Title: Toast

Author: Ted Sadler


Rating: G

Archive: SJD Yes

Summary: Secrets of the breakfast table

Spoilers: None

Status: complete

All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Copyright © 2003 Ted Sadler



"I saw you." said Janet Fraiser furtively, as she and Sam sat together in the mess hall with their Danish and coffee.

"What?" replied her friend, looking up from her eagerly anticipated cake. "Saw me where? And when?"

"Saturday morning, 06:10 outside the Colonel's house. I was driving past on the way here." replied Janet, her trademark stare across the top of her coffee cup adding to Sam's sudden discomfort.

"Ah." said Sam quietly, looking anywhere but back at Janet's limpid, hypnotic gaze. "Er, yes. I was out running, and got caught in the downpour. It was all Ja... The Colonel's fault anyway."

"How so?" asked Janet, her eyebrows raising, her mock stare revealing her obvious delight in the torture she thought she could inflict on the Major.

"Long story." replied Sam, shifting uneasily in her seat.

"Oh, but it's a strange Wednesday. I've no urgent cases and can spare the time." The penetrating stare continued.

Sam sighed, realizing that the only person she could confide in was dictating her next actions. She took another deep breath. "Janet, you know this goes no further, don't you? And I mean not Cassie, not Daniel, not Teal'c, nor any other soul in this universe, living, ascended, descended, cloned, reborn or otherwise?"

Janet nodded and smiled. This was going to be exquisite. "Cross my heart. Guide's honour. Now spill!"

"The Colonel.."

"His name's Jack, Sam. If you're not calling him that by now, there's something seriously wrong."

Another sigh. "Jack gave me an unusual present, to say the very least. He said it was the most useful and rewarding piece of technology of the whole 21st century. He ordered it from England after he found it on the Internet."


"It's an Internet Toaster." Sam paused as she watched the expected furrows forming in Janet's brow, and cut off her obvious question. "A student invented it. You plug it in, and it connects to the Internet to get the weather forecast. Then it slides a filter in place so that when the toast pops up, there's a symbol on the side - sunny, cloudy or rain! It's really cute."

After a few moments silence, Janet had taken in this vital information. "So how come you looked like a drowned rat when I saw you run up the Colonel's drive and pound on his door?"

"It tuned in to the Internet OK, and I guess the weather was just fine in London. Unfortunately, Colorado Springs is a little outside the normal forecast zone for the BBC. I didn't realize until Sunday that I've got to re-tune where it picks up the forecast from. I was running near Jack's on Saturday morning when the skies opened, so I thought I'd give him a piece of my mind about it's accuracy."

"Sam, when I said I *saw* you, I mean I really *saw* you, as in you and Jack both. You didn't see me, that's for sure, but I stopped in the road in case you wanted a lift in the rain. And that was one heck of a 'piece of mind' you gave him. Like, total surrender, all delivered in body language, by the look of it? I could see the steam rising from the two of you!"

"Well, see, I really did intend to complain, but when he opened the door just wearing his tee-shirt and shorts, we kind of just looked at each other and I couldn't speak. Seems he couldn't either, and try as I might, I can't remember him actually starting to kiss me, only that nothing else in the world mattered right then."


"He spreads honey when it's cloudy and peanut butter when it's sunny. We're having soup with croutons tonight."


Author's note: seeing is believing. Do a web search on "Internet Toaster".