It's the chapter. Season 1 Episode 22. THE Ratchet episode. Hold on to your hats kiddos, 'cause it's about to get... synthy.

Also Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! As a Christmas miracle, I have uploaded a chapter for you. I didn't realise how long it had been since I last updated, eesh.

So I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 20 - "Harder Better Faster Stronger"

by Daft Punk

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When Dad first asked us about proposing to Jen, I had to admit: I was worried. Despite Jen being a pretty prominent presence in our lives for a while now, the thought of having another person living with us after so long felt… wrong, almost. What if she had terrible hygiene habits? (She didn't, of course; Jen actually had a small addiction for things like bath bombs and bath salts, and her house was usually pretty clean whenever we visited). What if she tried to replace Mom? (She wouldn't, and I knew that now, but the irrational fear still demanded attention even after all this time. Mom would always be, well, my mom). And while that had always been my biggest reason to not like her when she'd started dating my Dad, now… what if she didn't like living with us? What if she decided we weren't what she wanted and she left? After hanging around with us for the past 2 years I knew - hoped - that she (probably) wouldn't but it wasn't until after the first full week of her having settled in that I felt that doubt begin to disappear.

It was nice to have Jen at home.

It was starting to feel right.

"By guys, I'm heading to robotics club!" I yelled out as I swung around the hallway arch.

Lily shouted back from her room, and Jen stood up as I passed through the lounge room. "Oh, Carmen, your Dad and I were thinking of doing Chicken Burgers for dinner tonight, is that ok?"

I paused. "Oh, uh, chicken burgers would be amazing." I replied, double checking my bag before wrenching the door open. "Looking forward to it! See ya!"

Yeah, feels right but still gonna take a while to get used to it.

Dashing over to the car parked out front, I hopped in the backseat with a smile. "Hey, thanks again for the lift, Bee." Happy chirps answered me and I looked to Raf on my left. "How've you guys been? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"We're good, Bee and I found this new game called 'Danger Dance'! It's DDR meets street fighter!" A disk popped out of Bumblebee's stereo and Raf lifted it up to show me the disc. Huh, that looks like a pretty accurate description actually. "We could play it once we get to base if you want?"

Bee buzzed something and I laughed when Raf told me he was trash talking us. "Oh, you two are on!" We spent the rest of the drive catching up on other things and after pulling up at base, Optimus called Bee away so we wandered up the platform to see what Ratchet was doing instead. My guardian was peering into a microscope and I leant over the railing to try and see what he was looking at. The neon-green liquid seemed to glow almost.

"Hmm… surprisingly stable."

"Whatcha doooing~?" I sang after Raf had called out to him.

As said boy sat down, his face lit up. "Is that synthetic energon?"

"Yes, in fact I'm preparing to test a sample." Ratchet's optics lifted from the device to give a pointed look. "I see that you've come equipped with protective goggles?"

Raf beamed like a kid on Christmas. "I can watch?"

I put a hand on my heart and scoffed jokingly. "Making me jealous here."

Ratchet chuckled at the two of us. "You're fine, Carmen. Now watch. We just add some to this test engine..." He injected a canister filled to the brim with the synthetic energon into a metal contraption below him. It lit up green along its accent lights and I bounced in excitement as it turned on with a hiss. Raf hopped down to get a closer look at the moving parts.

"It works!" He turned to call out for his guardian to come see but Ratchet cut him off.

"Ehp ehp ehp! Thisiteration of the formula requires further trial before we can even think of using it for fuel, ammunition, or first aid…" Ratchet admonished, grim reservation etching his face. "Which is rather unfortunate since our energon reserves are at an all time low. Our severely outnumbered warriors have been rapidly burning through our stockpile of late as the Decepticon army continues to run us ragged and grind us down." His gaze was distant as I stared across at him, mood thoroughly dampened. He shook his head. "Natural energon is in such short supply on your planet, and Megatron seems to have his oily claws buried deep in all the Earth's deposits. But," he raised up the container with reverence "if we can successfully produce a synthetic form, we can manufacture all the energy we'll ever need."

In that moment I could picture it. The Autobots thriving, not having to scavenge and ration like they are now. Maybe the Decepticons would surrender when they couldn't keep up, or maybe they'd leave, who knew. And seeing the hope in Ratchet's optics now, I could imagine it. How proud he would be to know he had done that. Knowing all the good he had caused, he would be happy. And dammit if me and the rest of the team wouldn't be happy for him too.

A warning signal blaring out cut us short and we hurried over to the command console. The large display pictured a map tracking a blue dot. Arcee stepped up to the panel. "More energon on the move."

"Again?" Bulkhead lamented.

Optimus frowned at the screen. "Their recent activity suggests a familiar pattern. The Decepticons are desperately scouting for new deposits to mine. Autobots!-"

"Optimus." The mech in question turned to face Ratchet. The orange and white mech was grieved. "If one of you comes back wounded this time, well… our energon reserves are nearly depleted." My lips pursed and I held onto myself. I knew we were low but I didn't realise it had gotten that bad. I hated thinking of anyone getting hurt as it was and now the stakes couldn't be higher. There was hope though. I can't wait for this synthetic stuff to be ready to use.

Optimus held contact with Ratchet before nodding. His voice was too soft for me to make out what they were saying but it wasn't long until the leader faced the rest of the team again. "Autobots, roll out!" The ground-bridge opened and the four of them raced through. Please let them get this one, please. Shaking my head, I nudged Raf's shoulder.

"Hey, why don't we get that game set up ready for when Bee gets back?" With a put-upon grin, my arm slung over his shoulder to direct him to the hallway. "Come on, let's grab some snacks to start." Crossing through the gaping archway, we chatted idly until we made it to the kitchen. I opened the cupboard and frowned. Throwing a look at Raf, he was pouting too: the cupboards were practically empty. Two small bags of salt and vinegar chips, half a box of cheezits and, I shuddered, burger rings. "What happened to all those snacks I bought?" Going along and opening all the top cupboards, I groaned. "Seriously, nothing?"

"I think Miko's had a couple movie marathons with Bulkhead, and Jack took some stuff yesterday for a class party because he forgot about it and the stores were shut." I let out a sigh. Raf opened the fridge. "But hey, there's soda and those chocolate marshmallow rolls you like." I bustled over to him so fast he jumped, and when I greedily grabbed at the treats and ripped open the packaging he gave me a smile that was way too cheeky for his adorable little face. "You really like those, don't you?" The puffy treat paused mid way to my open mouth as I darted my eyes back to him. We stared each other down until I slowly drew the roll away and closed my near-unhinged jaw to try and regain my dignity. I cleared my throat.

"Yes, yes I do. And I don't appreciate you judging me." He grinned brighter at my fake-hurt and I rolled my eyes, dropping the act. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up. But these choc mini-rolls are the best goddamn thing to ever be created. And I stand by that." Raf laughed at me and we grabbed the few snacks there and made our way back to the main room, making a list of things to restock on as we went. We turned the corner out of the hallways and froze. No. No no no-

"Ratchet!"

Food forgotten as it fell to the floor, I raced over to my guardian's collapsed form, frantically clambering up his chest to look in his optics. A stream of 'no's flew out of me seeing them darkened. "Ratchet, please, come on, this isn't funny. Wake up." My fist hurt as I slammed it down on his chestplate. "Wake up!" He didn't stir. I thumped him again. "Ratchet!... Ratchet, come on, please!" I could hear my heart thudding in my ears as the silence stretched. My face hurt from how it stretched and scrunched up in my despair. "Dammit Ratchet! Please!…" This can't be happening. Everything was fine, he was fine, we were only gone for a few minutes- What even happened?! I can't-

A deep groan rumbled from below me. "How is it that such small beings can be so loud?" I slid down as he sat forward and sighed in relief. Raf reached out to steady me when I landed and we both looked back at the mech now starting to stand up.

"Are you hurt? You fell."

"I'm fine, I'm-" he paused, flexing his fingers and rotating his shoulder. "-more than fine." Opening a panel on his right arm, a laugh startled out of him. "Energy efficiency is up 30%? Motor functions optimal? Ha ha…" I took a glimpse at Raf and he looked equally as puzzled. Ratchet turned grim. Back to normal, I guess... "Any word from the others?" We shook our heads and he grunted, gazing towards the ground-bridge.

I grimaced at him. "What happened, anyway? A simple fall wouldn't knock you out like that." I stepped forward and reached out as a rather distressing thought popped into my head. "...you're not, like, passing out from lack of energon or anything, are you?" After how he'd been talking about their limited reserves- He waved his hand and dismissed the notion, assuring us he was fine but before he could explain himself, Optimus' voice boomed over the comms asking for an emergency ground-bridge for Arcee. Hurrying over to the controls, Raf and I followed along the catwalks as he tapped away.

"I'm locked on. Arcee, decelerate and prepare to return to base."

"Save it Ratchet, I'm too close!"

"Don't be a fool!" he chastised, but Arcee didn't respond. "Arcee?... Arcee!" We stared at the screen, waiting, when an alarm on the screen went off. Ratchet squinted at the information. "She's hurt." Activating the portal he looked to me before settling on Raf. "Man the ground-bridge." And he transformed and sped through before I could even say 'good luck' or goodbye. Raf quickly closed it behind him and we stood there in the silence. It was oddly reminiscent of one of my first days at the base when I'd been left behind while they rescued the other humans. Only this time I had Raf with me.

"I-..." My sentence dropped off, lips pursing before I glanced sideways at my friend. "You can see something's… up with Ratchet, too, right?" The boy nodded and readjusted his glasses on his nose, looking back over to where Ratchet had fallen.

He raised a finger, "Uh, Carmen? Wasn't that the device Ratchet used on the test machine earlier?" A noise of confusion slipped out as I followed his pointing and my eyes bulged. Cracked into shards it may have been, the injector mechanism was still intact by the broken canister. "You don't think…" We shared a look. I let out a strained laugh.

"Ha ha, no." I shook my head and restated firmer: "No. I mean why- why would he? It's Ratchet, he was literally just telling us how it wasn't ready yet. He wouldn't do that, right?" Our eyes tracked back to the floor. My eyebrows drew inward. "...Right, Raf?" No, Ratchet wouldn't risk himself. And again that terrifying notion rose up. But… maybe he would. He said it himself, they're getting desperate- no! My thoughts were interrupted as Optimus called for their return. As Raf typed it into the computer, I stepped over to the railing and worried at the bars. The bots came through with Ratchet leading them. But he wasn't… he wasn't acting like Ratchet.

Raf jogged over to join me and asked in concern, "What happened?"

Bulkhead gestured to the white and orange mech who had stepped away from the others and was sauntering over to us. "I only saw the gory aftermath but I heard the Doc was a one-bot wrecking machine!" I gawped up at my guardian as he came to a stop at the platform, about to ask if Really? You did all that? But had no time but to yelp as he scooped Raf and I up to jostle us in his palms. I swear I was airborne for a second. As soon as he put his hand back down I was staggering off. On autopilot I helped Raf stand up and felt him squeeze my hand in sync with the dropping of my stomach as Ratchet proudly held up his 'secret to success' to the others: a container of 'Synth-En'.

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Soft whirrs vibrated through my body as I leant against Bee's head. I was sitting on his left shoulder as he and Arcee walked to the training room; I'd only been there a couple times and the two bots with me thought I might like to go see my guardian practising with Bulkhead as "It's sure to be a sight to see" Arcee claimed. I'd never seen Ratchet train before, and from the sounds of it he rarely did - which made sense - but I was worried. So, with some prompting from Arcee and Bee's big puppy-dog eyes (and who can say no to him like that, really), I had been expressing my worries with them. I patted Bee's shoulder in thanks to what I could tell was something to try and comfort me.

"I think Ratchet's new attitude might be good for him," Arcee started, and when my brows pinched together, she elaborated, "he's got his confidence in the field back, and we could definitely use another powerhouse against the 'cons."

"I guess…" I trailed off, and Arcee's face softened at my disheartened disposition.

"Look, if it's bothering you that much, how about you talk to him after training? I'm sure he'll put you at ease." My lips ticked up gently as I thanked her. She shrugged. "Besides, it's Ratchet. I can't imagine-" a thundering crash echoed down the hallway and the walls shook. Bee beeped sharply and held me steady but it only lasted a few seconds. We rounded the corner and I had to blink twice at the sight in front of me. Can't say I ever thought I'd see Bulkhead dazed and indented into a wall upside down anytime soon. Or ever. "What was that?"

"Are you okay, Bulkhead?" I called out.

The mech could only groan in response and my eyes were drawn to the massive hole across from him where none other than Ratchet was- was he shadow boxing?! Yep, Ratchet was shadow boxing as he stepped through the hole. I had to pick up my jaw from where it fell to the floor. "You have competition Bulk. I'm a bit stronger than I used to be. Also a bit faster - fwhaa!" I flinched back as Ratchet struck his fist out at Bumblebee's face only to stop short with a laugh. "Think you can take me, muscle car?" Bee buzzed a negative and held his right hand up in a show of peace, his left still hovering in front of me defensively. Ratchet scoffed. "Whimp." He swaggered past Bulkhead pulling himself up and made a clicking noise as he passed Arcee. "How's it hummin?" What? We all stared dumbfounded as he turned down the next hallway.

Arcee balked. "Did he just-?"

Bulkhead nodded. "Stronger, faster, studlier."

…

"Still think his new attitude is good for him, Cee?" I questioned despondently.

The three bots looked at me before glancing uneasily at each other.

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My footsteps rang hollowly in the hallways as I peeked down each one, hoping to spot Ratchet. His display at the training room made my worry skyrocket and I'd left the others to follow him but lost him in the maze of corridors. As I walked, I went over what I was going to say in my head. 'Ratchet, I don't think using the Synthetic Energon is a good idea.' Mm, no. Uh… 'Ratchet, you're acting weird and you need to stop.' No to that too... 'Ratchet, you're not you when you're synthy.' I made a face. Don't quote snickers ads, Carmen, this is serious. Taking in a deep breath, I turned down the hallway to my left. 'Ratchet, you-' I paused at seeing him close a supply closet in front of me. The mech turned and seemed just as shocked before a lazy grin settled on his face. …you're scaring me. "Ah, Carmen, there you are. Pretty impressive what I did to Bulkhead earlier, right?" My mouth was parted and all the things I wanted to say to him seemed to disappear. Ratchet took that as a positive though. "Simply too awed to respond? You humans truly are quite simple."

That snapped me out of my stupor and I glowered at him. "Why are you back to insulting me? This isn't you, Ratchet." He just scoffed.

"Puh-lease, treating fact as insult is demeaning for you."

My shoulders sagged and I fought back the tugging in my chest. "How could you say something like that? I thought we were friends." I shook my head and jabbed a finger at him. "No, I know we're friends, it's this stupid synth-en that's making you act like this. It's making you worse, not better." My guardian blustered at that and opened his mouth to quip back when the same alarm as earlier went off: Energon on the move. He growled. And then he smirked. The quick change was disturbing. His neon-green optics flicked back to me and my body instinctively took a step back. Where was the blue?

"I am much better thanks to the synth-en. And I'll prove it to you." With fast precision he reached down and plucked me up. I yelped and pushed at his fingers in growing desperation when his chest plates rearranged themselves.

"Ratchet, wait!"

My plea was ignored as he shoved me into his chest compartment and soon I was enveloped in darkness. I fell forward as he started walking and stumbled, trying to get my bearings. Finding the closest wall I started banging on it, calling out to him, but he didn't respond. He came to an abrupt halt and I took the chance to crouch down and feel my surroundings. Muffled voices sounded from outside and just as I'd found what must have been his front seats, we were moving again. Fumbling to secure the seat belt, I felt us pass through the ground-bridge and managed to click it in before Ratchet began to sprint. The padding of the seat was denting as I held on for dear life, screaming as we started flipping over. Was he trying to get me to throw up?! What was he doing, cartwheels or some shit?! Bile rose at the back of my throat and thankfully he stopped before it could come up. My breathing was erratic and my head was spinning. This was insane! I cried out feebly to my guardian but he either didn't hear me or was still ignoring me because next second he was off again.

With a jolt, the seat shifted back, up, and forward as he transformed around me and my knuckles turned white holding the ceiling handle as we swerved violently. The rocky terrain bounced me around like a ragdoll so harshly that my hair came out of its ponytail and started whipping at my cheeks. A shriek tore its way out when I looked out the windshield and saw us heading straight into a Decepticon. The seatbelt caught me from flying through the glass as we collided and I panicked at it undoing itself soon after. In a flurry of moving parts, I was suddenly in Ratchet's hand.

His other hand sheathed into a wicked blade. "It's alright, I'm an emergency vehicle." I sucked in a sharp breath out of shock. Sparks flew as he buried the blade into the trooper below us. My eyes screwed shut with a whimper; I could hear the metal screeching as he withdrew and cried out when he bounced me in his palm. Startled, my eyes opened and I shied back at the glee he oozed. "See? My abilities have greatly improved!" A blaster hit just shy of us and he sneered. "Watch, I'll show you how wrong you are. How wrong all of you are." I protested and vainly scrambled backwards as he knelt into what was horrifyingly similar to a bowling position and could only gasp as he slid me across the dirt. The slide turned into a bruising roll and my momentum only slowed when I smacked into a boulder. My lungs gasped for the air that had escaped, leaving me winded and coughing up the gritty dust. In a daze, my head lolled back to see Ratchet slashing his way through the Vehicons. He was deliberate in his incisions: cold, calculated - each foe falling in seconds - and blue was staining the ground. I didn't want to watch but couldn't tear my eyes away from his path of… of death. So many… there's so many… Fear tugged at me and through my wet, stinging eyes I could see the blurry form of my guardian climbing up a mountain.

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Optimus was grieved. It hurt his spark to see his old friend so despaired from the toll of war as to go to such measures. He knew Ratchet was not in his right mind and could only hope to find him soon. Following his team back through the ground-bridge, Arcee took to the console and attempted to trace the medic's location. "Can't get a fix on Ratchet's coordinates."

"That bogus energon must be scrambling his signal." Bulkhead griped and threw his hands up.

"Keep trying," Optimus urged, "we've got to find Ratchet… before he finds Megatron." His team agreed. The Autobot leader turned his gaze to the human area and frowned when he did not see his missing friend's charge. Odd. He knew she had not left before their departure, and he knew her well enough to know she would not leave until they returned to reassure herself, particularly in concern to her guardian. She too had been just as worried for Ratchet as he was. Something was not right. He faced his scout, "Bumblebee, where has Carmen gone?" The yellow mech looked about and shrugged his shoulders, saying he hadn't seen her since the training room incident where she left to find Ratchet.

Arcee crossed her arms. "Now that you mention it, I don't remember seeing her with him when the alert came in. She usually wishes us luck before we go." At her leader's direction, she brought up Carmen's cell-phone tracker on the screen. "That can't be right…" Blinking steadily was Carmen's locator in the very same canyon they'd just come from. Re-opening the ground-bridge, Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee went through, optics scouring the rocky floor. Bumblebee let out a sorrowful string of whirs and clicks as he eased himself down beside a boulder to their left. As they came up behind him Optimus faltered. Her brown hair a mess, dirt covered the young girl head to toe, and he could make out various scrapes and scratches now marring her skin. Beads of blood dotted around the abrasions and he cautioned Bulkhead as the wrecker hovered his hands around her trembling form as she pulled herself up. While he did not have scanners like Ratchet's, he had the basics, and determined she was not at risk of offlining or going into another respiratory attack. His youngest soldier gently nudged her with a low hum and Carmen's fluttering smile was a stark reminder of how strong their smaller, human allies truly were.

"Hey..."

Having commed Arcee, the ground-bridge activated once more and they re-entered their base. Bulkhead kept his optics on the floor to make sure he didn't bump into anything as he cradled the girl before lowering her to the raised platform. She all but slumped onto the arm of the couch. Bleary eyes peered up at him and his Autobots. Arcee stood forward first. "What do you think you were doing following us?"

"Arcee…" Optimus warned.

"I get you were worried for Ratchet but pulling a Miko? I know you know better, Carmen." The young human shook her head and explained how Ratchet had taken her with him and Optimus felt his spark pulse at the liquid build up in her eyes, ready to freshen the drying tracks standing out against her beige skin. If he did not previously think Ratchet would take his actions poorly once returning to himself, Optimus knew this would cause an even greater distress. He did not have a chance to dwell on it any longer though as his old friend's signal came back online.

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I picked at the bandages wrapping up my arms, trying in vain to appease the itching underneath. Luckily there'd been enough antiseptic in the first aid kit to clean the scrapes but the lingering itch was killing me. I sat on my hands to stop them. I didn't think the bandages were meant to come off yet. Or would it be good for it to get fresh air? Or is that later? My phone buzzed from the table and I picked it up, letting out a breath at the texts coming through.

9:38pm - Me: Hey Dad I know it's late notice but can I stay at a friends tonight please?

9:38 pm - Me: Something came up and they could use some company

9:42pm - Father Dearest: Of course kiddo

9:42pm - Father Dearest: Hope they're okay

9:43pm - Father Dearest: You need me to bring you anything?

9:43pm - Me: Thanks Dad ur the best and they will be

9:43pm - Me: And I'll be alright thanks tho

Tossing the phone down, I leant my head atop the back of the lounge, tilting backwards with my eyes closed. Going from timezone to timezone was messing me up. I'd completely forgotten what time it was when we'd left and, well, it had been the middle of the day at the energon site, and you couldn't exactly see the sun from inside the base. We'd been back for an hour by the time I decided to check my phone and thankfully sent the message before curfew, else I might not have gotten as lucky a response. I opened my eyes only to jump. "Oh my god, Cee, you scared me." The femme smirked and rolled her optics. I readjusted myself to sit backwards on the lounge and crossed my arms over the top. I gazed down at her meekly. "How's- how's he doing? Any change?"

Her face turned to a warm smile. "Why don't you come see for yourself." A cautious grin split my face and I staggered to my feet, booking it down the staircase - that earnt me a chiding from the blue bot. She walked with me to the edge of the medbay where Optimus was standing, talking with a now awake Ratchet. When we got closer, I saw Optimus spare us a look and could hear Ratchet fretting.

"-ine, since I can't, you need to go find her. She- I-" Optimus cut him off by placing his large hand on the medic's shoulder.

"Rest easy, old friend. Carmen is safe." He gestured to me and I raised a hand in greeting when Ratchet's head snapped towards me. His face softened. I watched his eyes trace my bandages and stepped forward at the sorrow settling in them. Optimus lowered his palm for me to step into and I let him lift me up so Ratchet wouldn't have to strain to see me.

"Carmen, I- I am so sorry. I put you in danger-"

"It's okay, really. Apology accepted." His put out face didn't go away. I rubbed my wrist. "Seriously, Ratchet. I know you. You're my guardian. My friend. I know you'd never do something like that normally. So it's okay… just don't go scaring us all like that again, yeah?" I held out my fist, trying to lighten the mood, and Ratchet's lip quirking up made it all worthwhile. Gingerly raising his own, he bumped it against mine.

"You did lead us to a much needed energon supply. And for that, we should all be thankful." Optimus piped in and we turned to see Bulkhead and Bumblebee hefting in large containers glowing with energon.

Ratchet sank back into the berth. "...The synthetic energon formula clearly needs refining before it can be tested again." His optics darted from Optimus to me. "On machines, not Autobots."

The Autobot leader nodded, smiling. "Let us take comfort in the fact that you were able to dispose of the quantity that remained." He placed me beside my guardian and left us to assist the others with storing the energon. I flopped down and leant against his side with a sigh.

"Carmen." I peeked up at him curiously. His brilliant, blue optics washed over me. "...Thank you." My hand rested on his. We didn't talk after that. It didn't feel like anything else needed to be said. Sitting there with our eyes closed, we listened to the sounds of the base around us, eventually falling to sleep.

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Man, this one was a fun one to write for! I kept coming back to this, wanting to get it right. you know, nice and angsty :D Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!