Anthologies of Bond

James Bond in: Dr. No Bras… ever!

Inside a lone cabin within the caribbean, a blonde and thirsty as fuck receptionist twiddles her thumbs whilst awaiting for a particularly signal promised to her this day. She leans back a bit in her chair and rests her stinky bare feet on the shelf beside her. She flicks the television on and watches a bit of the latest Jim Bronde film. Suddenly a loud and obnoxious beep appears from the bookcase. She runs over to it and trips over a Lego brick, breaking her ankle.

"Ahhhh" she screams, "I fucking hate myself".

She forces herself up, as her life is nothing compared to the mission. She pulls a book from the bookcase to reveal a secret signalling device within it. She dons a pair of headphones.

"This is strangways, what is your message?" She says with such confidence.

"Get your pussy out" The voice replies

"Excuse me!?" She yells in response, she can hear adolescent laughing in the background.

"Bet your pussy stinks love" The voice continues

"Look here!" She screams back, "This is a secret MI6 hotline, this is the 15th time this week. Stop calling me on it"

She then slams the device down in anger. She hears a strange noise outside and goes to investigate.

Outside are three blind black men.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she screeches, "Fucking hell, not black people!"

One of the blind men fires a fun at her and it sucks her bra clean off

"Ahhhhhhhhhh, my fucking tits are out! My tits are fucking out!" She faints and the blind men laugh at her little bubblegum shaped tits.

They then grab the secret MI6 files. One read on it "Dr. No Bra".

The Bond theme then plays for no reason.

Meanwhile, Miss Slimy trench is sat at a casino table.

"Excuse me, sir" She gestures to a man opposite her, "Who on Earth are you?"

The man cuts her a sly smirk, "I'm Bond, James Bond"

She looks at him with disgust, "Well Mr. Bond" she says angrily, "Will you take your fucking dick off the casino table?"

Everyone continues to stare in horror at Bond's 15 inch penis, which had interfered with the roulette table a few times.

"Fuck off you stupid fat slag" Bond says with a incredible wit.

"I wanna fuck you with this massive fucking cock, meet me later in bed. Cunt" Bond says in a Scottish accent.

He then walks off as the bond theme plays.

"Where's that music coming from?" Slimy trench asks, but no-one replies or cares what a woman had to say in the 1960's.

Meanwhile, Moneycunt slowly and publicly strokes her nasty pussy on webcam. "Hey everyone, give me more money and ill shove this umbrella in my fanny".

The intercom system buzzes into life.

"Moneycunt!" An angry voice shouts through the speakers. "I can smell fish, are you being a cam whore again!?"

Moneycunt quickly shuts her laptop straight onto her gaping pussyhole. She tries to stifle the pained response in order to hide her secret other job.

"No Man-M, I'm just sat here doing fuck all as usual", moneycunt responds.

"Good," Man-m replies, "that's what we pay you for".

Suddenly the intercom blows up. Moneycunt screams and swivels around on her chair. Bond was stood in the doorway with a smoking pistol.

"Hello Money-cunt! I wanna fuck your fucking pussy you dirty cunting whore!" Bond states,

"Oh Bond," Moneycunt replied, "I always love your subtle flirting"

Bond sits on a chair by moneycunt, which moneycunt had placed her massive dildo on there for later. It slid right into Bond's suited asshole.

"I think Man-M wants to see you in the other room" Money cunt states.

"Why are you calling him Man-M?" Bond replies.

"Well," Moneycunt replies, "In case there is a woman-M as some point".

"Don't be fucking stupid Moneycunt!" Bond replied and slaps some sense into her Sean Connery style.

Bond walks into Man-M's room, the wall is decorated with dick pics of presidents and prime ministers. Churchill has a disgusting fucking chode.

"You wanted me, Man-M?" Bond asks.

"Yes Bond," Man-M replies, "take off your clothes!"

Bond covers his cock in a shy way.

"No" Bond states.

Man-M points a gun at Bond, "I am now aiming directly at your groin", Man-M threatens, "Take your fucking clothes off. I own you, you fucking cheap tart!"

Bond shivers in fear and slowly undresses.

"I Knew it!" Man-M screams. "You have a bra on!"

"What?" Bond screams, "What the fuck is happening?"

Man-M gestures for some secret service men to walk in. "This is the classic work of Dr. No Bra!"

The secret service men come in and one sucks Bond's cock whilst the others rub his balls.

"What the fuck, get the fuck off me!"

Man-M stands up and throws his hands about wildly.

"No Bond!" Man-M pleads, "You mustn't disturb them, or your dick will fly off and die!"

Eventually, after sucking him off for an hour, the bra falls off.

"Oh thank god!" Man-M cries out, "Thank you boys, you are doing God's work. If God was a rent boy of course".

The secret service men leave whilst wiping jizz from their mouths.

"Do you mind telling me what the fuck is going on!?" Bond screams.

"Bond! You had the infamous Bra of Dr. No Bra on you!" Man-M said with disgust, "Haven't you noticed that the women in the world have been losing their bras?"

Bond looks annoyed, "Actually Sir… No!"

"Well Bond" Man-M says expositionally, "Dr. No Bra has one mission. To rid the women of the world of their bras, and force them onto men. Forced transvestisism!"

Bond looks shocked, and screams at the top of his lungs. "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard, are you making this shit up as you go along?" Bond states.

"Look," Man-M replies, "I've said it so its true, ok?"

Bond looks upset but has to agree.

"Dr. No bra lives in Crab Piss Island." Man-M whispers, "You must go there now and stop the tits or something"

Bond walks out and Moneycunt is really fucking upset.

"What's wrong moneycunt?" Bond asks like a bitch.

"My bra, its gone!" Moneycunt screams

Bond sees a hole next to her and a shadowy figure running off into the distance.

"You fucking bastards!" Bond whispers at them

Bond then slaps Moneycunt's arse.

"Go and make me a sandwich now, you braless and brainless fucking dumb bitch!" Bond asks nicely.

Bond then hires a boat, but Miss Slimy trench runs out after him.

"No Bond!" She states, "you can't go! There's a fucking drag queen on the island!"

Bond looks at her like a piece of shit.

"A drag queen?" He retorts, "Don't be a twat!"

Mrs Slimy Trench got really upset by that. "Well don't come crying to me when you are read to filth, hunty!"

Slimy Trench then runs away and falls into a canal, never to be seen again.

Bond rows himself slowly to Crab Piss Island.

It's very tiring, so after he arrives he falls asleep for a bit on the beach. The tide comes in after awhile so he slowly drowns. Then he suddenly wakes up and remembers to fucking breathe.

He then hears a beautiful singing from the edge of the beach

"Underneath the mango pussy, ma honey. fuck my fucking fat titties, ma honey. Violate my fucking pussy, ma honey"

Bond watches and see's a beautiful woman, she looks very small in the distance. As she rises out of the sea, and walks onto the beach, he can see she is wearing nothing but a smile. Yes, Pussy and titties are on show, chaps.

"Stop fucking singing!" Bond bellows at the top of his lungs.

The woman falls over in shock, face buried right into the sand. She inhales some sand in fear. She will never be able to sing again.

The woman then stands up and attempts to cover herself, like that famous painting of the nudie woman standing in a seashell. She is only 3 foot tall.

"You don't need to cover yourself up," Bond replies, "I've already seen your burger nips and pussy lips".

The woman uncovers her erogenous zones.

"What is your name?" Bond asks.

"Fucker" She replies

"That's just rude" Bond replies

"No" she retorts, "That is my last name. First name, penis"

"So your name is marmite fucker?" Bond replies in disbelief.

"Yes," She responds, "why is that fucking funny or something? You total bastard!".

"No not funny at all," Bond replies, "clearly this is all very serious".

Bond then takes out his whip like dick, and slaps her face with it.

"Tell me everyone you know about crab piss island, and Dr. No Bra!" Bond demands.

Marmite fucker looks scared. "Well, I don't come here often," She replies, "Legend says theres a mean-ass drag queen here".

"Don't be fucking dumb" Bond retorts, "They don't exist".

"How do you know" Marmite replies, "Have you ever seen a praying mantis fuck its husband? No! You haven't! Then you don't know shit, you nob head".

Bond is very offended and retracts his statement.

Just then they hear a horrid screech.

"Ooooooh honey, Oh Hooooooooney! You ratchet ass bitch. I am fierce, hunty!" A voice cries out in the distance.

Marmite smacks bond on the ass, "If that isn't a drag queen, then what is it!?"

Bond squints his eyes and makes out the figure. It's dr. No bra! He's wearing frilly white knickers and sexy lingerie bra.

"That's just Dr. No Bra, you dumb bitch" Bond states, then he very quickly licks her cunt. The fast licking of the cunt vibrates her and she cums violently all over the beach.

This allows Dr. No Bra to run speedily up to the pair. He fondles his sexy tits with his crab claw hands.

"So, Mr Bond," he screams, "I'll be bonding with your cock and balls tonight!" Then Dr No Bra opens his legs and unleashes a stinky knock-out gas.

They both slowly wake up and are surrounded by weird henchmen in radioactive suits, but with holes in the groin so their nobs are hanging out.

"You are covered in radio-active shit, Mr Bond" Dr No Bra says, whilst sliding a dildo into his ass repeatedly but not breaking eye contact with Bond the whole time.

"Jizz them now" Dr No bra commands.

The weird hazmat willy crew furiously cum all over the pair.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bond cries out, "what are you doing!?"

"Oh come now Bond," Dr No Bra retorts, "You knew already that only our semen can stop you getting radiation poison".

Bond nods, "Yes, yes, I knew that. Of course"

They cum all over Bond's hair and force him to eat his own pubes. They do nothing to marmite fucker.

After the massive wank session, Dr. No bra stops fucking and eating his own asshole.

"Mr Bond, I Suggest you eat dinner with me tonight". Dr. No bra asks.

"Not very fucking evil is it?" Bond states.

"No Bond" Dr. No Bra states, "Obviously we have dinner and pretend we don't know we oppose each other or something, but its tense and stuff. It's really good and classic espionage shit!"

"Right, that's it!" Bond pulls out his gun and tries to headshot Dr. No Bra. Dr. No Bra quickly and with the speed of 500 llamas, disarms bond and licks his nasty cunt.

"You are just a stupid policeman!" Dr. No Bra states. Then he fucks bond and cums inside his eyes.

Bond slowly regains consciousness in the prison of Dr. No Bra.

A Tannoy system announces to everyone on Crab Piss Island.

"Attention all, I will now start the countdown for my secret weapon. This massive satellite in the sky will suck all the bras off women and force them onto every man in the world. Every man is going to look a bit silly"

Bond gets really horny over the idea of being forced to wear women's clothes. He didn't wanna show it before but he loves to feel over knickers over his fucking cock. He got instantly erect and furiously masturbated for 12 minutes. He shoved his entire fist inside his arsehole and pulled out his entire sigmoid colon. This made him splatter the entire wall of the prison with his cum.

A guard outside heard the commotion and comes into the room. The guard slips and slides across the prison room on the cum and knocks himself out. He drowns inside the cum left by Bond.

Bond runs out and stuffs Marmite fucker into his backpack.

Meanwhile, Dr. No bra is steadily fucking every henchman in the base.

"Come on you whore" he states, "It's mandatory for you to be fisted by my crab claw hands, at least once a month. But don't look at my hands baby. Don't look!"

The henchmen clench their eyes shut, for fear of the freaky hands violating their vision.

"Anyway" Dr. No bra says as he throws a henchmen into shark infested waters as he was now bored, "Activate the countdown for the tranny guns!"

A henchman with trousers full of cum, slowly wades over to a button that says tranny starter, twisted tranny starter button.

Bond drops down from a vent. "Surprise fuckers!" Bond screams.

He then throws Marmite fucker at Dr. No Bra. Dr. No bra falls into the acid water.

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Dr. No Bra screams, "My only weakness! Acid!."

As Dr. No Bra begins to melt away, Bond looks longingly at Marmite Fucker.

"You know what?" He said, "I thought too much marmite was bad for you!"

"Well" marmite replied with a wink, "I am banned in some countries for being too fucking sexy".

Bond then forced marmites asshole onto his flaccid penis. He uses his spindly fingers to flick marmites tits so rapidly that milk squirts out into bonds eyes.

"You stupid bitch!" He screams.

He then throws marmite fucker into the acid.

"Why bond why?" She yells in sadness, as her tits melt off and shit.

Back at MI6

Man-M smokes a cigar and stubs it out on his dirty fat pussyhole. "You did stellar work on crab piss island, Bond", Man-M notes, "But what happened to Marmite fucker?"

Bond smirks, "I think she took a bit of an acid trip, sir"

Man-M stands up in disgust

"You fucking killed her, didn't you Bond!?" Man-M screeches.

"No" Bond replies back with worry, "I just said she took an acid trip".

"Yeah," Man-M replied, "but you always use that cocky disgusting euphemistic tone when you've done something fucking dumb. She was a valued member of the CIA. You dumb Cunt. You're finished, do you hear me, Finished. You'll never work in MI6 again!"

Wow readers. What will happen next? Will Bond get his license to kill women back again? Or will he just be a fucking prick as always. Also, Professor willy-titty bum fuck will not appear in the bond series, so stop asking me to add her in.