TW/ NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED. THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND SELF HARM. (I am, in no way romanticizing these traumas... if you are triggered feel free to send me a message and or please talk to someone)




Meredith Grey is always fine, always the one to understand, the one to adjust, the one who keeps quiet, and the one who thinks of others first. But there is only so much a person could take, even if they are always fine. Even the strongest dams would break when there's too much water.

Ever since prom Meredith Grey was never the same, but you wouldn't notice it if you haven't known all her little quirks, habits, or the way she works. She was great in acting, so great that many people didn't even notice, not even her person Cristina, which is alarming because Cristina knows everything about Meredith.

She still laughs and jokes with her friends. She still does her job right, even better if you think about it. She still goes out with her friends after work, even invites them over to watch her mother's surgery tapes.

She wasn't a human train wreck like before but there was something off.

It almost seemed fake, like a facade of the old Meredith.

Maybe it was the loss of the light and the sparkle of mirth in her eyes. Maybe it's the fact that she refuses to be alone now. Maybe it was the way she clenches her fists, as if ready for combat despite being ineffective, every time someone goes near her. Maybe it's just her eyes that look so emotionless, and foggy, with dark eye bags. Maybe it's the way she plays with her food most of the time and barely eats anything. Or maybe it's the way she refuses to look at any person in the eye.

Though, with everything going on from the LVAD wire incident, Denny dying, Izzie breaking, and Burke getting shot, it was understandable that no one really thought much about it, but SHE noticed.

There was something wrong with Meredith Grey, and Addison Montgomery noticed it all.

She has kept a close eye on the intern ever since she came to Seattle. Always wondering what it was about her that made her husband have Marital Amnesia. So as she subtly observes the blonde, she learned and knew all her little quirks and habits.

Like the way Meredith's eyes show all her emotions, how it seems to sparkle when she talks. She knows that the intern enjoys quiet times to herself. She only ever clenches her fist when she is anxious or scared. Addison loves how she could see her reflection clearly on the blonde's green eyes when they talk. She finds it amusing how such a small person could eat so much, but still has the body of a perfect twelve year old. She definitely misses their exchange of small glances, or the way the intern would look into her eyes when they talk about a case.

"Grey with Shepherd" Said Bailey, as they stopped near the nurse station. Addison, who was there too, looked up as she heard the resident give away assignments.

Once she did though, she saw the way the blonde froze, and the way she let out a shaky breath. A hint of fear could be seen in her eyes, it was so subtle that if you weren't looking at her in the first place, you wouldn't have known but it was there, and it was gone as quick as it came.

Like a mask slid in place, Meredith smiled and nodded her head, as if nothing happened. It was scary how quick she was able to change or rather hide her emotions.

Seeing this, Addison felt as if she should do something. So, she did do something about it.

Addison cleared her throat, stopping the intern in her tracks. "Dr. Grey, you're with me today. Is that alright Miranda?" She said as she walked towards the group.

Meredith suddenly paled, paler than she was this past three days. The intern immediately avoided eye contact and stuttered "B-but—".

"I don't care about it Grey, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd asked for you, so deal with it" replied the short woman, giving Meredith a glare. The blonde could only nod her head with a sigh, and glare at her snickering friends.

Addison nodded her head and walked away, knowing that the other woman would be trailing behind her. As they reached an empty hallway, she could feel the nervousness rolling off the woman in waves, so without thinking she said "Relax Dr. Grey, I won't go all Satan on you even if you did sleep with my husband again."

Meredith gasped as she froze, before shrugging it off and her face now void of emotion "I-I… I didn't sleep with your husband Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."

Addison let out a cold laugh as she continued to walk, Meredith following slowly, "Don't lie to my face darling, I have proof." After she said that she noticed how the blonde started to fidget, and how suddenly gone was her emotionless face.

She knows that there was something wrong, and she shouldn't really care.

Not after she found Meredith's panties in her husband's coat after prom.

No, she shouldn't care that the blonde looked dazed.

No, she shouldn't care that the blonde is slowly swaying as she walks.

No, she shouldn't care that the blonde is sweating despite walking slowly.

No, she shouldn't care that the blonde looked pale as they walked beside each other.

No, she shouldn't care that the blonde suddenly grabbed her hand as she lost consciousness.

But she did, she does care, because despite being the woman her husband has slept with, she couldn't hate Meredith. It was not for the lack of trying, no, because she did try but still she cares. She should be celebrating that finally bad karma has fallen upon the woman who stole her husband, but she couldn't.

She was worried, especially when she noticed how light the blonde was when she fell into her arms. So she immediately rushed her to an empty exam room and checked her up. It was only then did she notice the blonde pooling between the unconscious woman's thighs.

Addison immediately switched into doctor mode, despite worry consuming her mind and body. She paged Dr. Bailey who, thank God, was alone when she came.

"What do you nee—" Miranda froze when she saw her intern lying on the exam table, unconscious and bloody. Suddenly she was filled with a sense of dread, because bad things always seem to follow her interns around, especially this one.

Bailey looked up at the redhead "What the hell happened now?"

"We were talking and walking towards the OB wing when she suddenly collapsed" replied the redhead, as she closed the blinds and moved to call for a few nurses.

The two women proceeded to check up on the still unconscious intern, setting her up to a heart monitor and an IV when suddenly a machine went off. "Her BP is dropping, she's losing too much blood!" said Bailey, who immediately asked a nurse to grab bags of blood for transfusion.

Addison immediately thought about the possibility that it was a miscarriage, since she knew that the woman was actively participating in sexual intercourse, so she quickly removed Meredith's bloody pants. She didn't expect to remove the woman's pants this way—not that she thought about it though. She was shocked to see bandages, but thought nothing about it and just moved to remove it.

When she finally did though, both doctors froze.

Because Meredith Grey's thighs were littered with bloody fresh cuts, and bruises in shapes of hands. The two surgeons knew those marks, especially Addison, she saw those marks, sadly, in many of her patients.

They quickly shook off their shock because even though that was alarming, Meredith Grey was still bleeding inside her vagina, and they had to stop it or else… God Addison doesn't even want to think about it.

When she did see the source of bleeding through, it only cemented their suspicions. Bailey couldn't help but look away and tear up. Addison too was shocked, clearing her throat, her hands shook as she did the necessary procedure to stop the bleeding.

Meredith Grey didn't deserve this, after all the things she went through, she doesn't deserve any of this.

When the two finally finished, they didn't have the energy to leave the young woman alone. Both were scared for the unconscious woman. They instructed the nurses involved, who knew what was happening and were also shocked, to keep everything a secret.

Bailey sat on a chair next to the door, staring at her shoes looking defeated. Addison on the other hand chose to sit beside the blonde woman, holding her hand.

"We have to tell Richard" whispered the redhead. Even though she doesn't want to, she knows it was part of the protocol, and she knew Richard would need to know.

Addison couldn't shake the images of the cuts, self-inflicted cuts, she saw that littered the blonde's thighs and even on her stomach and below her breasts. They had to make her wear a hospital gown so they had to remove her scrub top as well… and they saw the cuts, the bruises, the very dark but slightly fading hickeys and bite marks.

When the two women finally paged the chief, it was Bailey who told him what happened to the blonde. Richard was frozen in shock, unable to comprehend what Miranda just told him. He took a look at the sleeping woman in bed, who looked so tiny and fragile before finally closing his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from flowing as he recalled what Bailey told him a few seconds ago.

"Meredith had genital tearing which led to excessive bleeding, bruises and self-inflicted scars all over her body" muttered the usually outspoken resident.

"Are you telling me that Meredith Grey was… that the closest person I have to a daughter was…" said Richard, unable to complete his sentence.

"Yes s-sir" Stuttered Miranda, clearing her throat before she continued "Meredith Grey is a victim of sexual assault" she said, tears forming in her eyes again.

"Meredith was raped." Whispered the redhead, who was looking sadly at the blonde woman, now she knows what was wrong.

Despite their effort of keeping everything on the down low, the news of Dr. Grey collapsing and being admitted was immediately spread all over the hospital, but thank the heavens, nobody knew of the reason. Some thought it was fatigue, or a miscarriage, or some other type of sickness, and Addison was thankful that the real reason wasn't spread and was still kept a secret.

Meredith's friends were outside the door the moment they heard about it, even Alex who acted unbothered but you could see worry in his eyes. They were only able to see the blonde, but had to leave after being paged, even though Cristina didn't really want to. She was Meredith's person, she needed to stay, but being interns made that impossible.

The only thing she could do was tell Addison to "Take care of her for me, please. I know you hate her but I can't be here right now even if I wanted to. So please stay here." Even though it was shocking to see Yang beg, Addison could only nod her head, she wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

She refused to leave the blonde, not after what she saw, and after her last conversation with the blonde.

"I-I… I didn't sleep with your husband Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."

A few minutes later, when it was only Addison left, Meredith stirred awake. The blonde's eyes fluttered open and took a look around her. When she realized where she was, she immediately sat up straight, panic in her eyes.

Meredith felt the room closing in on her, she was having a panic attack. Her breathing was shallow, her heart was beating rapidly and her eyes kept darting from one thing to another.

Addison quickly stood up and held Meredith's hand, saying comforting words to calm the blonde down. "It's okay Mer, you're safe." She repeated over and over. Who cares if they were the adulterous wife and the dirty ex-mistress, at times like this it's solidarity and understanding between women that is needed.

Suddenly Meredith let out a sob.

She was no longer fine.

The dam finally broke.

Addison's heart broke as the blonde cried in her embrace, so she hugged her tightly as her own tears now flowed down her face. "You're okay baby, you're safe with me, let it out. I'm here and I'm not leaving you."

It took a few more minutes before the blonde finally calmed down. She held on to the redhead, who now was lying in bed with her, stroking her hair as she said comforting words.

The two women then looked up when suddenly Derek burst through the door, eyes wild. "Are you okay?" he asked, before he stopped when he saw Addison on the bed with the blonde.

Addison felt Meredith freeze, back suddenly straight, hands gripping her scrub top tightly. Suddenly Addie felt bile rise up her throat as she thought about something. No. It can't be. Derek won't do that right? He wouldn't… right? Especially to the woman he claimed to be the love of his life.

But her suspicions were proven right when suddenly Meredith spoke.

"Dr. Shepherd, I'm fine. Please leave."

"But, Meredith, are you sure?" replied the neurosurgeon.

"Yes, this is none of your b-business" stuttered the blonde, still avoiding eye contact.

Derek moved forward, glaring at the redhead who tightened her hold on the blonde. His eyes were wild, it was scary. "Meredith—"

"LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH DEREK!" screamed the blonde, no longer caring if people heard.


"Derek, you heard her, leave" interjected the redhead, unable to keep her own voice from rising. It was clear that Meredith didn't want Derek there, she was distressed.

"Shut up Addison, you're the one that should leave, I need to talk to Meredith privately." Snarled the feral looking man.

"N-no don't leave me Addie, you promised!" whimpered the blonde, clutching her tighter.

"I won't Mer, I'm here" whispered Addison, glaring at her husband… Well, soon to be ex-husband, she couldn't stay married to a disgusting man.

"But Meredith we need to talk—"


Meredith began thrashing around and sobbing, throwing things at the man. Addison was only able to stop her after her initial shock.

"I didn't do anything! You wanted it!" screamed Derek back.

This made Addison mad.

How dare this man touch a woman against her will and have the audacity to yell that she wanted it!

She was going to stand up to slap him when Callie beat her to it, who heard everything and was actually there after Derek… after he left Meredith broken at an empty exam room during prom.

Callie slapped him hard, followed by a punch from Alex who was in Callie's service. He heard everything and he was seeing red.

Derek stood up and was going to punch Alex back, when suddenly Richard entered the room and said "I advise you to not continue Dr. Shepherd." Eyes cold and voice loud and clear. Derek scoffed and faced Meredith, stepping closer "Don't even think about it Shepherd!" growled Alex, stepping forward.

Derek glared back, and faced Meredith before saying, "We're not yet done Meredith." And before he left he made another disgusting remark "I knew you wanted it, because whores will always be whores."

Callie had to stop Alex from punching him again, because even though she wanted to do it herself, she knew that they were still in a hospital and that they still needed concrete proof. "Shepherd to my office!" shouted Richard, as security escorted Derek out.

The room was suddenly quiet, only the small sniffles coming from the crying blonde woman could be heard.

Meredith then whispered, "He's right it was my fault, I'm a whore."

Addison let a tear slip through her eyes, before she hugged the woman tighter "No it's not your fault, none of it was. You are not a whore Meredith, it's not your fault."

Everyone was quiet, no one had it in them to talk after what the blonde just said.

Meredith was far from being fine, everybody knew it.

Everybody also knew that it would take a very long time before she would ever be again.

"I'm sorry" Whispered the blonde again before she went limp in Addison's arms as she lost consciousness again.

"Meredith? Meredith!"