She quickly makes her way towards the tall slim women, followed by her visibly-tired nonna. Jane catches her effortlessly, pushing her dark brown hair out of her face. The Boston-raised, tall Italian's face was blotchy from crying, her eyes still swollen, but the tears dried. Charlotte looks up at the detective, "when does mommy come back?"
Jane sucks in a breath, trying to hold the tears back, "mommy's not coming back, not this time". The little girl is used to her mommy leaving for extensive periods of time, having been active duty military. The preschool-aged girl had asked this question a few times, not quite understanding. She rubbed the young girl's back, "she's gone to heaven, but she's still here, in our hearts".
The preschooler is the spitting image of Casey, with light brown hair, but with the same striking Rizzoli brown eyes. Charlotte looked up at her momma, then buried her face into the black dress the older woman wore (which she had only worn only at her mother's insistence, too tired to argue). Jane soothed the child, who had begun to cry again. Jane looked to her mother, Angela Rizzoli, who was still crying.
"I'm so sorry baby. Your father and I can keep Charli tonight if you'd like us to. So you can...process..."
"Nah ma, I think it's better if she stays with me tonight... I know it's been just the two of us these past three months, but I think tonight it's better that we're together." Jane looked to her mother and smiled softly. She had cried silently, not allowing anyone to see... she had too many people leaning on her, needing her support. She had to stay strong for her family, her mother, and most importantly, her daughter. Her daughter, the little girl that her wife, Casey had carried. Her daughter, who was the product of artificial insemination, with sperm courtesy of Jane's younger brother, Frankie (yeah, that was a fun conversation, but Casey really wanted a baby Rizzoli) and was a perfect blend of the two women, both in looks and personality.
"The ceremony was beautiful, and it was so nice of Father Crowley to do the service after the incident with Tommy." Angela smiled through the tears at her daughter, placing her hand against Jane's face.
"Yeah ma."
"You coming soon?" the elder Rizzoli asked.
"Yeah ma, I just wanted to say goodbye", Jane couldn't quite process that her wife was in that casket. She had been killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan, on what was supposed to be her last tour, before coming home for good... and well... she came home for good. Just not in the way that they had talked about. The good lieutenant colonel would be interred in the nearby cemetery, but her public wake had just ended. Casey's parents, who had disowned her at 18, were not in attendance, even though Jane had notified them as soon as she could. Casey Jones' parent's never approved of their daughter being involved in a lesbian relationship with Jane, and had disowned her as soon as she graduated high school. Casey had gone to Army boot camp and never looked back, and the couple were married (finally, as Angela would say) 10 years ago.
The detective followed her mother, making her way to her Chevy and setting the now sleeping little girl into her car seat.
"We'll follow you there ma," she hugged her mother and got into the driver's seat.
In true Rizzoli fashion, the day of sorrow culminated in a great Italian feast, with dishes that had been delivered all week to the Rizzoli house from various distantly related family members and friends. There were tears, but also laughter, as the family talked about the antics of high-school-aged Jane and Casey, their relationship, and the time that Jane freaked out about Casey being in labor, and forgot to bring Casey to the hospital in her rush to get there.
At the end of the night, Jane was too emotionally weathered to put her daughter to bed in her own room of the two-bedroom condo she and Casey had shared for the past 20 years. Instead, she brought the little girl to her own room, laying her on Casey's side. She kissed the child's head and cuddled the little girl all night.
A/N: This came to me recently, and I had to write it even though I haven't been active writing recently. I will be drawing on Casey's character for my gender-bent version, and we'll meet Maura in Chapter 1. This is cross-posted on AO3. I did revise this since originally posting yesterday since I had noticed some errors.