A/N: So a little bit ago I wrote this for my friend, Noble4259, for this arkos collection. I wrote it to try and see if I could get back into writing my other stories (with mixed results).

This is a story based on the Team Fortress 2 short film, 'Expiration Date.'


A banged and shot-up RV sped down the empty desert road. Pyrrha was asleep in the passenger seat while Coco drove and the rest of the team was in the back. They were on their way back to base after a successful mission.

The computer on the dashboard started beeping from an incoming call. Coco tapped Pyrrha's shoulder to wake her up, but it didn't work so she punched her hard in the shoulder.

"Gah!" Pyrrha jumped and had her hands ready for a fight "Who wants some?! Wait..." once she realized she wasn't in danger, she noticed Coco pointing to the incoming call. "Oh." She pushed the button to accept the call. "Oh, hello Jaune!"

"Hello Miss Nikos," Jaune greeted. "I'm calling about the mission. Was it a success? Did you guys get the briefcase?"

"Yep," Pyrrha beamed with a smile. "Mission accomplished Jaune!"

"Great! Did anyone see you?"

"Umm," Pyrrha thought back to the mission, "basically no one. We were stealthy as one can-"

"Pyrrha, the administrator sent me in for clean up, I'm here right now," Jaune stated. "I saw the destruction from the firefights."

"Oh," Pyrrha's smile dropped. There went trying to impress him. "Well… you see-"

"HELLO AGENT JAUNE!" Penny shouted as she rushed between Coco and Pyrrha, startling them and making Coco almost veer off the road and crash.

"Hello Penny. What happened to your head?" Jaune asked, since it was hard to notice the chunk missing from the android's head.

"Shotgun point-blank to my cranium, but I'm ok!" Penny said enthusiastically. "The mission was another success for the R.E.D. Mercenaries! We killed everybody and took the briefcase!" She then held the armored briefcase up to show him.

"Not everybody Penny. You left four witnesses guys," Jaune paused as he heard someone start groaning in pain behind him and took out a silenced pistol and shot her. "Make that five."

"Sorry," Pyrrha winced. The RV turned and pulled into a hidden entrance in the cliff face that led to their secret base and parked in the garage.

"Don't worry about it, that's why I'm here. Just make sure the briefcase is locked up and secured in the safe, got it?"

"Yes sir," Coco said before Pyrrha could, earning a short glare.

"Oh, do you guys still want that wiring to fix the RV's engines or is it running ok for now?"

"Oh don't worry sir, I managed to jury rig a solution so as not to bother you about that, " Penny saluted.

"Really?" Coco raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I realized that the wiring we needed was used in the cups of Coco's bras, so I took them out and used that instead," Penny explained with a beaming smile. Everyone else deadpanned.

"What..." Pyrrha deadpanned

"What..." Jaune shared her expression.

"You bitch!" Coco gasped. "I knew something was wrong with them!"

"It worked though, the engine no longer stutters like it did before." Penny was oblivious to Coco's anger.

"Ok… well… alright. Anyway, have a good weekend guys. And Penny, I'll get an order for your replacement parts made as soon as I can."

"We will," Coco sighed as she got out of the RV.

"Thank you Jaune," Penny said as she exited by climbing over Pyrrha while the rest of the team exited out the back and side doors.

"Yeah, bye," Pyrrha huffed annoyedly, but then her eyes widened when she realized she was alone. "Hey Jaune, before you go, I uh-"

"Yeah?" Jaune started piling some of the bodies.

"I… hmm, I uh..."

"Pyrrha, are you still there?"

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I was just thinking, you're… probably busy this weekend."

"Basically. My weekend," he hefted up a shovel and a hacksaw "will consist of burying and burning bodies, so no one can trace this and you don't go to jail."

"Oh, right. Thanks, that's good..."





"Wha?" Jaune turned to a squeaking door. "Sounds like guy number six, and maybe seven. I'll talk later." The call then ended.

"Right, maybe later," Pyrrha leaned back in her seat, defeated. She had an opportunity and she choked… again.

"Still asking out that dial tone?" CInder chuckled as she walked by.

"Shut up," Pyrrha sighed and got out with the rest of them inside. They saw Ruby and Winter working with some of the teleporter pads on the counter.

"Hey guys, what are you working on? Is Yang back with the beer yet?" Coco asked as she tossed the RV keys to them. They didn't make an attempt to catch them. "Nice… catch?"

Winter and Ruby shared a look. "Listen," Ruby said as she took off her goggles, "me and Winter-"

"Winter and I," Winter corrected.

"-have been running experiments on the teleporter and uh… you guys need to see this." Pyrrha, Cinder, Penny, Coco, and the rest gathered around. Ruby hit a button and the teleporter spun alive. A moment later, a loaf of bread appeared.

"You can teleport bread. That's cool?" Pyrrha said.

Winter then grabbed it and broke it in two, causing everyone to recoil back. Inside the loaf were giant green globs of pulsating… jello was a good description.

"What the hell is that?!" Coco screamed.

Winter was silent for a moment. "Tumors," she answered.

A heavy silence filled the room.

"You girls all know what this means, right?" Ruby asked.

"Of course, it means -eans -eans -eans," Penny glitched, her head twitching a few times, "WE CAN NOT TELEPORT BREAD ANYMORE!" the android screamed before falling to her knees and crying.

"No no, not exactly Penny," Ruby went next to her to comfort her android friend. "You can teleport as much bread as you like." Penny immediately smiled.

"That goes for the rest of you," Winter said. "If there's something you guys want to do before you, well, die, now is a good time to try."

"How long before these tumors kill us?" Cinder asked.

"Let's see," Ruby cupped her chin, "we all use the teleporter, let's say, three times a day on average… times four years… minus we're not wheat-"

"Four days," Winter interrupted, "we all have roughly four days to live." The heavy silence returned as everyone, except Penny, drew in the seriousness of their situation.

The teleport suddenly activated again and Yang came through holding several cases of beer. "Wooooooo! I got the beer guys! Let's… party… what's wrong guys? What did I miss?"


Though there was still a few hours of daylight left in the day, Pyrrha retired to her quarters. She cried into her pillow, soaking it with her tears until she physically couldn't anymore. She was, understandably, not taking the news of her imminent demise well. She began thinking about all she did in life. The good, the bad… she regretted not doing a lot of things.

One of those things was being passive about Jaune. Despite what she felt for him, she never pushed for it, she always backed down from it for one reason or another. But now, she would have no more chances. If she didn't have a date with Jaune now, then she never will. And she wanted at least one more good time before she finally died. But the problem was that she didn't know how to do it.

...well… there was one person she could ask. Normally she would have rather died than ask her for help, but in this situation...


Pyrrha quickly walked down the hallway, heading to her office. Lost in thought, she wasn't careful as she rounded a corner and ran into Winter and Ruby pushing some carts.

"Hey, watch it!" Winter said.

"Sorry," Pyrrha apologized but kept moving.

Winter and Ruby kept pushing the carts, not noticing that a few loaves of bread fell off. Later, Penny came down the hallway and paused when she saw the bread on the floor.

"You can teleport as much bread as you like," Ruby's words echoed in her mind. She smiled and took the bread.


Cinder sat in her private room, reading a book by the fireplace. There was a knock at her door. "Go away," she said.

"Um, hi," Pyrrha poked her head through.

"Ah, Pyrrha, just the woman I wanted to see. Please, kindly go fuck yourself."

"Yeah, good one," Pyrrha chuckled awkwardly. "Listen, I-ack!" Cinder tried to shut the door on her but ended up closing the door on her head. "Cinder! Cinder, wait!" Cinder was raising a knife out of her view. "I'm having my face crushed between a door because I need your help, please!"

After a moment, Cinder sighed in relentment and holstered the knife before letting her in. "Whatever it is, make it quick," she went to refill her wine glass as Pyrrha entered, rubbing her cheek.

"Look, there's something I want to do before I die," Pyrrha said, Cinder motioned for her to get to the point. "I… want to go on a date with Jaune."

"Agent Arc?" Cinder asked. Pyrrha nodded. Cinder then burst out laughing, and kept laughing for a little bit but stopped when she noticed Pyrrha's expression didn't change. "You're serious?"

"Yes," Pyrrha nodded.

"You want to go on a date. Pyrrha, you clam up on a call with him. You are terrible with boys."

"What, no no no, Cinder, you've got that wrong."

"Do I now?" Cinder crossed her arms.

"I'm not looking for a boy." She gets a longing look on her face "Jaune's a man…"

Cinder rolls her eyes and mutters "If you say so." Under her breath. Pyrrha glares at her before Cinder continues "So, you're wanting to stop playing with boys, and go for real 'men' now?"

"That's right." Pyrrha nods.

"Well, why are you coming to me then?"

"I... haven't done something like this before," Pyrrha admitted

Cinder laughs at her. "Sounds like the excuse of a little girl wanting to act like an actual woman."

"Yeah well, I doubt you were any different before either," Pyrrha huffed.

"Just get to the point."

"You are great with men. You know, guys who smell good, dress nice, look at you with respect, the kind of guys that… that make you feel a certain way when you see them and they see you… where just them being around you is enough to make you happy."

"Don't make me gag."

"The point is you can help me."

"And how can I do that?"

"Because you have experience with men. I mean look at you," Pyrrha motioned to hanging portraits of Cinder and her ex-husbands. "Sleet, Lionheart, Ozpin, Jaques. You managed to charm and marry some of the most powerful and wealthy men in the world. Just unfortunate that they all unexpectedly passed away."

"Yes, indeed," Cinder spared a quick glance at a display case that held the knives that killed said men. "This still doesn't explain why you need my help."

Pyrrha sighed. "Because guys like Jaune won't go for a girl like me."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Cinder, I don't know."

"A mystery we will take with us to our graves. Goodbye," Cinder turned to walk away but stopped when Pyrrha called out.

"Wait wait. I uh..." she sighed in defeat, "Ok fine. You… are better than me." It physically hurt her to say that. "Can you please help me?"

Cinder waited a few moments for her smug, satisfied smirk to die down a little. "I'll do it, on one condition. Follow me." Pyrrha wordlessly followed to the intercom room. Cinder walked to the microphone hooked up to the base's intercoms and moved it towards her. "Say what you said to me right into the microphone." She turned it on.

Pyrrha froze. She almost wanted to back out. The embarrassment of admitting Cinder was better than she wouldn't be worth it. But, they all would be dead soon anyway, and this would be her only and final chance to get a date with Jaune.

She took a deep breath and…

(one very embarrassing moment later)

Pyrrha stood in the middle of the training room. Cinder reentered and pushed a cart towards her. There were several items on it, including a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken.

Cinder then took a few steps back and stood in front of Pyrrha, arms crossed behind her back.

"Seduce me," she said.

"Wha?" Pyrrha asked, confused.

"Seduce me," Cinder commanded again.

"Uh," Pyrrha looked around to make sure Cinder was talking to her. "Cinder-"


"Ok ok," Pyrrha held her hands up in mock surrender. Now understanding what was going on, she half filled a glass of wine and stunted over to Cinder. "Why hello there, my good sir. What might a gentleman like you be doing in a place like this?"

"For a first attempt that was ok, but honestly that was insultingly pathetic and cliche. Try again," Cinder ordered.

Pyrrha decided to take a different approach to this "Hey there, is it hot in here or is it just me? Cause right now you're turning me into cinders." she finishes with a wink.

Cinder gets a look of absolute disgust on her face, "Are you trying to get a man, or are you trying to get one of those pathetic playboys? Try again, and actually try this time."

Pyrrha thought back for a moment and recalled a flirt idea she thought of long ago. "Ma belle Jaune, serais-tu honorée de sortir avec une femme comme moi?" She said perfectly in French, accent included.

"Is that French," Cinder asked.

"Yep," Pyrrha smiled.

"I will admit, I am impressed at that. However, what makes you think he speaks or understands French?"


"It's because his name is French in origin, isn't it?" Pyrrha's only response was to sheepishly nod. "By that logic, I should go to Yang for Chinese lessons or how to use chopsticks and suppress different opinions. Good intentions but unintentionally racist. Try again."

Huffing, Pyrrha walked back to the cart. She grabbed a bucket of chicken and walked up to CInder. "Hey," she took a bite and took her time chewing and swallowing, "I gotta bucket of chicken. Wanna do it?" She added a grin for good measure.

Cinder could tell Pyrrha was taking the piss out of her with that attempt, which was why she didn't feel regret when she swiped the greasy bucket and dumped it on Pyrrha's head (after dumping the chicken on a plate on the cart first, she didn't want to waste good chicken like that).

"Now that was uncalled for," Pyrrha took the bucket off and tried to wipe the grease out of her hair.

"No, it wasn't. Do you really think Jaune will be intrigued by your incompetence? My God you're pathetic," Cinder said.


"If you weren't, you wouldn't have come to me for help." That shut Pyrrha up. Cinder then grabbed a training mannequin and held it in front of her. "I am Jaune Arc, I am a man of mystery of profession, I am the man of your dreams. You want to be my lover? You want me to rock your world? You want me to make you feel like a woman?! Earn it!" She then used the mannequin to slap Pyrrha across the face. "Seduce me!"

Pyrrha pouted and held her cheek, but determination filled her eye. It almost made Cinder smile.


The next few days went by in a blur. Cinder put Pyrrha through the ringer, giving her lesson after lesson on proper dating, dancing, table manners, wine tasting, and anything else she'd find necessary. Others joined to help since they had nothing else better to do, with mixed results. Pyrrha struggled initially with Cinder's tests, failing miserably time and time again trying to meet her high standards. However, as time went on, she started improving. She got nowhere close to Cinder's set standards, but she wasn't getting chastised as much and even saw her smile and nod in approval more than once.


Pyrrha squinted her eyes as Cinder shone a light directly on her.

"Final question: you have a dinner date at a restaurant at 7 p.m. What time do you arrive?" She quizzed her.

Pyrrha smiled. "7… am, case the restaurant, get background checks on the staff and cook. Can I trust them? If not, kill them and dispose of the bodies and replace them with my own guys no later than 3 pm" She looked up at Cinder, who returned the smile.

"You are ready."


"Nope, what you just said was complete nonsense for this. And, this is the final day we have. Congratulations Miss Nikos, you're a failure." Cinder took out a bottle of whiskey.

Pyrrha was quiet for a moment before thinking this was another of Cinder's tests. "I failed, did I?"

"Yes." She poured two shot glasses.

"Did I?"

"Yes." She handed one to Pyrrha.

"Did IIIIIIIII?" Pyrrha leaned forward.

"Yes, you failed." She handed one glass to Pyrrha. "Congratulations, you'll die alone, and a virgin." Cinder raised her glass up and drank the shot.

Pyrrha, meanwhile, stared into space. This was all just a game to Cinder, wasn't it? A last little thing to mess with her one last time before death. Had she really just wasted all of this time for nothing?

"You know what Cinder… screw you. I can do this by myself!" Pyrrha declared.

"By yourself?" Cinder didn't even try to hide her smirk.

"Well, I couldn't do worse than your attempts to help me, which was just over three days of taking the piss out of me. So why don't you..." Cinder tapped her wrist to remind Pyrrha the clock was ticking. "Oh, right." She turned to leave and started walking away.

"I want my glass back," Cinder said.

Pyrrha turned back and walked up to Cinder. "Here." She then splashed the whiskey on her face before putting the glass down and leaving.

Cinder wiped the whiskey off her face and left to go shower.


Cinder sat in the main room watching Pyrrha work setting up a room through a security camera.

"What is she doing?" Coco took a seat next to Cinder. "It looks like she's setting up a fancy dinner."

"She is setting up a date for Jaune," Cinder replied. Others gathered around.

"For him, or with him?"

"Sorry, with him."

Coco whistled. "Damn, she has one ballsy of a last wish, huh?"

"Indeed she does."

"Couldn't she have used a better room than that side office?" Coco asked. The room Pyrrha chose to set up was that small one-room building on the side of the center of the base. It was used as a small recreational room, but it also held the secret door that led to the hidden vault that held the important briefcase they acquired days earlier.

"What's wrong with that room?" Penny asked as she walked up behind them.

"Oh, hey Penny," Coco greeted, eyeing the hole Penny still had in her head. "Haven't seen you much over the last few days. Where were you?"

"I was following Ruby's orders!" She smiled brightly.

"...ok then. Wha-" All heads turned to the soundless flashing red lights in the room. "That's the silent alarm! The vault was breached!"

"That's impossible!" Coco shouted. "The only way in is-"

"Through where Pyrrha is in," Cinder said. She looked back at the camera feed as everyone else in the room walked over to see too. A computer screen in the room was on, showing it was just recently used.

"Wait… did she hit the silent alarm?!"

While the rest of the room got into a heated debate about it, Cinder leaned back with a smile. She didn't know if Pyrrha accidentally hit the alarm or did it intentionally as a way to summon Jaune, but either way, this was going to be entertaining.


Even though they were predicted to die tonight, Ruby and Winter continued to work and experiment to try and find a solution. No one could really say how close they were. The only result they seemed to make is filling the room with the smell of burnt, diseased bread.

"Ok, ready to try this again," Ruby said as she put a loaf of green tumor-ridden bread on the teleporter pad. "Ready?"

"Ready," Winter turned to the other teleporter pad. Moments later, the bread teleported.

"Anything different?"

"Yes. It… appears to have grown… bones sticking out of its body?" Winter observed. "It-" the bread started wiggling and started making some noise. "The hell?"

"Rawr!" The end of the bread shot up to Winter, revealing a mouth with pointy teeth. Winter screamed. The bread shot up and bit down on Winter's shoulder.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!" Ruby screamed as she rushed to help her friend.


As his motorcycle sped down the road, Jaune was panicking. The vault's silent alarm went off! The briefcase was in danger! This was the worst case scenario! If that briefcase was gone, the administrator was going to have his head, most likely in the literal sense! He drove through the hidden passageway and practically jumped off his motorcycle as he got to the building.

"Ok, Jaune, it will be ok," he said to himself as he stacked up on the door and cocked his shotgun. "You got this." As he was about to bust it down, the door opened.

"Oh, hello Jaune," Pyrrha greeted with a smile.

"Pyrrha?!" Jaune gasped.

"That's my name. An-"

"Alright good," Jaune quickly rushed into the room.

Pyrrha follows him inside as he stands in front of the 'in case of emergency' button, "You look great tonight Jaune."

Jaune looks at her confused for a second before saying, "Thanks so do you, but we gotta get the-" He paused as he took in his surroundings. "Wait, are you having a formal dinner or something?" He then realized that she, and the base itself, were rather calm given the current situation.



Everyone watching Pyrrha's 'date' unfold winced at the current events, even Cinder.

"My God," Cinder looked away and massaged her temples. She was looking forward to seeing Pyrrha making a fool of herself. But now seeing it unfold, with Jaune's anger and Pyrha's regretful face… she wished she actually helped her set it up. This was just sad and she actually started to feel bad for her.

"Guys!" They all turned around to see Ruby burst into the room. "We're not gonna die! It's just bread that gets tumors!"

"It's not even tumors," Winter walked in behind her, and everyone gasped when they saw a glass jar with a monster in it. "It's some kind of mutagen substance that materializes in pure wheat-"

"The tumors only form in bread and make bread monsters if there are enough tumors," Ruby cut her off to put it bluntly.

"That is one way to simplify it. Have a look," Winter held the jar up for all to see. She then shook it and the little bread monster thrived around in anger, snapping its jaw.

"It hates you so much," Ruby giggled.

"I'll take it as a compliment."

"Wait, so this means we're not dying?" Yang asked.

"Nope, we're all going to be fine." Everyone cheered at Winter's words. It was such a relief to find out you were not actually dying from tumors.

"Just as long as we don't teleport bread, we'll be good," Ruby reassured. Everyone continued to cheer, except for one.

"Uh, Ruby?" Penny raised a finger in question.

"Yes Penny?"

"I teleported bread."

"Wait, what?" Most of the cheering stopped as they all looked at Penny.

"You told me to, remember?" Penny's head tilted to the side and replayed in Ruby's voice, "You can teleport as much bread as you like."

Ruby's eyes were wide and her mouth gaped like a goldfish.

"How much bread have you teleported?" Winter asked slowly.

"I don't know, but I have spent most of the past four days doing so," Penny stated proudly.

"Where?!" Winter dropped the jar and held Penny up with both hands. "Where have you been sending it all?!" Everyone was too focused on Penny to notice Ruby screaming as she tried to kick the little bread monster away from eating her toes.

"Oh, I was sending them all to the vault just so I wouldn't inconvenience anyone," Penny responded.

Cinder and several other heads snapped back to the computer that showed the Vault breach alarm. The whole building shook.

"Oh fuck… Everyone move it!"


"Pyrrha, I only get so much time off a year, and you just wasted it on..." Jaune sighed. It was more than obvious he was annoyed.

Pyrrha's stomach twisted in a very uncomfortable way. This was not how it was all supposed to go. She was so close to breaking down. SHe wanted to be anywhere but here. She almost wished the tumors killed her earlier.

"I.. look Pyrrha," Jaune looked over to the dinner she worked hard to prepare and sighed. "I get what you wanted to do, but did you have to set off the vault alarm to get me here?"

"I… wait, the vault alarm?!" Pyrrha gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"I came over here because the vault alarm went off," Jaune rolled his sleeve up to show his wrist-mount computer displaying a vault alarm. "I assumed that's how you summoned me."

"What- no! I sent you a private message! Didn't you get it?!"

"I.. wait..." Jaune looked back at his wrist-mounted computer. He never dismissed the vault breach alert. He did so, and saw a message notification from Pyrrha and immediately opened it. "Oh my God… I was so scared of what the Administrator would do that I never noticed." Pyrrha was about to sigh in relief when she felt Jaune's hands on her shoulders. "And I just yelled and ranted at you for no reason. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"No no, it's ok. You have a stressful job and I can understand it can get frustrating," Pyrrha said honestly. There were just some days on the job that were so bad that you just wanted to punch holes in the wall and scream.

"Still though, you didn't deserve that. I... I fell like a huge asshole right now. I want to make it up to you."

Pyrrha's heart skipped a beat. There was hope yet! "Well, if you want, you can make it up to me by -" they both jumped when a loud 'THUNK' was heard from the hidden vault door.

"What was that?" Pyrrha almost screamed.

"I don't know," Jaune said as he aimed his shotgun at the door, "but I don't think the alarm went off by accident any more," There was another 'THUNK', and another and another. Pyrrha and Jaune took cautious steps back as the door was starting to cave in with each strike. Suddenly the door was forced open with such force that it was thrown off its hinges and Jaune and Pyrrha were forced outside as the roof and walls exploded.

Jaune groaned as he tried to get up. "Pyrrha? Are you-..." Jaune froze as he looked up. He was met with the site of what could only be described as a giant mutated bread monster with sharp teeth and thrashing tentacles. "... what the- Ahh!" One of the tentacles grabbed his legs and started dragging Jaune towards it.

Meanwhile, Pyrrha threw the door that landed on her off and too was stunned at the sight of the lovecraftian bread monster, but was soon snapped out of it when it attacked Jaune. Noticing his shotgun, she rushed towards it, grabbed it, and shot the tentacle. The bread monster roared in pain and retracted the tentacle, allowing Jaune to scramble to his feet and bump into Pyrrha.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Jaune shouted

"I have no idea!" Pyrrha shouted back.

"ROAR!" The monster responded back and lunged forward. Jaune and Pyrrha just barely dodged out of the way. Jaune picked up a piece of a broken-up board and slashed against the monster. It responded by lashing a tentacle out and sending Jaune flying into a nearby garage. Jaune rubbed his and looked around where he landed, and his eyes widened when he eyed a certain object.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha shouted before angrily firing and pumping the shotgun as fast as she could. When it clicked empty she realized all she did was piss it off. "Oh shit." It moved to clamp its jaw on her but was forced back when a rocket hit its face.

The rest of the R.E.D. Mercenaries charged out of the main facility, all armed with their unique weapons and equipment, and engaged the bread monster in a fierce climatic battle.

Out of ammo and adrenaline pumping, Pyrrha rushed forth and bashed the monster with the empty weapon. To her credit, she managed to chip off a few flakes of the outer crust before a tentacle wrapped around her body and slammed her into the ground before flailing her around in the air like a rag-doll.

A well-placed shot from Ruby's sniper rifle got her free and she tumbled on the ground in front of the garage. Cinder helped her up to her feet. "I wasn't sure if I was going to mock you or feel pity for how this went, but considering I don't even think God himself could predict a giant bread abomination cock blocking you," Cinder said, pausing so the two of them could duck under a piece of rubble that was thrown their way, "I think this is going well all things considered."

"Thanks," Pyrrha deadpanned.

"Jaune's in the garage, be a good girl and help him," Cinder then charged forth with a revolver and butterfly knife in hand, slicing the tip of a tentacle and shooting the monster in the teeth.

Pyrrha headed into the garage. "Jaune? Are you ok?"

"Pyrrha!" Jaune ran up to her, "Yes I'm fine. How about you?"

"Well," several loud explosions and a roar echoed outside, "all things considered, I'm ok." Her eyes darted behind Jaune, specifically what he was tinkering with. "Wait, is that-"

"The 'megaton bomb' we made for that Bayside job but never used? Yep," Jaune smiled. It wasn't actually an atomic bomb, but it had the appearance of one and it did make a large explosion.

"I forgot we still had that. You think we can use it to kill that monster?"

"Yep, I was trying to bring it back online for it."

"That is a smart idea Jaune."

"Thank you, Pyrrha."



"Would you like a hand with it?"

"Yes please, thank you." They both went to the bomb and opened a panel.

"So do you know how to do this?" Pyrrha asks Jaune as he quickly got to work trying to figure it out.

"Wouldn't be the first time I-"

"Oof!" They both jumped back as Penny landed on the ground right next to them. "Oh, hello agents Jaune and Pyrrha! I hope you are ok. Sorry about ruining your daAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!" Penny was quickly dragged back o ut to the battle by a tentacle.

Jaune runs back to the bomb and begins trying to wire the new timer. "Damn it, I need more wire to connect it up."

"What do you need?" Pyrrha ran next to him.

"Literally any form of metal will do if I can wrap it around these two points," Jaune pointed out.

"Hmmm," Pyrrha thought for a moment and then remembered what Penny did earlier with the RV. "Uh, I think I have something..."

"Great, what-" Jaune turned around but paused when Pyrrha put her hands in her shirt and tore out her bra. "Pyr-..." he was stunned again when she tore the bra and pulled out a metal wire.

"Will this help?" Pyrrha held it up to him.

Jaune looked at it for a moment. "Uh… maybe yeah, give it here." he took the wire and tried hot wiring it to the bomb.

Pyrrha then blushed moments later, realizing that Jaune wasn't there for some of the on-the-spot improvises she and the girls did on missions. 'Oh God, I must have looked like a slu-' Her thoughts of shame stopped when she heard the bomb beep.

"Holy crap, that worked!" Jaune gasped. "Pyrrha, you're a genius!"

"T-thank you." This time, Pyrrha's cheeks were red from the compliment.

"Here, help me push this out," Jaune said as he got on one side of the bomb cart.

Pyrrha got on the other side of the bomb cart and helped Jaune push it outside. While doing so, she had a realization that this could be the 'now or never' moment. "Jaune I need you to know that... that thing between us-" She was cut off by an explosion.

Now that they were outside they got a better view of the situation. The battle against the giant demonic piece of wheat was still raging on. Ruby's rifle was grabbed by the monster and thrown with her still holding onto the end. Landing in a roll she quickly brings out her scythe and was about to charge in before she is stopped by Jaune and Pyrrha walking in front of her with the bomb.

"Wait," Jaune heaved as they rolled the bomb cart out of the garage and onto the battlefield., "what exactly are you trying to say."

"What I'm trying to say is… I like you!" Pyrrha did it. She said it. After years of being unable to do so, she finally said it. "I like you, and I've liked you for a long time, and-"

"Was I oblivious?" Jaune interrupted her. "Sorry but, did I just never notice-"

"No no!" Pyrrha interrupted. "I was never outward with it. I was just so nervous about taking that step forward that I never took the step forward to express it! It's my fault."

"Or it's mine. I was never the popular kid and no one was ever interested in me that way so I don't know what the signs are."

"Don't apologize, it's my fault for not being forward."

They stared into each other's eyes. "Well.. now that we know, would you-"

"Can you two fucking get the fucking bomb out here right fucking now please?!" Yang's angry swearing drew them out of their conversation and back to the climactic battle with the giant mutant bread monster. While the R.E.D. Mercenaries weren't defeated, they weren't close to winning. The abomination could take everything they threw at it, and it looked like it resorted to hitting the cliffside and throwing rocks at the Mercs.

"Oh boy… you think this is close enough?" Jaune asked Pyrrha.

Pyrrha looked around. "I think so. Are you ready?"

"Ready," Jaune slammed his fist down on the button. "Bomb's armed and on a timer! Clear out!"

They didn't need to be told twice and everyone started clearing out back to the main entrance for cover. Jaune and Pyrrha lagging behind the rest to finish their talk. Before they could make it through the door, a large boulder landed right in front of the door, blocking their escape.

Pyrrha and Jaune gasped and turned around. Their backs pressed against the boulder, hands subconsciously moving together as the monster slowly inched its way towards them to kill them. The monster paused as the bomb started beeping loudly, the sigh it was about to detonate.

Both moved to get in front of one another to shield the other from the explosion, but they ended up colliding with one another and wrapping their arms around one another. They hugged each other tightly as their world was quickly filled with loudness and bright white before going quiet and black.


Pyrrha didn't know how long it had been when her eyes finally opened again. All she knew was that something heavy was on top of her and she was lying on something human-shaped.

"Jaune?" She croaked out. "Jaune?"

"I'm here," the human-shaped floor below her said. "Hold on." He wiggled his arm under her and activated a flashlight from his belt, illuminating that they were trapped under wet and scorched bread. "Are you ok?"

"I… I can't feel my legs!"

"Oh God!"

"Wait, now I can! Ow, ow… hurts a lot," she whined. "Oh God… I feel fine otherwise though."

"That's good," Jaune replied. They were silent for several moments. "Well, I guess that was one hell of a first date. I mean, who else can say they fought some kind of mutated monster?"

Pyrrha chuckled. "Yeah, I wouldn't want to do this again though."

"It was fun, but yeah, no more monster fighting. I… wouldn't mind just going to a restaurant or something for the second one, in like a week or something."

Pyrrha's heart skipped a beat or two. "Second… yes! I would lo-... oh."

"Oh?" Jaune questioned her sudden mood change.

"I… don't think I can do a second date. I'm… I'm dying."

"What?! Pyrrha… I-"

"She's not dying! She'll be ok!" Jaune and Pyrrha jumped at the new voice.


"Right here!" A moment later, Penny's decapitated head rolled next to them. "I am so happy to see that you two didn't die in the explosion! Or get crushed and destroyed like my body was!"

"Oh jeez, the paperwork is going to kill me."


"Wait, back on track, you said you were dying but Penny said you're not?!"

"Penny, you were there when we found out about those tumors," Pyrrha said.

"Tumors?!" Jaune gasped.

"Oh, that! Well, Ruby and Winter did some more tests and found out the tumors only formed in bread, and if there's enough cancer bread together, it forms a giant monster! Isn't that cool?!"

Jaune and Pyrrha were quiet for several moments to process that all. "So… I'm not dying?"

"Nope, you're going to be fine! But we can't teleport bread anymore," she said that last part sadly.

"... oh thank God!" Pyrrha's head collapsed on Jaune and she started laugh-crying. "I'm not going to die, I'm not going to die!" she repeated over and over happily. Jaune could only wrap his arms around her and hold her tight.

Light suddenly poured in as someone cut and lifted some of the debris up.

"I found them!" Ruby yelled. "Are you guys ok?!"

"Could be worse, but I'm ok," Jaune said.

"I'm just a talking head!" Penny smiled.

"I'm..." Pyrrha tried to lift herself up, only for her arms to lift her chest. "... I think my legs are broken."


Pyrrha laid in the infirmary bed, both legs were fully cast. "This sucks."

"Winter said it would only be a few weeks then you'll be as good as new," Jaune said. "Stay strong Pyrrha, I believe in you." He smiled at her blush.

"Ahem," Cinder got her attention at the door. "If you two are done, Jaune, the Administrator called and needs you on the move. Didn't tell me what for."

"Crap. I gotta get going," Jaune rushed for the door, but then he stopped and went back to Pyrrha. "Before I do..." Jaune leaned down and captured Pryrha's lips in a kiss. Pyrrha let out a surprised 'mmph?' before closing her eyes and leaning into the kiss. After a few long moments, Jaune pulled away. "I'll call you later when I can, get well soon Pyrrha,'' he said before rushing out.

Cinder watched him go before looking back at Pyrrha, She had a goofy smile and was making stupid noises as her body shook and bounced happily.

Cinder actually felt happy for her.

A/N: And there we go. Hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading, have a great day :)