And I'm back already with another OS I didn't post back then. This one is short and quite angsty.
It is a translation from the French OS: "S'acquitter de sa culpabilité" in "Petites Histoires d'un instant". It was written during a challenge with the theme "Acquitter" and I would translate that by "letting go"? Or "pay off", but it doesn't work very well with how I used it.
Spoilers: Second book of Turf Wars
Characters: Korra (main, inner thoughts), Asami, Tokuga (evoked)
Relationship: Korra/Asami (but more as a background)
There were many things that Korra felt guilty about.
She felt guilty for having let so many mad people make the world suffer because of her inaction, her fear and her inexperience.
She felt guilty for having allowed so much suffering to be put on her without any way to do anything because of her weakness.
She felt personally guilty for hurting Bolin and Mako with relationships that didn't work. Sometimes she almost felt guilty for falling in love with Asami—her best friend—because there was still a possibility that it would put an end to their friendship.
They thought they were stronger than that. Then, Korra thought that there was one thing she would never allow: letting her guilt marry her because she had fallen so passionately in love with such an extraordinary woman. She would do anything—absolutely anything—so that this decision... no, this so pure and so beautiful feeling that love was would never be lowered to a vague feeling of guilt: no, she would never let anything happen to their relationship or even to Asami.
And even though she was all well-intentioned, everything hadn't been so smooth. Somewhat, she had to adapt. It was terribly easy to walk on this romantic path with Asami, forgetting that it was just as sweet as steep.
They were friends, they were lovers, but this last point still remained a new concept to explore. And to tell the truth, the various frictions that brought Republic City through fire, battles and storms didn't really help with this discovery; they couldn't only discover themselves as lovers, but rather as lovers in crisis. And sometimes, Korra thought that her life would always be a crisis and that was the way they would know each other all the time, not like in the Spirit World where everything had been so calm and peaceful. No, her life was a permanent crisis.
All this was confirmed the day Asami had been abducted as a means to pressure her. And this time she had for sure felt all this odious guilt. She was the only thing she had left. The only thing that was a little bit stable and reassuring in this fragile chaos that collapsed on the Avatar's shoulders and that she was supposed to support without saying anything. And that only thing had been taken away from her, so that she would stay on her knees to support the world.
If the balance was broken, she would never forgive herself: the world would kill her.
If Asami's throat was cut, she would never forgive herself: she would kill herself.
"This is all my fault…"
It was the only thing she could say with her broken heart that was overwhelmed with feelings far more painful than if she were bleeding to death.
So she had to let them go. She had to let them go with the love of her life. She had to let them go, with the future of the world between Tokuga's tentacles.
So, she could forgive herself for neither of them and only the end was waiting for her: her knees would break and her shoulders would no longer support the weight of the world. Everything would collapse on her and there would remain only the next Avatar to fix her mistakes, to fix all her terrible actions carried out as much by love as by the interest of the world. However, by trying to save both, she could save neither of them.
And she cried when only hope remained, as much as insatiable responsibilities and useless powers to save her girlfriend.
A/N: Thanks for reading! If you are inspired, drop a line, but I'm conscious it's not exactly one of my more inspiring works.