A/N: EDIT: Flames can buzz off. This is my HOBBY, not a job. I don't get paid to do this, though I sometimes wish I did.

As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story?

Poof! Gone! Awaaaaay to the void it goes. Gone once and for all. Forever. Completely.

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down for a bit, but I know that would upset a lot of people. Its just hard with two jobs.

Now for your questions!

Q: How powerful is Naruto in this?

A: He's still got his sage chakra and then some. What do I mean by that?

Read and see~!

Q: Did Naruto nuke Menagerie with his landing?

A: Nope, just tore a scar in it. And he's quite chagrined about that.

Q: Methinks the Faunus are about to find themselves a god, judging by those previews.

A: *Whistles innocently*

Q: So did the Faunus Wars happen already or...?

A: Technically speaking according to the lore, yes, they did. White Fang hasn't been founded QUITE yet but we're close to that point. Though with Naruto about, you can bet things won't stay the same, and not for long!

Q: Oi! Give us a single Winter Pairing already! You've done one for just about everyone else, but not her! We demand it!

A: Have meeeeercy...!

And if you laugh while reading this, well, all the better.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or a one! So here we go!

Last thing to clarify here, this is a Young!Kali. She's just a teenager at this point, and an amusing one at that~!

"I'm not a god. I'm as real as any one of you are.

I have hopes. I have dreams.

Don't call me a god."



Menagerie was...beautiful.

In hindsight, that was the first word that came to Naruto's mind when he saw the island by day. Make no mistake, it was an island, not a terribly large one, but an island nonetheless. Warm ground caressed his feet as he walked in the market; lush green forests greeted his eyes, coupled with white sands and crystal blue water as far as he could see. It was a paradise in spite of its size. To say nothing of the people!




Everywhere he looked he saw those who weren't quite human, men with horns and fangs, women with tails and scales. Some of them even had gills! More than a few looked upon him with quiet awe as he walked by. He didn't much like the reverence in their eyes; least of all the way they looked upon him like he was something more than them. Knowing why only made it worse. He had no one to blame bu himself.

You didn't fall from the sky and scar an island without drawing some notice.

Perhaps had he been more cognizant last night, he would've said something to the people. Tried to run damage control before the fair folk of Menagerie made their own assumptions. As things stood, he'd been too tired to even consider the ramifications of his actions. Kali had offered him a guest room and he'd gone to bed almost immediately. By the time he'd woken and had breakfast, it was too late. The rumor mill was in full spin.

Just remembering what he'd dealt with this morning made his head hurt.

"Lead us." a crowd of people all but bowed before him. "Teach us!"

"Me?! What did I do?!" Naruto cast a helpless gaze over his shoulder. "A little help?"

"No, no," Kali waved him on with a smile. "You seem to have your new followers well in hand. Carry on."


"Alright, alright. Give the man some space, people!"

He shook his head and banished the memory as he slipped through the streets after her. These people weren't simple by any means or measure; he'd simply done the impossible in their eyes. Apparently one miracle could be written off as something called a "semblance" -and he still didn't know what that was!- but he had gone well past that. Maybe he shouldn't have spammed those shadow clones to clear up that mes...or fetch all that food...or help people...or a lot of things...

The list went on.

All this, just because he'd just wanted to help!

Now far as these folk were concerned, he was the second coming of their god. Which was something of a problem; because last he checked, he wasn't one!

"You may was well be one to these people." Kurama's input only made matters worse. "Use your senses. Not a single soul here has chakra. Not as we know it."

On a whim Naruto did just that; sure enough, the truth alarmed him. Some of these people certainly had...something, but whatever it was, it wasn't chakra. Was it? Strange. It didn't feel like chakra. Had he fallen into a new world, or simply the future? He had no way of knowing and that frightened him.

...we're far from home aren't we?'

A jaw-popping yawn answered im. "Seems like it."

Well, he'd never been one to falter in the face of adversity and he wasn't about to now.

Even now, the sheer press of people threatened to overwhelm him. He'd not been neck deep in bodies like this since the war. Not since-no. Don't think about that. When he reached for his memories he found a gaping tear in his mind, a wound that still hadn't quite healed.

Would it ever? His smile soured.

"Deep breaths now, dream boy." Kali patted his arm as she sashayed past, hips swaying. "Follow me and don't get lost."

"Oi." Naruto laughed and took the distraction for what it was. "I already told you this ain't a dream."

"I know." a golden orb winced over her shoulder. "Its just fun to tease you. Now, c'mon!"

Naruto rolled his eyes and waded in after the grinning girl.

"Think a bijudama would sort her out?"

"Kurama, no! No blasting the island!"

"Just a suggestion...

He took comfort in what little she'd told him of this place as they made their way into the market. Menagerie wasn't all that large compared to most places he'd been. Nearly two-thirds of the landmass was comprised of desert, forcing the resident Faunus to congregate on smaller areas like this, thus resulting in small and dense settlements. The biggest settlement here was its capital, Kuo Kuana, in which he currently found himself. It wasn't a bad place per se, he just felt hemmed in. No doubt many of the folk here felt the same.

"Two thirds desert, eh? Maybe we should do something about that."

Naruto nearly missed a step. "Can we?"

"We couldn't before. We can now. You know why."

"When did you get so proactive?"

"What can I say?" his partner chortled. "I'm feeling generous. Must be all the worship."


He really could prove Kali wrong if he waned to. And there was a long dormant piece of him, now awake, that was...tempted. While she may have accepted his existence, she'd all but denied the possibility of him hailing from another world in its entirety. Honestly, it made him a bit cross. She'd realize the truth sooner or later. That at least, would be something to look forward to.

"Aha! There we are." Kali's voice snapped him back to reality.

"Say what now?"

"Hey, Alesia." Rather than answer, she glided past him to approach a fruit stand and a girl with long rust-red hair lingering behind it. "One mango please."

Brown eyes flicked to him. "Not getting one for your boy?"

Kali sighed. "He's not mine...

"No?" her fellow Faunus grinned, resting her elbows upon the counter. "Could've fooled me. Seems to be sticking pretty close to ya."

"Fine, two mangos."

Naruto blinked, somewhat taken aback, and considered the woman anew. Her skin was a dusky shade of brown, flecked with odd spots beneath the sunny white dress she wore. Or were they scales? The woman noticed his stare and those spots shifted, visibly changing color to a light red before tamping back down to a muted green. He jolted a little at the sight.

"Well," he muttered. "that's certainly something."

"I know you." Keen eyes regarded him in return. "You're that one what fell from the sky, ain'tcha?" She leaned back propping herself up against a post. "The one everyone's calling a god."

A spot of high color hit his cheeks. "I'm really not..."

"Naruto, meet Alesia Amitola." Kali waved a hand between the two of them. "She's a good friend of mine. Chameleon Faunus, if you're wondering.

"Single, too, your holiness." the younger girl winked.

Naruto nearly choked on his mango.


"What?" she received a selfsame smile and a shrug. "Can't a girl be honest? I don't much believe the rumors myself, but he did fall out of the sky and pull some pretty incredible stuff after all that...

Golden eyes narrowed to hooded slits. "Grr...how much do I owe you?"

"Darling, the show was payment enough."

"Heh, she's got fire. I like her."

"Gimme that!"

Kali all but snatched the fruit up, grabbed Naruto by the arm and dragged him aside. He managed a wave over his shoulder. Alesia returned it wholeheartedly.

"See ya around, Whiskers!"

"Ignore her." Kali muttered not a minute later. "She's crazy."

"Crazy, huh?" Naruto turned a bland look upon the cat faunus. "I'm beginning to think you're no exception that rule."

"Haha, very funny." She swatted at his arm. "Don't quit your day job, dear."

Her words spoken in jest, hit him like a sledgehammer. The smile slipped from his face and the ground threatened to open up beneath his feat. Job. Purpose. What was his, here? What should he do? What indeed? He had done his best to repair the damage made by his little crash landing, but now what? Where did he go from here? Moreover, where could he go?

Kurama swore softly. "Oh, boy."

"I don't have one."

Kali found herself,dragged to a halt. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, I don't have one." Naruto whirled away and lengthened his stride to pace. "I don't know why I'm here, how to find my way home, or even what happened."

And he didn't. Try as he might, he couldn't recall when or how he'd landed here. There had been a battle. Hadn't there? They'd won. Hadn't they? He recalled doing something to someone, but the rest was a grainy blur of static; his memories twisted and tattered in spite of his best efforts to marshal them.


He blinked, realizing Kali had caught him by the arm. With the other she drew him close and laid a hand on his. Strange as it might sound, that concerned look of hers gave him strength. Right, then. If he couldn't think something to do...then he would find something. He had to. He must; if only because the alternative threatened to drive him mad.

"I will be." he swallowed his fear and straightened. "Hey, I could help out a little more, you know. I'm stronger than I look."

Kali misunderstood and flushed. "The day I believe that is the day mankind walks on water. Miracles only happen once.

"Bull." he grabbed her by the wrist.

She bridled. "Wait, what're you doing-

"Come with me." he tugged her toward the coast and the world blurred.


"A meteor struck Menagerie...?"

Ozpin considered the report before him.

Perhaps he ought to have someone investigate...


"Ha! What say you now?!"

Kali blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

When Naruto first brought her down to the shore, she'd not thought much of it. Maybe he wanted to go swimming. Clear his head. Something like that. Boys did that sometimes. No, she hadn't deemed it worthy of any real concern. And why should she? Naruto was a strange sort alright, but she was sure he was normal...




Until he did this.

Men didn't walk on water. It just wasn't done. It couldn't be.

"Is that a semblance?" she touched one hand to her mouth to hide her awe.

"No! Its chakra!"

"So, lets see here." She tilted her head and began to count off the fingers of one hand. "You can walk on water, create blasts of energy, and run faster than light. What're you, Monty or something? You pulling my leg here, buster?"

Naruto crashed down into the ocean with a laugh. "Again with that! You keep distracting me!"

Kali giggled behind her hand. "Its what I do, dear."

As she looked on, her peculiar blond thrashed his way upright and somehow found traction on the glass surface of the sea. Sopping wet, he shrugged his way out of his jacket, revealing the thin mesh shirt beneath. Wow. That was certainly...certainly something, wasn't it? He whipped the soaked garment toward shore, where it landed with a wet splat. His shirt joined it soon thereafter. Oh. He was certainly well-fit, wasn't he?

He caught her staring, the fox devil. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, no." Kali waved a hand to fan herself. Was it hot in here? "By all means, continue."

Hey, if he was going to offer her a show, then she was going to watch! Nothing wrong with that!

Blue eyes met gold. "You're drooling."

"Not at all." she hurriedly dabbed at her chin. "By all means, dance on, or whatever you're doing"

His eyes flashed. "You wanna dance? I'll show you a dance!"

He blurred back toward the shore. Toward her.

"Wait, what're you doing?!"

Quick as a flash he grabbed her by the hands and raced back out onto the water. He didn't sweep her into his arms as she thought he might, on the contrary, he simply set her feet atop his, took her palms in his and did a quick backstep. Then another. Followed by another. Yet another. In a matter of moments they were out of the shallows altogether.

"Gah!" she clung onto him. "Don't you dare let go!"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Step one, two, three, and four. "Relax, we're fine-

A shadow passed underfoot.

Kali only saw it in her peripheral vision; a sudden shifting of something in the waters below.

Naruto was the one who reacted first. He absolutely blurred.


He whirled and flung her back into the water. In the same instant a towering pair of jaws burst from the sea and swallowed him whole. The rest of its body soon followed, a towering bulk thrusting itself up out of the depths. Kali didn't even have time to scream before she plunged into the dark. Her world dissolved into a whirl of bubbles.

Caught unawares she thrashed upright. What she saw down there tore a scream from her.

There was something down there. Its long undulating body writhing and twisting as it fought its way to the surface.

Grimm. Not just any Grimm. Sea Feilong. What was one of those doing this close to shore?!

A hand stabbed through the water and hauled her to safety.

Kali fought instantly, not quite comprehending what was happening.

"You're alright!" The smiling face of a shadow clone beamed back at her. "He's fine. Watch."

Drenched and quivering, she had a prime view of what followed; indeed, she saw it all. The Grimm saw them and reared back, its mouth aglow with light. Then it twitched. Its maw continued to glow, not with lightning but something else altogether. A low growl built in the air, muffled by its bulk. It keened angrily, writhing in pain.

Something roared, and it wasn't the beast.

Only a heartbeat later, Naruto burst from the beast's belly in a rush of golden light. Even as he flew through the air he did something with his hands and became something else altogether. The light intensified around him and took on the guise of a great gilded fox rimmed with black markings, nine tails in all. It engulfed him, surrounding him, protected him. Yet she could see him all the came, clear as day in the creature's skull. So too did she hear the cry that followed.


Strong jaws fastened upon the beast's neck, all but eviscerating is jugular.

A keening whine filled the air.

The Sea Feilong reared back and the fox mirrored it instantly. Light met light and the former yielded to the latter. The Grimm didn't stand a chance. Naruto's blast blew clean through its upper torso and hurtled across the horizon. For a moment Kali wondered if it would just keep going-


Heat. Light. Fire.

Those were the only words she could think to describe the apocalypse that followed. The sky cried. The ocean boiled. The entire island quaked.

Kali Beladonna saw destruction as she'd never seen before.

...well. There went a mountain somewhere in Mistral. Anything that blast hit was gone.

Those back on the island must've seen it too. They had to. You'd have to be blind to miss this.

He said he wasn't a god. And she believed him. Naruto was many things, but divine? Certainly not. He didn't act like it. Didn't want it? So how did one describe what she'd just seen. The answer was simple. He was a monster. Good? Evil? It didn't matter, not one bit of it. Not after witnessing this.

And yet when she saw his face, he looked...almost, sad somehow.

With neither word nor warning the fox dissolved, leaving its rider to fall. Naruto alighted upon the massive Grimm's crumbling remains and rode them to shore. Only then did he turn to face her, arms folded behind his head. The smile he wore was as false as the cheer in his eyes; if only because he knew just how badly he'd scared her.

"Do you believe now?"

Kali nodded numbly. "...can I keep you?"

Naruto sputtered and flailed his arms. "Excuse me?!"

That tore it. She started to laugh. What else could she say?

He was certainly a popular monster. And he was going to be hers if she had anything to say about it.

A/N: Saving the Sienna bit for next time, such as it is.

As ever, the Embers rule persists.

If folks don't like this? Poof! Gone! To the void it goes. Gone once and for all. Forever.

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do!

So, in the Immortal words of Atlas...

...review, would you kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews! Rough, though they are


Kali clapped slowly. "Well done."

Ghira clapped him on the shoulder. "I approve."

Naruto flung up his arms. "I don't!"

The second he touched down, she pounced.


"What's all the ruckus?"

"Hey, Sienna. Why are you wearing...?"

"Don't read into it." the young woman huffed. "I'm just helping out the old man on patrol after last night."

Naruto winced despite himself. "I really am sorry about that. My clones'll have the mess cleaned up in no time, I swear."

"You're the guy that slammed into the island?" Sienna's brow shot straight to her hairline. "And he's still alive after that? I call dibs."

Naruto nearly choked and desperately thumped his chest with a fist.

"Sienna," Kali cooed, "You're like a sister to me, but I WILL cut you. I saw him first."

"You're the one, then? The god that fell out of heaven?

Naruto sighed."Oh for the love of-

He found himself regarding at a fiery redheaded woman. Her eyes were sharp and keen, her skin pale, and though her face was dirty, she looked noble despite it all. The crimson swords hanging at her hip were decidedly less so. She didn't look

"What's your name?"

"My name is Anna Taurus."

The blades flashed free in the light.

"I would have you prove your worth. Prepare yourself."

EDIT: Aye, that's Adam's mother. Just saying that to prevent confusion.

"You say you answer to some sort of authority. They only want me dead because I'm an embarrassment. Because I do what they can't. What kind of authority is that?"