The bathroom was an affront to juvenile male sensibilities. No self-respecting bloke would care that every surface was spotless with a mirror shine. No self-respecting bloke would own up to freshly laundered towels, neatly ironed and scented with orris. No self-respecting bloke would admit he appreciated the calming effects of lavender potpourri.

The blame for this abomination lay solely with the house elves. It was a matter of honor to have everything maintained well above what any five-star hotel could dream of offering. In fact, demand for the privilege was so high that a weekly raffle had been implemented to avoid the aggravation of the once-inevitable fisticuffs that had been integral to the selection process.

It was in this altar to the effete that a lone boy had sought refuge. His solitude proved short-lived as another entered, eyeing him with concern.

"Harry?" Neville asked when he saw the other boy hunched over a sink.

"Neville," Harry returned, refusing to look up from the sink.

"What are you doing?" Neville asked. "Aren't you the one that always complains this place is too sissified?"

In a measured cadence, Harry replied, "I'm. Taking. A. Break."

"A break?"

Harry took a few deep breaths to compose himself. At length, he stood and turned to face Neville. With a shudder, he said, "Flora and Hestia are being persistent." His shoulders slumped as he fixed his gaze on the floor. "I can't take it right now. I just had to get away."

Neville nodded knowingly. "For all of her hinting, Audrey fell asleep almost as soon as she climbed into my bed."

"Yeah," Harry said sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I didn't know what Dora had planned."

Placing his hand behind his head, Neville blushed. "It's all right. I'm actually happy it turned out this way. Gran is going to be surprised."

Harry huffed. "One girl is a good deal," he admitted.

"One girl?" Neville asked. "You're not happy that you have more than one?"

"Neville, I can honestly say I have no idea what happened," Harry said. "I'm just a pawn in someone else's game."

"So, you're not happy?" Neville persisted.

"I'm not unhappy," Harry said. "I just wish I had some say in the matter."

"The girls did this all by themselves?" Neville asked in surprise.

Harry shut his eyes and gave a low sigh. "I hadn't thought about it before, but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with Hermione. Likewise, Dora is someone I get along with. Heck, I may even be beginning to love her. And Luna? How can anyone not adore Luna?"

"But?" Neville prompted.

"Flora and Hestia were given to me," Harry said. "Their free will was taken, and they were given to me like brooms. I'm not okay with that."

Neville blinked a few times. "After saying that, you do realize there is some hypocra… err… irony with you giving me Audrey?"

"Yeah, it hasn't escaped me," Harry said. "I'm not happy with Dora over that, but I will hear her out when she explains."

"So, you're not happy owning twins?"

"I'm not happy owning anyone," Harry spat out in disgust. "I even sent them to Egypt, hoping that they would get with Fred and George. That way, they could have had their freedom when they married each other."

"It doesn't work like that," Neville said.

"So, I found out," Harry glumly replied. "I thought I was giving them an opportunity. Turns out the only way they would have gotten with the Weasleys is if I ordered them., which brings us back to square one."

"That's…" Neville started but stopped before he got further.

"Yeah, I got chewed out for it," Harry said with a grimace.

"I think they like you." Neville tried for some good news. "Being your mistresses doesn't make them like you or even want to be with you, but they seem…"

"Aggressive," Harry concluded for him. "I'm not sure how much longer I can fend them off. Or even if I should."

"Do you know how many wizards wish they had your problems?" Neville asked.

"Funny. Ted, Dora's father, said the exact same thing to me."

"You do find interesting things to sulk about," Neville said.

"I'm not sulking." Harry protested.

"Yeah, right." Neville said.

Harry shook his head. "And then there's Lavender and Parvati. I'm honestly not sure what happened there. One second, I'm snuggling with Luna; the next, I have another girl hugging me from the other side and one on my lap followed by Hermione informing me I have two more consorts."

"Do you know how many wizards wish they had your problems?" Neville asked.

"You said that already." Harry accused.

"It bears repeating." Neville insisted. "I'm surprised you haven't done anything about it."

Harry thought for a second before saying. "Surprisingly, I haven't been as upset as normal. For a while now, my anger has been muted; nothing like before. I just can't seem to get worked up over it."

"So, you aren't really bothered by everything?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to worry about Voldemort on top of everything else," Harry admitted.

Neville took a sharp breath as he flinched at the name.

"So, as things stand . . ." Harry ignored the reaction. ". . . if I sit back and do nothing, I'm going to end up with the thirteen, Luna keeps mentioning, all the while having to keep tabs on a deranged madman out for my blood."

"You could just say 'no' if they try to add others," Neville suggested.

Harry shook his head. "It's hard enough telling Hermione no. Now she has six other witches backing her point of view. Five actually; Dora is on my side for this."

"Hermione wants you to have more witches?" Neville asked. "How'd that happen?"

"Hermione will surprise you," Harry said. "She sure surprised me."

"Oi!" The two boys turned their heads as the door opened, admitting their dormmate. "Privy council?" Dean asked as he stood there in his pyjamas.

"No," Neville said. "Harry just felt the need to complain about how many witches he has at his beck and call."

Dean stared at Harry for a few seconds before asking, "Do you know how many wizards wish they had your problems?"

Harry sighed. "I've heard that before," he grumbled.

"It bears repeating," Neville said a little too smugly.

Dean gave Harry a hard look and changed the subject. "So, what's the plan?" he demanded.

"So far, sit back and let the witches run my life," Harry said. "It's been working out better than when Dumbledore was doing the same.

"No," Dean huffed, "Not that. I meant what are we doing about the followers of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?"

"What?" Neville squeaked as Harry returned Dean's hard look.

"What do you mean by that?" he guardedly asked

"What do I mean by that?" Dean parroted. "I mean what are we going to do? They are going to murder a lot of people if we don't do something about it."

Harry's look turned to one of shock before his eyes narrowed slightly. "You got a memory," he accused.

"Yes, I got a bloody memory," Dean snapped. "That's why I want to know what the hell we are bloody well going to do about it. It's bad enough that I had to wait to get you alone just to ask; so, now I'm asking."

Neville looked back and forth between the other two boys but held his tongue. This didn't appear to help as Harry turned to him and asked, "Did you get your memory too?"

"Memory?" Neville wilted slightly. "What memory?"

"Haven't you gone to Gringotts yet?" Dean demanded.

"Gran normally handles the bank," Neville squeaked.

"Well, you need to go," Dean informed him. "If you are Harry's ally, there's probably a memory waiting for you."

"Whose memory?" Neville asked.

"My cousin's," Harry said. "They sent him back from the future with plans. I know you were supposed to be brought in."

"Oh?" Neville said. "Wasn't Audrey supposed to be the biggest surprise for the night? Now you're just getting ridiculous."

"It's been a busy summer," Harry said.

"Yeah, we heard," Dean said. "Stop trying to make us jealous and get back on subject."

"I don't know what to say," Harry said. "Right now, it's a waiting game. Openly attacking the Death Eaters isn't an option."

"Openly?" Neville asked with a strange note of determination. "Did you have something to do with all of them ending up in the hospital? If so, thanks for what you did to Bellatrix."

"Not my doing," Harry said. "I'm positive Sirius had something to do with it. I'm even pretty sure that Ted and Andi know what's going on with that. But they haven't said anything and refuse no matter how many times we ask."

"Just so you know, Umbridge is my main target," Dean said. "She killed one of my sisters and is the reason my other one lost her legs."

"Umbridge?" Harry said. "All I know about her is that she was supposed to be at the last Wizengamot meeting but didn't show."

"If given the chance, I'll put a knife between her eyes. Consequences be damned," Dean said with determination.

"I'll help," Harry assured him.

"M… me too." Shaky with the direction the conversation was headed, Neville stammered, unsure of himself as his uncharacteristic confidence failed.

Dean gave them both a searching look before asking, "So? Plan?"

"As Neville mentioned, most of them are tits up in the hospital. And they have been bleeding a lot of galleons, especially the Malfoys. As much as I'd like to just take my wand and start blasting." Harry shrugged finishing the thought.

Dean nodded. "Hermione can be vicious," he opined.

"I'm not sure she planned for it to happen quite like this," Harry admitted. "But, yes, she can be."

There was a pause before Dean continued. "I don't like the idea of sitting here doing nothing."

"We're running out of targets," Harry said but relented when Dean gave him a look. "Don't worry; I'll have Dora snoop around and see if she can dig up anything on Umbridge. Worst case, I'll have her hire someone to look for her. Hopefully, there'll soon be a warrant out for her arrest."

"Find me my target and point." was Dean's only reply.

The next morning in the Great Hall, the coven was having breakfast. Well, they were having breakfast after having a weird encounter. On their way down to their meal, they almost ran into a pair of Slytherin girls. The blonde had taken one look at the group and loudly declared, "Nope!" and started to stalk off.

"Daphne," her brown-haired friend called after her, "I still say it's a good idea."

The blonde had stomped back to grab the other girl by the back of her robes before dragging her away. As they retreated, "Nope!" could be heard loudly repeated several times.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked as he sat down on the bench with Bahiti claiming the place to his left.

"I'm sure I don't want to know," Harry replied, also finding a seat, sandwiched between Flora and Hestia.

Hermione gave them a knowing smirk as she sat across from them. "So, did you have fun last night?" she asked reaching for some porridge.

"No." Flora promptly huffed. "Harry is afraid of doing his duties."

"Wait! What?" Harry gave a startled look. "Can we please not talk about that here."

Dora gave the boy a tired look as she sat down next to Hermione. "At least one of us got some sleep. Someone climbed into bed with me and Parvati last night."

"What?" Harry looked over and realized Parvati was wearing a look of bewildered shock.

"Hush," Hermione said, her face turning red. "You got plenty of sleep."

"That's debatable," Dora muttered.

Lavender looked from Parvati to Hermione before resting her gaze on Luna who was sitting next to her.

"Silencing charms," the little blonde informed her.

"Oh." Lavender made an "O" with her mouth.

As she was coming to terms with that information, Ron's other fiancée Berenike sat down on the redhead's right. "Good day, everyone," she said.

"Good morning," Bahiti corrected. "It is good to see you, my sister."

"It is good to see you and our Ron," Berenike said. "I have much to share."

"I can't wait to hear your perspective on Ravenclaw tower." Hermione spoke up. "By the way, my name is Hermione Granger, I mean Hermione Potter. This is my wife Dora Potter and my husband Harry Potter. Our consort Luna Lovegood. Our mistresses Hestia and Flora Carrow."

"I'm Hestia; she's Flora."

"Sorry." Hermione blushed. "And finally, our consorts Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown."

"Why am I last?" Lavender pouted.

"You were sitting furthest from me," Hermione answered.

"I am pleased to meet you all," Berenike said. "My name is Berenike Sha'arawi, sister of Bahiti and intended of Ron Weasley."

Everyone returned her greeting before Hermione asked. "So, how was your evening? How do you feel about Ravenclaw? How big is their private library that I keep hearing about? Have you made any friends?"

"Hermione, let the girl speak." Dora interjected.

Berenike was looking at Hermione with a slightly open mouth. After composing herself, she said, "Yes. The evening was very pleasant. I meet many girls living in the same room I am to bed in. Much of the night we talked about the power and prestige of having a coven." With that, she turned to look at Ron. "You should have one as well. Talk to Su Li. Many were the times she blush when your name was spoken."

Ron gave her a horrified look as the thought penetrated his mind.

It probably wasn't fair for Harry to laugh at the expression. Then again, maybe it was.

"I think one coven at Hogwarts is more than enough," Dora said.

"Only said because you have that one coven," Berenike retorted. "Our father can give advice on how to do it," she added talking to Ron. "'Coven' is foreign word but he has many wives."

Ron gaped at her before turning to his best mate. "Harry!" It came out as a whine.

"Don't ask me," Harry said. "Do I look like someone who can talk myself out of something like that?"

"I'm buggered," Ron moaned.

"Your wish is my command," Bahiti said with a smile that was way too wide. She did receive quite a few stares for the comment and Ron started to softly whimper.

"Moving right along," Dora said.

"But I want to hear more," Luna protested.

"As I said, moving right along," Dora insisted. "The Potter – Longbottom alliance is going to happen. Now all we need to do is gather the other traditional allies of House Potter."

"Should we be discussing that here?" Hermione asked. "I feel we should wait for more privacy."

"It's better than the other tangent, and it was the only thing I could think of in a pinch."

"Oh look, here comes Hedwig with the 'Daily Prophet'." Harry said loudly, rescuing Dora from the awkward situation.

"Since when have you had a subscription?" Ron asked, eager to permanently change the subject.

"It's Hermione's," Harry said. "Hedwig won't let any other owl carry it."


"See, she agrees," Harry said.

"Why does owl make sound that is not a hoot?" Bahiti asked.

"It's a snowy owl thing," Dora said with a shrug.

"Bark." Hedwig agreed.

"I should warn you. When Hedwig shows up, you need to mind your bacon," Harry said with some seriousness.

"Why is that?" Berenike asked.


"Mind never," Berenike finished.

"Never mind," Hermione corrected before asking, "How long have you been learning English?"

"Hermione!" Dora scolded.

"Is okay," Berenike said. "Bahiti has been studying much longer. I learn three week so I may attend school with Ron."

There was much blinking before Luna said, "Ron was right; you are brilliant."

"Harry! Your owl just stole my bacon," Lavender complained. "Why'd she do that? She's never done that before."

"I think she might be sensing your new link to Harry," Hermione said. "That makes your plate fair game."

"Oh, look," Harry said, looking at the front page of the paper Hedwig just delivered. "Dean's going to be happy to hear about this."

"What is it?" Parvati asked, still looking shocked but evidently still able to join the conversation.

"Looks like they found Undersecretary Umbridge in her house after taking a blasting hex to the face," Harry stated as he started to read the article.

"I'm not sure why Dean would find that to be good news," Dora said. "But I have to say., despite it making me sound vicious, I have to admit it makes me happy to hear."

"Dora!" Hermione scolded.

"You're right," Dora said, taking a mouthful of eggs, making sure to chew and swallow before continuing. "I meant to say it makes me feel elated. If you had met the woman, you'd feel the same."


"My bacon!"

"Mum! Dad! I'm home." Tonks said as she walked away from the household apparition point. "It's going to be tough getting used to having to walk outside the wards every time I want to apparate."

"There you are, Nymphadora." Andi's voice came from the kitchen. "We've been waiting for you."

"But, I'm early," Tonks said, ignoring the use of her hated first name by the one who had inflicted it upon her. She had long since settled on not making a fuss when only family was present. "At least I think I'm early. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm early."

Tonks walked into the kitchen to find her mother scowling at her. "I think you should have gotten here earlier," Andi told her daughter. "All things considered."

Studying the frown on the face of the woman who bore her, Tonks asked. "What did I do?"

"One day, Nymphadora. I let you out of my sight for one day!"

"Okay, this is sounding disturbingly familiar," Tonks commented.

"Does the fact that your father and I were visited by concerned parents, both last night and this morning shine a lumos for you?" Andi asked.

"Um, would claiming to be hit by an eternal nox jinx buy me an explanation?"

"One day! Nymphadora! Seriously. One day!"

Tonks stared at her mother blankly, fighting the urge to fidget under the glare.

Andi held her gaze for a full minute before sighing. "The parchmentwork is on the table. Go sign it."


"Yes, sign it," Andi snapped.

"What am I signing?" Tonks wandered over to find a pile of legal-looking documents resting on the kitchen table exactly as her mother had stated.

"You really need to ask?" Andi queried.

"I wasn't expecting… Oh, that's Lavender Brown's father's first name? Do they name all of their family members after colors?"

"We negotiated acceptable terms," Andi said bitterly. "And here I thought you were upset over sharing your husband."

Tonks sputtered before saying, "Hermione! You can blame Hermione."

"I suppose you want me to believe you had no say in the matter," Andi said dangerously.

"It was a done deal by the time I got there," Tonks protested.

"Of course it was," Andi said. "You just let it get out of hand."

"You heard her," Tonks said. "She wanted them. She got them before they got off the train!"

Andi looked at her daughter before deflating a little. She tapped the parchment. "Sign here." Tonks did as commanded leaving Andi to lift the parchment to expose the next in line. "And here… And here… And here… And finally, here."

Tonks did as she was told, keeping her eyes more on her mother than what she was signing. "Really," she said after she was done. "It wasn't my fault."

"You are married now," Andi said firmly. "Your partners' faults are your own."

"How is that fair?"

"It's not; it's life," Andi said.

Before Tonks could reply, there was the sharp crack of someone apparating into the house. "Dear!" Ted's voice called out. "I'm home!"

"Welcome back!" Andi called out. "Your delinquent daughter is here already."

Ted was chuckling as he entered the kitchen. "Just couldn't help yourself? Now, could you?" he asked his offspring.

Tonks looked at him and said in a deadpan tone. "Hermione did it."

"I don't see you complaining," Andi said.

"You should have seen me yesterday." Tonks pouted.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Andi said, though not harshly as she finally took some pity on Nymphadora.

"We are now officially a coven?" Tonks tried.

"There is that." Ted nodded. "Good thing, too. That means Harry is going to have the help of magic to erm…"

"Yeah, that is a bonus," Tonks said, cutting her father off.

"I suggest you slow down on adding members," Ted said.

"There aren't going to be anymore members," Tonks growled.

"You might want to tell Hermione that," Andi suggested.

"I have," Tonks said. "Repeatedly. Her and Luna both. Flora and Hestia, too, for good measure."

"Do you think they'll listen?" Ted asked.

"Not a chance." Tonks visibly deflated.

"Your life is going to be interesting," Andi told her.

"With all of the killing curses flying around, I don't doubt it." Tonks sighed.

Ted grimaced. "That's not something you should be joking about."

"Who's joking?" Tonks asked. "The count is at nine since my husband boarded the train yesterday."

"Nine?" Andi did an impression of a freshly bleached and starched bed sheet.

"Don't worry," Tonks said. "They were all cast by the same girl who thankfully took her targeting instructions from storm troopers."

"So, statistically speaking, the safest spot to be is where she's aiming?" Ted grinned at the reference.

"Pretty much," Tonks said. "Though to be fair, in the memory it was obvious she was purposely missing. If she had actually hit anyone, it would have been an accident."

"Killing curses." Ted groaned. "Please tell me that was the most exciting thing to happen."

"It was." Tonks nodded.

Eyeing her daughter, Andi spoke. "And what else, pray tell, happened that was less exciting yet still noteworthy?"

"I may have rendered the new headmistress unconscious before the feast," Tonks admitted.

"For the love of…" Ted placed his hand over his face.

"And then I got the school nurse during the opening ceremonies." Tonks continued.

Andi stared at Nymphadora in abject horror.

"Then the Ministry invaded the school," Tonks said matter-of-factly.

"Nymphadora, stop messing with your father," Andi scolded.

"It's true. It happened," Tonks objected.

A poor imitation of thunder called out as three individuals appeared on the road leading to the gates of a manor.

"Wow," Tonks said as she looked through the iron wrought bars. "Just wow."

Andi nodded. "My sister used to live here," she commented. "That is, she did until it was awarded as compensation owing to the crimes of the former lord of the house."

Ted shrugged. "Arthur snapped it up, foregoing any hard galleons from Gringotts."

"Why?" Tonks asked.

"He got the land, the manor and any possessions it may contain," Ted said. "I'd say it was a safe bet taking it instead of monetary compensation, except that wouldn't be much of a bet."

Andi nodded. "The Malfoy lawyer threw a fit over it, claiming that it now belonged to Draco. Might have gotten away with it too if not for the property value Lucius submitted when it was appraised for tax purposes."

"He obviously understated it's worth," Ted said. "Saved himself a few galleons in taxes but he managed to devalue it enough to fall within the compensation guidelines."

"How much do you think he undervalued it by?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Enough that he was willing to pay a bribe to someone *cough* Fudge *cough* that was large enough to offset the taxes he should have been paying," Ted said. "Enough that their lawyer shut up when the back taxes, interest and penalties were brought up."

"Knuts on the galleon," Andi said. "Just like he would have overstated its value had he attempted to sell."

"How are the Weasleys going to pay those taxes in the coming years?" Tonks asked.

"I'm sure Arthur has already taken a few of the more obnoxious art pieces and pawned them," Ted said. "I dare say his family is already solvent for the foreseeable future."

"It doesn't seem on the up and up?" Tonks said. "True, Malfoy gave a very dark object to the first daughter of their family in generations, but this seems outside the normal bounds for reconciliation."

"That would be true if Malfoy hadn't played fast and loose with the system. When presented with the facts, the Wizengamot decided to go with the numbers already submitted. Thus, Arthor couldn't go wrong by accepting this compensation. Anything over the fair amount is squarely on the shoulders of the berk who went through the veil," Ted said.

"Poetic justice at its finest," Andi said. "I'm almost sorry it happened to my sister and nephew. If I weren't positive, that they still have enough to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, I might even shed a tear or two."

"They weren't that well off," Ted countered. "With the moves Sirius has already made and the additional compensation awarded to Lucius' other victims, Draco will probably have to work for a living to have a comfortable life, outrageous trust fund or not."

Andi shook her head. "You underestimate the size of a trust fund someone like Lucius would have provided. It's safe money for his heir. The boy will still be wealthy upon his majority, just not as ostentatiously as before."

"Just how much money did the Malfoys used to have?" Tonks shuddered imagining such a large sum.

"Not nearly as much as the Blacks," Andi said. "For whom, I remind you, you are now heir primary."

"And a lot of the wealth the Malfoys used to possess is now in the Black vaults," Ted added. "You're not going to have to worry over where your next meal is coming from, any time soon."

"As nice as that all sounds . . ." A man's voice said from behind them, startling everyone since no apparition had been heard. ". . . I think it's time we knock on the wards and let our hosts know we are here."

As one, the three turned and stared at the newcomer.

"What?" he asked. "I was invited, too. I thought it be rude if I didn't show up."

The three continued to stare.

"So… are you going to knock on the wards?" he prompted.

"Are you serious?!" Tonks cried shrilly.

"Why yes. Yes, I am. And I always have been."

With those words he began dodging as the two witches started throwing hexes. This was no time for pun and games.