Not sure what I'm doing with this. I've been in an Evangelion mood as of late, rewatching the series and reading some quality fanfics. I wanted to write something of my own. I wrote an Eva fanfic years ago that wasn't very good, and despite this being meh, I'd say that it's world's better than my first attempt. Maybe I'll write more in the future, but for now enjoy, and leave a review. Tell me what's good and what's not so good.


Where are you?

Today was the best and worst day of my life. When it began I was happier than I can ever remember being, but when everything came to a harsh and unfair conclusion I felt like the most mistreated unluckiest person in existence.

Today I learned that Mama has been with me all this time. Even when I didn't know it, she had been right by my side. Watching me, protecting me, as a mother should. Her soul was inside my Unit-02, nothing could bring me down. Or so I thought as I rose out of the lake and proceeded to decimate the JSSDF forces. They stood absolutely no chance against me, not when Mama was fighting alongside me.

The arrival of the Eva Series did little to hinder my confidence. I was the best Eva Pilot, Mama was with me, and Baka-Shinji was on his way. There was no way this day would end in failure. With a savage grin I pictured Shinji's face upon arriving to see that I had defeated all nine Evas. That image remained in the back of my mind as I ruthlessly tore the fish face bastards to shreds.

As my timer continued to descend unhindered It dawned on me that Shinji was still nowhere to be seen. Even if there was only one Eva left I couldn't help but be disappointed that he had yet to arrive to help me. I pushed those bitter feelings away. I didn't need him to beat these freaks, I was and always had been the best. Though it wouldn't have hurt if he'd at least show up.

Desperately I tried to finish off the last MP Eva. I needed it to be dead in the next twenty seconds or I would be a sitting duck. I had this fight in the bag, my arm had pierced its chest and the creature struggled in pain as I continued to drain it.

My timer was nearing single digits when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. One of the bladed weapons the MP Evas had previously been using was flying towards me. Where did that come from!? Who threw it!? I didn't even have time to ponder as I turned to block it. My AT-Field held it in place, protecting me. I felt my breath hitch as the weapon slowly shifted into a familiar lance I had only seen once.

"The Lance of Longinus?" My throat closed as the weapon suddenly pierced my AT-Field and Unit-02's left eyes. Instantly I reared back as the sensation of having my eye destroyed assaulted me, followed quickly by my actual left eye exploding in a shower of blood. My shrieks of unmeasurable pain accompanied Unit-02 powering down as it was pinned to the ground by the lance.

The control joints clicked uselessly as I wailed and begged Unit-02, Mama, to move. To get back up and fight. There was no response. What followed was the sharp claws and teeth as those grinning Evas got back up and began feasting on Unit-02, Mama and me, like vultures. Armor was pried open like an eggshell, innards pulled out and devoured.

It hurts! It hurts so much! Mama! Get back up, please! Where is that idiot!? Where are you Shinji?! Why aren't you here?! I'm...I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I don't want to die. I'm going to kill them.

I could see them circling above me now. Teeth clenched I glared up at the nine vultures. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" Reaching towards the sky I kept uttering these words as Mama reacted to my desires. With the last of its strength Unit-02 mimicked my movements as we both tried to escape the awful fate that awaited us. Even as I kept struggling I had the faintest hope that maybe, just maybe I wouldn't die.

That idiot. Where is he? Why hadn't he shown up to fight alongside me? Why isn't he here to save me, like he's done in the past? In that moment I desperately wanted to see him. I needed the boy who leapt headfirst into a volcano against orders to rescue me, the one who came back after he quit Eva to stop the 14th Angel. Even if personally he's failed me in the past, there were still instances, when it really mattered, that he didn't let me die. I held onto that feeble hope that he'd show up to save me at the last second like the big stupid show off he was. I needed him to.

When the spear came down to split my arm in half I didn't cry out in pain. In fact I was certain that I died. I didn't feel the other projectiles rain down on my body, but I felt the presence that once resided in Unit-02 fade. I felt cold and I cried.

Mama? Mama?! Where are you Mama?! Please come back! Please let me go with you! I don't want to be alone! I hate being alone! It's not fair! Mama! It hurts so much!

As my consciousness slipped I heard it. A horrified heart-wrenching scream that could only belong to one person.

You finally showed up, Baka? You're a little late, but at least you came...give them hell for me...

I should have died by now. I should be dead, but I'm stubborn. Even when I really don't want to be, I'm still alive. It hurts so much and I want to see Mama again. How long has it been since I heard Shinji scream? A minute? An hour? I don't know.

Suddenly I'm no longer alone. There's someone here in the darkened entry plug. Someone who I don't care to see. "Wh-Why are you here?" I can barely croak out. My voice is hoarse from screaming, weak from my injuries.

The First Child looks at me with that stupid detached face again. I can't stand her. My lone eye blinks and suddenly someone else is here. Despite everything I'm actually happy to see that face. "B-Baka...took your sweet time..." I weakly accuse. I don't even have the energy to be angry.

He looks apologetic. "I'm sorry, Asuka." Shinji says and for once I can't even bother to be annoyed with his stupid apologies.

I say nothing as he moves over to me. His dark blue eyes taking in my ruined appearance. My body is littered with numerous wounds and I'm still bleeding out of my left eye socket. I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for the plug suit, my organs would be on full display. Even though I don't want Shinji to see me like this I'm unable to look away from him.

He nears me, I watch as his hand slowly approaches to cup the right side of my face. His touch is warm and soothing, and suddenly my injuries don't feel quite as bad. My breathing quickens slightly as a pair of thin yet firm arms slowly wrap themselves around my body.

Baka, why couldn't you have done this sooner? Why couldn't you have gotten here quicker? I fight back tears as my remaining arm slowly lifts up and pulls him closer to me. "Shinji..." I whisper as sweetly as I can before he pulls back slightly. My heart threatens to break out of my chest as his face nears mine. My eyelids gently close and I wait for him, and for once he doesn't disappoint. He kisses me.

His lips are as pleasant as I remember them being from our first kiss. I wish that kiss could have been more like this. Maybe if it had things would have played out differently between us. Maybe there could have been less pain and suffering. For a short moment I feel at peace. With those thoughts my mind goes blank and I burst into LCL.

Suddenly I'm not at peace anymore.


Hope you all enjoyed that. Maybe Asuka's a little OoC, but I don't know. I feel like in regards to Shinji before joining instrumentality she'd want to see him and would be happy at him showing her affection. I'm satisfied with this one-shot. The last scene in this was inspired by a line in Asuka in the Bardo by HologramTheatre where Asuka claimed that she saw Shinji when everyone turned into LCL. By the way those who haven't read that story, totally check it out. Fantastic fanfic that feels very in line with NGE and is just overall well written and thought provoking.