AN: So this is just a series of words that I vomited out while drinking massive plot holes and grammatical mistakes are present. Some things are rushed but, I was drunk. If people are interested in this story, I'll rewrite the bits that need it and keep writing as much as I can ~AKU.

In the centre of a village hidden within a great and mighty forest, an old man sat in an office that once again belonged to him. He sat there holding a newborn babe with blood-red hair and sapphire eyes with three whisker marks on either cheek. The child should have been with his parents, but they were dead, and the boy was now burdened with being the living prison of the demon that had killed them, and more than a thousand other villagers, now the old man had a decision to make. What should he tell the village? The village's ninja would know that no human could kill a demon, but they would also differentiate between a kunai and the scroll it was stored in the hoped, and besides who would hurt a baby. Reaching a decision, he whispered to himself, "I will put my faith in the people of this village."

At that moment, a shadow began to take on mass in the darkest corner of the office, and the unconscious ANBU who surrounded it, not realizing just what or rather who that shadow was. Out of the shadows and over the bodies, the newcomer strode until he was directly in front of the desk, a full-length black cloak and black mask concealing all of his features except a single glowing golden eye which saw more than any mortal man could comprehend. "Trust in the people eh, Hiruzen? I will entrust the last of my line to you, for my body has not fully recovered from that day yet. This construct of shadow cannot raise a child, so keep him safe and train him well, tell him of his mother and our clan; I fear knowledge of his father would be... detrimental to his health, so keep that a secret until I can come in person. But make one thing very clear. IF THEY HARM THIS CHILD IN ANY WAY, THEY SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF A TRUE DEMONS BLADE. I have known that damnable fox for her entire life; the destruction that it caused today is not in its nature, have the toad look into any Uchiha with the mangekyou, especially if they lost an eye at some point unless the clan has changed back to the ways of Madara it would be a single person with eyes like Madara or perhaps Madara's old eyes." Then the man faded back into shadows, just as the ANBU began to wake up.

Seeing the Sandaime unharmed, the squad captain let out a breath and asked, "Sir? What the fuck just happened?"

"That Captain Tora was your first meeting with the man referenced on the first page of the ANBU training manual, Uzumaki Thanatos. Or at least one of his shadows, apparently the injuries sustained at the battle of Uzushiogakure have not healed completely, I suppose that's not surprising considering he had to regrow an entire body."

"What do you mean?"

"After the battle was over, the only part of him that was intact was his left eye. The rest of his body was destroyed by a last-second bijuu bomb. After fighting 100,000 soldiers for three days, he only had enough chakra to banish the beast." Sarutobi paused, taking a drag off his pipe thinking for a moment before he continued, "Tora, you, Inu and Neko will be in charge of the boy's security, any person seeking to harm this child is to be executed immediately whether they be a vagabond or the daimyo himself. If any harm comes to this boy, that man will kill the responsible party in an extravagantly brutal and painful fashion, including the people responsible for his protection."

Ten Years Later

A redhead youth ran through the streets, chased by a mob bearing down upon him now that his protection was gone. The ANBU unit that usually protected the child had been called away to Sunagakure under an order of the Hokage, who had left for the village three days prior, or at least that is what they believed had happened. In truth, someone had forged the Hokage seal to draw them away so that the villagers could take out their "justified revenge upon the demon brat" (read: allow Danzo to turn the boy into an emotionless tool), but he was not truly alone for a man had finally healed and had overseen the events while trying to understand his descendent and knew who was to blame.

As he ran, the boy did not see the shadows coalesce into a solid form until that form picked him up and spoke in a soft voice, "worry not, child of the Uzumaki for the first of your kin walks. The land once more." The mob cheered, thinking one of their numbers had caught the boy; they died with that delusion, and the man and child disappeared from their dying gazes only to reappear at Naruto's apartment. The boy never saw the blade be drawn or the corpses fall when the man saved him even though he was facing the mob.

Sunagakure Later that Night

The two ANBU who were supposed to be on Naruto's guard duty stared into the aged eyes of their leader and saw the panic in them. They realized that they had been played; the man before them had not summoned them, but how did someone get ahold of the personal seal that was on their orders to get to Suna immediately? "Return immediately to Konoha. Arrest the elders and both councils... and whoever had access to my office in the past six months. Send them all to Ibiki; the elders, especially Danzo, are to be questioned first and by any means necessary. If they resist, then have Inoichi break into their minds even if it means rendering them into vegetables. Inu you are to track down and ensure Naruto's safety tonight personally is the tenth." Came out the barked orders from the Hokage only to be interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Lord Hokage, a messenger bird, has arrived from Konoha Priority Red." Came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. Tora, wasting no time, opened the door, took the scroll and handed it to the elderly man.

Reading the scroll Sarutobi Hiruzen, The Professor. The man who had led his village for nearly fifty years spoke a single sentence, "Fuck, Thanatos returned tonight in person." Throwing the scroll on the table in front of him. taking a seat once more and letting out a sigh continued speaking, "slight change of plans, all five of us leave immediately a mob attacked Naruto while the watched from the shadows, fifty villagers and shinobi were killed the one survivor didn't know what happened, one instant he was running with the mob and the next headless corpses and heads surrounded him on spikes attached to the surrounding buildings." Looking to the door where the runner was still standing, he spoke again, "Lad, apologize to Rasa-San for me and tell him that I had to leave because The Shodai Uzukage has returned, he will know what you mean by that. Tora, you are the fastest so pack everything and seal it away, then catch up to us when you can."

In Konoha the next day

Naruto woke up in a panicked state, which considering the last thing he could remember was to be expected, he noticed something strange after a moment. He was in his apartment, not any of the other places he expected to be like the hospital... again. Then he heard a growling voice from the kitchen. "What in the nine hells do you mean, Kurama? I left strict instructions that he was to be told about you and his clan as well as myself since I couldn't be here until now."

A powerful feminine voice replied to the growl, "The old man is weak; he never spoke a word to Naruto about anything, even denying knowing who his parents are though that is probably for the best since he is an Uzumaki with his mother's temperament. I would have helped train him, but you saw how tight I was bound; he would have had to find me, but since this village hates him with few exceptions, that probably wouldn't have happened until he drained his reserves and needed more to survive since I doubt he'll be taught to meditate."

"Damn them all; once he stops eavesdropping, we will eat and make decisions about his training. I sense the old man coming back; he should be in the village about three hours from now, so come one out and eat so I can introduce myself blood of my blood," with that statement, the door opened seemingly of its own accord since the two "people" sitting at his table eating...RAMEN 'THEY WERE EATING RAMEN WITHOUT ME' with that thought he was at the table eating all of the delicious Kami given food without a second thought, after about half an hour he realized that even though he had eaten at least his own body weight in noodles, the bowl had never gone below half empty. He looked up to see the two chucklings and the man handing the woman some packs of poke.

The woman spoke up first, seeing the confusion in the boys face, "Naru-Kun, before we explain the never-ending ramen, let us introduce ourselves. I am Kurama, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, don't panic; I'm not going to hurt you if I even thought about hurting you. That man would know and seal me someplace far less pleasant than you since that's where I've been since your birth. I don't want to explain the full story multiple times; just know that I did not attack the village of my own will. I like children, pranks and poke sticks, I dislike arrogance, the Uchiha clan and being stuck in that seal on you, but we can change it to something more pleasant than the sewer it is now. My hobbies are napping, sleeping and resting". Naruto looked confused at the whole thing and then noticed something that made him believe her statement she had fox ears and nine fluffy tails sticking out of her kimono.

"Stroking her tails will only get her ...excited in a way you're too young to deal with." Seeing them both blush, he continued, "I am Uzumaki Thanatos; I am one of the few being old enough to remember why the nine bijuu were created; in truth, it was my skill with seals that allowed the sage to handle that situation. You are my many time's great-grandsons and the heir to the title of Uzukage just as your mother was; I would have been here to raise you, but I was in a seal to repair my body, for all intents and purposes I am immortal but I can be injured. Thirty years ago, at the start of the third war Uzushiogakure, the home of our clan, was attacked by multiple villages. I know three of the five major villages were there; Kiri Iwa and Kumo, Kiri brought their bijuu both the three and the five tails and Kumo brought the two tails near the end of the battle after I had killed the majority of the shinobi they released all three of the Jinchurikki, that is the term used for people who have a tailed beast sealed inside them, and they all released bijuu bombs towards me at once. I managed to disperse all three bijuu, but I couldn't avoid that blast.

On the night you were born, your father, the Yondaime, summoned the Shinigami to seal Kurama into you; as an Uzumaki, you are one of the few people with a body strong enough to contain her there are a few others that have shown up over the years like that brat Senju Hashirama. Knowing you were the only viable option to stop the rampaging bijuu Kushina-Chan, your mother sent me a message through an old communication seal I gave her, and I sent a shadow clone here to speak with Hiruzen. He was to tell you all of this except the identity of your father for obvious reasons. Do you have any questions?"

"Is Kurama the reason the village hates me?"

"They are fools. They think you ARE the Kyuubi, not her jailer. They think she is a demon. They do not understand the difference between the scroll and the kunai sealed within. However, the message I sent last night should be taken note of now come, stand behind me and Kurama-Chan we have company."

As Naruto got entirely behind the redhead, his door was kicked open by someone yelling, "By order of the council, you are to come with me. Failure to comply will result in your immediate execution demon." The man entered the apartment with tanto in hand and a blank ANBU mask; if he were still capable of feeling, he would have been surprised by his tanto being in his heart.

Thanatos sighed at that it was far too easy to kill that ANBU Konoha needed to step up their game. Badly. "Well, sorry about the mess Naruto but if it's any consolation, you won't be living here anymore. Let's go mess with the council; Kurama eyes out this one are like the ones I was talking about; it's insulting to call these things human." And the three walked to the council chambers; it had been three hours since Naruto had woken up by the time they got there. With Thanatos carrying the dead ANBU on his shoulder.

As they entered the chambers, one of the civilian councillors with pink hair shrieked, "THAT DEMON KILLED ANOTHER PERSON SOMEONE KILL IT NOW BEFORE IT CAN HARM ANYONE ELSE!"

Knowing what was about to happen, Kurama began laughing, an act that confused the council. Then they felt it. All of them were paralyzed by fear, not the fear of death as the shinobi in presence were stricken by it as well; it was more potent than the miasma of power and KI the night of the Kyuubi attack. It was the feeling one would get if they insulted the Shinigami to her face. Still, it was not the God of the dead but the Demon Reaper himself, the consort of the Shinigami; they realized too late who the man in black was as he spoke reminiscently of the flames of hell, "Who gave you permission to call for the death of the blood of my blood banshee? You are not the Shinigami. You call for the death of an innocent child who has never harmed a soul; that mob last night was chasing him with the intent to kill him, and a few planned to rape him. According to Jashin, all fifty of their souls are now with that demented little girl suffering her...hospitality. This trash, however, "gesturing to the corpse in the centre of the room, "his soul is damaged and tainted. Who is responsible?" Stroking his beard, he looked around the room, letting his eyes fall upon a man with one eye and an arm covered in bandages, "The remains of that corpses loyalty seal point to you boy, and you can stop trying to use that Sharingan on me. My own dojutsu protects me from it."

The man in question felt the pressure reduce to the point he could speak and decided to comply with the ancient demon before him. "That man is one of my personal guard's leftovers from an experiment I conducted trying to make our shinobi more effective, but Hiruzen cancelled the program." hoping he was wrong about the man's identity, he continued, "Just to confirm your identity would you give your name for the record?"

"Uzumaki Thanatos, The Demon Reaper and consort of the Shinigami. Patriarch of the Uzumaki Clan, from which the Nara clan came from," turning to the position of the Nara Clan Seat, he glared and told the man, "we will be having a discussion about my heir's treatment. Now that the business of punishing Naruto here has been handled, is there any other business that needs to be handled Hiruzen-bō?" And as he finished speaking, the council members were all released from the effects of the mans KI and Sandaime walked in the door.

"Yes, in fact, shortly before you sent the message about your heroics last night, I learned that someone forged orders to get the ANBU guarding Naruto-kun to get to Suna and attend me immediately. Do you have some way of forcing the person who did this to admit it?" Came the calm reply from the Kami no Shinobi while staring at the man he suspected the most.

"Yes. I will have to interview the accused one at a time, but I see we both suspect the same person. How did he manage to get eleven of those accursed Sharingan?"

"What?"

"He has a Sharingan implanted in his right eye and ten more in that wooden arm." Now thoroughly interested in the man, he tapped his foot, creating a seal in front of him, "Boy, come down here and stand in the centre of the seal" once he was in the seal, it began glowing red before changing into a black cage, "you are now within the bounds of Amaterasu's Judgment should you lie within the bounds of this cage your soul shall be burned from your body. Do you understand?" Receiving a nod, Thanatos continued, "What is your name?"

"Shimura Danzo"

"Are you responsible for the attack on Uzumaki Naruto last night?"

"Yes"

"Do you have any conspira...gah" looking down, Thanatos saw that a ROOT ANBU had stabbed him through his heart, looked up at Danzo and growled before reaching behind himself to grab his assailants head and pulled. Not even the most seasoned shinobi had seen what happened next before this moment; He ripped the man's head and spine out of his body in one piece; even Thanatos was visibly surprised because that was not supposed to happen. "What the actual fuck? I've seen the top part of the sine do that, but only one, maybe two bones. Not once in more than ten thousand years have I seen the whole fucking spine come out like that, even fighting demons that don't happen. Now Danzo, answer my fucking question or I can just torture you for fun after I interrogate everyone else, and don't think that cyanide pill will kill you; my lover will keep you alive until I'm satisfied with your punishment."

Danzō gulped the first two answers just flowed from his mouth, and now he knew he was absolutely and utterly fucked; his agent's actions screwed him up the ass with an unlubed pitchfork. He wasn't afraid of death, but this monster was another story if even a tenth of the stories about him were true... "yes, the entire civilian council was complicit in my plan."

"How did you obtain the Sharingan?"

"After Itachi killed the clan, I harvested their eyes and implanted them in my arm; the one in my eye was taken from Shisui after I killed him."

"Hiruzen, by his own admission, he has committed multiple acts of treason bow shall he be executed?"

"Full assembly, one hour. ANBU bind the civilian council and my advisors. Tora, build a large enough pyre in front of my tower to burn them all alive. "

That statement caused an eruption of chaos since Thanatos had gotten bored of keeping the weaklings paralyzed in fear. Naturally, they all started screaming things like "you can't do this", "I'm innocent", and "the Kyuubi has taken control of the Hokage! Kill the demon" their outburst was silenced by a door appearing in the middle of the room opening up to reveal some familiar faces, three of which were carved into stone overlooking the village. Two more fiery redheads with chains forming from their backs and a short woman with black hair and lavender eyes. The growling voice of the morning's interrogation specialist softened as he greeted them. "Rukia-Chan, thank you for escorting my guests here; you can spend the day shopping with my accounts; I do recommend Ichiraku Ramen." Bowing in acknowledgement of his order, she left to go chapped shopping, "Mito-Chan Kushina-Chan, Hashirama-San, Tobirama-San, Minato-San welcome back to Konoha and the land of the living even if it is only temporary for now. I want to introduce you to one Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, the current heir of the title of Uzukae, and the woman standing behind him is someone you have all met before, Kurama the Kyuubi no Kitsune."

At that moment, everyone in the room froze except those temporarily brought back to life and Naruto, who was being doted on by his parents, and thus oblivious. Hiruzen was the first to come back to his senses. "WHAT THE KYUUBI IS OUT OF THE SEAL HOW! IS NARUTO GOING TO DIE?"

"No, you senile old fool, this body is just the bijuu equivalent of a blood clone. And besides, it's not like I've ever attacked Konoha of my own will, the first time that bastard Madara took control of me but the second time... it felt like Madara, but Minato was able to drive. Him off far too easily."

Minato, who was only kind of paying attention, spoke up when he heard his name, "Sadly I have to agree on that point plus according to Shinigami-sama, he died nearly twenty years ago. Whatever he was doing up here was shielded from her view, which has her concerned since that means he was immortal from the time between Hashirama-San nearly killing him and when he actually died."

Thanatos cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention, "We can discuss this all in private later, we have traitors to kill right now, and something ancient is watching us." Punctuating the last bit with a thrown knife piercing into a white creature that turned into the wood after being stabbed through the head. "That's odd. I thought that pest was sealed away."

In front of the Hokage tower, Hashirama and Tenno constructed a pyre using Mokuton, drenched with oil from Gamabunta, who Minato had summoned, Hiruzen called a general assembly of the village, ordering at least one adult from each household to attend. "Villagers of Konoha," he began, "it has come to my attention with indisputable evidence that the entire civilian council and the elders are guilty of corruption, revealing an S-Rank secret and child abuse, the cold in question being Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto. Son of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato. By the grace of Shinigami-sama, five people have been returned to life for a time, they would like to have words with you, but first, it is time to execute the traitors." With that last sentence, eight people appeared, the first appearing atop a wave, the next two upon a giant beanstalk, then a group of three in a yellow flash, the final two appeared in a massive tornado of shadow and flame, bringing with them the physical force of fear more terrifying than what had been felt when the Kyuubi attacked.

The man who appeared in the tornado stepped forward, and he spoke in a voice as clear as crystal. "For the crime of assaulting MY heir, the heir of Uzumaki who will now become my personal apprentice and heir to all skills of my blood I Uzumaki Thanatos the first Uzukage, First Consort of Shinigami-sama, Reaper of Demons, Shadow of Death, holder of a thousand, thousand names do sentence those within the pyre to death. DEMON HUNTING RELEASE: SOUL BURN." the technique he used released a five hundred foot tall tower of black and white flames designed to destroy the essence of existence within the area. When he stopped the technique, a fifty-meter circle was missing fifty feet down; not even ashes remained. "People of Konoha, there are now several people who wish to speak to you. I think you know all of them and have already pieced together who has been restored to life temporarily. Shodaime Hokage Senju Hashirama and his wife Senju-Uzumaki Mito the first Jinchūriki of Kurama-Chan, Nidaime Senju Tobirama, Yondaime Namikaze Minato and his wife Namikaze-Uzumaki Kushina, the parents of Naruto. Finally, the Kyuubi no Kitsune herself, Kurama, daughter of Ototsuki Hagoromo the Rikkudo Sennin."