Much of this has been thought of by Cor Mortiferum! Thanks!

Athena and Artemis's Odyssey.

Athena and Artemis were hiding behind a pillar on Olympus. Why, you may ask? Eros, god of Love, was trying to shoot them with his Arrows.

"Leave us alone, you vile spawn!" yelled Artemis.

"Never! You shall feel the wrath of Eros!" The god retorted, firing more arrows.

Artemis rolled her eyes "Aphrodite probably put him up to it." She groaned, as an arrow bounced off the ground next to her.

"We better tell dad. Split!" Yelled Athena, rushing one way while Artemis rushed the other.

Eros stood confused for a few seconds, his pink shoulder-length hair flapping in the wind.

Eventually, he chose Athena, as she wasn't as fast as Artemis. He shot three arrows at her. One bounced off her shield, one nicked her helmet, and another narrowly missed her heart. She ran on as Eros continually fired arrows at her.

Athena ran towards Eros, blocking arrows with her Aegis.

Eros flew up and made a swift landing behind the goddess. He was about to shoot when...


Eros slowly, slowly turned around, to see Zeus, who looked a bit more livid than usual.

"H-hey, c-cousin." He stuttered.


Artemis stood beside Zeus and her twin brother Apollo, who looked equally furious.

"Well-" Began Eros, but he didn't get to finish his sentence. Zeus threw a lightning Bolt at him, and that was the end of that.


Eros winced as Aphrodite bandaged his burns.

"Those blasted virgins..." Eros muttered "Who do they think they are, refusing love?"

"Don't worry dear, I'll make sure they pay." Aphrodite consoled him.

"Thanks, mum."


Athena donned a blue jacket and a yellow t-shirt, as well as black trousers as she prepared to go down to the mortal world to grab a bite with Artemis. It had been a trying morning, what with Eros trying to shoot them.

As she got into her chariot and took off, some force blew her off course.

She was about to use her divine powers when something hit her on the head and everything went dark.


Athena groaned as she opened her eyes. As she got up, she realised she was on a beach.

She looked around, and saw Artemis sitting on a rock and plucking her bowstring. She was wearing a black eather jacket, a white t-shirt, and joggers.

"Hey sis." She greeted.

"Artemis? What happened?" Asked Athena.

"Well, I was riding my chariot, I was blown of course, and I woke up here without any powers." She replied "I think we've been turned mortal."

Athena groaned "Not again."

Artemis shrugged "Ah well. We may be on a possibly uncharted and uninhabited island, but at least I can hunt for our food, and you can make blankets and tents."

"Good point."

Suddenly, the sound of huge footsteps came from behind the trees.

The two looked at each other, and ran to investigate.

As they poked their heads out of the foliage, they saw giants with one eye in the centre of their foreheads.

"Cyclopes." Whispered Athena.

One of the cyclopes was yelling about something.

"I tell you, if I ever see Odysseus, or any of his patrons, I'm gonna..."

He turned around and gave an angry roar.

Athena gulped. The Cyclopes' eye was long since gouged out.

"Um... sis? That's Polyphemus. Odysseus, who I supported, gouged out his eye."

"Wonderful." Muttered Artemis, drawing her bow.

As Athena was about to suggest they go back to the beach, heavy hands grabbed them as if they were chocolate bars.

A tall cyclopes was restraining them with one hand each. They tried to struggle, but they didn't have Their divine strength anymore.

What Athena did have, however, was a free arm. And her sword. She stabbed the giant in the arm, and he let them go, bellowing in agony.

The other cyclopes, hearing the cry of their fellow, rushed over. The pair quickly ran to some nearby foliage, where they hid.

Artemis looked furious "I don't know how you and Apollo managed it!"

"Cheer up. At least we still have our weapons and fighting skill."


"Who're you?" Demanded Polyphemus, shaking his fist.

"I'm Anuvverciklops, and this is my friend who is also called Anuvverciklops." Replied Athena, thinking quickly.

Polyphemus laughed as he tried to grab them, but Artemis shot an arrow at him.

He roared in agony as he stumbled back, his face going pale as he tore the arrow out of his arm.

The cyclopes ran towards him.

"Who did this to you brother? By our father Poseidon, we swear to take revenge!" cried one cyclops.

"It was Annuverciklops." Groaned Polythemus, just before he broke out in spots and found himself unable to speak.

The Cyclopes blinked.

"Another Cyclopes?" Thundered the brother who had asked who it was.

"I bet it was Larry!"

"No! It must have been Steve!"

"I bet it was you, Jim!"

As the Cyclopes broke out into fights, the goddesses slipped away, and began making a raft.

"Smart thinking, sis." Smiled Artemis.

"You deserve half the credit for using a plague arrow." Replied the goddess of Wisdom.

By the time dawn broke, and the sounds of fighting had long since gone, the two had made a rather decent raft.

"C'mon. Let's get this thing into the water." Whispered Athena, as she got behind it.


A few hours later, Artemis was lying on the raft, bored, as the raft sailed across the water.

"Okay... so where are we?" Asked Artemis.

"That was Sicily." Explained Athena "Those cyclopes are probably bandits. I've heard of that. We'd better go north, since we're on in Italian waters."

As they moved up the italian coast, Artemis's stomach began to rumble, so they agreed to go ashore to get some food.

As they docked, the sun began to rise and Athena noticed a truck that sold bacon that was opening up. A sign on it read 'Divine bacon.'

"Let's go there." She motioned. Artemis agreed, and they went up and knocked on the side of it.

A young woman with chalk-coloured skin and reddish hair poked her head out of the side of the back "Athena?"

"Circe!" Athena gasped "I haven't seen you since the middle ages! What are you doing out here?"

Circe chuckled "We haven't always seen eye to eye, Athena, but I'll tell you, and give you some bacon to boot."

Athena gave her a look.

"It's not from humans I turned into pigs!" Circe put her hands up "I swear!"

She put some bacon onto the fryer, and began her story.

"You see, dears, after The First world war, some British shells accidentally destroyed my island home. I decided to move to Italy, where I set up a bacon business. Turns out it's easier to turn drops of water into cold bacon, did you know that?" She asked.

"I don't dabble in magic, so no." Replied Athena, bluntly.

"Well, either way, I've managed to set up a business and haven't met a hero in centuries." Circe smiled. The last hero she met hadn't exactly been one she got on with.

She put the bacon on a plate, and served it to them.

"Can you get us back to Olympus?" Asked Athena.

"Sure." Smiled Circe "I give you my word."

Athena and Artemis speared a piece of bacon each and ate them.

"Well, all's well that ends-" Began Athena, just before she turned into a piece of Bacon. A second Later, Artemis did likewise.

Circe smirked "I did say you were going to Olympus, didn't I? Well, I say you will..."


The next evening, the Olympians plus a few others sat down for Dinner.

"Hey, I wonder where Artemis and Apollo are?" Wondered Zeus.

"The longer that stupid bookworm is gone, the better, I say." Grumbled Poseidon.

"Shut it you." Grumbled Zeus, giving him a glare.

"That's enough dear." Sighed Hera, giving Zeus a glare of her own.

Suddenly, a crow carrying a plate flew in, transforming into Circe.

"Oh! What a pleasant surprise!" Smiled Persephone, who had recently returned from the underworld.

"Ladies and gentlegods!" Announced Circe "I give you some DIVINE bacon!" she placed it in front of Zeus, and then turned into a crow again, flying out.

Everyone blinked.

"Is it made from pigs that were human?" Asked Zeus, poking it with his fork.

"No, she gave that up after the Odyssey business." Replied Aphrodite.

"Oh. In that case..." Zeus licked his lips, and grabbed his fork.

Apollo grabbed his wrist "Wait!" He sniffed one rasher "I'd recognise that smell anywhere! It's dung! Artemis uses it to disguise her scent from prey!"

Everyone gasped.

Zeus pointed a finger at the rashers, and they turned into Artemis and Athena, who both looked rather pale.

"You two alright?" Asked Apollo.

"WE ALMOST GOT EATEN! OF COURSE WE'RE NOT ALRIGHT!" Yelled Artemis, colour returning to her face. With that, she rushed out of the room as the speed of a comet. She returned five seconds later with a bruised and beaten Circe.

"I confess everything! Aphrodite and Eros put me up to it!" Cried Circe "They gave me a golden apple from Eris in exchange for turning them mortal with magic, and then getting them eaten!"

Zeus glowered at the three of them.

"Hermes, fetch Eris. Poseidon, send these three to the Augean stables!" He thundered "They are to clean them up!"

The wings on Hermes' sandals began flapping, and with a shimmer, Hermes was gone, faster than the speed of light. Poseidon grabbed the three and carried the protesting trio out of there."

Zeus smirked. He would deal with Eris later. He would also ensure Aphrodite, Eros, and Circe all became mortals for a time when they were finished.

Artemis and Athena staggered out. They were gonna go to bed.

And boy, would Zeus ensure Hypnos gave them good dreams.


Yeah, this ended up really different than Cor Mortiferum's plan turned out, but I think it's a good fanfic all the same.

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